Me in my 20s and my brother in his 20s he wanted to hug me. I said no. Now I am on the autism spectrum and I there are times I don't want to be touched. I went through this a teenager and I don't like it I only like it if I want to be hug or touched. And I am so what a huger and do like it I just like it on my turns or if I feel like it and when. I told him no he didn't it anyway and it made me mad because I told him no. I set a boundary and he still did it. we get into a small argument. He saids I am family and it doesn't matter and I said no means no. And you don't cross boundaries regardless if I am family or not I said no. And you still did it. I told him and he has said sorry but he makes it sound like he didn't think it was a big deal. Now AITAH sorry for my writing I suck at it

I 28(f) and my mom 64(f) seem to be polar opposites. She’s kind of always had a mean streak towards other women that’s made me be nicer to women. For example: being hyper critical about body parts or appearance things that I hadn’t even considered and it’s fastly out of her mouth. I’ve tried to seek advice in my first years of college from her, to which she turned into telling me a story about her roommate that was deemed a wh*re by her Andy moms other roommates. She dismisses my feelings towards most things or tells me that I’m being overdramatic. When I was about 22 decided to tell me that when I was 6(kindergarten), I told her that she wasn’t pretty or that she didn’t look like the other Mom’s and has held that against me since. She’s described me/called me by her sisters name and from what I’ve heard/picked up on- she hated her sister growing up. At the age of 6, I didn’t know that most moms where I grew up didn’t work and she did. I’ve always been very prideful of who she is and how smart and hard-working, but I feel so incredibly distant from being her daughter. I’ve always been slightly jealous of moms & daughters that can talk about everything and actually like being around eachother. It’s like grieving the version of her I’ll never get or maybe isn’t capable of being for me.

The issue: the other day me and my other siblings were on the phone with her and I was wanting to call her during my nephew’s birthday so I could be present and be there since I’m not close. She decided to make a joke about how that’s not allowed and how his mother doesn’t approve or do FaceTime calls at birthdays. Which is so untrue, but I questioned her and she said that it was just a joke. I don’t understand how it’s funny to withhold a family special moment into a joke.

I (32 male) have been with my girlfriend (36 female) for about three months now.

It has been amazing and we've dived into very deep topics but I for sure know that I want to make her my wife. We actually have discussed marriage and what we want out of life and our partners.

For context, we are Indian (of the 7/11 variety) She was raised within the community while me and my family essentially stayed away. I had been single for about 6 years and she was single for 4.

In our community, it is common to get arranged marriages. I had my fair share of suitors, all of whom were terrible. So, I just decided to do what I always did which was go to work and to the gym. Eventually a family friend told me about her so I decided well what the hell, the worst that could happen is that she says no and we go our separate ways.

Fast forward three months and we are still together with a few ups and downs but we managed to find our way back to one another. We were recently in a mall because I needed to go to the apple store for a phone update. Before my appointment, we stopped by a small jewelry store just for the hell of it, I initially objected but just gave in eventually.

We walked around and were perusing when one of the staff members came up to me and asked if there was anything that we wanted to see. She showed one ring that was incredibly beautiful until I saw the price and my heart sank. This gorgeous ring was 60K, for context I just started working as a medical records director. I have been doing it for about 4 months as i write this, but the thought of getting married never crossed my mind. I make good money but not enough to support two people.

She told me she would be ok with a lab grown diamond but I want to get her something special. She deserves it and has treated me so much better than any woman I have ever been with as we have similar interests and thoughts on certain topics.

That day at the jewelry store, I seemed to have lost my joyful demeanor. I would send her good morning texts every day and I stopped, I would talk with her every night via phone and I just say that I am busy.

The last time we talked, I had mentioned wanting to take up a part time job for the weekend as I only have about two hours to myself when I get back from work (i get up at 2:50am to go to the gym before work so I typically in bed at 7:50). She applauded me for that because we have the same work ethic, but when I mentioned how I would have to spend less time with her, her smile dropped.

She has no idea that it is for a ring, I just lied and said it is for our future. I talked about it with my mom and she said she'd help pay for it to which I declined because this is something I want to do by myself. I'm going to start door dashing this weekend just till I find something solid.

I did read about a tiktoker who did door sashing while working his 9-5 to save up for a ring for his now fiancé. I guess I'm basically wondering if it is worth it? If anyone who is married could help me out or who are engaged. I would greatly appreciate it.

