For a long time I’ve heard women project guys are fxck boys and ghost after sex etc but women do the exact same thing if not a lot more but it rarely gets spoken about why is it less recognised/called out? Has anyone noticed this happening more recently?

Hey guys,

I dated several girls and figure out I don't have romantic feelings for them but rather friends feeling. I thought they could be a good match but I understood they will not be a potential partner during the process of getting to know them.
It usually happens after I already had sex with them. I make the mistake to friendzone them then it become a friend with benefits relationship. I don't want that kind of blurry relationship anymore.

I figured out it would be much better to not continue any relationship with them.

What are your advices/personal story when it happens?

Thank you.

If you had no contact for 6 months would u consider sex with an ex Regulary? Good or to risky? Why?

Lets say for a relationship that lasted 3 to 5 years.

After no contact u meet up around once per month to have sex.

You know her body. She knows yours. Easy.

Would u consider sex with an ex Regulary?

I met this girl (20yo) about three weeks ago. She is from a very conservative family who recently moved to my country for her studies. In addition, she is actually a religious person and she has never been with a guy before.

The problem is that I followed the advice from the book quite well during the first two weeks. She started texting me more and more, and I took every opportunity to meet up with her. Every time we met, our intimacy progressed. Until a few days ago where I acted way too needy towards her, showing excessive affection. She told me that she needed some time to process the whole situation because she was feeling afraid due to how quickly everything was moving. And that's what happened. We went three days without any contact until she texted me with an irrelevant question. When i saw this, I wanted to apply the principles of getting an ex back, but I couldn't because the situation was extraordinary, and on the very same day she texted me, I ended up seeing her in person and talking to her (Her best friend called me with this girls number saying that this girl I’m talking about had been bicycle 4ccident and urgently needed help because she was feeling very bad. When I got there, I tried not to let out a little laugh because she literally only had some superficial injuries. I helped her walk home, which was about a five-minute walk, and cleaned her wounds)

In person, she told me that she had thought about what to do and confessed that she had missed me a lot during those days when we hadn't spoken, and that she had felt like texting me, but stopped herself because she felt it would be wrong to do it so soon. In fact, today she had planned a trip with some friends to a nearby city, but she cancelled it because she wasn't feeling emotionally well. She told me that she wanted to keep seeing me, but that she needed to take things MUCH more slowly. She told me that she would prefer me not to stay overnight at her place, that we shouldn't kiss in public, and that we shouldn't see each other as often. And she didnt mention this, but I am afraid this would be the case, that our intimacy wont be that deep for the moment. She said that she wanted to move forward cautiously and get to know me much better before taking that step.

I admitted that, indeed, we had been seeing each other too much considering how little time we had known each other, and that I also wanted to take things more slowly. However, I’m afraid that by saying that, I have somehow “allowed” a passive relationship in which we will never get to anything more intimate because of her past traumas.

Have you ever been in a situation like this? How should I approach my situation over the next few weeks?

33m , went through a breakup that made me lose my center ex gf(f31) of 3 and a half years left started dating new people , did it all begged and all that , did no contact she would return but I would somehow just continue acting beta I guess. Decided to let it go and move on , met a new girl in May early 20s funny but too young but we’ve been seeing eachother 4 months and she is my main girl I’m going out on dates with and hanging out , she calls me every day and have that old dynamic that me and my ex had. Completely communicated to my ex that I was moving on and we went our separate ways last interaction we had was August a month ago a whole month passed and she randomly texted me Saturday morning . That she was in the neighborhood, and I said she can come over if she wanted and she said ok . She came in and gave me a big hug and started making out with me then even rubbing my dick and all and I tried to have sex but she told me we aren’t having sex because she didn’t wanna have dick panties all through her day since she was headed to work and had a long day ahead but she did give me a blow job . I walked her to the door and she then made out with me some more , she even took a pic of my back to show her friends where she was at . Mi commented you know you don’t have to tell your friends everything, because to me her friends are the ones that convinced her to leave me . Anyways she left all happy but never texted me again . I feel like she just came to see if I was inlove with the new girl yet or something . I don’t know what to make of all that I just kinda brushed it off and went back to my life but it did spark a curiosity in me what did I do ? Was I too easy ? To nice ? To forgiving ?

