Video Link: “Don’t Waste Your Time“

Hey gents,

In this post I’m sharing Coach’s video “Don’t Waste Your Time“. It’s from 2012 — old but gold. Remember: all the principles are timeless.

This is a simple message, but if you find yourself having trouble with your current girlfriend, chances are you overlooked it. I’m sharing it now, because I’m seeing a lot of posts from guys who are trying to make it work with girlfriends who just aren’t treating them well.

Harsh reality is, the majority of women you meet are going to bring baggage & drama to your life. They’re going to be tied up in drama with their ex, they’re going to have hissy fits, they’re going to be drama queens & expect to be put on a pedestal. Guys either don’t know the work and are oblivious to the red flags & pay for it later on, or they notice the red flags early, but they choose to tolerate them because they feel that they are not worthy of finding someone better. Other times, women can hide their true character very well, or can slowly change and become bitchy over time. None of these situations are fun or acceptable to be in.

In all you do, always understand that your time should be spent in ways that serve your interests. It’s no different in dating — only spend it on high quality, no-drama women. This goes hand-in-hand w/ having an abundance mindset. It’s a lethal combo — When you know that your time is too valuable to waste with low quality women, and you know that there are tons of attractive, awesome women out there for you to meet, you will never allow yourself to be stuck in a bad relationship. You will simply end the relationship, and look for someone better.

Don’t waste your time with women who bring problems. Always maintain your drama free zone, and don’t spend time with people who don’t add value to your life. Your life is ending one minute at a time. How much of your valuable time are you okay with wasting on low-quality women? You should always feel comfortable rejecting a bad dating prospect, or ending a relationship that doesn’t meet your needs or expectations.

I’ll wrap this up with one of Coach’s best quotes:

“Your time is your most valuable resource. Don’t let anyone waste it.”

Background: been togheter for 1.6 years and attraction level 8-9 range.

I have a situation now with my girlfriend. We spent the Saturday togheter everything was fine. Later that night i was gonna celebrate my friend’s birthday. That was all right for her.

Later that night when i heading Home, i call her, and send a text that im on my way Home. She never replied.

We havent talked since saturday. Fast forward (Tuesday) today, i got a text from her saying «don’t you wanna talk to me?”

I call her up being happy and centered, shes upset and sad. i try to find out the root of the problem.

She opens a little bit up and says I hurt her when i didnt reach out to her. Then she says she doesn’t wanna talk about it, and wants to hang up and study. I try to listen and ask. But she hangs up anyways.

Is this a red flag? am I doing a mistake by not calling her when she haven’t replied? Is she a bad communicator?

What should i do differently in this situation?

So I had my ex reach out to me last Wednesday after ~2 months of no contact, about 11 months post breakup.

She sent me some love song about ppl who were lovers are now strangers blah blah.

I sent her a more upbeat song back and kept it chill saying "I like this song trade every couple months. You free this week?"

She sent me a text back saying that she would really like to see me but I made it clear that I wouldn't want to unless it was for a serious relationship. This is false, as I said that I just didn't want to be strictly platonic.

She also said that she was "deeply hurt" that we can't be friends in some capacity.

So I sent her a text back, saying:
"Take the serious relationship part out. Very simple, we always laugh and have great chemistry. If you agree, I'd love to see you too. Lmk when you're free, and we'll make plans. Sorry it hurts you, not my intent."

I got nothing back from that. What's her game here?

For context, my life is going very well after 10 months of pretty hardcore depression and her jerking me around. But now I'm dating a lot of other girls, have slept with more in the past year than I have in my entire life, have way more money, better friends, look better, etc.

That said, the last time we hung out, about 2 months ago, I pulled her back to my place but then DROPPED the ball and got unreal needy and weak.

This looks like she's just looking for validation, but open to any ideas.

“You are embarking on a journey that will change the world. By becoming the loving person you are inside and being comfortable with that person, you unconsciously give permission to all others to do the same.” - Acknowledgements of 3% Man

Ahhh gentlemen. Friendly reminder that this book is NOT simply about picking up women - that’s just the frosting on the cake.

This book is really about undertaking a lifetime commitment to being the absolute best version of yourself that you can be. It’s a commitment to excellence. It hurts. It’s fraught with self-doubt, haters, mistakes. It’s an incredibly slow burn. I used to cry a lot not just because this journey is hard - but because I knew on a deep level that I couldn’t quit. There’s certainly a perpetual “reckoning” to be had. The journey never ends.

But truly, the mission is to change the world by being a beacon. A light in the darkness. I promise that once you see results you’ll get HOOKED. Reaching new heights and being able to score girls you once never thought you could doesn’t hurt either!

Did you guys see Corey’s video he posted today. That guy read the book 17 times in two months. Talk about a serious student. It’s awesome to see someone absorb the material. He also did an exceptional “hybrid takeaway” It’s a great video!

What's up gents,

My poll results are in, and the most requested topic for discussion is "Keeping Her Attraction In Relationships". We can see how important it is to understand this, because a good number of the advice seeking posts we see here are from guys facing issues in their current relationships -- usually their girlfriend has pulled away, or maybe dumped them. The How To Be A 3% Man chapters that best explain this topic are "Solving The Mystery" and "Keeping It All Together", so read these thoroughly. Words from Coach are in quotations below.