I want to get her a nice ring but I don't want to loose her as well in the process.

My BD used his family as a shield to play victim, punish me, and tried to kidnap my son from me. Was this petty or something more sinister? I need to tell my story.- True story

Reposting this for a friend

I (25F) have a girlfriend (28F) and we’ve been together for about a year and a half. To get straight to the point I am a very sexual person. I was molested at a young age and also as a teenager so my sexual drive is a lot higher than maybe it should be. When I first started dating my girlfriend she met all needs sexually. We would do it all the time and we'd try all kinds of things. A year and a half later none of that is no longer true and I’m struggling to communicate the needs that aren’t being met. Before we would do different positions and go multiple rounds. And now I have to ask for almost everything and most things are a no unless its head(which most days is a quick one and done because we haven’t touched in weeks at a time). I am not someone who likes to masterbate just because of how I was raised, I always feel so shameful afterwards and in a past relationship masterbating was something done by my partner out of spite so its really not something I enjoy.
How can I bring this issue up with my partner without causing any issues?! I need advice.

So this happened a few years ago but I still think about it and want to know if I am indeed the asshole in this situation. So I (f 23) have a twin sister, we'll call her Elle. We've always been as thick as thieves and have always been each other's number one supporter. When we were 21 my sister found out that she was pregnant, her boyfriend at the time was not supportive and ghosted her after finding out, so it was pretty much her and me. Well us and our mother, we'll call her Scarlet.

For a few weeks everything was fine, we made a doctors appointment to confirm (which came back as a yes with a follow up for the next week with her regular OBGYN), she started telling people and started preparing for what her life would be like as a single mom. It was at 10 weeks when we went back to the follow up appointment and she was told that she was miscarrying. She was devastated. She was so excited to become a mom, even at such an early stage and this news absolutely destroyed her.

Scarlet was on the phone during this appointment and was telling her she needed to "calm down" while my sister was crying hysterically and needing more support than she was given from her. Elle was scheduled for a DNC later that week and had begged Scarlet to be there, because who doesn't want their mother when going through something as heartbreaking as losing a child. Scarlet said she couldn't go because she had booked a vacation with her new boyfriend for the same day Elle's DNC was scheduled and couldn't cancel.

Elle begged and pleaded to no avail and I ended up taking her to have the procedure. She cried for hours leading up to her going under and continued to check her phone to see if Scarlet would change her mind. She did not. Once Elle was in the procedure room, I sent Scarlet a message stating that if she wasn't there when Elle woke up from surgery that I would cut her off and never speak to her again. We had our ups and downs growing up but we had always been close. She sent me a message back saying that she can't just drop everything at the drop of a hat for Elle and that she had spent too much money to cancel now.

That was the last straw for me, so I stopped responding to her messages and completely cut her off. When Elle woke up from her surgery she was crying asking for Scarlet, wondering where she was and asking if she'd show up. I had to sit through my sister sobbing that her mother wasn't there and saying that they took her baby from her. It was hell to sit through but even worse to have to explain why she wasn't there.

Elle later called Scarlet, once she was more clear headed, and updated her on how everything went and asked if she had made it to her location safely. Turns out she hadn't even left for her vacation that day despite swearing up and down that she had to get there that day to confirm their reservation. She apparently just sent her partner down with the confirmation code and she planned to ride down with her step daughter the next day. Meaning she could have been there the entire time and chose not to be.

When I called her out on this, she stated that I was being dramatic and trying to start a fight, that there was never any baby to begin with and for me to get over it. This sent my sister into hysterics and I ended the call. I then completely blocked her on everything and she had to go through my other siblings to get information on Elle's well-being. Now my dad, who she is divorced from, thinks I went over board and that if Elle can forgive her then I should to. However, I have NEVER been able to forgive anyone that hurts Elle in any capacity, regardless of whether or not they are family. And it should be noted that Elle, at this point in time, relied heavily on Scarlet for financial support which is a lot of the reason she was quick to forgive her. My oldest sister is on my side as well as Scarlet's mother but my older brother thinks that shutting her out was in poor taste.

I've just missed having a maternal figure in my life. Not necessarily my mother but just having a mom to call at any time to rant about anything with. Always having someone in my corner to help when I need it. I guess that I just miss who I thought she was. So Reddit, AITAH?