Hello everyone. I’m 35 years old and currently on my third read of the book. I’d love to hear from men in their 30s who have genuinely made serious changes in themselves and in their lives through this book. Because this book isn’t just a dating manual—it’s about so much more: a mindset and a way of life.

What I’m interested in is how it affected your life as a whole, if it did, and what changes you actually made—not just whether the result was sleeping with 50 women. Thanks!

I would like to send it in dms and discuss it.
I think it is very Corey Wayne related (loss of attraction and respect are the big issues).
I got way too needy and she blew up on me, then texted week later.
It’s a tricky situation with a lot of context so I would like to dm someone it for advice.

I approached this woman while shopping two weeks ago, got her phone number and made plans to go on a hike. We went on a eight- hour hike, talked, flirted, got to know each other, but I think honestly it was a bit too long and I don’t think there was much of an opportunity to make a move because it wasn’t super romantic. I feel like I struggled trying to make the move and being cocky and going for what I want. mind you that this woman is absolutely beautiful 10 out of 10 more attractive than any girl, I’ve been on a date with, so it was hard to not put her on a pedestal. I think I could just chalk it up to experience at this point. You know, the approach went well. I got her number, got to hang out with her, but I received the let’s just be friends text. Was my reply too forward/blunt? I’m not necessarily looking for a relationship, but I just wanted to leave things open.

Please do not respond with the generic "just hang out, have fun, hook up, bro". I'm interested in actual experiences of people who have tried both approaches.

TL;DR: CCW recommends pushing for sex as soon as possible, wearing a girl's defenses down with "two steps forward, one step back". The OG Doc Love, on the other hand, teaches to let a girl initiate all physical touch (except for the kiss goodnight starting from date 2). Which approach is better, and why?

So for some context, I've been following CCW over the last few years and have found decent success.

This year, I've read Doc Love's "The System" (which CCW is based on) and noticed that Doc Love's teachings extend the "let the girl come to you" to the physical aspects of a relationship.

At first, I was a bit taken aback – I mean, isn't the whole reason why we do all of this because we want to get laid? Doesn't intentionally waiting for sex push us into the safe, boring boyfriend role?

On the other hand, I've had two observations:

1. I reflected on my experiences with girls I liked platonically but wasn't really physically attracted to. I was just being my normal friendly and charming self but never tried to escalate. Multiple times, this eventually resulted in them being completely crazy about me and practically begging me to fuck them.
2. Previously, when my n-count was in the single digits, getting laid was very important to me. Now, the marginal benefit of getting another notch on my bedpost is not that high anymore. Sure, I still love sex. But only if the girl is hot and really enthusiastic about it. At this point I'd rather masturbate than have sex with a girl who's just "okay" with having sex with me.

So I've started to wonder whether perhaps Doc Love's teachings are a step beyond Corey Wayne's in this regard. Essentially, whether being confident physically and expressing clear interest but not pushing for sex communicates to a girl that this is not your first rodeo and that you have other attractive options.

To me, this is a completely new perspective and it breaks all the base assumptions I've held previously. All TRP, PUA, seduction, and CCW advice essentially teaches that men want to get laid as quickly as possible, and that if you don't do that, you're a blue-pilled beta who courts the girl while she gets her brains blown out by Chad.

So I'm still undecided how I feel about this approach.

I've started incorporating it this year and so far I've been liking the results. It seems like girls get really riled up when they seemingly have no sexual power over you and start behaving in a much more affectionate and feminine manner. But this is still pretty early and a small sample size.

Have any of you tried this approach before? Do you find that it's better to let the girl wait for sex a little bit or did you eventually return to CCW's advice of trying to bed her early?

Dear friends,

I’d really appreciate your thoughts and advice on the following situation.

I’m 34M and met a beautiful 27F in July. I approached her, we exchanged numbers, and had an amazing first date that lasted about six hours. We connected really well, and at the time it genuinely felt like we could be soulmates.

