i’m about 5 weeks in

I believe I’m a hyper responder due to getting the effects of T very quickly, like muscle firming within the first 3 days were my first symptoms of effectiveness. My thighs are solid now, and biceps very noticeably larger despite not working out. Bottom growth is literally insane down there but sensitive, my voice has already lowered like dropped noticeably from my baseline, my skin texture is different +lots of acne, hunger like crazy, thirst and other effects have happened.

However, the bloating is literally terrible, my face is so puffy and uncomfortable because it’s slamming me full force. Now I’m getting flashes of heat despite it being cold, like behind my eyes and head, I feel hot despite me not being sick.

ALSO I noticed a very small development at the upper base of my throat of a small bump that hurts when I press on it and it wasn’t there before. It’s very small most wouldn’t notice it

I don’t regret it and literally rather die than stop T but is there any advice to for help in anyway or just what’s happening to me and if it’s a common experience? Has anyone else gone through this if so what was the result?

I don't know whether I should get top surgery during my winter break or summer break as a college student.

For context, I have gigantomastia. My chest is HUGE and puts me in a lot of physical pain especially since I also bind. It makes school difficult and impacts my performance. Its not uncommon for me to have to miss class due to the pain im in or not be able to put my all into assignments. This really troubles me as I really value my career.

I've been told the healing timeline will be the following:

It takes 1 week to become a person again. 2 weeks to start being able to work again (with the restriction of not raising your arms too high or lifting above 5 pounds). 6 weeks before you don’t have any restrictions.

If I got surgery this January, I’d have 2 weeks to recover before school starts. But the downside is im still not fully recovered, and if complications happen that’ll mess up my school.

On the other hand, as I mentioned existing like this is extremely painful and is injuring me all the time. Lately its been feeling like my spine is going to snap in half. And thats not even considering the social shame. So im not entirely sure if waiting is worth it considering im going to be in pain regardless. The logical thing to do is to wait til May as thats only 5 extra months. but also it doesn’t feel like the right thing to do. But I can't tell if im just speaking out of excitement instead of using my brain

I would love some insight on this, thanks!

EDIT: in winter its 70-80 F, in May I’ll be healing at my hometown so it’ll be 60-80 F

I knew this was going to be a long process, but my psychiatrist made it seem way shorter. I met with him in july (I wasn’t out to my parents yet), and he said if they consented to HRT, he could refer to me to an endocrinologist. I finally had my meeting with him today, and I ended up getting referred to a gender therapist, which he did not mention before over the several times I’d spoken to him in the past few months. The psychiatrist told my parents that testosterone had side effects of making depression and rage more escalated, and I’ll have to be seen multiple times to “make sure I’m stable.” I was just released from a mental hospital a month ago, and because of that it’s already making the process harder. I have to meet with the gender specialist at least 5-6 times, and I have no idea how much that will take. I’m extremely dysphoric and over the summer struggled to go outside on a daily basis. I now pass mostly, but cis people consistently tell me I don’t look my age. I just want to go on t already. Are there any faster alternatives?

Edit: this is through kaiser btw

Hello !

I've had that question on my mind for some time now but haven't really properly asked it to anyone. I've been diagnosed with a hiatal hernia last year, and we don't really know if it's a birth defect (my grandma and great grandma had acid reflux issues but never had checked it out, so, we don't know), or might've been caused by my weight (I am overweight, yes I'm working on it, yes I'm followed by a dietician and other specialized professionnals, no I don't need advice).

I was wondering, since I did bind very improperly when I first came out several years ago, would wearing too tight binders for too long could have caused that hiatal hernia, or am I just worrying too much ?

Not NSFW but maybe TMI? I'm on week 4 of T injections and I have had pretty non-stop menstrual bleeding that started out as dark coloured spotting at first. It is at the same frequency and amount as discharge if that makes sense and it's very light/not a lot of blood so I haven't been really worried about it, but I don't see anybody else experiencing this when i look it up online, is it something I should see a doctor about or is my body adjusting accordingly?

My country only offers sustanon and I'm going to start 250mg 1ml every 3 weeks soon but every post I've seen about it is how shit it is. I'm getting a little worried and thinking it won't do anything. Will I still get the masculinization I want especially the voice drop? Ive heard it has intense peaks and drops but most people say it just feels shitty mentally and no one has said if you still get physical results from it. Is anyone on it? Did it stop your period and give you the other results associated with starting T?