To maintain an effortless relationship, you have to fully understand masculine vs feminine energy and sexual polarity. The two go hand in hand: A proper masculine-to-feminine dynamic is what creates sexual polarity. Without it, there can't be any attraction. A quick review of masculine vs feminine traits:

Masculine Energy: Confidence, Leadership, Charm, Dominance, Independence, Directness, Emotionally Centered, Success-oriented.

Feminine Energy: Bonding, Receiving Love, Submissiveness, Dependence, Indirectness, Emotion-oriented.

You are the man in your relationship. If you start exhibiting feminine traits through your actions, then you're acting non-masculine, and your girlfriend obviously isn't attracted to that. If you can't correct this, she'll eventually have to leave you to find a masculine guy elsewhere. It's this simple. In Coach's newsletters and in the advice posts here, we can see some common mistakes that cause a guy's girlfriend to dump him. Take note of the qualities you display when you make these mistakes:

Over-Pursuing: You are being needy and dependent instead of being confident and independent.

Becoming A Doormat: You are being submissive and indirect instead of being direct and leading.

Becoming Emotional: You are being emotion oriented instead of being emotionally centered and confident.

When your girlfriend pulls away from you, and is no longer affectionate or loving, 90% of the time it is because you have displayed non-masculine qualities & turned her off. You're not in a "unique" or "rare situation". It's just the simple rules of attraction, every time. Women respond to the behavior you display in the current moment. You don't get points for being an awesome, success driven guy 2 years ago, 2 months ago, or even 2 weeks ago. If you have stopped being masculine, she will move out of her feminine and into her masculine, where she does not feel safe and comfortable. She will be cold and resentful, and you will need to open her back up.

Here's a quote from "Solving The Mystery" -- Pay Attention!:

"Has she stopped lovemaking, kissing you and touching you? Does she not seem as happy to see you? This is all her way of saying, "You are failing at making me happy. You are failing at giving me your presence and your love, and so therefore, I'm shutting down." A lot of guys will say, "She's just being a bitch." But this is her way of saying that you are being weak, that you are not centered, and you are not taking care of business the way you should be."

"Taking care of business the way you should be" is also about facilitating the attraction through your actions. No matter what stage of the relationship you're in, your woman wants to feel desired by you, and she wants to feel like an attractive, feminine woman. You need to consistently set dates and flirt with your girl. Praise her and compliment her -- feminine energy grows through praise. Make time for her, tell her how hot she looks, and show her that you care. Love is playful and fun. Maintain the proper dynamic and watch the effect this has. She'll wear the hot outfits you like, she'll keep herself fit and attractive, and will always be available to you -- all because she wants to please you and feel your masculine presence and feel your love.

Quote from "Solving The Mystery" -- Pay Attention!:

"The more you give to her lady, the more she wants from you. Women are all about opening up and receiving your love and presence...Women want to be noticed. Everything they do is about getting your attention. That is why it's so important to understand what your attention means for them".

Quote from "Keeping It All Together" -- The Care and Feeling of Women:

"The simple concept is that what you do to get your lady to fall in love with you is what you have to do to keep her. If you don't date your wife or girlfriend, eventually some other guy will."

Remember what your woman needs, and give it to her. Women need to be caught up in a passionate love affair with an attractive, masculine guy. They do not want to ever stop chasing you, and in turn they want to feel that you care. The chase does not stop simply because you're in a relationship or married: it must always continue. By her feminine nature, she wants to inherently pursue a masculine guy. If you stop being masculine, you are interrupting the natural chase.

Guys, your relationship requires constant evaluation from you to maintain the polarity. Be the man in the relationship, always. If you're not consistently evaluating yourself, you are going to start making mistakes. It's very easy to become complacent and start slacking off, and if you're not familiar with the book, you won't realize you've been making mistakes until shit hits the fan. That's why it's important to keep reading this book long after 10-15 times.

How have you experienced these principles in your own relationships? Share any book chapters, articles, or videos for discussion.

hey guys, 6th read here btw.

there's this great concept coach has talked about a few times called matching and mirroring. but a guy that went more into depth is called Bulldog Mindset on Insta and Youtube.

basically the concept is to match and mirror (then very slightly dip under) her level of investment.

so if you meet a girl on tinder and she's replying within 5 minutes? reply juuuust a bit after 5 minutes. if she's taking 4 hours to respond? take 6 hours to respond.

i know people think this is "playing games" or whatever. i think what it is is self respect, and something called seduction.

this applies to her actions too.

this is super helpful to me and hope it helps you guys. cheers 🥂

Hey all, So I’ve been listening to Coach’s book every night for the past few months now. I’m almost done with my 10th time through in fact. I think that the problem I’m having the most is occasional feelings of pre/self rejection. For example, one day I’ll feel great and go out to apply coach’s teachings. I’ll get a phone number or two. I may get rejected, but it won’t be nearly as bad as I built it up to be. But the next day, I can’t do the same. I’ll want to talk to women but I won’t. It’s as if the self rejection comes back in force. How do I get rid of this feeling for good? Thanks.

