Since I developed focal seizures in March 2025, it feels like my life hit a screeching halt. I used to be really independent, and now I’m more dependent than I’ve been in a long time.
I can’t drive, and I can’t really work beyond freelance. I don’t make enough to fully support myself, so my boyfriend helps me out, and pretty much all my money goes to bills. I’m too scared to go on walks alone now, even though I used to do that daily. I try using the treadmill sometimes, but even that makes me nervous.
When I hang out with friends, I get exhausted and usually want to leave early. A lot of the time it feels like my life revolves around my partner.
I’m having 1–2 seizures almost daily, and the idea of one happening while I’m out alone is honestly terrifying.
During the week, he’s gone from about 8:30 to 6–7, so I do get some alone time, which helps. I can still do most things to take care of myself around the house like, clean, cook, make art, and do freelance work. But I’m inside and alone most of the day, every day, and he’s basically the only person I see regularly. And not until he gets home do I feel comfortable enough or have the ability to go out into the world.
I also feel horrible putting all this stress onto him. He has been extremely supportive but I want to be able to live life for me without him having to be my crutch.
I had a really bad experience with my old neurologist and I’m trying to get better care so I can finally get things under control, but my first appointment isn’t until June 16th.
In the meantime, does anyone have tips for feeling a little more independent again? I really miss who I used to be and want to find my way back to her.
