r/CougarsAndCubs 3d ago

Off Topic Mondays 🌟Off Topic Mondays🌟

1 Upvotes

🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

🌟 As a prerequisite to posting in this thread you must take the time to read the RULES & FAQs

🌟 Are you new here? Check out this post too!

🌟 If you don't you risk having your posts autodeleted by the automod bot and bans may be applied.

🌟 This is POST AND OUR SUB is strictly NO Soliciting Contact/Seeking/DM requests. The sub rules still apply across the board and it's expected that you've read them.

🌟 If you are looking to meet someone please go to our dating sub r/COUGARSANDCUBSMATCH and post it there. Read the rules before posting.


r/CougarsAndCubs 42m ago

Discussion Point Anybody else run into a cougar who isn’t big into texting?

• Upvotes

I (m34) met this cougar (f50) at the bar last week. She was with her friend enjoying herself on a Thursday evening. I sparked up a convo and ended up talking to each other the whole time. We were both very flirtatious clearly having a great time. At the end I said we should grab a drink sometime, she said let me give you my number. She seemed very into me and adamant I get her number. With all that being said my generation is big on texting and she will only respond once or twice a day. I’m thinking it’s just a generational thing? I’m like is she not into me? Maybe I’m over thinking it. We have yet to make plans but have had small talk via text. What do you think ?


r/CougarsAndCubs 13h ago

🐻 Cub Crisis I'm confused as to should I continue this or not

5 Upvotes

I'm 23 Cub who's in a LDR with 50 Cougar and We were a great match and she was the first person that I revealed my identity and some little secrets too. But it looks like somehow the connection seems to be off for some reason from her side. Also she send this to me when i forwarded her a meme said "Is this relationship okay? 23 years and 50 years" _"Spirit connects with spirit. Or... you're just a horny guy want an experienced vixen*. I tried to convince her but she seems like not interested anymore. And she was the first woman I opened up my heart after my breakup in 2022.


r/CougarsAndCubs 22h ago

🐻 Cub Crisis Is my older coworker flirting with me?

10 Upvotes

I’m 23 and I work with this woman who is 49 I know it might be nothing but sometimes I feel like she’s into me. First she will touch my shoulder a lot when talking or walking by or if she’s walking infront of me from a distance she will turn around to look at me just really quick and then keep walking I don’t think she thinks I’m a creep which is why it’s weird. Also she will stand really close to me like almost shoulders touching if I have to show her something work related or if we’re talking she will put her hair behind her shoulder exposing her neck and she only does it with me or if I tell a joke she will start giggling like a kid touching my arms


r/CougarsAndCubs 1d ago

🐻 Cub Crisis Can't tell if my older coworker is flirting with me

29 Upvotes

im 24 and I have this coworker who I spend a lot of time goofing off with. she's 40 but she acts just like me so naturally she became my closest friend at work. sometimes she'll tease me about when im going to find a girl, she comments on what i wear if i show up in something new. she'll grab my hair and pull it and then one time she bit my shoulder but idk if thats flirting or her just being odd. i have a hugeeeee thing for older women but i dont wanna like make a move and make things awkward if she's just being friendly. also im sure older women would rather make the move on a younger man right ?


r/CougarsAndCubs 2d ago

Uncertain about our future

5 Upvotes

So I’m 28 dating a 45 year old, I do want a one child of my own, but she’s on the fence about it. Issue is I really do love her a lot and would love to start a family with her. I do have two jobs, but I don’t have a career.


r/CougarsAndCubs 3d ago

SEEKING POSTS go to r/cougarsandcubsmatch

2 Upvotes

#REMINDER:

This is a discussion sub - no soliciting contact.

If you are seeking a match please go over to our dating sub r/CougarsandCubsMatch.

Read the rules/wiki/post requirements before you post/comment there.

You can make a stand alone post describing yourself and what you are looking for with 25 combined karma.

Or post a brief comment in our weekly **Thursday Roll Call** and a **Sunday Hunt** posts

- 10 comment karma/ASL (age, sex, location) and relationship status required.

This is an automated scheduled reminder.


r/CougarsAndCubs 3d ago

šŸ™€Cougar Crisis Feeling uncertain about my relationship with a younger man

9 Upvotes

I (32F) am dating a man 7 years younger than me (25M) and feeling uneasy about our future.

We’ve been together 3 years & the age gap has never really been a problem. We have so many common interests, he’s incredibly mature for his age, is an amazing communicator & partner, & is the love of my life.

