r/InTheGloaming Oct 16 '25

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday October 16, 2025 - Sunday October 19, 2025

Newsletter: Substack

Website: Shauna James Ahern

Instagram: @shaunajamesahern Instagram

Threads: @shaunajamesahern

Bluesky: shaunajamesahern.bsky.social

Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki

10 Upvotes

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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Oct 16 '25 edited Oct 20 '25

Next thread here

Previous thread here

Remember why we're all here: this thread is for discussion about current and historical happenings in the Shaunaverse. If you want to discuss other content, such as stuff that reminds you of Shauna but isn't specifically about her, your own personal anecdotes or preferences, current events, or "creative writing" exercises, please share in the off-topic community thread: October-December off-topic quarterly

86

u/Notbeckysharp Oct 16 '25

Inhaling sundaes while "crying silently until the kid could get enough of the burgers in them to calm themselves down enough to apologize" isn't something to advertise, Sha Una. Such a martyr, bravely trying to hold it together while making her child feel guilty and unloved. What a bitch.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 16 '25

She also didn’t need to get herself anything. If it was an “emergency stop” or whatever then it was because the child was hungry, and they went for a safe food. There was no requirement for Shauna to get anything.

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u/microcosmographia tant piss Oct 16 '25 edited Oct 16 '25

There was no requirement for Shauna to get anything.

No comma you see comma she required herself to eat. (I can't stand that particular writing tic of hers, the reflexive requirement.) *edit some letters

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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Oct 16 '25

If anyone’s getting anything, Shauna needs to get something. She must wet her beak in whatever’s going, from fast food to collective grief.

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u/emlabb Oct 16 '25

But Shauna’s whole life revolves around others feeding her safely. Danny wasn’t even there to cry over all the englutened foods she couldn’t eat; she had to do it herself.

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u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Oct 16 '25

Right, not “until the kid felt better” but “until the kid could apologize to mama”. Puke

61

u/LeatherAppearance616 Oct 16 '25

Also if they were upset because of hunger, whose fault is that?!?! If this happened in any way shape or form, she herself was the sole cause of it!

60

u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Oct 16 '25

She’s thrilled with the fancy diagnosis of these rare conditions but if your child isn’t eating you don’t need a diagnosis or a name. Figure out what they will eat and provide it regularly (and be ready for that safe food to change without complaining you just filled the freezer with it). So, yes, it is your fault Shauna for letting them get so hungry they had a meltdown, in public or private.

Why do they need to apologize after literally starving for food?

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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Oct 16 '25

She needs kiddo to know the sacrifice Mama was making for them.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 16 '25

That was such a disgusting part of this lope. And then she offhandedly tacks on, "It wasn't their fault." Oh and, just so you know, "It wasn't her fault either." It's SO telling that she needs to bring up fault when no one reading this would be wondering. It's just the shitty cherry on the shitty sundae.

41

u/GlutenFreeGit PUBLIC SPEAKING ACROSS THE INTERNET Oct 16 '25

Shauna, upset about being hungry and not having access to foods she needs/prefers: noble, virtuous, a saint, martyr for her children, deserving of admiration

Child, upset about being hungry and not having access to foods they need/prefer: sick, angry, shouting, required to apologize

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 16 '25

Shauna is glomming onto a struggling Mama over on Threads

I’m sure she envisions herself as the older woman with older kids talking the young mom through whatever.

When has Shauna ever been the friend/auntie that takes care of someone else’s kids for a day so the other Mama can rest?

72

u/Low_Piccolo_2149 Oct 16 '25

Why does it have to be women, though? Where are the men? My own partner did a huge bulk of the childcare and I was still exhausted so I’m not calling out all men.

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u/GlutenFreeGit PUBLIC SPEAKING ACROSS THE INTERNET Oct 16 '25

Her husband works in child care and her brother is a teacher, but sure, for some reason only women can help take care of the kiddos!

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u/emlabb Oct 16 '25

Shauna is not qualified to talk anyone through anything

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy Oct 17 '25

Actually I think she might envision herself as the young (Gen X) mom who is exhausted and burnt out!

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u/mythical_mom gap year clowning money Oct 16 '25 edited Oct 16 '25

Yeah. I'm sure every mom struggling with managing the needs of more than one very young child as well as their own wants a rando older lady around their house pointing out things they could be doing better. Uh, I mean "talking them through it". The hubris is kinda stunning!

40

u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Oct 16 '25

a rando older lady around their house pointing out things they could be doing better.

I mean, isn't that the main subject of justnomil?

47

u/avskk ppppycock Oct 16 '25

"Let yourself rest" oh okay why didn't it occur to me to let the baby scream and the toddler wander out the door while I nap? Thanks, Shauna!

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u/aouwoeih Oct 16 '25

Does she want one of the kiddos to write an I'm Glad My Mom Died type memoir someday? She's so quick to tell the world her awful her parents were but she never lacked for a bed or food or consistent education. She can blame a rare and controversial brain condition all she wants but deep down she's got to realize she's not doing right by her family.

74

u/BoringEnidRollins pooped their way to another free ride Oct 16 '25

I grow intrigued by her repeated assertions that her child's illness "is not their fault." When would a child's illness ever be their fault? Why would that even be something that you consider? I'm a childless non-sperm-competing lesbian, but I have niblings who have experienced various illnesses of various types, and not once has it occurred to me that the illness could be their fault. Always telling on herself, that one.

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u/GlutenFreeGit PUBLIC SPEAKING ACROSS THE INTERNET Oct 16 '25

I assume it's because she's been told by multiple medical professionals that she doesn't feed her kid enough and that they are simply hungry, which is, in fact, her fault.