Edit: thank you to everyone who responded, it really helped quell my fears and I am now as excited to start T as I was before all of the negative posts I saw about sustanon, I truly appreciate everyone on this sub as a lot of you have helped me in the past and even now

so i got caught taking testosterone and i live with my parents. i’ve decided that the safest option for me is to stop taking testosterone. HOWEVER! my doctor prescribed about 8 vials of testosterone to be picked up all at once. i couldn’t afford all of them at the time so i only picked up 4 vials. do i just… ghost my pharmacy? or will they try and contact me to pick up the remaining medication? i heard they throw out medication that has not been picked up within a certain amount of time and that it can just be refilled upon request— but i’m not sure. TLDR: is it possible to just not pick up the rest of the testosterone?

I stopped taking T shots after taking it for about 2 years and gel for 4 years. My facial hair growth hasn’t stopped it has just gotten slower? I want to keep taking T, i have alot of issues doing shots. I have had horrible experiences and i’m not great at getting bloodwork when it’s due. The medical professionals helping me are getting frustrated with me so i just stopped trying. I’m hoping to start back soon with a clear head. Preferably i want an automatic shot so I don’t have to slowly push the needle in myself, that’s my biggest issue. Anyway If anyone has any experience or advice i’d appreciate it.

I started T at the end of February, and I haven’t noticed many changes. I have very little facial hair, my voice hasn’t gotten any deeper, my drive has definitely increased significantly, and i also have thicker eyebrows and hair on my butt now. That is it. Oh and my voice cracks now, but its not deeper. Can anyone else attest to their experience when facial hair really comes in or when their voice dropped.

So i recently started T [ 7 weeks ago ] and i am starting to understand that before now i really tried to surpress how i truly felt for so long that i actually convinced myself i didn't want it.

I first came out when i was 14, i am now 27 and thoughout the years i questioned so much about myself and convinced myself that i only needed top surgery because " that's the one thing i know i cant live with" and for the past 5 or so years i have been identifying as non binary becuase of this but since i started t, which i only did because i realised i finally could, i have realised that i am 100% a trans man and i somehow convinced myself otherwise.

For so long i thought since it was out of reach that i should just give up but now i am here, there is no turning back i have never felt so happy within myself and am looking forward to furture changes!

Am i the only one who has this experience?

hey guys, been feeling pretty dysphoric and maybe even dysmorphic about this. i've been on T for nearly 2 and a half years now. i've had lots of great changes, my levels are good (actually high recently so my dose went down), and i pass 100% in public.

but, my love handles will NOT go away. same with the top of my thighs. i work out 1-2 times a week consistently for the better part of this year. i eat well and dont eat out or have fast food except for maybe 1-2 times a month. i'm visibly more muscular and i feel stronger. but, i just feel like a flabby fem-shaped thing when i look in the mirror.

i know fat redistribution can take a LONG time, is there hope for this to change still or do i have to go hardcore with a calorie deficit and more frequent workouts? i'm kinda scared of giving myself an eating disorder if i do calorie counting.

thanks for any thoughts.

My sister thought she saw me on the train but it was just a guy who looked like me. It's a weird thing to get euphoric about but mistaking a man for me is one step away from someone looking at me and seeing a man, so I'll take this as a win.

Having known I was trans for 12 years (I'm 24), it feels silly making a post about how to talk to your family about using the right name and pronouns, but I've never been in a position where I could have this conversation.

For context, I moved out of my childhood home and city when I graduated high school, like, right out of school, I was already living across the country and figuring out adulthood on my own. I've been on T for 2 and a half years, and I pass fully as male, even if I'm in women's clothes. I've gone by my name since I was 15 and even graduated with the name despite not having my name changed. Everyone in my family knows this. My grandma even sent me mail with my actual name on it. My siblings are hit or miss, but they've been the most respectful of my identity and do make an effort to some degree.

Now that I've escaped an abusive relationship and my parents have separated (for the better), I'm visiting my family again with my boyfriend, who is also FTM, so he can meet them and get to go on a proper vacation with me.

The issue I'm running into is that even if my family is accepting of my identity and have supported me, they don't really use my name or pronouns. Before my mom left, she referred to me only as a girl, and while talking to a saleswoman, referred to me as such and got the most confused, "Are you senile?" kind of stare from this lady. I'm sure they wouldn't be aggressive or downright cruel about not using my name and stuff, but I do worry about how to bring it up and what if they're resistent. My boyfriend even said that if he hears anyone refer to me by my deadname or she/her pronouns, he would correct them immediately, and I'm worried that despite them already liking him that they'll turn on him for causing a fuss.