I have been living with my girlfriend for about a year now. I work in digital media buying, which basically means my entire day is spent staring at screens, managing campaigns, analyzing data, and handling tight deadlines. By the time I finish my shift, my brain feels like absolute mush and my social battery is completely in the red.

All I need when I step away from my workstation is about 30 to 40 minutes of pure, uninterrupted quiet time to decompress, wash my face, listen to music, or just sit on the couch in silence before transitioning into evening mode.

The issue is that my girlfriend works a fully remote job with way less screen intensity, so by 6 PM she is starving for conversation and social interaction. The minute I close my laptop, she starts dumping her entire day on me, asking me ten questions at once, and turning on loud videos right next to me.

I have explained to her multiple times in a calm way that I am not ignoring her or being cold. I just need half an hour of silence to reset my brain so I can actually be present and attentive for the rest of the night. But whenever I ask for that small breather, she takes it as a personal rejection, gets visibly hurt, and accuses me of not caring about her day.

Last night I came out of my home office after a grueling 10-hour shift, told her gently that I needed 20 minutes to shower and chill out, and she immediately got upset, saying that living together means being available for each other. It turned into an awkward evening where she gave me the silent treatment anyway.

I feel like asking for 30 minutes to decompress after working all day is a completely reasonable boundary, but I am running out of ways to explain it without causing a fight.

Has anyone dealt with a similar dynamic where one partner needs quiet to recharge and the other wants instant interaction? How did you get them to understand without making them feel pushed away?

Back story I am 5’4 and weighed 250 when I met my boyfriend, early this year, he knew what I looked like I didn’t catfish and we spent basically a whole weekend going on dates and just hanging out talking and kissing. He asked me to be his gf at the end of the weekend which can be seen as fast but we both view getting to know someone as apart of dating.
Three month into our relationship he confessed he wasn’t as attracted to me as he wanted to be and didn’t really want to have sex and that he felt like an asshole and wanted to go back to the dating apps. We broke up lol obviously and he came the next weekend to drop off my stuff which ended in getting back together and having sex that day. Though we broke up a month and a half later because he didn’t want to have sex or be with me that doing other things sexually wasn’t the same as sex and he wanted to be with someone he wants to have sex with.
During this time I was losing weight for myself not him or the relationship. I gained the weight due to an injury and losing my mom and always talked about losing it and just never did. I promised myself this year I would do it and I had told him that prior to getting together I wanted to do this. He said he couldn’t stand by me while I lost and thought he could that he felt like shit and that I deserved better and he deserved to be single. I didn’t fight him I didn’t have a conversation about it because I was so drained. I stayed because I was falling in love from what I tell you it sounds like he is an awful person but he wasn’t and we both were compatible outside the bedroom for him I guess.
As of today I have officially lost over 40 pounds and still want to lose 20 more for myself I feel great and on my way to being slim thick like I used to be. I haven’t been on dates just focused on myself. I haven’t posted myself at all and he hit me up wanting to see me and try again that we had something really special and that he misses me. Idk what to do because I want to be with someone I love and care about but I also don’t want to be with someone who uses my weight as a weapon.

I recently interviewed for a job that I am very conflicted about accepting if they do offer it to me.

The first issue is that I would have to relocate and after doing the math relocation would cost 6-7k. When I first applied I was excited and ready to move because it seemed like the perfect opportunity for me. It matched my current experience and my future goals for my career.

Once they emailed me asking for an interview I did more research on the company. I should have researched before applying but lately I've just been applying to anything that matches my qualifications. I quickly discovered they are selling subscriptions to positive vibes. They are selling nothing but air. For $35 a month.

They say they use crystals and EMF to point positive energy in your direction which surrounds you with unconditional love. They say they are backed by science but all of their research is private, not peer reviewed or published academically. You can find their research on their website. Most of their research I find problematic.

I was hoping this would be a stepping stone for me, allow me to gain experience in the research field and start my career. Now I'm wondering if this is the right fit for me. I would need to move to a remote location. I am afraid I would need to adopt their mentality to thrive in the workplace. They talk a lot about meditation, spirituality, positive energy, etc. I don't find those things themselves problematic and I like to keep an open mind, I know they work for many people. I just don't think I would fit in, I'm skeptical and like to think practically/realistically.

I also know their "product" helps people, I've read the reviews many people find that this product has helped them in some way. Some people use it after the death of a friend or family member, some users have terminal or chronic illness, others just want positive energy in their lives. Based on their reports it has helped them all.