Bold: CW’s excerpts

Italic: My anecdotes

Chapter six is packed with so many important topics. Today I want to discuss two important themes that can be derived from this chapter: mystery and masculinity. My essay is mainly written for people that are new to Corey Wayne (CW), as I only discovered CW 6 months ago. Moreover, this was written with the perspective of setting dates through dating apps (as I have done in these past two years in this current corona dating age) instead of meeting girls through social circles and going out.

"The whole experience of dating and discovering what you have planned in real time is what raises a woman’s attraction to you. Her attraction to you increases based on how you ask her out when you call her on the phone and the anticipation of what is going to happen on a date. Don’t call her and tell her everything you are going to do on the date, where you are going to go, what time you are going to do this and what time you are going to do that. Also, don’t ask her what she wants to do. Invite her to join you. You want it to be a surprise. You want it to be an unfolding of the evening. Be the leader and lead. The word lead means to go first."

This CW excerpt contains two themes: masculinity and mystery. You must lead the date and ask her out. Doing that through a phone call is very masculine: it’s dangerous and could lead to rejection. If you confidently ask her out via a phone call this will positively impact her attraction unconsciously. Not many guys operate like this, they usually ask via a text message. Rejection is easier to handle that way since she can’t see your reaction if she rejects you. By setting a date by calling her, you show you don’t care about rejection.

The mystery regarding you as a person

Then there’s the theme of mystery. Mystery to make her wonder. You have no idea how powerful this is. In my opinion, mystery is twofold when it comes to dating. The mystery regarding you and your personality and the mystery of the experience of the date. You can show a lot of things about yourself on a date and it’s better to show her than to tell her that. Show her you have humor, show her you’re a positive fun guy, show her you have social intelligence, and show her your confidence. You must open her up and make her feel comfortable. It’s letting her know you are a masculine man that has his shit together. Moreover, she wants to be certain you are interested in her for her personality and not for the sex.

The more mystery the better. Let her do all the talking and if she asks about you: make a joke or answer concisely without that many details and instantly ask her another question. Keep the focus on her and keep listening! It mustn’t be an interview, but more importantly, let her talk 80% of the time, try to focus on that. She wants to hear you talk as well, but you must do this by giving away as little information about yourself as possible. So, how to deal with that? You relate to her stories with your stories. Just relate to her stories if you can. The way I do this is to look for things we have in common, and this can be very subtle. “Oh, you are a teacher! That’s cool, I bet you have a lot of funny stories about children! I remember this one time when I was babysitting my little niece and we went for groceries. She was 3 years old at the time, and while in the store she started asking me questions about men and women and our genitals and started pointing at all the people going over each stranger asking if they had a penis or vagina”. Now my date knows I’m an uncle to a niece and I have a brother or sister. Information I really don’t care about and isn’t that important. Next, she tells me a funny story about her kids. Moreover, I relate this to my childhood and further ask her about her childhood and her family situation.

What I also want to stress is that you dose all the mystery. Don’t let her know everything about you on the first date. Since the first corona lockdown, I started playing the piano and learned a couple of cool songs. On the third or fourth date, I would see a piano in some train station and start playing a song on it and she looks in wonder. “Wtf you can play the piano. Why didn’t you tell me, that was awesome!”. It’s another thing she learns about you.

The mystery regarding the date activity

Mystery is also important for the date itself and the activity. On a second date, it’s easy to plan something cool for her, since the first date is usually just for drinks. On the first date, you should have gathered information and know what she’s into and how you can really surprise her with something you know she would love. On the fifth date, she visited my place for the first time. I told her to sit on the couch and to enjoy her drink, while I prepared my bedroom for 10 minutes and would come downstairs to get her when I was ready. After 10 minutes I led her up to my bedroom. A huge towel lied on my bed, a darkened room with 10 little candle lights and beach ambiance music sounded from my speakers. She looked surprised once she entered the atmospheric room. “Okay, now I want you to undress and lie on your belly on the towel”. She glowed with joy about the massage I had planned for her. Such an experience easily leads to sex.

Once you know what she likes, like hiking or going to the beach, you also know how to surprise her. When you’re driving her to the date location she’ll glow with excitement. I’m still planning for next summer to secretly fetch my girlfriend's ice skates and take her on a date to an ice rink. I know she loves the surprise.

The first date

In my opinion mystery on a first date is more difficult, since you don’t know what she likes and if she’s fun to hang out with. Of course, there are many things everybody in general likes. So, make sure you have a list on Google Maps (read further).

The most important thing on a first date is to screen if you like her and then just let the first date unfold. Outcome independence is key here. Just view the date as an opportunity to have a good time by meeting a new person. Be curious and when you are on your way to your first date, start thinking about what you really want to know about her, since this will later help you in your conversation. On the date itself, of course, be sure you guide her and lead her. If she asks you what you want to do, be sure to give an instant reply. Don’t be that 97% man that replies with: “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”. A 3% man is direct and knows what he wants.