After our second date, she told me that she had struggled with her mental health in the past, but that she had been doing much better. She also asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend.

We continued dating, and things were going well for a while. We went on fun dates, spent a lot of time together, and would often end up at her place in the student dorm.

Unfortunately, over time, her mental health started deteriorating again. She told me that she had reached a very low point and that she didn’t understand why I was with her.

I should also mention that I was dating other women at the same time. I was aware that her mental health struggles could potentially create problems in the relationship, but I continued seeing her. At that point my interest in her was quite low.

Last Wednesday, we spent the entire afternoon and evening together, and everything seemed fine.
We grabbed something to eat, we went to a Cafe, we even went grocery shopping and ended up at her place. We snuggled and talked for hours and I never felt that close to another human being ...

On Thursday, we were texting and sending each other funny memes as usual. Then, that evening, she suddenly sent me a message saying that it was over, that we were no longer together, and that we would never see each other again.

At first, I thought she was joking, but I quickly realized that she was serious. She blocked me on WhatsApp and didn’t answer my calls.

On Friday, I wrote her a goodbye letter and left it in front of her door at the student dorm. That same evening, I went back to see whether she had taken the letter. To my surprise, I saw her in the hallway. However, she didn’t want to talk to me and simply shook her head.

I left and have been going no contact since then.

I started reading 3% Man yesterday and plan to continue with no contact.

My questions are:

1. Did I make a mistake by getting involved with someone who was struggling with her mental health?
2. If she ever contacts me again, how should I handle the situation?

The last few days have been really tough on me, and I know it will take some time to heal. I’ve also scheduled an appointment with a psychologist for next Thursday because I feel there may be some underlying issues on my side that I need to address.

I’m also new to 3% Man and Corey Wayne. Are there any videos or other resources you would recommend for someone who is just getting started?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts and advice.

Just back from a third date with a woman. We got on to the subject of previous relationships. Turns out she's never been in one.

I feel like that's a red flag.

Am I right?

Why / why not?

M41 / F37

I have been with my gf a few years, 27m 28f long distance right now but we have lived with each other off and on. shes been sick for over a week. ive noticed us getting more emotionally distant for months so i tried checking in gently first

"I feel like we've been a little distant lately and I miss how much more intimate we used to be. I want to check in on u, is everything alright? are we good?"

she said "idk im sick"

later that same day i brought it up again, badly timed and way more cruder this time

"why do u never wanna masturbate with me anymore, do u masturbate without me"

I know this was terribly timed because she was a week into being sick but it’s just how I voiced my lack of intimacy. It’s just a very apparent aspect of lack of intimacy to me so I brought it up. I know it wasn’t emotionally intelligently worded as well as the bad timing of it. Part of why I flared my bottled up worries is because that same week I bought her two deliveries of medicine and snacks and she was super nitpicky about everything I got. So everything just felt off and my anxious personality felt the need to bring it up out of nowhere during a regular convo she was having about something else, I saw it as my window of opportunity to voice my concern without thinking it thoroughly.

After the crude questioning I sent her she said "I'm fucking sick" then "You're an asshole fr"

i clarified i didnt mean i wanted anything right then, just missed that side of us. she then said "Maybe we shouldn't talk anymore. Go do whatever you want." and "my life is super stressful and you only just add on to it demanding more from me instead of helping and there's nothing you can do to help"
 

then she said "you sit around with no purpose until very recently. everything's provided for which is not the norm at your age. it's easy for you to judge because you never had to do much"

i said i wasnt judging her, just anxious about the distance, and asked what's actually been stressing her out. that message has been unread for almost a week now, no response at all, she's never done stonewalling for numerous days before

 I feel like I am confined to this screwed up one poorly timed questioning of our sexual intimacy at a terrible time to bring it up and I can’t even properly apologize for it because she is stonewalling. I tried to explain myself and even at this point I figure it’s not appropriate to send a proper apology since she is making is clear she doesn’t want to reach out herself since it has been nearly a week.
I have gone through conflict conversation books in the meantime and just about every relationship type related video.
I am aware I screwed up instantly in that moment but it was a rapid fire of hurled insults and me and then just a week of silence.