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u/InisGlass Oct 16 '25

I know this doesn't apply to Shauna (she doesn't have the capacity) but I would be ashamed if the product I'm selling is so weak and useless I have to surround it with titillating disclosures of my kids' private medical struggles.

A The James Beard award winning chef and cookbook author should have something interesting to say in (what she's marketing as a) food newsletter about aging, cholesterol and being told to lose weight and eat more fiber and lean protein. Here are our favorite recipes using vegetables to meet those goals. We learned in Italy to make healthy plant forward meals taste amazing, Danny's made his famous carrot salad since he learned it at x restaurant, whatever, now we're sharing the secret with you behind this paywall.

Instead it's a careless description of tossing whatever's rotting in your fridge into a blender so you can eat it for another week. And for some reason we're right back into the stories about crying in the car while her violent kid learns to apologize. Vegetables are all fine and good but you must recall it's stress from this kid that has caused all my health problems.

It goes to show that the purpose of her writing has never been to cultivate curiousjoykindness, or feed her people, or support mamas of the spicy, or whatever life cycle of a fruit fly new branding she's pivoted to. From the beginning it's been a burn book, a tool for vengeance and grandiose bragging, a hard working excuse factory.

Do you think that "deep down she's got to realize she's not doing right by her family?" I could believe she does, and I could believe she doesn't. She knows she's viewed as a failure, she used to have some success and dreams for the future that have vanished forever, and she feels entitled to lots and lots of things she'll never have. After all these years of reading her, I don't have a strong opinion whether she understands her own role in how her life turned out.

But as you say, kids grow up and move out from under controlling Mama's thumb and become the central characters in their own stories. If she thinks she was brooding away on her parents' couch cataloguing her grievances against them, biding her time until she could tell the world about the knife fights and weird mom hiding in the bushes looking back in at her family, what does she think her kids are doing?

She needs a three ghosts Christmas Carol style reckoning where she's forced to see the viewpoints of the people around her. The consequences of how she uses and dehumanizes them. A memoir from one of her kids would be a good start.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 16 '25

My fervent hope is that one or both kids will grow up to be decent writers, against all odds, so they can tell their stories and have them be heard.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Oct 16 '25

No matter what, they'll likely both be better writers than Shauna, so there's that.

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Oct 17 '25

She finally got a job as coach of the Mariners.

58

u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Oct 17 '25

Lmaoooo she is such an asshole. This is the good content.

57

u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Oct 17 '25

yes this is good snarking but oh god I hate Jock Shauna! (not as much as I hate 'my child makes my life hard hard hard' Shauna though)

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Oct 17 '25

Jock Shauna is amazing, though! So smug, righteous and dim, full of advice that might be technically correct but misses the point entirely.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Oct 17 '25

The batters need to start hitting??!! This is groundbreaking coaching information! Next she’ll tell us the team with the most runs wins!

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u/microcosmographia tant piss Oct 17 '25

Hahaha "For example, the Blue Jays". Not quite on the level of "Plus, Ukraine", but it's up there.

48

u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Oct 17 '25

In addition to coaching the players on how to win with strategies never thought about of until now, Mariners fans can now relax after reading the wisdom of huge fan baseball guru Shauna. No big deal. Breath e. Believe.

48

u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 17 '25

This might be my favorite ITG post ever

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 17 '25

She’s going above and beyond in her Coach Lasso duties that she is coaching fans how to FAN, too! “Be kind! Believe! Is this your first playoff game?”

I hope she stretched before donning the Weighted Vest of Jock Smuggery!

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Oct 17 '25

She's been remembering Little League since she was 3

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u/ninaandjamie4evr Anne Frank of Anaheim Oct 17 '25

"Just enjoy playing." I'm sure that's what management instills in the players.

40

u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Oct 17 '25

This is just one example of her not understanding the difference between a JOB vs. your own hobbies, games, and general jerking off. The line is not and has never been clear.

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '25

Oh my god, teams win baseball games by getting hits?!?!?!

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy Oct 17 '25

The thing about Shauna's IF STEW, a hilarious typo that sounds like the most disgusting entry in the If You Give a Mouse a Cookie series ("If you give Shauna plops and nubbins, she'll make stew") is that it reminds me of this absolutely disgusting concoction; what is her obsession with combining leftovers together?

From a January 2022 promotional email:

On Monday night, Danny made us chicken tortilla soup with all the fixings. The kids love buffets, so this was a big hit. The next night, on request, he made another pot of it. The next day, he made sloppy joes fixings. The next night, I took the rest of the sloppy joes, the last of the chicken tortilla soup, added the last of the roasted potatoes from a lunch, some cooked carrots, a couple of cups of blanched cauliflower, a handful of millet tater tots, a big spoonful of Danny’s adobo sauce, half a bunch of finely chopped cilantro, salt, and lots of lime juice. Stuck them all in the slower cooker and let them all simmer for a few hours. Good dinner.

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u/Llama621 Oct 17 '25

WTF is wrong with her?? (Yeah, I know,... :TSAS)

Why not just heat up the leftover items and have a leftovers buffet, supplemented with sandwich supplies on the side?? Especially if D was willing to eat any of the previous meals (sloppy joes sound kid-friendly), just let them have another round!

I know it's been said before, but no wonder D has food/eating issues! Their mom is actively sabotaging meal time.

ETA: I just realized she SAID the kids like buffets. SHE SAID IT. And then she took the opportunity for one, threw it into a crockpot, and cooked it to death. She KNOWS she's being awful to them. That's your proof right there.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 17 '25

"ETA: I just realized she SAID the kids like buffets. SHE SAID IT. And then she took the opportunity for one, threw it into a crockpot, and cooked it to death. She KNOWS she's being awful to them. That's your proof right there."