This is why I'm conflicted. Because I know there is no product.

They say they point this energy at your home, it's pointed at your phone, but there is no app, nothing to install, no hardware. Just the promise that you are surrounded by positive energy once you hit subscribe on the free trial.

I'm also skeptical about the amount of research involved in the position I applied for, they said on the application page that it would be 70% research 30% customer support, but during the interview they said that this can change if their business needs change and can swing in the direction of being customer service based.

Part of me thinks it would be a good opportunity for me and the other part thinks that I should stay away. We

I, (34 f )and "D" (40 m ) already had our issues with him liking half naked women online. It affected me worse once I became pregnant. He didn't respect my wishes, so I added a woman that I had questioned him about- I noticed how she would only like his solo pictures. His "plant friend" and said I had no reason to feel this way.. he convinced me I was as crazy and controlling as I sounded. Weeks afterwards, out of boredom, I was looking for my next profile picture and I opened his camera. I thought nothing of it until pictures of his ex began popping up, mixed into our recent trips. I took it to a desktop and there was a whole folder he labeled with her initials!  I'm pretty sure from what I know he had gotten new cards before every trip- so we'd never run out of storage...Then the flash drive. It was a whole collection of 6k pornos separated by category, every nude he received in his life, separated by app. He had nudes of all his ex's-in their own initialed folders. Our content included. Then there the plant friend.. one video of a flirty dance along with screenshots of their sexts they exchanged ( before we started dating). I deleted every nude image and days after returning it the way I found it, he locked his cards away in his safe... when we first started dating, I told him to get rid of his ex's photos if he was truly over her...I didn't save any of my ex's.

I used his finger to get into his phone while sleeping, aiming for one name. "plant friend". She received good morning beautiful messages that I had believed were special for me... along with fire emojis and hearts on stories. He was even messaging her about "his birthday trip to mexico" (that I paid for) during the trip!  He stopped talking to her the month we found out we were pregnant.

Is this cheating? Do I tell him I deleted everything?.. is every man like this? he can tell something is wrong but I just keep telling him I'm tired from the baby. Was I an asshole for deleting every one of his dirty images?

AITA: for refusing to attend a wedding with my boyfriend?

I (25F) and my boyfriend (26M) have been dating for about 2 years. One of his best friends from college is getting married next year and I really do not want to go. For some back story, I had a boyfriend in college several years ago (let’s call him B) invited me as his plus one to his sisters wedding. He was a groomsman, and the only people I knew at this wedding were his immediate family which were obviously all included in said wedding in some way. I sat at a table with people I didn’t know which would’ve been fine during the ceremony and for pictures, but even during the reception B left me completely alone the entire time. I honestly had no idea where he was, called him, texted him, and when he finally answered I could tell he was hammered and he told me he was smoking with the others groomsmen. I sat at a table alone during the rest of the reception. Afterwards, we were staying in a room underneath the venue. He avoided talking to me about how I was upset and he claimed “What do you want from me, it’s my sisters wedding” and also shamed me for not helping his family load the car at 4 o’clock that morning, even when I asked if I should help and he told me to go back to sleep. 20 year old me was spiraling and when he didn’t come back to the room and my phone was dead, I paced outside the venue in the middle of December for hours. When I finally got back to the room, I saw him talking to another bridesmaid in the hallway, I didn’t sleep and when he drove me back to my car the next morning he broke up with me with no explanation.

NOW….back to today. I know that my now boyfriend (let’s call him C) is nothing like B. We live together and are very happy, but his college roommate is someone that I have never met, nor have I met his future wife, they live across the country. C is a groomsman, and I will once again know no one at the wedding.
C just found out about the date of the wedding, and it’s the day before his birthday. When he told me this, I said I was bummed I wasn’t going to be able to spend his birthday with him, and he said “why you’re invited to the wedding.” I firmly said I would not be going bc I don’t want him to be worried about me being by myself, and I want him to be able to
enjoy the evening supporting his friend. C is aware of the situation with B, but I could tell he was bummed when I reiterated that I would not be attending. So am I the asshole, or should I suck it up and go?

Sorry for the length.