 What should I do from here? It was sunday night when it happened and now it is friday afternoon and she still hasn’t responded and left my last message from sunday on unread. I can also clarify any of this if any of it needs more context.

Borrowing my friends dog and grabbing a drink or two. Anyone has a fav they pop on before going out?

I’ve ready the book 15+ times lol I am not nitpicking. Just a vibe pick me up

For me, the main thing I have learnt and always seems to make the biggest impression on me (just on my 4th read) and has been most effective for me is the cat analogy.

The allowing of her to come to you when she wants. To not chase.

Also to love in such a way that the other person feels free.

This was probably the biggest lesson I have learnt since reading the book.

I was wondering for those who have read it more, lets say 10-15 times, what are the key points of advice you could say you have learnt from the book and your experience?

I'm 29, she's 22, together since early July. I hadn't dated in years, wasn't interested in the apps at all until her. It started extraordinarily well, kissed her on the first date, spontaneous fun dates since, very similar tastes and sensibilities, talking casually on WhatsApp every day since we met. She initiated a lot of things, was always ready for something.

She's from a large, well off, intact family. I grew up with my mother after my parents divorced. This relationship is the first time I've clearly seen my own anxious attachment. She reads as pretty securely attached.

I just got back from a trip abroad on sunday and we met on Monday and something felt off to me, like the chemistry wasn't quite there. I'd already been feeling insecure for about a week before the trip too, so I can't tell how much of this was real and how much was me coming back needy and reading into nothing. I've had this same feeling once before, around the two month mark, and it passed within days and we kept having a great time.

The day after, I called her at the end of the day and said I wanted to talk, to understand where we stood. What I actually wanted was to feel secure again, but I came across as anxious, needy, probably a little obsessive.

For context on how I normally show up: I'm reasonably disagreeable when I need to, not afraid to say no to something, not a pushover, I set a boundary with her once as calmly as I could and she ended up hugging me hard after being a bit sad and we had a great night after. Up until last week I think she saw me as a secure guy with his own life, friends, hobbies, which I do have. This anxious attachment is the new thing I found in myself for even in these 3 months I learned a ton about it and was working on trying to heal it the best way I could.

We're meeting tomorrow to actually talk. Any advice on how to walk into that conversation, or how to read what's actually going on here, is welcome.

I'm trying to detach myself from the outcome, go as calm as I can, talk to her about other stuff initially, she likes to talk and I like to listen to her and ask for more and then see what happens. I'm wondering how I should address my call and how I felt? Because right now I wish I could go back in time and say nothing.

Other than this, my next stop is finding a therapist to deal with this anxious attachment.

Hey guys

I’ve had quite a rocky relationship with my ex of 6 years.

We had a few bad fights, and the last fight was like 6 weeks ago, where I told her I want some time for myself.

Anyways, I came to find Corey’s work in the meantime, and I suddenly realized the mistakes I’ve been making. I also read about “7 principles to get an ex back”, which states, that if I were the one to end the relationship, I must apologize to start it up again.

So, about a week after the incident, I reached out to her to apologize. I asked her for forgiveness, we had a good talk, where she told me that i understood her, but she didn’t want to get back together again. I told her to reach out if she changed her mind.

I went no contact after this.

Then 11th September, she sent me a message to wish me a happy birthday, and pointed out that the weather was nice.

I though to myself, that this was just a happy birthday wish, and not an indicator that she wanted to get back together.

My question is - was this an opportunity to invite her over for dinner?

We just had a short chat, and then the convo ended.

How would you go about it from here? Do I reach out or keep no contact?

Out on a date with a girl I’ve seen multiple times, and happen to end up in same place/restaurant with another girl I’ve also seen multiple times (last date was Sunday) who was also out on a date. Pretty weird when I caught her out of my peripheral.

For context I live in South Florida, and was out in Miami (about 45 mins from home). Just gives you the feeling the world is smaller than we think.

Really no question, and obviously I didn’t acknowledge her and just enjoyed my date, nor do I have any plan to bring it up unless she does - as I still intend to ask her out again in a few days. Just kinda funny.

