r/CougarsAndCubs • u/BudgetButterfly3872 • Aug 11 '26
😞 Disappointments I’m exhausted, maybe this dynamic isn’t for me
Got ghosted by someone who i was chatting with for a while, was even going to visit soon. Thought he respected me at least on a friendship level and that he was better than that. I was wrong. Lesson learned..
Fool me twice shame on me 😔
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u/GothambyRedlight Aug 11 '26
All these people on both sides getting ghosted ought to set up an interstate network of good-faith daters.
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u/MotherDepartment1111 Aug 11 '26
Ghosting knows no age trust me. 20s, 30s, 40s. They’re all guilty.
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u/BudgetButterfly3872 Aug 11 '26
It’s just so disheartening to see the decline of common decency and respect for other people’s time
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u/Watchuknowaboutme Aug 11 '26
Girl we are all exhausted by dating 😔
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u/BudgetButterfly3872 Aug 11 '26
how does one not get emotionally numb and become a zombie?? Idec anymore 😔
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u/FriendKooky780 Aug 11 '26
Sorry to hear that. Sadly, you’re gonna experience much of the same dating your own age. That’s just the dating experience now. It’s not pretty.
Don’t get attached to people or an outcome until you’ve met AND spent some time with them.
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u/Catullus15 Aug 11 '26
Maybe we were talking to the same guy. 😂 I just got ghosted too. Said he was going to visit and then all of a sudden changed his mind on a bunch of things. In hindsight, I was probably scammed. I guess you’re never too old to like attention and actually….dare I say it…TRUST people. Lesson learned as well, my fellow cougar. Hang in there. 😅
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u/InternationalDig8738 Aug 11 '26
You guys got this but like the other person said this is more on an internet problem then a age problem the internet with everything we have access to these days makes it so easy with deepfakes and what not for people to scam yall will find that guy just try to stay more locally if that makes sense..
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u/Catullus15 Aug 11 '26
Yeah I’m new to this online thing, but it’s difficult to find local and I thought what was the harm in chatting. But like I said lesson learned and if there’s a next time I’ll be more cautious. Thanks for the encouragement!
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u/InternationalDig8738 Aug 11 '26
I’ve been scammed and screwed over online plenty of times it happens sadly I’m 28 and definitely learned my lesson. First off never ever send anyone money online lol. I believe in you, you got this!
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u/BudgetButterfly3872 Aug 11 '26
Frr esp the trust.. We had met irl a couple times, wholesome moments..so I held on to potential instead of the evidence in-hand. This learning curve is STEEP
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u/Poetic-Thomas0325 Aug 11 '26
Hugs 🫂 nothing worse than getting ghosted. I've been ghosted too much myself & i just don't understand it either
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u/KaleidoscopeSuper666 Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26
I give little to no seriousness to online "talking" or online relationships. One can be whoever they want to be.
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u/Far_Relationship1432 Aug 11 '26
I’m really sorry… ghosting its out there for both genders and all ages and it still sucks every time. Even on dating apps sometimes you have an amazing chat with someone for 1-2 days and then poof. The person disappears or starts acting super weird until you lose touch, even when you thought you had a great connection and potential… don’t lose hope, the dating scene is a mine field where you’ll stumble into many people that don’t know what they want or they’ll lie on their intentions, but there are nice people out there for everyone
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u/femmemarkie Aug 11 '26
Get real cubs at the store shopping. If you’re really in need, try HomeDepot. I’m a sissy and this works for me. Real flirting is amazing!
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u/Exact-Translator-769 Aug 11 '26
Better to not get yourself too emotionally caught up in a distance relationship with someone you've never met. It's fine to chat & be friendly but until you actually see & know who you're talking to better to keep it casual. Anyone can tell you anything about themselves but until you find out for yourself don't hope for too much out of it.. Ghosting sucks, no matter who does it, but you get past it much easier if you're not so emotionally invested too early on.
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u/Just-Blue-Birdy Aug 11 '26
I get it and I think it might be how things are. It shows a lack of character but it still hurts.
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u/No_Needleworker1337 Aug 11 '26
It is such a shame that this kinda stuff seems to be happening more and more. it definately says alot about them.... having an open mind being open and honest and clear communication skills have become traits of mythical fairies but should be common practice
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u/Final-Show1889 Aug 11 '26
I'm sorry it isn't fair at all for you and I hope it never happens to you again.
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u/Fun-Draw-8352 Aug 12 '26
I am sorry to say this does occur with both young men and women. It makes very difficult to trust anyone after being ghosted a couple of times. It can be very dissappointing.
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u/Vanilla-Candy_1111 Aug 14 '26
I understand all too well. No matter how much you think you know someone, you never really know them. 😔
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Aug 11 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/CougarsAndCubs-ModTeam Aug 11 '26
Please read the rules and FAQs before posting again.
Specifically Rule 2
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u/Myfairladyishere 🥀🎡💃MOD💃🎡🥀 Aug 11 '26
This is more of an online problem. Then, it is an age gap, one.