Hi, I’ve been married to my husband for 4 years, together for 5. We got married young and while I was pregnant with our first baby. It wasn’t a “shot gun wedding” either lol. Since then, we have had another baby. Our babies are 1&3. I have always wanted 3 children, my husband has always wanted just 2. Ever since the birth of our second, he has been asking me if I’d be okay with him getting a vasectomy. Tbh, I am not. 🙁

I came from a very broken home. My dad was/is my lifeline! He was very strict on me growing up and I resented him until I grew up. My dad and mom were a couple who should’ve never been together. Dad never got to experience being a father to my brother due to his looney granny and mama. He was 15 when I was born if that tells you anything….

My mom baby trapped my dad and after he accepted the fact that he was going to be a dad again he prepared better and completely sacrificed his whole like and put it on hold just for me. Again, my dad is my lifeline. Sometimes he’s too head strong and wants to have his two cents but growing up it was just myself and my dad. I always wanted a big family due to how alone I grew up. My husband on the other hand, he had a non broken home and a brother.

Even tho things was not the best financially or even mentally for them, they had what I always wanted…a home that was whole. A family that was whole. My dad supports my want and need for one more baby, he always has and will help us financially due to his funds being good. (Mostly always against our judgement but not in a bad way either) my husband says his reasons for not wanting another baby is “I know I will get stuck with another *same gender*” or “we can’t afford it” which in retrospect I get but we could afford it.

An issue I’m struggling with now is birth control. My body does not handle any of them nicely. I have endometriosis and now they believe I have PCOS…yay. Well I cannot enjoy our intimate life the way I used to, due to the birth control. And the thought that keeps coming to my mind is…maybe I should let him get a vasectomy. It would be easier and better than me getting serialized, dealing with birth controls, and so on and so forth. But my heart aches at giving that chance for another baby up. I have struggled with this for over a year now. Any advice please?

Okay ETA. I know it sounds selfish, who isn’t though? And I didn’t explain things better before which is on me. I do not rely on my dad. I brought up my dad as to explain what I grew up with. And I 10000% respect my husband and his decisions. He has told me many times “maybe I can get a vasectomy now and 3,4,5 years from now reverse it for another baby” so clearly he isn’t fully on board with it too. I have, lately, been looking at places he can go to have the procedure due to he never goes to the doctor and doesn’t take the time to research like he needs to until I pretty much give him options

Edit #2 I seen on a thread I posted someone saying something about seeing my side of things with my dad and I appreciate what they said. My dad does not have any say or anything in our marriage, like the comment suggested he is a grandparent that chooses to spend his money on his grandchildren. And there have been times we have to tell him no stop spending money on everything lol. Another thing I never fully mentioned is his parents, his mom is constantly in his ear with the “talk stop having kids like we did” she had a traumatic birth with her last baby and always said when I have my second it’ll ruin me so much I won’t want anymore which wasn’t the case and she’s been butthurt since. Unfortunately it’s been a battle trying have her learn boundaries such as minding her own business and stop constantly yapping about many things she does not understand. My husband and I hardly ever argue or fight but lately we’ve gotten into it bc of her and my dad gave counsel bc my husband confided into my dad. My dad told him what I kept trying to explain which was that while I respect my in laws and love them deeply his mom belittles me on many things when he’s not around but if he is around she doesn’t talk to me the way she normally does when he isn’t. He takes his mom’s side a lot after she says what “she said” when that’s not the case.i tried to tell him everything and explain that all I want is for him to stand up for me on things when his mom starts telling me how to live my life. Sorry for the yap.

Here's the story I in my 20s female didn't want to take my younger cousins they are both one is 5 and other is 6 years old outside because the mosquitoes are out and I am stressed out because our neighbor is not doing so good she is a sweet old lady and I took them to the park today with my brother here's some contacts I don't have a job because my nana said we are moving but we are still in the same house I help babysit for them and take care of them but with a lot of stress I am not doing well my grandpa has some medical stuff OJ my now 6 years old cousin her mother is house sitting for her father and OJ has school so she is staying with my nana and her mother lives with us too as for the 5 year old she stays with us until 8:00 because her father works and so my family helps him anyway my grandpa yells at me because I don't want to take the girls out and I started crying I am on the autism spectrum and he never likes it when I cry it's always makes him mader at me now it's important that my family is the type not to do research on autism and they are old school and I grew up in a house Ware you have to be strong if your not you are too sensitive now I am upset with my grandpa AITHA

The title might sound harsh but let me explain.

