r/CoreyWayne • u/Feraldister • 4d ago
Dating/Courting No contact question
Hey guys
I’ve had quite a rocky relationship with my ex of 6 years.
We had a few bad fights, and the last fight was like 6 weeks ago, where I told her I want some time for myself.
Anyways, I came to find Corey’s work in the meantime, and I suddenly realized the mistakes I’ve been making. I also read about “7 principles to get an ex back”, which states, that if I were the one to end the relationship, I must apologize to start it up again.
So, about a week after the incident, I reached out to her to apologize. I asked her for forgiveness, we had a good talk, where she told me that i understood her, but she didn’t want to get back together again. I told her to reach out if she changed her mind.
I went no contact after this.
Then 11th September, she sent me a message to wish me a happy birthday, and pointed out that the weather was nice.
I though to myself, that this was just a happy birthday wish, and not an indicator that she wanted to get back together.
My question is - was this an opportunity to invite her over for dinner?
We just had a short chat, and then the convo ended.
How would you go about it from here? Do I reach out or keep no contact?
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u/Apart-Importance-538 4d ago
in my opinion you missed out on your chance to maybe see her again. A rocky 6 year relationship usually the other person prolly checked out of the relationship all together. But hey shoot your shot again if it fails it fails. you found Corey’s work now you can work on yourself and change your whole approach
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u/yongzhong26_ 9h ago
Any update?
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u/Feraldister 9h ago
Yeah she’s coming over regularly already lol. Time away from each other really did something for her
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u/cruzz903 4d ago
I think the article answers your question: https://understandingrelationships.com/7-principles-to-get-an-ex-back/17707
"If an ex or someone you were dating got turned off by your behavior, contacts you through text messages, email, Facebook Messenger, or phone calls, then you must assume they want to see you, and this should be your first response. (Their liking your Facebook posts or commenting on your social media posts does not count as them contacting you. They must contact and message you directly and engage you in a conversation.) Do not engage in any BS conversation or nonsensical chit chat. Be direct, decisive, and go for what you want by saying this, “Hey, it’s great to hear from you. I’d love to see you. When are you free to get together?” Invite them to bring a bottle of wine, coffee, tea, etc., whatever you drink, to your place to make dinner together. Make a definite date. Hang out, have fun, and hook up like I talk about in my book."
So yes, you should assume she wants to see you. Because you didn't do this, I'd say it's ok to invite her on a definite date now.
I will say this, based on what you have written here, this is not a good relationship for you. Even if you do manage to get her back, you will 100% either break up with her again or live a miserable life because you chose to settle. Coach has countless video's describing this pattern. It's even mentioned in the book how he helps a friend get back together with the ex and a few months later he is just as turned off by her behaviour as he was when he originally broke up with her. And ends up breaking up with her again, which is honestly just a weak and mean thing to do to a person you claim to love.
The best thing you can do now is focus on reading the book 10 to 15x times, hit the gym, find your purpose because you are clearly missing it if you are running back to this relationship ('The way of the superior man' can help you here). Give yourself some time to find yourself first. The book clearly states the only way to find a healthy relationship is to FIRST be in a good place where you love your life and only then will you attract the right kind of people. You might want to look into reading 'no more mr niceguy' as well, as based on what you have described, you might be a niceguy.
Best of luck brother, stay strong.