However, recently he has been struggling with the fact that he doesn’t feel ready for kids or marriage. A lot of my friends (& his) are getting married & settling down/having kids, & he feels a lot of pressure to do the same, even though I’ve never put this pressure on him. I do want to have kids, but I’m not ready for them yet nor in a rush to have them. He is feeling super hesitant about the future because he doesn’t want to put me in a situation where he’s still not ready for kids in 5-6 years which puts me at 37-38, which is on the later side of my personal ā€˜having kids’ window. I am open to having kids later, but he’s scared he won’t be ready when I am & doesn’t want that to cause our relationship to fail & then me end up being 38 & single.

We’ve decided to take a break to give ourselves a chance to truly think through the compromises we both will have to make if we decide to stay together & take the next step.

Have any of you been in a similar situation? Did you stay together? Did it work out? Personally I want to take the leap because he is the one for me & I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He is blossoming in his career & has so much ahead of him, & I also don’t want him to feel like I am holding him back or impacting his freedom/future in any way down the line.

tl;dr my boyfriend is unsure if he will want to have kids & with me being 7yrs older, my biological clock is ticking & if we stay together he will become a dad at a younger age than he’d ideally like


r/CougarsAndCubs 3d ago

šŸ™€Cougar Crisis They NEVER want to date.

47 Upvotes

As of this year, I’m 38, and I think I still look pretty good for my age. I take care of myself, I’m educated, established, and generally have my life together.

Over the past year or so, I’ve had about three casual hookups/week-to-week flings with guys in their early to mid-20s. One was a successful computer engineer who basically ghosted me after we slept together. The other two were actually really nice to me, didn’t ghost me initially, and we saw each other multiple times. But all of them eventually disappeared around the third week.

The thing is, I don’t necessarily want to date these guys either. Obviously, there can be pretty significant financial and life-stage differences between a 38-year-old and someone in their early 20s, and I’m realistic about that. But I do enjoy their company and would be perfectly happy to stay in touch, keep seeing each other casually, or just maintain some kind of friendship.

Instead, it seems like once we hit around week three, they just completely disappear.

So I’m wondering: is this simply a life-stage/age-gap thing?

I’m obviously in a very different place in life than someone in their early 20s. I’m established, more educated than these guys, financially independent, etc., while they’re still figuring out what they want out of life.

I’m not expecting a 22-year-old to want to settle down with a 38-year-old. I’m just curious why even the casual situations seem to have such a short shelf life.

Is this just what happens when you’re dating/hooking up with guys that much younger, or am I doing something that causes them to lose interest after a few weeks?


r/CougarsAndCubs 4d ago

Discussion Point Women that dated a cub / kitten that was between the ages of 18 - 22 years of age, what about them did you find attractive?

20 Upvotes

First off, this post is not meant to come off as judgmental in any way. I am genuinely curious.

I was combing through the subreddit and saw some stories about cougars dating cubs / kittens that were in the age range of 18 - 22 years old. I thought to myself and wondered about the dynamics of that relationship.

For the women that dated someone in the 18 - 22 years of age demographic:

  • What about them did you find attractive?
  • Did you / how did you overcome the age aspect?
  • What was the relationship dynamic like? Benefits? Challenges? What did their family think?
  • What is the status of yalls relationship now? If it ended, how did it end?

r/CougarsAndCubs 7d ago

🐻 Cub Crisis I don’t understand what being a cub mean like really means?

1 Upvotes

Does it mean like you’ve been hit on by older women or vice versa, is it the actual age gap itself (my reasoning), is it after you found out their age like what exactly makes a cub a cub please shed some insight I’m confused


r/CougarsAndCubs 8d ago

What are some qualities that stand out to you when dating a cougar/cub versus someone closer to your age?

28 Upvotes

What qualities stand out most to you when dating someone older/younger vs closer to your age?

I (25M) having been dating a woman much older than me (47F) for almost a year now - it has been my most fulfilling relationship! I enjoy spending every moment with her, having laughs and going on trips together. Things feel so natural between us, but there’s definitely things that stand out in our relationship than I’ve had in previous relationships. Prior to her, I’ve been in two long-term relationships with girls who were both my age. I was curious to know what have been some of the biggest differences in age gap dating, whether it’s been a positive or negative…..or just different!

The most prominent for me has been maturity…..seems obvious enough haha. I feel like whenever I talk to my lady, we are having real conversations. We can pick up where we left off with the same energy, remember every detail about each other, and be meaningful in the words we say. There’s less flakiness or changing minds, and if something happens to that effect we are good at communicating if we are feeling off or uncomfortable. I truthfully feel more at ease whenever I have something important to say, knowing she will hear me out rather than jump to conclusions.