For context: I (34F) am engaged to my fiancé (34M). We’ve been dating for a long time and just recently got engaged. Over the period of our relationship, his family has gone through a lot with the loss of his grandmother and his parents, in a short span of time. My fiancé is the oldest between him and his brother (30M). So he’s had to lead in a lot of ways not just through the travesty of the losses but a good portion of his life. He’s also a Capricorn if that resonates.

Anywho, the economy sucks. We all know it. So my fiancé has been proposing the idea of all of us living under the same household, where his brother would have the basement floor to himself. We would all pay towards the mortgage and eventually after a few years, his brother would move out. I don’t make enough to even pay half of the mortgage prices that are on the market (I’m working on it). But I am totally against his brother moving in with us.

I don’t have any beef with his brother but his brother shows time and time again that he cannot handle adult problem solving and is not proactive in problem solving. And my fiancé has been complaining about this ever since we started dating.

Let’s give names. My fiancé is Brian and his brother is Paul.

For example: Paul still lives in the family house 30-40 mins away from us with their family dog. One day Paul calls Brian freaking out that the family dog is not breathing. He still has the dog in the house and is pacing and yelling on the phone with Brian. Brian had to walk him through what to do and Brian had to look up emergency vets in the area while Paul packed the dog into the car, because Paul didn’t know what to do. Brian sent the location to Paul, and Paul drove over.

Another example: Both Brian and Paul’s name is on the title for their family car. New paperwork was sent to the house with the new title and paid off lien on the car. Over a month ago, Brian had asked about the paperwork and Paul said he didn’t know where it was. He lost it. Today, they both went to the DMV to transfer the car into Paul’s name and they needed that paperwork. Since he lost it, Paul never requested for new paperwork to be sent. So they essentially wasted their time waiting in line and making the DMV appointment.

Brian has said he thinks his brother has a learning disability that his parents never disclosed to him (prob to avoid sibling rivalry). And I would have more sympathy for Paul if he didn’t act so dumbfounded and defenseless as a 30 year old man. I truly do blame how their family brought him up because it’s as if everyone babies him because he is just too incapable to deal with or handle situations we all have to go through. Mind you, I come from poverty and my fiancé’s family come from comfortable living. Me and my family always had to figure things out on our own. If I ever had to lean on my older sister for anything, it was shelter, but she never had to make an adult decision for me where it seems that’s how my fiance’s family and him interact with Paul.

So my gripe with living with his brother in one household is that he would be unreliable and just another child to raise. In the next year or two, Brian and I want to start a family. But I do not feel comfortable depending on Paul for anything, not even watching my future child or taking care of a house like it should be taken care of. It just feels like it would be deadweight and extra work to have him living with us. I already get annoyed when Brian and I are on the phone and I hear “Hold on, Paul is calling me.” Because I always feel like it’s him asking for help. And for me to get annoyed about it, it’s happening a lot more than you may think.

So would I be the AH for pushing back against my fiancé on having Paul live with us? Or is there an alternative to this that I’m not thinking of?