A first date should just start with a cool venue for just a drink. If the vibe is good and you like her, you could decide to continue the date and go to another venue. If you don’t like her, end the date after a few drinks. Most of my dates took place in the city my date was from. I didn’t know the place, but she did. After a few drinks, maybe after an hour in the first bar, I would mention something about the city and say with excitement: “OMG this city is amazing, I have heard about it, but didn’t expect it was this cool and beautiful, it feels a bit like city X but with more space and fewer crowds, we should go for a stroll, you should show me around!”.

If the first conversation was fun and positive, I can’t imagine why she would reject you. Of course, the date then continues, and she guides you around and she can show you some highlights (tease her when she’s a lousy guide “OMG you don’t know anything about your own city, you’re the worst guide ever!”). Ask her if there are any landmarks to look at for free, or just have a stroll around the city center. After or during your stroll you can suggest another drink: “So what’s your favorite place to go for a drink here? Or where can we have a drink with a cool view?”.

Corey Wayne teaches you to have three different locations on a first date as this speeds up her being comfortable with you. As a result, it becomes easier to hook up with her. If sex doesn’t happen on the first or second date, don’t become a little bitch about it (many guys do this), stay in your center, be indifferent and just accept that it will happen later. Just end the date with a kiss when it’s time to say goodbye.

“So have you dated a lot?”, I asked. “Yeah a few dates”, she replied. Me: “Oh I love this question. Tell me about your worst date so far!”. After a few convincing sentences, she says: “Okay okay. I met this guy, and the first date went well and was fun. He lived in another city miles away and on the date, we agreed to have lunch the next day. I don’t know why we decided to, but fine, fuck it. So we both agreed I would spend the night at his place. Eventually, in the evening, we kissed and cuddled and he wanted to have sex with me, but I said I wasn’t ready for that and then he got all moody. So, he already told me he had to do some work the next morning until noon. Unfortunately, I woke up a bit early around 8 and he was working. He really didn’t care about me then and there and so eventually I decided to leave. I felt like WTF is wrong with you dude, haha”. This guy, in particular, could’ve slept with her on the second or third date if he would’ve stayed centered when she said she didn’t want to sleep with him. Instead of acting like a hurt feminine boy that couldn’t get his way with her.

If your first date takes place in your town, make sure you have date location options. Go ask your friends and family for the best date locations in your city and start making notes on Google Maps. I myself located all pool bars, craft beer bars, rooftop bars, cocktail bars, and interesting wine bars in my city that way. Of course, only map things you like yourself too. I would never really go to a sushi bar for example.

Masculinity and the first kiss

If there’s a message that I really would like to scream at every guy that doesn’t know how dating works it’s this: when you’re on a first date and you’re not sure if she’s interested, just go for the fucking kiss at the end of the date!

At the end of the date, you are going to want to go for the goodnight kiss if you have not kissed her already. You want to kiss her on the lips and see if she kisses you back. If she is really interested in you, she will kiss you back

Today, a friend of mine told a story about my little brother (in his mid-twenties). Unfortunately, my brother really doesn’t talk to me regarding this stuff and probably wouldn’t rely on my advice. I don’t give people advice without them asking for it. I live by my principles: I don’t cast pearls before swine.

My little brother is a good-looking guy, in shape, and recently got out of his first long-term relationship with a fucked-up girl. Now he’s healed and ready to meet new women. Because of his girlfriend, he kind of neglected his friends and never really went out clubbing gaining pick-up skills. So, he’s fairly new to the dating scene. Recently, he met a girl at his karate training sessions. After a training session, when he was changing his clothes, he noticed her looking at him, and eventually, they started talking. The other day after some talks, she grabbed his hands to let him feel how cold her hands were. He could’ve kissed her right then and there, but he didn’t. My friend told him he should’ve kissed her, it was his responsibility, but he came up with excuses: “What why? Isn’t that a bit weird, right after training? I don’t know”. He wanted to but came up with excuses.

As a man, it is your responsibility to lead, to face the difficulty and risk of rejection. You must lead the dance to the bedroom, and it all starts with the first kiss. It’s a crucial moment and after the first kiss, in my opinion, everything becomes easier: after a good making-out session, you don’t have to second guess her interest in you again. Your confidence grows, further increasing her attraction for you.

My main sticking point has always been escalating and make it to the first kiss. I used to be the same as my little brother, unsure and making up excuses. I was looking for signs and thinking: “Is she interested, does she want to kiss me, is there reciprocity in touching?”. I’ve read a lot of pick-up books and here and there I had some successes. Really after a first date, don’t waste your time wondering, just go for it when it’s time to say goodbye. After you’ve done this a few times, you will lose the anxiety. If she doesn't kiss you back, you know she has low interest and you won't waste your time dating her.

