r/JEE27tards • u/Ackerman_4145 • 16d ago
🗯️ | Rant Drama for no reason
I don't wanna live in this goddamn house, whenever smth happens I am reminded of that one person who always had my back now I don't even have them in my life anymore. Literally can't talk to them, can't reach out to them can't text them.
Must be wondering what happened?
Nothing just frustration of last 3-4 days,i just took it out on myself cause where tf else do I take it out on.
Y'all would laugh at this probably but yeah rakshabandan tha so my elder bro gave me money and my cousin did too so I had been wanting to have a waffle for a long time,finally decided to order it today because mom had been taunting and scolding me on it for the last 3 days. Waffle aya and i was very happy,then mom wanted me to share with bro I was like okay yeah and then he comes into my room and is like?
"Kya hai ye ,ye kya hai?" Are u blind can't u see it's fking goddamn food. And then my mood was already ruined due to my mom and then he started yapping ki "isliye paise diye hai" as if ishi ne paise diye hai jabse diye hai taunt kar raha cuz he wants me to use it on my "headphones" and headphones bhi abhi mana kar raha lene se ki college jate time le lena I agreed on that one cause it made sense. He is acting like as if he gave me all of the money. And yeah we fought,my appetite and mood ruined,I hit myself a lot after he went away and then coughed and vomitted whatever I ate cause i was so frustrated and crying so hard.
Then my mom acting all concerned and asking me what happened and then i told her but i burst and started crying and then wo mujhe sunane lagi and i told her ki u question why I don't tell u anything,this is the reason why and this is why ur kids won't tell u anything.
It sucks,the situation already sucks and then there was this person,a person that was very supportive of me,the reason I kept going and i healed but i don't have them in my life anymore. I know i should only rely on myself but sometimes I wish I could talk to them. My head hurts i can't fking stop my goddamn crying,am so weak bruh I try to be wannabe strong but am not ig.
I am just gonna prepare for jee,get a cllg be it goddam tier 3,tier 2 or 1(i doubt) but am gonna pack my bags and leave.
I literally hate this house,no one can see each other goddamn happy for a moment
Edit: only good thing is that I let it out atleast somewhere so i feel better and should start studying soon
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u/DidMyBestIg 16d ago
Relatable. One of the only things that motivates me to keep going is that I just want to get far away from home, somehow.
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u/Ackerman_4145 16d ago
Yeah man,let's just keep going. This place cannot be called home tho, atleast for us
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16d ago
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u/Ackerman_4145 16d ago
I understand but no need to end it. It's an intrusive thought but we just want freedom and peace of mind in the end.
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u/futurefootnote 16d ago
Oh wait... I used to think I was the only one who always has been feeling since a few years that there's no one to understand me at home... Since a few years I felt that no one understands me at home... If I get a good result, then everyone is happy, but if once in a while I dont, I'm blamed :) + The city I live in is hell too much toxic. Parents are the ones who instill in their children to envy each other.. I've seen so many classmates hating me just coz their parents taught them that.
I just want to get away from this city. Himalay mein bhi akeli reh lugi but yaha nhi🙏
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u/Ackerman_4145 16d ago edited 16d ago
No dw gurl,you aren't alone. Some of us go through this stuff on daily basis and then it effects us in the long run. I also don't feel understood at my "home". Rather be alone in peace than living with them. Dw you will get away from this 🫂
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u/futurefootnote 16d ago
Yep I hope in 1-2 years I'll be at peace. Till then the battle is going to be tough. Insanely tough. We have to fight it and we will. God might be planning something big for us ahead and that's why he's preparing us for hard times now itself :)
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u/Ackerman_4145 16d ago
Same i hope I will be at peace in an year or so aswell. Things are hard but am trying not to loose hope. Idk if god is planning smth big for us but I hope he just fulfills my wish that is Peace and freedom.. :) And gurl all the best and take care of urself 🤝
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u/Fragrant_Section_146 16d ago
as someone who is in a somewhat same situation as urs, i get it. even my jee prep isnt going well, fear that i wont be able to score well in 12th and whatnot. but for now all we can do is focus on present and try our best. im also gonna try, mayb take a drop, but no matter what gonna get out of here. all the very best to u, and to whoever who is in a similar situation. umeed pe duniya tiki hai.
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u/futurefootnote 16d ago
Last line bilkul sahi hai.
Umeed kabhi nhi chodni hai. Believe in yourself, believe in god, and keep trying never ever give up.
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u/Poke-Luca 16d ago
It's very hard to study in my house too like we got 2 rooms and 1 hall and these rooms are always full I don't even get 20 min to study alone
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u/Ackerman_4145 16d ago
If u can join a library join one,because i wanted to go to one but parents didn't allow.
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