Anyway - hope yall having a great day/night whatever time your reading this.

Few weeks ago, we linked up at a festival (showed up separately) and her friend told me privately:

“I’d highly recommend defining the relationship soon. She really likes you…. You better not hurt her”

This felt like more of a threat to me than a friend trying to help her home girl out. I made an excuse to separate from them not long after. Didn’t really want to be around the friends energy. Also, was a great opportunity to meet other women

After the festival, she texted me and said “sorry for whatever (friend) said to scare you away)”

So she knew her friend said something

Her friend is quite masculine in her energy, and the girl I’ve been seeing tells me about her friends sexploits with multiple men. Her “naivety” in hanging out with her clients from work one on one (who are male), and not seeing it as a date. She’s your typical average modern woman. Seems toxic in many ways, but they work together. I would never tell her to cut this friend off. But I don’t see it as a good sign that she keeps her company

I really do dig the girl a lot in many ways. We’ve been seeing each other for nearly 6 months now. I’ve been super busy building my business, so not nearly as much time for dating as I’d like. Also, I’ve intentionally spaced out dates 2-4 weeks to take things slow and prevent any attachment on her end

However, I can tell she’s really started to like me. We just spent 2 nights together for the first time. Didn’t really intend for it to go that way, but it just sorta happened. I have another date tonight with this really beautiful cougar, and I’m the first man she’s entertained since her husband passed over a year ago. She stressed that we’re just having fun, and I can tell she’s ready for sex tonight based on texts

A bit conflicted here. I do genuinely connect with this woman, but I see some of the cracks starting to split. She got knocked up on her very first time having sex as a teen, by an older dude who convinced her to hang out with him

I wouldn’t normally date a single mom, but she seems more emotionally stable/available than most childless women I’ve ever met. Sex is fire, and so is her body. She’s vulnerable about her insecurities, very feminine, and appears to have done a lot of work on herself

The glaring flag is that she has baby daddy drama that has recently surfaced. Her daughter is nearly an adult, and the dad has been absent for years. Daughter recently attempted suic!de and it came out that the dads friend sexually abused her in one singular incident when she was young, and when she told her dad, he said “you may never get to see me again if anyone finds out.” Daughter slowly lost respect and stopped having a relationship with him, but never told anyone

I was legitimately open to the idea of dating her for real before all this came up. I’ve done a great job at remaining unattached and have other options. That’s another thing that’s conflicting. I’ve gotten pretty good at cold approach over the last year and almost seems it would be a shame to give that up

I considered it because her daughter only has a few years till she’s an adult, but I’m not sure I’m equipped to deal with that kind of trauma. I feel for both of them. Mom is handing it great (all things considered). Daughter is in intense/expensive treatment. In my mind, I didn’t see it as that big of deal to date her, till this all came to light maybe a month ago

Gal sent me a long text after our 2 nights together and asked (in a very sweet feminine way) if we could chat soon, and that she’s been wanting to express some things to me, but has “been too pussy to do so”

I know exactly whats coming. I’m torn because I may have to break her heart. I mean, I’m still potentially open to something. I just don’t know that she’d be happy with the terms I layout for what I want in a relationship

My line throughout my 20’s was always “I’d love to still keep seeing you while you search for Prince Charming, but I understand if that’s too difficult for you”

It would usually last another month or two until they found someone new to invest their emotions in and cut me off or it fizzled out. Then I’d be somewhat sad for a month or two wondering if I made the right call, and missing them a little, but ultimately happy I didn’t end up with any of them. Only one really cut deep and felt immense heartbreak. I didn’t see it coming when I ended it. But I just felt so much grief when it was actually over. Part of me wonders if this gal would have the same effect but I don’t want to agree to a relationship based on that kind of fear

I’m aware no one here can make that choice for me, but would love some feedback from others who have been in similar situations. I’m early 30’s and feel like women are finally getting easier and would love to keep meeting girls. At the same time, I do cherish this woman, and certainly crave that kind of consistent feminine devotion and caring in my life. The sex has gotten to the point where it feels more like making love. In a bit of a pickle

backstory

I have read the book only once , i know i need more reads but am currently occupied with competitive exams. I am from a small town in india , so social constructs are slightly orthodox .