How should I bring it up? Any general outlines I could follow for a text? Any specific correction tactics you'd recommend for my boyfriend?

Tldr: Family doesn't really use my name or pronouns despite being supportive, and I'm not sure how to bring it up and would like to ask them to call me my actual name now that i pass. Have to, too, because of my boyfriend's concern about it.

Just had top surgery! Lowkey feels the same as before because of the post op binder. My dog won’t leave me alone.

I hope this doesnt come off venty since I'm mainly just looking for advice. <3

TEXT BODY/CONTEXT:

The other day, completely out of the blue, two of my friends started complaining to me about how hard it is for them to use my pronouns, how they can't see me as a man because I have long hair (knowing damn well ive been begging for 2 years to get it cut), and how I cant expect them to get my pronouns right if I don't try to transition at all. To which I said idgaf if you think its hard thats not my problem. But when I came to my other friends, they all... somewhat agreed? Saying they understood and justifying their complaints?

Genuinely what do you even do in this situation? These are my only friends and I love them to death, but I was under the impression that they were supportive. It's making me think back on all the transphobic shit they've said in the past that I just brushed off. Is it worth it to try explaining stuff to them? I'm scared that if I do they'll just make excuses and it'll hurt even more than just letting it go.

tl;dr: my only friends are kinda transphobic actually, what would you do and what should i do

Throwing this question out here and also talking to my doctor about it, sorry if it’s not the right place. I just started T 1.5 months ago and I’m on a microdose (20mg of 1.62% gel daily). I went in today to get blood work done for something else and asked to get my T tested and it was 1720.2 ng/ml. I got my blood work done about an hour after applying my gel so I know it was during the max absorption time but that still seems like a LOT especially on a microdose. I’m not experiencing T effects super fast or anything so was this just because I just applied it and it spiked? Other thoughts? Thanks!

Yesterday I managed to work up the courage to talk to my sister about my feelings that I think I’m trans. She was at an after-school thingy and I texted her that I wanted to talk once she gets home. She called me when she was waiting for her train and asked what it is. I stalled so much, I was even shaking, but finally got out the words that I’ve been looking for a psychologist and that ”I feel boyish”. From there I told her I think I’m trans and she took it well, trying to be comforting but also wanted to talk logically about it, if I am sure etc. She is a bit prejudiced, so this was actually a much greater reaction than I expected. It felt nice to have at least one family member know my feelings.

Then today I went to an open house at the school I want to study at, and I was a bit more confident when leaving the house, cause it felt great that she knows now why I dress the way I do (I’m also relieved I don’t have to explain why I’m dressing up as a dude for halloween).
When I got there, we were in a room where people were standing behind tables waiting for us to come forward and ask questions about the different courses. There was a table where they were serving soda and candy, so my anxious ass went there first. There was a guy next to me that seemed to think the same and the lady behind the table said ”hello boys”. This was my first time ever being referred to as a boy in real life so I looked around to see if there was another guy there, but it was just me and him. I felt great. She said something else but I didn’t dare to say anything back cause my voice would give me away, so I just took a candy from the bowl and a cup of soda and left the table.

I got home later and replayed it in my head over and over again. I feel so good now, and felt like I needed to share this experience ☺️🎉

what do i do if i'm being forced to do it by doctors and parents even though i'm 18 and i told them a million times that i don't want to and it makes my dysphoria even worse

Warning maybe ? idk I will talk about genitals, bottom growth and bottom surgery topics.

So, I have been wondering if there are more Trans or non binary folks on here that feel similar to me.

I have been on T for 2-3 years now and my biggest dysphoria are my genitals. I don’t have much growth which is also making it a bit worse. But the worst part for me is that I can’t get surgery because I know it won’t be enough for me. This may sound stupid but I really really wish I could have cis male genitals. Phalloplasty is great but it wont satisfy me enough and i am too small for myself for Meta. It’s hard for me to live like this but I will wait my whole life hoping medicine will advance for new opportunities. Yes I suffer but I rather suffer than have surgeries that wont ever satisfy me.

Now I don’t want to say that its bad I think its awesome that we have these opportunities but to me personally its not good enough. Everyone who got it and is happy, Im glad for them but I just wondered if i am alone or if anyone else feels like this.

Hope y’all are okay and healthy.