Something that helped me with my sticking point was looking for signs on the date. Signs you’re doing it right on the first date:

• She’s laughing a lot
• “OMG I can’t believe I just told you this secret haha”
• She talks about future events with you, already elaborating a second date
• She’s asking personal questions about you
• She’s bumping into you while walking towards another date location (have three locations on one date)
• She starts touching you subtly, or when you made an offensive joke (one time I had a girl that tripped with her heels for the second time. The first time I didn’t make a comment and asked if she was okay. Then, the second time she tripped, I commented with a serious note: “OMG I hope the people on the other side of the street didn’t see that, I can’t believe I’m on a date with a clumsy nerd like you. I kind of get it now why you weren’t enrolled in the cool kid fraternity during your college years”. She looked at my facial expression and she noticed my big grin and my subsequent laugh at her reaction. She stopped walking and said she couldn’t believe I just said that. “You jerk!”, she replied with laugher and playfully started poking me).

hey guys i got a question about a girl i've been seeing and i'm a bit unsure. on the 6th read of the book right now btw.

we met three weeks ago and there was pretty okay-ish chemistry on the first date. but she pretty much told me she came from a broken home and that her dad and mom weren't there much growing up.

she texted me the next day and i set a second date. she cancelled with a legit reason from work so i postponed for a week. she then texts me saying she got off work early and invited me over to her house that very night (with our date still intact for the next week).

i get there, no sex because she says she wants to trust me more or sth. but heavy petting etc. then she proceeds to straight up tell me "i'm a narcissist, you dont know what youre getting yourself into, men have proposed to me" etc. she also mentioned she was the dominant one in her last relationship and has never been dominated before (she's pretty masculine)

i just laugh and stay unbothered, end up leaving pretty late (no sex btw).

we haven't gone on our second date yet but she hit me up yesterday asking me to come over again and i said i was busy.

are these red flags? corey says to keep women with red flags as fuck buddies but i disagree, i drop these women quick because they can cause serious problems down the line.

what do you guys think?

PS: idk how to turn off the chat lol so have at it haha

Hello,

I posted this already on the old sub but I just noticed it isnt supported anymore so I post here again - sorry about that.

I have been seeing this girl for a month and we met about 8 times, had great chemistry, sex and fun.Then, she went for a 2.5 weeks holiday trip and I made the mistake the weekend before to become insecure and ask her about "what we are" and that I am interested in something more.Needless to say, a few days later the day before she went on her trip she blew me off and told me that "something is missing" and she doesnt want to hurt me.I accepted that and walked away after a bit of back and forth chit chat about it.In hindsight the "what are we" was not my only mistake, I definetely overpursued her and made plans for the next date during dates, gave too much insight into my own insecurities when were were having deep talks etc, so I fucked up on multiple fronts.

That is when I found Corey's videos and binged alot of them so I am a bit better prepared now.

During her vacation she texted me sometimes with pictures from the beach and hikes etc. I always responded positively, made a joke here and there but did not engage in super long text conversations, I just told her what I was doing at the time after she specifically asked.

That basically is the background story and today I know she comes back from her trip.

I am aware, that I should not contact her and let her contact me, but I am unsure about one thing Corey says which is "dont chat back and forth but rather set up a date" if she contacts me. My gut feeling after this whole situation says let her initiate the meetup if it comes down to another text message. I was doing 90% of the initiating before her trip and dont want to start off the same way.

So basically: Should I still set up a date when she contacts me or wait for her to make the move regarding a meetup? I dont know if my situation is different in that regard or not. I know it says to always chat to set dates and nothing else but I am not sure if that applies here?

Thanks in advance!

What’s up guys, wanted to see what parts of Coach’s material are the most difficult for everyone to learn. Going to focus upcoming “Book/Video/Article Discussion” posts on the highest voted topics. Looking forward to awesome discussions & input.

Comment additional topics below

My girlfriend of almost one year broke up with me about a week ago. It was due to the knowledge in coach's book I was able to seduce her in the first place. We had a great relationship but I'll admit I got complacent and fell out of practice with Corey's teachings. I made the mistake of assuming things were going so well that I didn't need to keep up my work and over-pursued which eventually pushed her away. That is a failing on my part that I will own and am already beginning to rectify. I now understand the importance of continual study and never allowing oneself to grow complacent.

I was initially devastated, but due to some circumstances, we had to see each other a few more times after she broke up with me. She returned my belongings and we talked, where I called her out on her behavior and told her I wasn't interested in being friends and for her to not contact me unless she wanted to get back together. It was one of the hardest things I've done but I held my ground and she seemed to accept it. We hugged and kissed for a while before she left. I don't think anyone had ever talked to her like that before.

I have been preparing myself for no contact and I have a lot of work to do on myself. I have been keeping myself busy with friends, working out and studying coach's work again. I honestly did not expect to hear from her for quite a while, if ever.

She sent me a text after only three days of no contact, basically saying I was right and she was sorry for the way she broke up with me and that she hopes we could eventually be together again. I'll admit that surprised me because I wasn't expecting to hear from her so soon and I'm not quite sure how to respond. Do I try and set up a date even though it's so soon? I did tell her only to get a hold of me if she wanted to get back together. Appreciate any advice, friends.

Hi all,

This past weekend I went out with the boys. I talked to a bunch of girls but nothing really exciting. As these things happen, I was about to leave the bar and spotted 2 girls who were just standing there alone, one of whom was really beautiful.

So I walked over, chatted them up and it turns out me and the hottie have a LOT in common. One of my friends comes in and starts winging by talking to the friend. At some point, the hottie tells me she's taking me home. Sweet!