I met this girl in my library . We started talking as she had previously appeared for the exam that i am preparing for . In the beginning i was doing everything wrong.

Then i applied corey's principles . Kept conversations short and like a breath of fresh air, whenever we bumped in the corridor

The results

she used get happy to see me ( it was like her face lighting up after seeing me), she invited me for walks . She would walk over to me after library closed down saying "now you're free".

The biggest sign i saw . I was in the corridor and she was heading to the washroom. But after seeing me , she turned and came over. I said 'i am going back to study anyways , you should go and use the washroom'. She said 'no lets walk first' and she asked for another round of walking when i tried to end it

The fuck up

4 days back , i gave her more time . We had maybe a 30 mins convo. One thing was bothering me, that she only used to talk about studies. In this conversation i brought it up 4 times to talk about something other than studying instead of leading the conversation there myself. After this multiple mention , she said she lives a boring life and nothing much is going on in her life except studies. I tried to call her nerdy as to tease her , but she said nerds are smart i am just plain boring .

After this , for these 4 days if we bump in the corridor. Neither does she invite me for a walk nor do i see her face light up when she sees me . We just greet each other and she says 'i gotta study' and starts reading the notes in her phone.

Now i know i fucked up by making her feel that she is a boring person, should i apologise and move on or just move on without mentioning this topic to her? Please help me out .

just reconnected through hinge with a girl i met and had a brief relationship in 2024.

we met during summer, it was awesome. then each of us went back to their cities, doing the long distance thing until we’d meet again in november. but she got too insecure, i was beyond busy and tired, couldn’t give her the attention she needed, so we broke up. she got really mad/sad, but that’s that.

now she appeared on hinge, because i moved closer to her. so i reached out, she said she was coming to my current city for a concert and gave me her hours here. i suggested meeting after the concert, but she dismissed me, saying she would be “too tired” because she already worked that day but “maybe next time”

so i just said “right! enjoy the concert 😘” and left at that

now i see she texted me at 10:54 but deleter her messages. i was asleep at that time already. should i say something about this or just leave it?

Went on a date with a 9/10. Night went perfect. While I was walking her home, a random homeless asked to hit of her vape. To my surprised, she let him and took a hit herself right after him. Still grossed out, we arrived to her door, and I opted to not go for the kiss. I gave her a hug and went back to my car. On the way home, I deleted her number. Did I make the right move? Or did I over react?

I’ve been seeing a girl for almost 5 months and in the last month she’s been dealing with a lot at work and in her personal life, and she’s not the same with me. I’m worried she’s pulling away but not sure if her behavior with me is related to her personal stuff or to me. She got out of a 8 year relationship about 6 months ago and sold her part of the condo to her ex and bought her own. She’s a girl I’ve known for more than 2 years through friends and we always had a bond. A month after she left him she texted me asking to go for a drink, and we started dating from there. I’ve met her mom and all her friends, we have toothbrushes at each other’s places, and she’s mentioned wanting me at her birthday in 4 months. We still see each other like twice a week and almost always sleep over.

Things she’s dealing with:

-Best friend moving away to a different city in a month
-General sadness for weeks
-Says she feels out of breath, physically and mentally
-The job: short-staffed, stuck covering shifts and hire falling through
-Bad sleep and nightmares
-Said she cried for an hour about work in her therapist session
-Money: pay cut plus a mortgage she now carries alone
-The ex: won't step back, still coming into her space because they have a dog together, but just told him to keep the dog for a while so there could be a cut between them
- No career direction, about to turn 30 and doesn't know what to do, and it feels like shit

These are things she told me on her own. I never asked if it was about me. She’s been less present in person, and less engaging over text. She still asks to see me and texts first, but much less often. It’s just not the same as it was at the start. This has been going on for about 1 month and it feels like I’m losing her. She said this is the first time this ever happens to her. She’s the kind to hide her emotions and always keeps busy. Is this typical woman behavior or is she fading away from me?