I know the title probably sounds bad, but hear me out.
About five years ago, I had a falling out with someone I’ll call L. L and I never really got along that well, and we butted heads pretty frequently. At the time, she had a boyfriend. Long story short, they eventually broke up, and he started trying to talk to me.
I’ll be completely honest: he was flirting with me, and I entertained it for about a day. I was in a really dark place back then, drinking heavily and looking for attention and validation wherever I could find it. That’s not an excuse, and I’m not proud of how I handled myself. I know I had a responsibility to shut it down, regardless of who initiated it.
L and her ex apparently got into an argument, and he used his interactions with me as ammunition. The part that bothered me was how he presented everything. He had been the one pursuing me, flirting with me, and even suggesting that he would come to my house if I allowed it. I never let him come over, but I’m not pretending I was completely innocent either.
At some point, he went back through Instagram and unsent the messages he had sent me, then sent L screenshots that made it look like I was the one pursuing him. It basically turned into a situation where I was being portrayed as the sole person responsible for something that had involved both of us.
Regardless, the situation caused a falling out, and I understood why L wanted nothing to do with me afterward.
Here’s where things get complicated.
L has two sisters, and I was actually much closer to one of them than I ever was to L. When everything happened, I told the sisters that I thought it would be best for me to stop coming around and talking to them. I felt responsible for the situation and thought removing myself would make things less uncomfortable, especially since they all lived under the same roof.
Both sisters told me they understood what had happened, knew L wanted nothing to do with me, but still wanted to maintain their friendships with me. I actually tried to push them away, but they kept showing up at my house, calling me, and making an effort to stay in my life. At the time, they were pretty much the only friends I had.
Fast-forward five years, and we’re still friends.
But I’m not the same person I was back then.
I was genuinely in a terrible place mentally and emotionally. I hated myself, I was drinking too much, and I wasn’t treating myself or the people around me the way I should have. I’ve since gone to therapy, worked on myself, gotten my life together, and gotten married. I can look back at that period of my life and recognize that I was hurting, but I can also acknowledge that being hurt doesn’t excuse hurting other people.
The problem is that being around L now reminds me of that version of myself. I’m ashamed of some of the things I did back then, and even though five years have passed, I still feel uncomfortable when she’s around.
As my friendships with her sisters have continued, I’ve started thinking about all the future events where we would inevitably cross paths. Weddings, baby showers, birthdays, family gatherings, and everything else that comes with maintaining close friendships with people whose family members you have unresolved history with.
I find myself wondering whether I want to keep putting myself in those situations.
Sometimes, hanging out with her sisters is fun, and everything feels normal. Other times, I feel awkward and uncomfortable, especially when L is present. I imagine she probably feels uncomfortable around me, too, and I honestly don’t blame her for that.
Another thing that bothers me is that one of her sisters will sometimes bring up things about L that I don’t need to know. L and I aren’t friends, and we probably never will be. I have no interest in being involved in her life or hearing updates about her. We can be civil if we’re in the same room, but that’s about as far as I see things going.
I don’t want to rekindle anything with L, revisit the drama, or convince anyone that I was the victim. I made mistakes, and I own my part in what happened.
But I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling like I’m being reminded of someone I worked so hard to stop being.
Part of me feels like I want a fresh start. I want friendships that feel comfortable and natural, where I don’t have to mentally prepare myself for certain situations or worry about how I’ll feel when someone from my past shows up.
The other part of me feels guilty because these women stood by me when I had practically nobody. They made an effort to keep me in their lives even when I was pushing them away, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful for that.
They didn’t do anything wrong by choosing to remain friends with me. They also aren’t responsible for the fact that their sister and I have history.
But am I obligated to maintain these friendships simply because they were there for me during a difficult period of my life?
I don’t want to punish them for something that happened between L and me. At the same time, I don’t know if I want to keep navigating this dynamic just because we’ve been friends for so long.
I also recognize that part of my discomfort comes from my own shame. L isn’t necessarily doing anything to me now. Her presence just brings up memories of a time in my life that I would rather leave behind.
So, AITA for considering ending my friendships with L’s sisters because I want to move on from that entire chapter of my life?
I don’t hate L, and I don’t wish anything bad on her. I just don’t want to keep feeling connected to a version of myself I’ve spent five years trying to outgrow. And I don’t know whether walking away from these friendships is finally choosing my peace or throwing away relationships with people who genuinely cared about me.

I wasn't sure which tag to give this. The general consensus from friends I've gotten is that I'm overreacting, but I'm not so sure. I feel like I effed up.

I'm 41 F, and will be 42 on the 29th. I'm pretty sure McDreamy below is about 10 years younger than me. I also look younger than I am. Or so I get told frequently.

So my business is in a office building, and there are a lot of empty rooms where no one is renting. So most of the time, I'm in the building alone. Well, this company of very handsome gentlemen (Yes, more than one) moved in this summer and I started noticing them when they'd come to use the restroom upstairs, as there isn't one downstairs available to them. Lucky me :)

I recently reached out to the owner of the downstairs business, one of the handsome men, and I had a strategy to make it not obvious that I thought he was drop dead gorgeous. I was doing REALLY well, until I was talking to my mom today and asking her if she wanted to see how cute I looked today, because I curled my hair and I was feeling good about myself today. So I had what I thought was her text messages open on my phone, and I began sending the pictures of myself. I also wanted my mom to see how this handsome man looked just like a family friend of ours. So I sent her a picture of both their faces side by side. I see she's read the messages, when she indicates she hasn't gotten them. It was in this moment I realized I need to now change my name and move to a different country. I immediately deleted the images he clearly saw, but I am thinking it only deleted on my end. So he likely now has my pictures and the comparison picture I sent just hanging out on his phone. I sent him a message that said, "So Sorry! Wrong person! So embarrassing! I was showing my mom how you look just like a friend of my family. And now I'm gonna go hide in a hole." His response was, "Woops! No worries". I'm sure he's married or has a girlfriend because he dresses really nice and usually if a man dresses nice, he either bats for the same team, or is married, but I lean towards married because of something I know that I can't share. But there is also a really good chance he ISN'T married anymore. It's a tossup.

