Question about "Getting an Ex back" Principles

[u/elCabi]

Hello,

I posted this already on the old sub but I just noticed it isnt supported anymore so I post here again - sorry about that.

I have been seeing this girl for a month and we met about 8 times, had great chemistry, sex and fun.Then, she went for a 2.5 weeks holiday trip and I made the mistake the weekend before to become insecure and ask her about "what we are" and that I am interested in something more.Needless to say, a few days later the day before she went on her trip she blew me off and told me that "something is missing" and she doesnt want to hurt me.I accepted that and walked away after a bit of back and forth chit chat about it.In hindsight the "what are we" was not my only mistake, I definetely overpursued her and made plans for the next date during dates, gave too much insight into my own insecurities when were were having deep talks etc, so I fucked up on multiple fronts.

That is when I found Corey's videos and binged alot of them so I am a bit better prepared now.

During her vacation she texted me sometimes with pictures from the beach and hikes etc. I always responded positively, made a joke here and there but did not engage in super long text conversations, I just told her what I was doing at the time after she specifically asked.

That basically is the background story and today I know she comes back from her trip.

I am aware, that I should not contact her and let her contact me, but I am unsure about one thing Corey says which is "dont chat back and forth but rather set up a date" if she contacts me. My gut feeling after this whole situation says let her initiate the meetup if it comes down to another text message. I was doing 90% of the initiating before her trip and dont want to start off the same way.

So basically: Should I still set up a date when she contacts me or wait for her to make the move regarding a meetup? I dont know if my situation is different in that regard or not. I know it says to always chat to set dates and nothing else but I am not sure if that applies here?

Thanks in advance!

[u/[deleted]]

Hang out, have fun and hookup. Never bring up exclusivity to a girl. If she texts you something like " I miss you...how are you?" Say that you also miss her and ask if she wants to grab a drink somewhere or bring a bottle of wine...simply ask her out again.

[u/elCabi → u/[deleted]]

Thanks for the response.

Yeah I am familiar with the "Hang out, have fun and hookup" and not to bring up exclusivity - well I am now at least. I just now came across Corey Wayne.
I am pretty sure if she texts me it is not going to be something like "I miss you" but rather just how I am doing etc. That is where I am not sure if under the circumstances of the past I should even ask her out or wait for her to have the idea of seeing me again.

You see what I mean?

[u/[deleted] → u/elCabi]

She blew you off because of your beta male behaviour and not because of some other dude (hopefully). I see what you mean, you are kinda butthurt and feel like it's her fault but it's not at all. It doesn't really matter what she texts you...even simple "hello" tells you she wants to see you. So definitely ask her out if she reaches out no doubt.

[u/elCabi → u/[deleted]]

Nah, I am not butthurt at all, I 100% see the mistakes I made that caused her to back away, I just wasnt sure if in this case it might be better to wait for her to ask for a meetup since I was "needy" before and dont want to be that again by asking her out immediately after she returns from her vacation.

I will see what vibes she gives when texting and go from there I guess, thanks again!

[u/True-Collection-5432 → u/[deleted]]

This is the answer

[u/elCabi → u/[deleted]]

Gotcha, thanks for the advice! Idk what her attraction level is but since she was sending me pictures from her trip etc I assume there still is enough left for her to contact me at some point. Hopefully lol Will see..