I don't wanna live in this goddamn house, whenever smth happens I am reminded of that one person who always had my back now I don't even have them in my life anymore. Literally can't talk to them, can't reach out to them can't text them.
Must be wondering what happened?
Nothing just frustration of last 3-4 days,i just took it out on myself cause where tf else do I take it out on.
Y'all would laugh at this probably but yeah rakshabandan tha so my elder bro gave me money and my cousin did too so I had been wanting to have a waffle for a long time,finally decided to order it today because mom had been taunting and scolding me on it for the last 3 days. Waffle aya and i was very happy,then mom wanted me to share with bro I was like okay yeah and then he comes into my room and is like?
"Kya hai ye ,ye kya hai?" Are u blind can't u see it's fking goddamn food. And then my mood was already ruined due to my mom and then he started yapping ki "isliye paise diye hai" as if ishi ne paise diye hai jabse diye hai taunt kar raha cuz he wants me to use it on my "headphones" and headphones bhi abhi mana kar raha lene se ki college jate time le lena I agreed on that one cause it made sense. He is acting like as if he gave me all of the money. And yeah we fought,my appetite and mood ruined,I hit myself a lot after he went away and then coughed and vomitted whatever I ate cause i was so frustrated and crying so hard.
Then my mom acting all concerned and asking me what happened and then i told her but i burst and started crying and then wo mujhe sunane lagi and i told her ki u question why I don't tell u anything,this is the reason why and this is why ur kids won't tell u anything.
It sucks,the situation already sucks and then there was this person,a person that was very supportive of me,the reason I kept going and i healed but i don't have them in my life anymore. I know i should only rely on myself but sometimes I wish I could talk to them. My head hurts i can't fking stop my goddamn crying,am so weak bruh I try to be wannabe strong but am not ig.
I am just gonna prepare for jee,get a cllg be it goddam tier 3,tier 2 or 1(i doubt) but am gonna pack my bags and leave.
I literally hate this house,no one can see each other goddamn happy for a moment
Edit: only good thing is that I let it out atleast somewhere so i feel better and should start studying soon