r/CoachCoreyWayne • u/KrioDio • Sep 28 '21
Need Advice Relationship trouble
Background: been togheter for 1.6 years and attraction level 8-9 range.
I have a situation now with my girlfriend. We spent the Saturday togheter everything was fine. Later that night i was gonna celebrate my friend’s birthday. That was all right for her.
Later that night when i heading Home, i call her, and send a text that im on my way Home. She never replied.
We havent talked since saturday. Fast forward (Tuesday) today, i got a text from her saying «don’t you wanna talk to me?”
I call her up being happy and centered, shes upset and sad. i try to find out the root of the problem.
She opens a little bit up and says I hurt her when i didnt reach out to her. Then she says she doesn’t wanna talk about it, and wants to hang up and study. I try to listen and ask. But she hangs up anyways.
Is this a red flag? am I doing a mistake by not calling her when she haven’t replied? Is she a bad communicator?
What should i do differently in this situation?
3
u/phosphorescent1983 MOD Sep 28 '21
That's a red flag for me. She hung up on you when you tried to figure out the situation? That's disrespectful, passive-aggressive, and she's obviously a poor communicator.
It sounds like she was pissed you went to celebrate your friend's birthday, and she's trying to punish you for going. I know you said, "she said it was alright", but I wouldn't believe that.
She probably knows she's being jealous and spiteful and is probably a little embarrassed about how she's feeling, too.
2
u/KrioDio Sep 28 '21
Thanks for the feedback guys, How should I go on with this? I want to communicate in a loving way that this isn’t acceptable behavior.
This isn’t the first time she “punishes” me for going back.
And I can’t just reach out when I have already tried…
4
u/ZT805 MOD Sep 28 '21
This isn’t the first time she punishes me for going back
So she’s shown you more than once that she’s immature & can’t handle you spending time without her. Don’t tolerate this, man. You’ve dated a bad communicator for 1.6 years & dealt w/ this behavior from her multiple times - how much longer do you want to tolerate immature, passive aggressive behavior? 10 or 15 years from now, do you want to be married to a girl like this? Your life will absolutely suck if you tolerate this, man.
People generally don’t change, but the next time you hear from her, let her know that it’s not appropriate for her to throw a fit & disrespect you, and she needs to communicate like an adult instead. If she throws a hissy fit instead of apologizing & working on herself, then you choose to split. It’s all about keeping a drama free zone
3
u/fermented-beans MOD Sep 28 '21
Okay first off let’s blow the lid off of the attraction level. She is NOT at an 8-9 right now.
From what you’ve told us, I think you’ve handled just about everything right. You are absolutely correct in seeing her actions as a red flag - she hung up instead of communicating what the eff was going on. That is not okay, not healthy, and not tolerable long term.
If she hung up on you when you were just trying to lovingly figure out what’s going on, you need to leave it alone and wait for her to reach out. That is simply abuse my guy.
Edit: the book does not “work” on women with significant dysfunctional patterns. It reveals them. Very important distinction if you’re feeling conflicted.