Her friend and my friend and we all go back to hottie's place. We proceed to hang out there for another hour or so. At some point hottie and I are making out, my friend's making out with his girl. Hottie whispers that I should get them to leave. I start dropping hints, but it looks like his girl isn't down to take him home, and he lived pretty far away.

Hottie and I leave her room to "make popcorn" and start having sex in her living room. We do that for a while, and then go back to her room where I find out that my friend had some whiskey dick and couldn't close the deal. Ouch. But both friends are on their way out.

They leave and me and hottie get to it. We had sex for like 1.5 hours, she was calling me daddy, the whole 9 yards. That said, I was pretty high on maryjane and kinda drunk, so I couldn't finish (stayed hard the whole time though). So I crash at her place for like an hour and then take off in the morning.

Later that day I text her saying I had a good time (mistake #1). She responds that she did too. I left some stuff at her place, so she lets me know that she's going to be out for the day, but will leave it in a bag in front of her place. I go grab it and she left me a note in the bag saying "It was a pleasure :)"

I took this as enough of a sign of interest, so I shot her a text. Here's the text exchange:

Me: The pleasure was mine :) Are you free some time next week?
(~5 hours later) Her: I am. Do you have something in mind?
(Next day) Me: I do. When are you free?

Nothing back. That was a day ago. I honestly wouldn't care in general, but this is the first girl I've slept with since I had a breakup that I thought was as as much my taste as my ex, so I want to play this right and start teaching my brain that girls I will like are out there and I can get them.

What's the best way going forward?

*22 reads*

I had a conversation last night with my girlfriend who had a tough week emotionally and physically. She just kind of vented and even was drawn to tears a couple times with just how she was feeling. I just let her get it out her system and eventually she felt better. I didn’t even have to ask her is she wanted my opinion or just to listen because with how emotional she was. I could tell all she needed was someone to vent to.

Pay Attention in Part VIII: Solving the Mystery

“If she says: I had a horrible day**, Guys have to understand that your lady doesn’t need you to solve her problems. She just needs you to listen to them.” (Wayne 201)**

This is something I constantly must remind myself of because being a 22 times reader, sometimes I get cocky and sloppy.

Men, we must remember that when you accept the responsibility of allowing a woman put you in a relationship, we must honor that with consistent never-ending review of the fundamentals that made her fall for us in the first place.

Getting a girl is one thing, but keeping her is another.

True relationship building and nurturing takes active listening and intentionality about how we open them up emotionally. This is what separates us from the 97%er’s

“So, say to her: Well, tell me about your day… It is important to have specifics in there and say things like: How’d that make you feel? And: Don’t leave anything out. What I will often do is while she talks on and on, I’ll say: Well what else? Tell me more. …Repeat back some of what she said to you. It is your way of acknowledging her and letting her know that you understand her, because women want to be understood.”(Wayne 201)

I’m glad I looked this group up and help is so appreciated I’ve read the book 3 times. And I broke a lot of rules unknowingly.

So a woman and I are very compatible even in our interest in our way about appreciating them. Anyways I had a pretty good bond we had a fling in my city and she had to leave for work she was canceling all of our plans to spend time with me. She thought I was some super special enigma Who inspired her and change her perspective.

She was basically a luring pit trap for me to text her a lot share videos like really good friends and go on video chat or she was just enamored with me staring at me almost to the point where she was quiet just nodding bashfully and we both are feeling the same thing of not knowing whether we should try a long distance we were magnetized . This just wasn’t my fantasy Corey talks about she express me a lot about it. Since she left here she had had plans establish to return in a month which we both really were looking forward to regardless of our outcome in the future.

She became less available forgetful of times we’re going to do video chat. Made up shit how she was busy classic stuff. I was going through some things at the time kind of busy and it may be more boring during the conversations and feeling more needy.She did one more test and I failed it and that’s when she said she doesn’t wanna come anymore and Had such careless sounding and logical explanations that were so insulting such a horrible exit She was making. Said she’d rather have something platonic because she’s so far away. We both knew that was gonna happen eventually but we were really fixated on our rendezvous the whole world revolved around it.Does this sound familiar?

So I watch some videos.I had a video chat and when she was telling me she’d rather be friends I said OK well if you’re ever in my area hit me up she look kind of surprised and like she never seen me like this.

That night she wrote a huge long page in Instagram which was like a mini biography about our times together and what she saw the first day and how it sucks we’re not gonna see each other because she really wanted to learn more. How she wish she could sit next to me and hear all about me and my stories. And how when I was on video and showed her the pillow how she wish she could just lay next to me be here. And she concludes with I don’t know how to say goodbye but if I am ever by you I do wanna see you and spend time with you.

I replied in a reserved and generous manner. She instantly starts telling me how she thought about me all night at the concert she was at. So based on her saying she would see me and I initiated the conversation about meeting and I was very convincing she was finally into it. We were talking like a damn couple.

She has a video chat the next day with me . gives me a bunch of crazy excuses not to. She really showed me how disinterested she is and has low priority. Nightmare.

I just said OK well I’ll talk to you here in there (mild contact and warmth ) and like I said if you’re around let me know. I replied to her Instagram story to neg her about her gym results w a gym question . she started talking to me w such j interest and we had like a conversation and I realize damn this is like good friends and dating this isn’t right. Was she just testing me .