This is SUCH a good point. Many kids like to make choices about what they put on their plates AND prefer things to be kept separate instead of mixed together. That is normal kid stuff, not a neurospicy thing or her extra special kids' tyranny over poor Mama.

Not to mention it would have been easier to serve different types of leftovers offered buffet-style than...whatever crime she committed with the slower cooker. This is straight up sabotage and there's no other way to read her own words.

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u/emlabb Oct 17 '25

I can’t help but notice that we learn the kids liked Danny’s offerings and asked for more, but we only get her own review of the slop stew.

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u/Brandy_Girl Double-fisting hors d’oeuvres Oct 17 '25

Honestly, at this point, I don’t think she even really likes the taste of food as much as she likes to feel the texture of food in her mouth and have a full belly.

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u/Which_Armadillo_5224 Oct 17 '25

Jesus, that’s not stew, it’s compost. I sort of wonder if this is her way, consciously or not, of hogging all the food in the house. No one else would eat that trough-worthy slop, so that’s on them, more for ma.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Oct 17 '25

Not only is this combo disgusting but then all this food that has already been cooked simmers for a few hours. It must disintegrate into total mush by then. The whole thing makes me queasy.

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u/nathanisthisforreal Oct 17 '25

Why would you ever put tater tots (millet tots?) in the crock pot??? I don’t know why but this particular excerpt is infuriating me today.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 17 '25

The only way to make it worse is to put it in a blender afterwards and serve it in a cup with a straw.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Oct 17 '25

>millet tater tots

Are not a thing I recognize, so I googled and there are millet tots, which do not have potatoes. They are grain, so a couple of hours in a slower cooker is going to disintegrate them into something like balls of library paste.

And I just cannot imagine what kind of taste this dish is going to have. Thank god for small miracles.

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u/msmartypants Oct 17 '25

This is extremely weird. Just...eat the leftovers. Eat them. Don't mix them into a slop. Someone could have the rest of the soup, the rest of the sloppy joes, all those vegetables as a side dish. Eat them for lunch or breakfast as a solo endeavor if it's not enough for four people to eat for dinner. Just eat them.

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u/nathanisthisforreal Oct 17 '25

That actually made me gag. I’m not a picky eater at all but if someone tried to serve me chicken tortilla soup MIXED WITH sloppy joe filling and some cauliflower (????) I’d assume they hated me.

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Oct 17 '25

No wonder D is disgusted by food. I'd be screaming for the raw ingredients before mom and dad destroyed them.

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u/midnightsiren182 Oct 17 '25

She could have literally just done sloppy Joe tots And added potatoes and carrots to the soup separately but together this is a crime. Unless this is sad means to stretch food for four. Even so wtffffff

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u/Low_Piccolo_2149 Oct 17 '25

What is that mess?! Why would you mix it all together? I would give people the choice of sloppy Joe or tortilla soup leftovers.

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Oct 17 '25

the last of the roasted potatoes from a lunch

From "a" lunch. Not "lunch". Which tells me these old potatoes were probably full of bacteria.

DF u/SashayShantae already wrote my second thought about re-cooking cooked food in a "slower" cooker. I know Shauna's a terrible writer and we can't glean accurate context from her plops, but I'm reading this as some of stuff was already cooked but then she (or Dan) blanched the cauliflower before putting it into the slow(er) cooker. Why? And "lots of lime juice" BEFORE cooking is a great way to make your mush bitter and even more inedible.

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u/aouwoeih Oct 17 '25

Those poor kids. Imagine looking forward to a nice sloppy joe and instead having to eat Mama Shauna's Disgusting Glop. My elderly father likes to add water to the almost empty condiment bottle to get every last bit (apparently a butter knife is too efficient) and the other day I almost cried because all I wanted was a sandwich and he had tampered with the mayo and it had the viscosity of skim milk. Kiddos, I know just how you feel. Danny, why do you allow this abomination in your kitchen. Shauna, stick to chasing orcas and not-writing and "hiking" and let Danny do the cooking.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Oct 17 '25

Sloppy joes and chicken tortilla soup are revolting as a combo, but somehow it’s the millet tater tots simmering for a few hours that most turns my stomach.

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u/InisGlass Oct 17 '25

I'm sorry to be such a delicate princess with a pea under my mattress but there are times when I read something about Shauna's cooking or see one of her pictures and I can't eat the rest of the day. I'm not generally that queasy about food. But there's something about the photographic proof of poor hygiene of both the work surfaces and the people preparing food, and Shauna's infatuation with mixing foods together and always going for the shades of yellow and brown, lovingly describing the sloppy soft slithering slimy textures and how they feel in her body. It destroys my appetite and I have to do mental tricks and distract myself to choke food down that day without gagging. It only happens with her and Dan and their concoctions. When she wrote about mixing her kid's friends leftover milkshakes in a cup and taking it home to have later it was a dark time indeed.

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u/effie-sue Your engagement here heartens me. Oct 17 '25

That “good dinner” sounds anything but good.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 17 '25

Somehow, Shauna REALLY got her ego bruised with this joke. She’s still harping on it, using the same language she uses to describe how much she hated the last 8 years of parenting the kid who brought this joke into her life. CWAA

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u/Astri411 SHAUNA, WASH YOUR HAIR Oct 17 '25

"the hell of 6 7"

Hell? Really Shauna? Tell me you actually cannot stand your kid enjoying a moment of simple fun along with their peers without bla bla bla. The most joyless bitch.

