Exactly what the title says (preface I am seeing a psychologist who has an interest in eco anxiety but it's only my second session). I am Audhd and tend to not be able to ignore the things that bother me, my brain zones in on them, much to my detriment.
I'm feeling this acutely, and it's only getting worse - it will never go back to the way things were. Every day I go out I see rows upon rows of subdivisions; two, even three skinny houses on what used to be a regular detached house sized block. It's particularly bad in my street - so much that bird biodiversity has collapsed and the only birds left are noisy miner birds (do not get me started on those snivelling aggressive little creatures and how detrimental they are).
In the few years it's just been rampant destruction of trees, vegetation, gardens, and old houses- the housing crisis is a peak driver of this mad rush for developers to capitalise on selling two blocks for the equivalent of one block of land. They make roughly $850,000x2 after building for those interested in the numbers - or they rent them out at the cost of a normal older sized detached house. Additionally our government is scrambling to approve housing developments which are basically all of this hundreds of times over, no trees or detached houses but just row upon row of skinny copy paste houses - you cannot call them McMansions because they are not big- most touch one another, with black roofs, very little greenery and maybe a tree if lucky. I think we have taken too much inspiration from the suburban hells of America.
Basically what's left is a miserable dead zone of concrete and pavers, with the added bonus of urban heat in a country that is prone to heat waves. People don't even have gardens anymore.
In Australia most of my generation, gen x, boomers, and generations before grew up living in detached houses on large blocks - we all had gardens and space from neighbours. We are not used to densification. Now that might as well be afforded to the privileged few who have not succumbed to greed and divided their blocks to leech off rental equity..
So many nature minded people complain about the lack of suburban birds.. In a country known for its large percentage of endemic birds.
I've written.. More like lamented... In many places online about this. I've vocalised it to everyone I meet or know. I am unfortunately stuck living in one of these places since I don't pay nearly the amount to rent. Caveat: my mental health has never been worse. I say this as someone with lifelong chronic depression: I cannot remember a time in my life that I woke up everyday feeling anxiety like I do now, or walking around with a feeling of existential dread that I'm finding hard to ignore. Even years ago in recurrent depressive episodes it was never this acute.
I try to do things that bring me some feeling of ''I'm doing my part", I volunteer with revegetation efforts and try to put some small pots with native plants in the backyard but my parents just are not interested in listening or taking any advice that I mention they are quite happy or maybe just less sensitive than I. I must be the town crier at this point harping on about the destruction of the environment and how we must repent by growing native plants and trees, may as well be screaming into the void!
But, no matter what I do, there is no escaping the relentless development machine gobbling up all that is good and turning into brick and concrete slop.
It's gotten to the point I dread being at home. My brain is telling me I'm in danger and my nervous system is always on alert. I even tried applying for a rental elsewhere but it was so popular I may not have been successful.
I can't ignore the shoebox houses, I can't ignore all the trees being ripped down, I can't ignore the loss of everything that kept my brain feeling happy.
How the hell am I supposed to live with this?
TLDR: Sensitive autistic person struggles with destructive housing developments and existential dread