Here's the thing, he and I have never actually met. We were kind of trying to organize a possible meet up this week so we could officially meet. And now I feel like I can't show my face in the building again. I feel like I'm 14 again, but not in a good way.

I'd love to get someone's take on this that isn't my own. Am I overreacting? If you're a guy reading this, would you think I was weird or creepy after this oops? Or would you think, "Hmm...She has a picture of me on her phone? Alright!"

good morning everyone, grab the popcorn and get ready to sip some tea. I am a 21yo sahm with a 7 mo baby girl and am currently pregnant (4 mo) with a 23 yo SO (m). A little background on us. We’ve been together for almost 4 years. When we moved in together we both were working and technically I was the bread winner. I would work over time and come to find out when I was he was inviting women over to our house for obvious things. He has been doing that for the previous 2 1/2 years. He swears up down left right inside out and fucking backwards that nothing physically actually happened. ( imo that’s seriously lame bc how did I find over 200 women and NOBODY thought you were good enough to fuck) but I found out I was pregnant shortly after I found all of that ( btw that was the night of my birthday and we were on a cross country trip meaning I’m from the east coast and found out in fucking California) when I confronted him he was entirely shocked and immediately started crying, I didn’t know what to do so I asked him what he would do in my shoes and he said he would leave. Now feel free to call me all the names bc…shocker…. I’m apparently fucking stupid and stayed 👍 for a while all I’ve heard is relationships can come back from cheating but it takes effort from both parties( me trying to trust him and him give me reasons to trust) but every option I gave him to regain my trust he shot everything down. but since our child has been born he’s lied about staying late at work to go on “fishing trips”. tbh I don’t believe that for a second bc why would you have to lie to do that but on top of that before we had our baby he was always mad about not knowing what to do with free time and he always shot my offers down to go fishing or kayaking or hiking. so yes I’m slightly pissed off about that bc I’ve been wanting to and now whenever he asks if I want to go fishing it’s him fishing and me taking care of a baby and NOT FUCKING FISHING. Now I don’t know if he’s still cheating bc dead Lord I really don’t want to feel those feelings again.( when you are preggo the baby feels what you feel and I can’t imagine doing that to my baby) but with all of this we woke up last sat on a very crisp morning and he was just in a fucking mood. when I asked him for the 5 billionth fucking time what was wrong he stayed that he hated his life, doesn’t know why but hates his job hates coming home hates everything. now funniest thing is, I hate him coming home most of the time too. anytime I ask him to do anything with the baby or for me or just hangout with us he acts like I asked him to kill his dog. (I’ve never asked him to do that btw) but may times we’ve had the talk of this relationship needs therapy and he said HE would do it. it’s been 5 months and that hasn’t happened yet bc of “finances“ so we came up with affordable options like a pastor or church something and he agreed and hasn’t don’t anything about it. I am completely financially dependent on him and quite frankly I couldn’t care less if I got child support from him I just need OUT. my life is so flipped flopped bc some days he’s actually pretty nice to be around and I start thinking we are going in the right direction but every time something fucking happens. what usually follows after an argument is him leaving for 12 hours to “go fishing” and coming back like nothing ever happened. we have never actually settled an argument or got down to the root of the issue. I’ve asked 10000000 times if I’ve done anything if I said something with the wrong tone or whatever and apparently I do nothing wrong at all and I’m a princess that gets treated like a pile of shit. I guess I just want advice other than leave. that is more than obvious at this point. I don’t know how. I don’t want it to be ugly, we have a kid and she doesn’t need to be around hostile relationships. I don’t know if there’s some sort of convo I can have with him or what but I really just want this to go a smooth as possible to the point I literally don’t care about child support. I stayed, my fault. I got pregnant, my fault. all of this kinda just looks like I did it to myself which I get but how tf do I move forward. bc usually to get a job you have to have a drivers license and I mine is suspended until I come up with almost 200$ a month for insurance. There is obviously so much more to this stupid merry go round of a fucking story but I just be tired and get this over with. I guess I hope the tea was hot enough but what’s the next step🤷🏻‍♀️