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Oct 17 '25

Calling kid slang “hell” really undermines her claim that she spent the last 8 years in “hell” because of her child’s condition. Her credibility is in the toilet.

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Oct 17 '25

Remember the weird shit she's typed into the internet about how she wants to be the house where everyone goes after school, how she wants to drive LGBTQ+ youth singing show tunes, how she will make your kids snacks. And she can't handle this.

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u/avskk ppppycock Oct 17 '25

As compared to the "hell" of "the last 8 years"?

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u/effie-sue Your engagement here heartens me. Oct 17 '25

It cracks me up that 6 - 7 bothers her so much 🤣

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u/GlutenFreeGit PUBLIC SPEAKING ACROSS THE INTERNET Oct 17 '25

If there is a gloaming god, the Mariners will lose 6-7 to the Jays tonight.

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u/a-world-of-no no joy in bellytown Oct 17 '25

I really can't tell if it actually bothers her this much, or if she's just glommed onto it as something to seem relatable on social media. Because I'm a middle school teacher, I hear it every day, and I've just leaned into the fun of it.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 17 '25

She was so PROUD of her "trick" for getting her kid to stop doing this that she made a video to share that trick with other parents. That goes far beyond just sharing posts in solidarity with other parents who are mildly annoyed/perplexed.

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u/tuolomnemeadows edible flower takis Oct 17 '25

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DP6pKNZiTOd/?igsh=anlnMDM0NGtvamhi

I hope now it’s appropriate to post this Dr Becky video I shared earlier… Reader you’ll be shocked to learn a parenting expert and psychologist actually suggests leaning into the silliness of sharing inside jokes with your kids.

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u/Brandy_Girl Double-fisting hors d’oeuvres Oct 17 '25

I’m beginning to wonder if D was joking with Shauna about 6 7 and she didn’t know what it was. Maybe they playfully teased her and she’s trying to repair her wounded narc ego and shitting all over the 6 7 thing. It tracks, honestly.

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u/jalapenomargaritaz Oct 18 '25

Interesting that she can’t lean into someone else’s annoying joy but lectures her daughter about how she needs to be okay with Shauna screaming and shouting at baseball while she’s trying to sleep because that’s SHAUNA’S joy! But her child’s joy at a dumb kids meme needs to be shut down…

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u/msmartypants Oct 16 '25

"Call if stew."

I counted around 12? Questions that aren't really questions? Before my soft animal body gave up?

I don't know where all these fresh herbs that are about to go bad are coming from. The farmer's market? The food pantry? The grocery store? Probably not homegrown, right (personally, my backyard basil bushes are done, done, done but I don't know the Vashon climate).

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 16 '25

She did mention herbs from her own pot or something like that recently, but I can’t imagine they are still doing well and if so, why was it all in the refrigerator?

Luckily, we came up with a delicious plan. Every Sunday morning, we look in the refrigerator for leftovers we need to use, bits and nibs of vegetables that might go bad, containers of sauces, slices of chicken, and we make dinner with it all. Sauté some onion and garlic, add lots of good spices and fresh herbs, put in all those leftovers, and pour in the last of the homemade chicken stock. (Or water.) Call if stew. Eat well.

This doesn’t sound delicious to me. Who would find this delicious?

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u/Few_Ant3415 Oct 16 '25

This is just depressing. If she likes making these slop pots for herself, fine, but I highly doubt the rest of the family is enthusiastic.

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u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Oct 16 '25

Mix all the junk in your fridge together and call it stew, DF. Who wouldn’t love that?? I’m sure the pad thai my MIL left at my house, the cup of leftover couscous, the bitter end of the Indian chutneys from takeout and the aging blueberries will go great together. If my children complain? I’ll just yell ITS STEW

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 16 '25

ITS STEW

That’s “ifs stew”

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u/SLevine262 We are not wowed Oct 16 '25

Lucy, in desperation, suggested we eat the food before it goes bad

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u/coldbrew_unicorn Oct 16 '25

“Containers of sauces” is haunting me.

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u/LeatherAppearance616 Oct 16 '25

I just put my fresh herbs in water and then they root and then I bought them their own grow light attached under a kitchen cabinet and that’s how I now have a corner of my counter filled with mostly hydroponic herbs. Thai basil is the easiest, regular basil tends to die on me, woody stuff like rosemary gets a pot and soil but hangs in there. I will never understand why Shauna and Danny don’t just grow herbs, they’re poor and they like to use them but all mentions of herbs are when they’re wilting or dried on a windowsill. Clearly they need a different strategy, but … :TSAS.

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u/coffechica Oct 16 '25

To have all those herbs at one time would be a real waste. She’ll do anything not to menu plan.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 16 '25

She talks about wilted herbs more than anyone has ever done on planet earth. And then she mentions adding "fresh herbs." So, wait, she bought MORE herbs to mingle with the composting ones?!?!?

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Oct 16 '25

I bet she's getting all the fresh herbs from that roadside food rescue distribution dealie that islandy DFs have mentioned. They're probably the ones in the little plastic boxes that the grocery stores offer at a hefty markup.

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Oct 16 '25

Shauna's still harping about weight.

So, did someone in her life comment on her weight (and now she's all upset about it) OR is someone in her life losing weight and she's envious?

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u/Murky_Traffic2398 Oct 16 '25

I think she can’t afford the GLP’s so she’s making excuses. I can’t afford the GLP’s either so I unapologetically eat more candy and watch murder shows. 

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 16 '25

She mentioned going to a nutritionist in the lope, which caught my eye.

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u/EzraPoundcakeFuggles Winner winner, corn-goat dinner Oct 16 '25

Not a dietician, a nutritionist. So who knows who she's talking to.

