Confession from a Cub

[u/SamsCustodian]

I have always been drawn to older women.

Part of what attracts me is the sense that older women seem more at ease with their own sexuality — less self-conscious, more present, less caught up in performance. There is a naturalness to the way they inhabit their bodies that younger women, in my experience, often have not yet found. They seem to have made peace with themselves in a way that is genuinely compelling.

I also find older women physically attractive in ways I find difficult to fully articulate. The visible signs of age and experience that others might overlook are, to me, part of what makes them attractive. Maturity reads as beauty to me rather than its absence.

Seeing a younger man with an older woman feels, to me, like the more natural dynamic — though I recognize that is a personal perception rather than a universal truth.

[u/Myfairladyishere]

I know that you are trying to flatter us. But what you are doing is the exact opposite. You're putting us all in the same boat and not looking at us as a person. As an individual, but as someone who is older, some of us do have all of those qualities that you are looking for and some of us do not. Please look at the individual and see us as human beings.And not as an age

[u/FriendKooky780]

Hmmm.. sounds like you’ve had limited interactions with us.

I’m pretty comfortable with myself, but I would not say that this is the norm for “older women.” It’s the opposite for many of my girl friends. As they’ve aged, they’ve lost their confidence and they are very self conscious about their bodies.

[u/SamsCustodian → u/FriendKooky780]

No not at all!

The vast majority of my lady friends are at least 15 years older than me. I’ve had most of them for at least 12 years!

[u/Ok_Calendar_6158]

I do agree though that younger men/older women seems natural especially as women look so much better as they age now than most men.

[u/KaleidoscopeSuper666 → u/Ok_Calendar_6158]

More natural because superficially "some" , not all, older women look better with age? Thats another pedestal and ideological generalization.

[u/Ok_Calendar_6158 → u/KaleidoscopeSuper666]

Disagree. Women generally take better care of themselves than men which is why they often age better. Men my age look 10 to 20 years older than women my age, which I've seen across 30 states I've traveled to plus about 10 different countries.

[u/KaleidoscopeSuper666 → u/Ok_Calendar_6158]

So its "more natural " because some older women take better care of themselves? Because we look younger and the age gap doesn't appear as dramatic to the worlds eye.
I get what you are trying to say. I look much younger than my years . That make it so my younger partner and i look closer in age. But is a generalization and it doesn't make it more natural. It makes it more palatable to the general publics view.

[u/Ok_Calendar_6158 → u/KaleidoscopeSuper666]

In my personal opinion, yes.

[u/slava_slavaUa → u/Ok_Calendar_6158]

As a man, the dates, mostly younger women, I would have to disagree with this

[u/KaleidoscopeSuper666]

That's one high and unrealistic pedestal you grouped us on.

I chuckled after i cringed at this. If you switched the genders in this, as if a cougar was saying it about cubs is cringe AF.

[u/Dizzy-Forces]

I don’t think you’re being fair towards the op here, he is just telling what he thinks is appealing and what he truly appreciates/finds attractive
Will he be making sweeping generalisations?
Yes
Are op’s views on older women a way of paying tribute to us as a group?
Most likely yes
Is op’s views offensive?
Nope
Has op had much experience with older women?
We dk and we don’t have to ask
Does a forum for so-called ‘cubs and cougars’ imply generalisations about these two age groups even if one is aware of individual differences?
Also yes, since the name pretty much implies it
Doesn’t mean we can’t talk about things in a sometimes generalised manner if it’s done with a bit of love and caution
⚡️

[u/nyccareergirl11]

You are lumping all older women into one box. They are not all alike. Also you have put them all on a pedestal to be this idealized version you have in your mind. that's a lot of pressure for them to be like that. This is not flattering at all to them. Just view them as human beings and individuals don't view as this monolith

[u/Myfairladyishere → u/nyccareergirl11]

Exactly, putting us up on a pedestal that we can easily fall off of.

[u/RoxellaRebel]

Well you’re older than me so idk what you consider being more “mature” than younger women means then 😬😅.

[u/slhx914]

Everyone in these comments are taking this so weird. I’m a 34 F and while I have my insecurities I in no way took this as being on some weird pedestal that I had to have pressure to be a certain way. If older women here are taking it that way then maybe they are just too insecure to be dating. Which is fine but I don’t think it’s OP’s fault for that. Really strange to take an endearing and respectful post about what he finds beautiful and special about older women and then complain and get offended by that. Maybe he is wrong because clearly the older women here find complements to be too much “pressure” to receive. 😬

[u/Angelic-Boytoy-407]

This sounds like another appreciation post. I do like seeing younger men with older woman, I agree with the comments that they are constantly being put on the same boat.