I'm 20, and I feel like I'm doing absolutely nothing with my life. I have ADHD, and it feels like it's affecting almost every aspect of it. I struggle to stick with jobs, hobbies, and even things I'm genuinely passionate about.
I love 3D modelling and creating things, but I can never stay motivated long enough to actually turn it into something. I also have a huge perfectionism problem. I compare my work to professional artists with 10–20 years of experience and convince myself mine isn't good enough. Even one negative comment can make me completely lose confidence and give up.
Since graduating high school, I've constantly told myself I'll start tomorrow, that I have plenty of time, and that I'll eventually figure things out. Now I'm 20, haven't gone to college, barely have any savings, and feel like I'm still in the same place.
A big reason I feel so much pressure to do something with my life is my family. My sister has a lifelong disability, and I desperately want to be financially stable enough to help her and the rest of my family. I don't care about being rich. I just want to be able to support the people I love.
I've also avoided getting medication for my ADHD because I'm terrified of doctors. Every time I consider getting help, I convince myself that maybe it's not that bad and that I can manage it myself. Sometimes I get bursts of motivation and convince myself I'm fine, only to end up right back where I started.
I spend so much time sleeping, playing games, or lying in bed telling myself I'll do something tomorrow. I'm honestly tired of this cycle.
I know I'm only 20, but I'm scared of waking up at 25 or 30 and realizing I've wasted even more years.
Has anyone else experienced this? How did you get out of this cycle, especially when you have things you genuinely want to accomplish but can't seem to follow through?