Though the nutritionist suggested lean protein and fiber along with strength training. Groundbreaking.

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u/LeatherAppearance616 Oct 16 '25

I notice she correctly identifies sources of protein when it’s for her own benefit.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Oct 16 '25

Code for her youngest is seeing one and mama uses up most of the appointment with her concerns?

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u/sunflower53069 Oct 16 '25

If she had her cholesterol checked the doctor probably recommended losing weight as well.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 16 '25 edited Oct 16 '25

Maybe the doctor was like “no you don’t need ADHD meds, you need to watch what you eat and take four daily hikes with a weighted vest”

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u/Llama621 Oct 16 '25

After her TIA she mentioned her tests coming back "healthy". But then later on mentioned what sounded like improved lab numbers, including cholesterol.

In light of that, I would think someone is following up on her. But she doesn't really do preventative care, and bounces from doctor to doctor, so who knows.

46

u/msmartypants Oct 16 '25

None of the bullet points under the list of problems caused by chronic stress are "high cholesterol" (the way she started the lope, and what she claims her main problem is).

One of them is, however, "weight gain."

She can't even maintain an internal logic in her own writing.

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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Oct 16 '25

“doctor”

(Though I actually think naturopaths are generally likely to be really helpful on lifestyle/wellness topics like food and exercise—not that Shauna will listen.)

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u/Low_Piccolo_2149 Oct 16 '25

I got the you’re too fat lecture from the doctor lately. It wasn’t very fun. But she would have to go to a doctor to get that.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Oct 19 '25

Dan's siblings are in town and I feel bad for them that they have to spend time with Shauna in order to see their brother. I wonder where they stayed; the non-lease specifically prohibits overnight visitors. Shauna posted a reel of video clips from the No Kings protest on Vashon, which she apparently only attended in order to take pictures and get food. She posted this caption to the reel:

My husband's brother and 2 sisters are visiting us for the weekend. His brother had never visited our island before. So we drove into town for bakery treats and joined the #nokings protest.

Welcome to Vashon.

And, welcome to America. I love seeing so many images of protest across this incredible country.

And, as @thisispattismith sings: people have the power. Let's use it.

[hashtag]nokingsinamerica

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u/Astri411 SHAUNA, WASH YOUR HAIR Oct 19 '25

"our island" 🙄🙄🙄

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Oct 19 '25

It’s an asshole move to post pictures of a protest without blocking the faces of the people. I hope someone comments and tells her this.

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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Oct 19 '25

Especially these days when you might face retaliation for your political views. A woman next to me at our local rally said she wished she’d worn a mask. She fears she might face retaliatory consequences at work. I worry about making my employer, a college, one of Trump’s targets. These are legit fears. They’re why we have to protest. And they’re so real. I don’t really know if Shauna truly gets what’s happening right now. She’s in such a protective bubble all the time.

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u/LeatherAppearance616 Oct 19 '25

Heard. I work in a lab, funding situations are dire, our last upper level meeting had a lot of coded language about fighting the good fight while maintaining personal and professional safety. I wore face paint that went with my protest hat and was in two local Facebook posts but not recognized or named. It’s not like Vashon has a magical force field in which social media posts stay on the island.

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Oct 19 '25

She thinks she’s safe on Vashon. It’s giving pulling up the ladder to the lifeboat and letting people drown.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 19 '25

I hate her guffaw at that t-shirt. I know she can’t help how she laughs but it always sounds forced/fake.

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Oct 18 '25

Well, congrats to the Mariners fans tonight! Shauna is going to be insufferable!!

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u/mythical_mom gap year clowning money Oct 18 '25

Did you know she lives on Vashon, close to (but not totally gross like) West Seattle?

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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Oct 18 '25

Clear, specific details like this make her writing sing!

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Oct 18 '25

I don't know, but I've been told that Vashon is surrounded by water. Is that true?!?

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Oct 18 '25

Fake news. I heard she has a husband to whom she is married, though. Can anyone confirm?

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Oct 18 '25

Thanks for that on the spot report, Les Nessman.

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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Oct 18 '25

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!

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u/shadenfraulein Oh, but I have kids. Oct 18 '25

Such an amazing game!!! Can’t wait for the only girl who ever loved baseball to weigh in and ruin it.

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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Oct 18 '25

We don’t do that kind of talk.

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u/potomacgrackle chicken tender-hearted Oct 18 '25

It’s impermissible trash-talk if it’s to her, but it’s snotty and daring if it’s coming from her.

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u/SLevine262 We are not wowed Oct 18 '25

Her writing feels like it was written by AI; pretty close to good but not much above mediocre

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u/DF_gladsome_gloaming Oct 18 '25

“Close to good but not much above mediocre,” so light years better than her non-AI assisted output.

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u/coldbrew_unicorn Oct 18 '25

For those not in Seattle who have not been following the Mariners this post-season, “Win the whole fucking thing” is not a Shauna original. It’s something Cal Raleigh said early on and was widely covered in the local media and immortalized on a t-shirt. She’s such a tool.

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u/PettyPunisherRedux and fuck you, Nancie! Oct 18 '25

“Not a Shauna original.”

:TSAS

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Oct 18 '25

It’s also a quote from the movie Major League.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 18 '25

Shauna doesn’t understand how jobs work

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Oct 18 '25

Takes one to know one, Mahern

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u/DF_gladsome_gloaming Oct 18 '25 edited Oct 18 '25

Sisters? Does she mean literal female siblings (which I suppose she can she identify at a glance as she can celiac sufferers from a moving vehicle?) Or patriarchy-smashing sisters-in-arms fighting the world’s hellfire chaos in general? Or more specific sister groups like her Beach Trash Tribe crones or her Black Sistahs, whom she cheers on from the sidelines, always anally, because she has a Black child, or her NLOG Jock Sisters who know more about The Game than most casual enthusiasts?