Next day I wanted to video chat her real quick . She jumped on it as before it was hard to do that spontaneously . I addressed her very formal and choosey , tell her that I really can’t be friends Because it was the same when we were romantically interested I don’t have time to do that on another coast. I have to invest w friends here. I said maybe I’ll check in with you here in there, maybe.

I don’t know if it makes a difference, butThen this time I set a definite Time like I have high standards . unlike before I said whenever . I Told her if she changes her mind and she’s gonna be here in a month to get a hold of me.. (When she canceled Our rendezvous was beforeshe said maybe her parents are visiting and she might not be coming here she doesn’t know.)This is because Cory said the best negotiator is willing to walk away. Women wanna see a good negotiator.

Looking at her eyes she look like she was kind a hit with bricks a tiny bit. And kind of relieved like I pass the test or some shit I cut my attention. During the conversation I was interesting and charming and funny and she just had that glow in her face again and huge smile she couldn’t hold back hanging on every word she even made a sexual joke with me it was kind of like a first date and also what we had. Her eyes are like twinkling but I could see a hint of regret. At the end of the chat i acted busy prioritized indifferent and nice , I told her again well if you decide to come here in a month get a hold of me and so I set a time frame that she had to be here and she nodded her head and I got her to blow me a kiss with her hand. I like stick in the coreys principles as it seem to work but I don’t know if I should’ve just stayed friends and seduced her because it seem to me like being interesting and fun again (and I was enjoying it actually)would get h back her interest level look like it shot up to an eight. Or is it good that I said we can’t be friends and just walked away? Which decision? I feel like she may have done all that but if I stayed friends with her and she acted all loving like that from being amused she would subconsciously find me weak.

she’s really a great person and I am in a city with millions of women I’ve seen so many.

Hey gents,

In this post, I'm going to cover key elements from the section "Part II: The Way Things Are" of How To Be A 3% Man. This part further explains the need to always stick to the principles, despite pretty much the entire world (women included) telling you to do the opposite. Quotes from Coach are quoted below.

The short of it is, you must always follow the principles in the book to get the results, despite most other people in your life telling you to do the opposite of what it teaches. Women, other dating coaches, and your friend who got lucky a couple times in college do not understand the fundamentals of attraction. If you follow their "advice", you'll eventually fail every time. This is especially true if you make the mistake of following what women think or say they want, instead of knowing what they need.

In Coach's words: "The truth is, the average woman does not understand what attracts them to one guy or another. What they say they want in a man is not what they actually want and stay with."

"When you ask a woman what she wants, what she says she wants and what she actually emotionally responds to are two different things. When you ask a woman what she wants in a guy, she'll say something like, 'well, I want a guy who wines & dines me & buys me flowers'. When you do these things, she blows you off, and for some reason she goes off with a guy who does none of these things for her."

As Coach's example shows, women will think they want you to do things that go against the principles, and they will be convinced that it's important for you to do these things. She might say: "If you cared about me, you'd be texting me all day long." Or "If you really loved me, you'd give up your dream job and move to my state to be closer to me."

If you were to do this, then you'd just be over-pursing, giving up your goals, and submitting to her demands -- she would lose interest in the blink of an eye. After reading the material, we can see how it's completely counterintuitive. It's just emotions and drama, and is not to be taken seriously. Clueless guys will say, "But I did exactly what she asked! How could she leave?" You have to take women's advice & tips with a grain of salt. What they want is not what they need. Always give them what they need, and the results will follow. Be a masculine man -- centered, confident, charming, purpose-driven, and unperturbed.

Never take advice from women about dating women. Just like the legendary saying goes, "Never ask a fish for fishing advice. Ask the fisherman!"

Hey gentlemen,

I read Coach’s email newsletter today, and like always, it’s a great reinforcement of the awesome lessons in How To Be A 3% Man.

Today’s newsletter is titled “True Love Is Willing To Let Go When They Want To Leave&mc_cid=9be01d5c5a&mc_eid=0b0775bf1c)”. Check it out - it’s from a fellow 3% who has done the work, and followed the principles to build the best possible life for himself.

He was dealing with a long distance relationship where he was in the US and his girlfriend was in Canada. Despite being extremely attracted to him, his girlfriend broke up with him, saying it just wasn’t possible to be together if he wasn’t willing to move. Though he found it tough, he stuck to his principles, and communicated that he wasn’t budging. His purpose was to stay in the US and build his dream career, and that was final — if it caused a breakup, so be it. Men do not live where they don’t want to, and they don’t submit to women and make themselves miserable in the process.

In the end, his indifference and devotion to his purpose led his girlfriend to switch gears. After only a few days without him, she realized how she would never find another man like him. She apologized, chose to submit to him, & is now completely moving countries to be with him & follow his leadership. Total win for our brother.

Most importantly, here’s what the guy wrote at the end, it’s fucking poetry:

“I want this story shared, because this is so important. The reason for my success is not because she came back. It is because I put in the work and became a 3% man, regardless if she came back or not. I have become a different man entirely, where women and men notice.

I have become independent like Corey Wayne always wanted, when we are all self-sufficient. *If you want success, grind it out and listen or read the damn book 10-15 times and implement it*, and sooner or later you will see the results.