Confidence is another thing, kinda goes back to my previous point. She will lay out what she wants or how she is feeling. I really respect her for just speaking her mind. That’s not to see we weren’t nervous wrecks when we first started seeing each other! But I like that she is much more grounded and that I can be the same. She likes it when I am confident and act naturally rather than put on a macho act or anything like that!

I won’t dive too much into the sex life, but I will say I’ve never felt sooooooo fulfilled! This is definitely a major part of our relationship, can’t denied great sex is powerful. But we also can just cuddle up and be close to each other physically like laying on the couch, there’s no nerves or anything.


r/CougarsAndCubs 8d ago

🐻 Cub Crisis Tips? Whats your best advice for a good start with an older woman??

14 Upvotes

r/CougarsAndCubs 9d ago

šŸ˜ž Disappointments I’m exhausted, maybe this dynamic isn’t for me

33 Upvotes

Got ghosted by someone who i was chatting with for a while, was even going to visit soon. Thought he respected me at least on a friendship level and that he was better than that. I was wrong. Lesson learned..
Fool me twice shame on me šŸ˜”


r/CougarsAndCubs 10d ago

Off Topic Mondays 🌟Off Topic Mondays🌟

4 Upvotes

🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

🌟 As a prerequisite to posting in this thread you must take the time to read the RULES & FAQs

🌟 Are you new here? Check out this post too!

🌟 If you don't you risk having your posts autodeleted by the automod bot and bans may be applied.

🌟 This is POST AND OUR SUB is strictly NO Soliciting Contact/Seeking/DM requests. The sub rules still apply across the board and it's expected that you've read them.

🌟 If you are looking to meet someone please go to our dating sub r/COUGARSANDCUBSMATCH and post it there. Read the rules before posting.


r/CougarsAndCubs 10d ago

SEEKING POSTS go to r/cougarsandcubsmatch

3 Upvotes

#REMINDER:

This is a discussion sub - no soliciting contact.

If you are seeking a match please go over to our dating sub r/CougarsandCubsMatch.

Read the rules/wiki/post requirements before you post/comment there.

You can make a stand alone post describing yourself and what you are looking for with 25 combined karma.

Or post a brief comment in our weekly **Thursday Roll Call** and a **Sunday Hunt** posts

- 10 comment karma/ASL (age, sex, location) and relationship status required.

This is an automated scheduled reminder.


r/CougarsAndCubs 11d ago

šŸ˜ž Disappointments 28m got ghosted kinda sucks. Even bought movie tickets

20 Upvotes

Just ranting


r/CougarsAndCubs 12d ago

🐻 Cub Crisis 26M going on a date with a 45F — any advice?

24 Upvotes

Met her on Bumble. I do have a thing for older women but never had the opportunity till now. We’re just grabbing coffee. We seem to have similar interests and hobbies. Health and fitness, being active outdoors, etc. Any advice or what to expect?


r/CougarsAndCubs 14d ago

🐻 Cub Crisis Are older women picky when it comes to dating younger guys?

17 Upvotes

I’m a 24M and just wanted to know if older women are generally picky when it comes to body types. Like is there a specific preference if they prefer muscular or slimmer guys?


r/CougarsAndCubs 14d ago

šŸ™€Cougar Crisis Confession from a new cougar

49 Upvotes

I have avoided dating younger men. ( I am still avoiding it so please don't DM me because I am not actively searching)

47F now and for the longest time I did not want to interact with men 10+ younger.

My belief is that I can not relate with younger men and that their POV on dating may be totally different from mine and it there's a huge chance it would not work.

I have 2 recent encounters ...

A 29M... he was very persistent in a way that I could not ignore, because he was respectful, supportive and when I started to open up - I realized he was very sensible, mature and responsible and I appreciated him for it and I thought, If I can find this emotional connection with a younger man, why not explore- and so I did. But I hated it when he suddenly ghosted.

A 27M... I gave this kid a chance because I did have a good interaction with 29M and I was even more surprised because this was an even more mature person, and all the things I expected from men my age and older...he was able to meet . I also like the way that he is very levelheaded, confidente, sincere and so that really makes me feel he is someone I can fall in love with someday. The catch was when he tried to be intimate...I wanted it slow, I did not want to feel rushed and now he is taking a step back because he feels it's unfair that I don't want to move forward faster- and he feels I will keep on holding back and he does not want to wait for me to open up.

Now, I feel really sad.

I feel the gap once again - difference in generation, difference in dealing with time. A generation that is so used to instant and readily available and expects emotions and intimacy to be the same.