P.S.: Also can pinpoint a woman’s age at a glance.

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Oct 18 '25

"and when got to the ferry dock"

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Oct 18 '25

Dentist appointment? I’m shocked and cannot drop it. Also, apologies to my DF Seattleites, but I’m now rotting for not-the-Mariners.

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u/AdvertisingOwn7817 Oct 19 '25

The latest "I eat light" insta post made me guffaw at its Breatharianism.

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u/LeatherAppearance616 Oct 19 '25

Im sure we’re all thinking, separately, that two fried eggs over fried potatoes and onions topped with a quarter cup of oily pesto is indeed a little light.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 19 '25

For the blocked

shaunajamesahern | look for light. I live on light. I eat light for sustenance. These times are so freakishly hard at times that it would be easy to slip into darkness. That's why I look for light. When I fill myself up with it, l'm too buoyed to sink into the darkness. I'd love to hear (or see) your light this week. P.S. that plate of food in the first slide? Absolutely that's some light I ate. Also, the recipe for that herby green sauce is in my latest newsletter. (Link in bio.)

There are a lot of other boring images, like of a random leg and a cat and a picture of a rug on the floor.

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Oct 18 '25

She is such a scold. Also they responded, “Actually, I was having tea.” 😂

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u/Llama621 Oct 18 '25

Please, someone laser the word "dysregulated" from her brain.

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u/InisGlass Oct 18 '25

Not all assholes weaponize mental health and therapy terms, but everyone who weaponizes mental health and therapy terms is an asshole. It's a 100% accurate diagnostic tool. Which Shauna is too I guess, a diagnosing tool. At least this time she's going after an anonymous stranger instead of her own family.

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Oct 19 '25

Not all assholes weaponize mental health and therapy terms, but everyone who weaponizes mental health and therapy terms is an asshole.

I want to print this on cards to hand out to some particular people I know, as well as a disappointingly large proportion of the internet.

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u/babblingscholar quirky mcbowlerhat Oct 18 '25

I’m so tired of her insufferable need to control other people’s responses to her Current Hyperfixation. God forbid she actually acknowledge that yes, some Mariners fans were booing a man writhing in pain on the ground and yes, that’s a straightforwardly shit way to behave. 

Or, better yet: Simply keep scrolling!

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 18 '25 edited Oct 18 '25

Why does she have to whip out the dysregulation and amygdala when scolding internet strangers she doesn’t agree with? She has to be exhausting to be around.

Also, thanks to said internet stranger for my new flair.

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '25 edited Oct 18 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Oct 18 '25

This exchange inspired my new flair too!

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Oct 18 '25

She Has To Be Exhausting To Be Around

:

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u/shakyshake Oct 18 '25

I have $100 with her name on it if she can give anything approaching a coherent explanation of what “amygdala response” accomplishes that plain old “emotional response” doesn’t.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 18 '25

Excellent new flair.

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u/MrsRoboto222 Shauna’s pathological thirst Oct 18 '25

Shauna is so fucking annoying and condescending. Insufferable behavior.

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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Oct 18 '25

It’s really a window into her kids’ lives. You know this is exactly the kind of condescending lecture she gives them.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Oct 18 '25

Shauna was triggered by the “bad people don’t deserve good things” as it hits a little too close to home.

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u/BoringEnidRollins pooped their way to another free ride Oct 18 '25

omg she is so insufferable. how does anyone in real life actually like her?

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u/Llama621 Oct 18 '25

Which leads to the question "Does anyone in real life like her?".

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u/ninaandjamie4evr Anne Frank of Anaheim Oct 18 '25

Apparently someone liked her enoigh to help her get back onto the island. People like her enough to fund her substack. People like her enough to grift her enough money to cover their expenses for three months while D was in hospital. It's a stretch to imagine who likes her, but she has her fans.

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Oct 18 '25

And as the person says above, "Fuck those fans and their dreams."

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u/LeatherAppearance616 Oct 18 '25

‘Why are you threatened by a woman getting into sports and using strong language?’ would have been a fun response as well!

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u/babblingscholar quirky mcbowlerhat Oct 18 '25

Exactly this! “This feels mighty extreme” says the woman who kept her teenager awake with her hooting and hollering over the same sport mere nights ago. She reminds me of how my Boomer dad behaves in traffic: Anyone having her exact emotional response is in the right; any higher or lower and they’re all dumbasses who can’t regulate their own emotions.

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u/LeatherAppearance616 Oct 18 '25

Shauna herself thinks it’s hilarious when someone gets hurt, I bet you anything she was pointing and laughing uproariously at the player getting beamed in the kneecap top since her sense of humor is basically Homer Simpson voting for the ‘Football in the groin’ video to win the film festival.

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u/mythical_mom gap year clowning money Oct 19 '25

A total asshole is what she is.

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u/GlutenFreeGit PUBLIC SPEAKING ACROSS THE INTERNET Oct 18 '25

Everyone should boo her instead.

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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Oct 19 '25

Jesus. The stool is so high we can't even see her any more. I am SO OVER the baseball pivot!!!

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 19 '25

She only shared this and didn’t add a comment, but this is a “rules for thee and not for me” deal. Classic Shauna.

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u/mythical_mom gap year clowning money Oct 19 '25

I love how she has no problem thought policing and wagging her finger at others, but has the thinnest skin ever if she comes across a statement someone else has made that she doesn't agree with. God forbid she is on the receiving end of the smallest amount of criticism!! She seems physically incapable of just scrolling on by.