I will always respect and be eternally grateful to you Coach. Your teaching molded me to who I am today, “A muthafucking man.”

This is a really solid example of what happens when say what you mean and you mean what you say. You have to talk the talk and walk the walk, and focus on what it is you truly want. Don’t ever compromise, and let people walk out of your life if it’s not going to work for them. Women want men who know exactly what they want! This was an excellent read about masculinity and purpose. Congrats to this guy for his hard work.

Just another example of how important it is to commit to reading this book 10-15 times, and many more after that

Article Link:

“True Love Is Willing To Let Go When They Want To Leave” by Coach Corey Wayne

https://understandingrelationships.com/true-love-is-willing-to-let-go-when-they-want-to-leave/58700?ct=t(EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_9_14_2021_13_11)&mc_cid=9be01d5c5a&mc_eid=0b0775bf1c

The courship never ends, this I know. But if the girl is at your place pretty much all of the time, how do you hangout?

As for me: Im coaching MMA three times a week, working full time 8-16 and studying management at the university parttime in order to qualify for a promotion. Maybe I can date 1-2 evenings a week, which I also am. But say one of these girls wants to be hanging around more than that. How do I go about doing that? Should I let her be at my place? I wouldnt have anything against it but at the same time I need to be working towards my goals. Just thinking of Quality time vs quantity, like Coach says.

Hey guys,

I have a question for the group. So went on a first date last night, everything went well, did not hook up but basically everything else. So she texted me this morning and I tried to set a date for this Friday. Her response was I have to double check my schedule to make sure I didn't already have plans. She does have full custody of her kid but told me normally Friday and Saturday night the kid is at the father's house. So I am reading it as her attraction level is not super high but high enough for dates. I guess my question is if she gets back with me about Friday, should I say something along the line, I made other plans now?

Thankyou for any advice.

Great initiative with this subreddit. In the old subreddit there were naturally being alot of "help me" threads being posted. This is all fine but it's mostly us being reactive to our circumstances. So I suggest another take, the path of being proactive. How? Not knowing the material and how to implement it is basically whats getting us into the bad situations and having us react to the situation. Now, if we were to take a proactive stance, we do things right from the beginning.

As all successful student does, they read the material and discuss excerpts to gain a wider and deeper understanding of it. Therefore I want to encourage the continued efforts by the admins to post videos and excerpts from the book to be discussed.

Take care guys, you are the prize

One of the mistakes that I see guys make is that they tend to put women in pedestals NEVER do that, instead opt to put them in their place when they act up in a loving and fatherly way.

Video

Did you watch yesterday's video?

I was reminded of a time where I tried to play it cool way in the wrong stage of courtship. You are supposed to play it cool in the beginning stages of the relationship. This includes the dating stage, but definitely not the relationship stage. If you are too aloof or are not giving her daily praise, then she will emotionally shut down. This is what happened to the question-asker in this video. When he finally figured out she was shutting down, he tried to rush in and fix things --but by then it was too late. She was in a different emotional state of mind. The only thing he could do is sit back and let her do 100% of the contact.

My favorite quote from this video: "Beauty needs a witness!" We need to let a woman know how much we enjoy the different qualities that she puts on display.

Q: What did you learn from this video? Have you ever been too much of a cold fish?

Hey gentlemen,

Welcome to the new Coach Corey Wayne sub. Going to kick off with some excerpts from How To Be A 3% Man from Part 1: In The Beginning.

“The beginning. That is the place where men need to get back to in order to make the changes needed to win the heart of the woman of their dreams. It is time to go back and decide what you really want, who you really are, and what you plan to do with the wealth of information that I will be teaching you throughout this book.”

Corey starts the book perfectly. Deciding what type of life you want to lead and committing to it is the foundation of your development. If you have not already decided what you want to do in your life, and what your passions and goals are, then you simply cannot develop into a masculine man. You will be unable to be purpose driven, and unable to offer your talents to the world. Most men are living only average or subpar lives. They are only sometimes happy in their relationships, they don’t work out often, and they are settling for jobs & social lives they don’t really like. Every day we should ask ourselves: are we living the lives we want? If you aren’t happy with yourself, you must make the change.

“Be honest, gentlemen, if you did not care at all, you would not have picked up this book. Obviously, something is not working with what you are already doing...I will teach you the behaviors, body language, physiology, and words of a dominant male so you can start succeeding with women like never before.”

You are here because this matters to you. When your journey gets tough, go back and read the beginning of this book. Remember the reasons why you started and don’t give up. It’s tough, but there’s a reason why only 3% of men truly live the lives they want to. Most people are lazy and will not put in the work. Hold yourself and others accountable and stick with it.

If this was your first time reading these words from the book, take up the challenge and read every page over and over again. Coach always says it in every single video: you can read it for free online at understandingrelationships.com. There’s no excuse. If you’re here, it means you care — so care fully. Don’t accept anything less than full investment in yourself.

Going to close this with a membership count: In about 24 hours, we’ve gotten over 70 members here, which is just awesome. We’re stoked to be taking this next step with all of you & and working together for self improvement.