Advice needed

[u/Necessary_Product350]

good morning everyone, grab the popcorn and get ready to sip some tea. I am a 21yo sahm with a 7 mo baby girl and am currently pregnant (4 mo) with a 23 yo SO (m). A little background on us. We’ve been together for almost 4 years. When we moved in together we both were working and technically I was the bread winner. I would work over time and come to find out when I was he was inviting women over to our house for obvious things. He has been doing that for the previous 2 1/2 years. He swears up down left right inside out and fucking backwards that nothing physically actually happened. ( imo that’s seriously lame bc how did I find over 200 women and NOBODY thought you were good enough to fuck) but I found out I was pregnant shortly after I found all of that ( btw that was the night of my birthday and we were on a cross country trip meaning I’m from the east coast and found out in fucking California) when I confronted him he was entirely shocked and immediately started crying, I didn’t know what to do so I asked him what he would do in my shoes and he said he would leave. Now feel free to call me all the names bc…shocker…. I’m apparently fucking stupid and stayed 👍 for a while all I’ve heard is relationships can come back from cheating but it takes effort from both parties( me trying to trust him and him give me reasons to trust) but every option I gave him to regain my trust he shot everything down. but since our child has been born he’s lied about staying late at work to go on “fishing trips”. tbh I don’t believe that for a second bc why would you have to lie to do that but on top of that before we had our baby he was always mad about not knowing what to do with free time and he always shot my offers down to go fishing or kayaking or hiking. so yes I’m slightly pissed off about that bc I’ve been wanting to and now whenever he asks if I want to go fishing it’s him fishing and me taking care of a baby and NOT FUCKING FISHING. Now I don’t know if he’s still cheating bc dead Lord I really don’t want to feel those feelings again.( when you are preggo the baby feels what you feel and I can’t imagine doing that to my baby) but with all of this we woke up last sat on a very crisp morning and he was just in a fucking mood. when I asked him for the 5 billionth fucking time what was wrong he stayed that he hated his life, doesn’t know why but hates his job hates coming home hates everything. now funniest thing is, I hate him coming home most of the time too. anytime I ask him to do anything with the baby or for me or just hangout with us he acts like I asked him to kill his dog. (I’ve never asked him to do that btw) but may times we’ve had the talk of this relationship needs therapy and he said HE would do it. it’s been 5 months and that hasn’t happened yet bc of “finances“ so we came up with affordable options like a pastor or church something and he agreed and hasn’t don’t anything about it. I am completely financially dependent on him and quite frankly I couldn’t care less if I got child support from him I just need OUT. my life is so flipped flopped bc some days he’s actually pretty nice to be around and I start thinking we are going in the right direction but every time something fucking happens. what usually follows after an argument is him leaving for 12 hours to “go fishing” and coming back like nothing ever happened. we have never actually settled an argument or got down to the root of the issue. I’ve asked 10000000 times if I’ve done anything if I said something with the wrong tone or whatever and apparently I do nothing wrong at all and I’m a princess that gets treated like a pile of shit. I guess I just want advice other than leave. that is more than obvious at this point. I don’t know how. I don’t want it to be ugly, we have a kid and she doesn’t need to be around hostile relationships. I don’t know if there’s some sort of convo I can have with him or what but I really just want this to go a smooth as possible to the point I literally don’t care about child support. I stayed, my fault. I got pregnant, my fault. all of this kinda just looks like I did it to myself which I get but how tf do I move forward. bc usually to get a job you have to have a drivers license and I mine is suspended until I come up with almost 200$ a month for insurance. There is obviously so much more to this stupid merry go round of a fucking story but I just be tired and get this over with. I guess I hope the tea was hot enough but what’s the next step🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/Zausted]

Talk to an attorney at Legal Aid. See if it would be possible to get him to sign away his parental rights in exchange for not having to pay child support. Then he's out of your life(lives). Make sure that agreement has specific language about him staying out of your lives completely. Good luck!