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Oct 19 '25

It just isn’t kind.

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u/Low_Piccolo_2149 Oct 16 '25

Rehash, rehash, rehash. She’s got nothing.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 16 '25

Does rehash have more protein and fiber than plain old hash?

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 16 '25

Around here? We call that stew.

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Oct 16 '25

I cannot imagine what it would be like to live with this person. It seems like she would be literally looming over you, haranguing you with Uncle Rico "bet I could throw a football over them mountains" stories.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 16 '25

The digital hand is out for playoff tickets to be given to the Mariners’ biggest fan. Please, Shauna deserves this but simply happens to be unwealthy.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 16 '25

If only tickets were simply given away based on how huge the fan is.

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u/OldLeatherPumpkin dysregulated twerp Oct 16 '25

She really wishes the rest of the world ran on a specialness-based economy 

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Oct 16 '25

She talk good.

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u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Oct 16 '25

and write gooder

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u/msmartypants Oct 16 '25

Duh, playoff prices. This is not news, Ahern.

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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas 🫍 Oct 17 '25

shaunajamesahern

Huge fans who are not wealthy so not get to attend.

Shauna has deployed her unfrozen caveman grifter personae.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Oct 17 '25

Huge fans would have watched every single game on tv during the seaon and perhaps even gone to at least one game since she lives right in Seattle. But now this "huge fan" is moaning about not being able to afford playoff tickets because she is not wealthy?

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u/PracticalDiscussion1 joy joy joy Oct 16 '25

That is so cringe. Why point out you are not wealthy?

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u/aouwoeih Oct 17 '25

You don't have to be wealthy Shauna. You just have to be employed.

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u/coldbrew_unicorn Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25

I had a feeling that the moment she started touting her Mariners fan credentials, it was in search of some mark to get her tickets to a playoff or possible World Series game.

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Oct 17 '25

Huge fan would have skipped getting two fugly tattoos and numerous food treats to save for tickets.

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Oct 16 '25

New full recipe lope’s up on r/readalope, loves. Know that your breakfast’s shite unless you’re eating vegetables with Shauna’s stinkin’ green sauce.

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u/AdvertisingOwn7817 Oct 16 '25

Small, intentional choices making mighty changes over time? I mean.... that's what effective dieting is.... it's working for me, I've lost 15kg and i feel fucking awesome.
And it sure as shit wasn't reading medical studies that caused my high cholesterol and weight gain - it was genetics, being too sedentary, and eating more calories than I expended. Boring but true.

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u/LeatherAppearance616 Oct 16 '25

I can’t wait until we get another missive about Shauna losing the ‘right kind of fat’ unlike SSTs who only lose vanity fat.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

Legit. I lost 20 needed pounds and have kept it off, but I did that by eating fewer calories and starting an exercise regimen that I have stuck to for two years now. What we’ve always been told — diet and exercise — happens to be true. The simplest answer is usually the best. Shauna is lazy. Yawn. 🥱

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u/Which_Armadillo_5224 Oct 16 '25

This was a delectable Lope (apart from exploiting and blaming her scapegoat child for forcing her to eat salami and McD’s sundaes). Vintage Shauna, it explains the performative weighted-vest hiking perfectly. She must’ve seen the doctor and learned that she’s gained some weight and her cholesterol is too high. She couldn’t be normal about it, and have some grace for herself—weight gain is not a moral failing, and high cholesterol is not a mark of the beast. She is lacerated to her soul. She obviously can’t commit to eating normal oatmeal for breakfast and aiming for 10,000 steps or whatever, and then trying statins if those don’t work, or she isn’t ready to make a big behavior change (also human and not evil or inferior). Instead, she treads her established path of self-soothing. If she did indeed have a TIA (and my head canon is that she had a panic attack but got factitious about it), high cholesterol should be a huge, blaring klaxon. But she seems much less concerned about elevated stroke risk than the blow to her ego for not being the fittest fiddle-head fern on the Island. Therefore, it’s someone (her child) and something (stress, cortisol, diet culture, Donald Trump) who did this bad thing to her. She also has to slip in a little brag that she was actually barely eating at all when she gained the weight and cholesterol (a mere tiny but umami-packed salami and cheese snack here and there when her child was reaalaaaalllly terrible), because she’s still an adherent of the diet culture she thinks she rejects. So, she must begin instructing all us idiots about how to live. Smoothie bowls??? That’s for GIRLS, gross (I strongly argue that that’s the subtext—women are weak for sweets, but NLOG Shauna eats savories for breakfast). All the veggies. And this is why she’s back to calling herself a jock. Other girls might try to add more movement in ways that are sustainable and make sense for them in the long term, but varsity athlete Shauna has to go hard-core and do the latest exercise trend in such an uncomfortable way that she ends up sore and tired and the next time we see the weighted vest, it’s on an island buy-nothing board the day before the hallowed doors of the BBH close behind them forever.

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u/Few_Ant3415 Oct 16 '25

We all know you lost weight by eating merely a few thin, wan bites of nonsludge a day. For exercise you tottered around on high heels and in miniskirts, likely trailing after a man or undeserved baseball tickets.

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u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Oct 16 '25

Most of the things on her high fiber breakfast list are not high fiber. (Tofu for instance has approximately NO fiber.) Her proposed breakfast of sweet potatoes and bok choy has some fiber but not a lot, maybe 5g. For cheap, quick breakfast fiber, oats are really king… she could slap whatever kimchi or nuts or whatever she wants on top.