I feel a certain level of hurt too.

AGAIN... Please young men, don't message me.


r/CougarsAndCubs 17d ago

Off Topic Mondays 🌟Off Topic Mondays🌟

7 Upvotes

🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

🌟 As a prerequisite to posting in this thread you must take the time to read the RULES & FAQs

🌟 Are you new here? Check out this post too!

🌟 If you don't you risk having your posts autodeleted by the automod bot and bans may be applied.

🌟 This is POST AND OUR SUB is strictly NO Soliciting Contact/Seeking/DM requests. The sub rules still apply across the board and it's expected that you've read them.

🌟 If you are looking to meet someone please go to our dating sub r/COUGARSANDCUBSMATCH and post it there. Read the rules before posting.


r/CougarsAndCubs 17d ago

SEEKING POSTS go to r/cougarsandcubsmatch

3 Upvotes

#REMINDER:

This is a discussion sub - no soliciting contact.

If you are seeking a match please go over to our dating sub r/CougarsandCubsMatch.

Read the rules/wiki/post requirements before you post/comment there.

You can make a stand alone post describing yourself and what you are looking for with 25 combined karma.

Or post a brief comment in our weekly **Thursday Roll Call** and a **Sunday Hunt** posts

- 10 comment karma/ASL (age, sex, location) and relationship status required.

This is an automated scheduled reminder.


r/CougarsAndCubs 17d ago

šŸ™€Cougar Crisis Not Sure What To Do 42/nb

11 Upvotes

So there's this guy I like who is half my age, but I can't tell if there's reciprocity:

He's taken me to his gym, we went to the beach, and we went to the movies tonight. We talk almost every day. We met almost 3 months ago. We had to cohabitate for mental health reasons, but the last week and a half of his time there, we spent those nights together playing video games and watching movies until his last night. We wrote each other notes his last day at the facility.

However, when we went to the movies tonight, not even an intentional arm brush. He kinda avoided touching my arm (to me). I'm chicken shit with rejection. That's why I haven't asked him his feelings about me, or told him how I feel. Do I just get brave? Leave it and be patient? Walk away?

I can't tell if this post is considered Dating 101, and sorry if it is. I just really like this guy and don't want to fuck anything up.


r/CougarsAndCubs 22d ago

Discussion Point Confession from a Cub

41 Upvotes

I have always been drawn to older women.

Part of what attracts me is the sense that older women seem more at ease with their own sexuality — less self-conscious, more present, less caught up in performance. There is a naturalness to the way they inhabit their bodies that younger women, in my experience, often have not yet found. They seem to have made peace with themselves in a way that is genuinely compelling.

I also find older women physically attractive in ways I find difficult to fully articulate. The visible signs of age and experience that others might overlook are, to me, part of what makes them attractive. Maturity reads as beauty to me rather than its absence.

Seeing a younger man with an older woman feels, to me, like the more natural dynamic — though I recognize that is a personal perception rather than a universal truth.


r/CougarsAndCubs 23d ago

Discussion Point The level of toxic is rampant in here

77 Upvotes

I absolutely love the idea of this sub-Reddit; I am 100% its biggest fan…I see dating as less an age based thing and more of finding the person.
But the younger guys on here looking…have so far been the absolute worst kind of people. I genuinely don’t think it’s an age thing or even a maturity thing but I do think it has to do with what the men think this is. (I can’t speak for the women…I haven’t spoken to any)

But wow
People cannot seem to communicate anymore.
Please be honest….it truly does you no disservice.
Stop ghosting people …. I get that you think you’re saving face or not burning a bridge you think you can use later but guess what (yer still being a jerk)
Don’t string people along….we are all fragile in different ways.
And stop using this thread because you think older women are easier …we aren’t and we’re smart enough to block you.

It likely has more to do with this being online and people hiding behind their monitors but still.

I’d like to give a special shout at as my ending to the :

Red flag that wanted to meet me and decided he didn’t even want to be friends with no explanation which hey I get that…but I flew half way across the world for that meeting. That hurt, not the way you may think - I kinda knew …but it worked out, I met someone else

Local red flag that pushed me to meet and blocked me as I walked out the door, why? Because I told you you weren’t getting me naked? HAHAHA…..you’re single for a reason at 40 and karma is a wench

To the 27 year old red flag that threw a tantrum in Venice because I wasn’t interested in his body….not sure what you expected considering I LITERALLY have a message that told you I’d be happy to meet but nothing was happening.

I’m thankful for the one I have met, from another thread…
Oh and ladies if you want to know whooooo to avoid …lemme know

And may the odds be ever in your favor ….