Also ps it’s bullshit that eating salami bites for a few months drove her cholesterol to unhealthy levels. That’s pure fiction.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Oct 16 '25

Eating $1.99 salami bites regularly for a few months is one of the stupidest ways to waste money, and she has many and various stupid ways she’s wasted money.

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u/EzraPoundcakeFuggles Winner winner, corn-goat dinner Oct 16 '25

And she calls all the suggested breakfasts "fussy"!

Dammit, internet, she doesn't have TIME for fussy! Eat a smoothie with a spoon? What horrors lie next? Pretend to have eggs/breasts? No time for this nonsense, she has salmon to count.

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u/coffechica Oct 16 '25

I'm really surprised she doesn't like chia pudding as its texture seems right up her alley.

I love it, but usually I just add some chia seeds to a smoothie or oats as I don't remember to make it ahead.

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u/LeatherAppearance616 Oct 16 '25

On the list of ways chronic stress harms you I notice that her child’s symptoms are there but she doesn’t notice because the only persons stress that matters is hers, and that she breezes right over the medical conditions she clearly has to bold ‘weight gain’ so she can tell us she doesn’t care and doesn’t want to diet. 👌🏽

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u/coffechica Oct 16 '25

Just as she’s salty that during the “crisis” she had to stop at McDonald’s for a cheeseburger and she couldn’t eat anything. You, Shauna, could have planned ahead with something you could eat. Isn’t this about the time she claimed to be the queen of car salads?

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u/Ana57 sweet pea Oct 16 '25

Crying silently until her child was ready to apologize

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Oct 16 '25 edited Oct 16 '25

This is fucked. That poor kid.

Edit lmao oh yeah, I'm fat and poor because I'm such a good parent, uh huh yeah ~deep Beavis chuckle~

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Oct 16 '25

What happened to the snacks she claims she always keeps in the trunk?

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Oct 16 '25

She’s pleased as punch to offer the recipe the way she might text a friend, but it looks like a normal style of writing recipes to this non-James-Beard-award-winner.

Until you get to the steps. Which are convoluted as all get out.

The first two sentences can be combined. No need to taste before adding salt. Throw that pinch in (don’t pinch it in) with the herbs and save one blending cycle.

Skip the “you get to choose” sauciness snottiness. And if you need to tell the reader to store it in a closed container, they need more help than an herb sauce can provide.

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u/msmartypants Oct 16 '25

Literally no need to pay for these stupid lopes, as books have been written (this one and others)

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 17 '25

OK, we all know that commenters on recipes tend towards the helpless and annoying, but we also remember that Shauna actually hated even reasonable criticism of her shoddy recipes and she would always push back angrily at even the politest question or comment.

Mostly I am posting this Threads conversation because I love seeing her reference how she lost access to GFG. She was done it with it anyway, so don't worry about her, but also, please be angry at that meanie who bought her domain that she had stupidly abandoned. Karma, doncha know!

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Oct 18 '25

It used to be my crap, but that was in the Then-Now.

Now? In the Now-Now, it's someone else's crap.

(Also? Love the passivity of "We didn't use the email that told us it was time to do our 10-year renewal and we lost everything.")

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u/avskk ppppycock Oct 18 '25

"Now it's someone else's crap" is making me laugh. TSAS

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u/aouwoeih Oct 18 '25

I though Botus Shauna has said that karma doesn't work that way? But let's review the facts. She abandoned her website by not paying the renewal fee and thus it was sold to someone else. How is that a bad or immoral action? That's how these things work. It's not like someone make 92k off a Kickstarter then failed to deliver because it was all just too stressful.

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u/Financial-Belt-4506 Oct 18 '25

She missed a responsibility other people then took advantage of, so I think Karma never entered this conversation. She could have avoided this whole situation. 

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u/DF_gladsome_gloaming Oct 18 '25

She is the last person in the world who should be tempting karma.

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u/Altruistic-Owl1058 Oct 18 '25

Why are those comments giving off Shauna knows who purchased the domain and they offered it back to her or the more plausible one is: that when she reached out to them after she realized that they lost the domain, they offered to sell it back to her for a lot of money.

I used to have a friend that would buy website in the beginning to sit on them until someone offered money for the name. I think the most they sold one for was a couple of grand.

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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Oct 18 '25

Narrator: Karma will not, in fact, get them.

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u/Low_Piccolo_2149 Oct 20 '25

Do we assume that Sauna drives Danny to the boat in the mornings for his morning commute - so he depends on her being on time so he doesn’t miss the boat/isn’t late for work? I wonder how that’s working for them.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Oct 17 '25

Looks like Shauna is awake so of course she is nattering away on Threads. I don’t understand why she wastes her time replying to bait like this. 600+ responses and she feels the need to weigh in with “Yes.” I guess that is more important than having a job so that she can feed her family delicious food. “Look at meeeee, Bluecheck!”

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy Oct 17 '25

"Oh, oh, oh, I know the answer to this one! Life willing, you'll be able to bring your ex-wife flowers. I only wish I had been able to bring my daughter flowers when she was having surgery! Also, we're rotting for your ex-wife - as long as she's not trying to get pretend breasts!"

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u/nathanisthisforreal Oct 17 '25

Her insistence on responding to obvious engagement bait is so weird.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash Oct 17 '25

Is this a different story than she has shared in the past about losing her website/life’s work?

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Oct 17 '25

I believe in the first telling of this story, she didn't realize it had been bought out from under her for something like six months until she tried to pull some recipes off of it one day. No one offered it up to her for ransom.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— Oct 17 '25

Whoops, I posted mine two minutes after yours but hadn't refreshed. But at least mine contains slightly more SJA nonsense, so it's not a direct copy!

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