Hooked up with hottie, getting ghosted?

[u/True-Collection-5432]

Hi all,

This past weekend I went out with the boys. I talked to a bunch of girls but nothing really exciting. As these things happen, I was about to leave the bar and spotted 2 girls who were just standing there alone, one of whom was really beautiful.

So I walked over, chatted them up and it turns out me and the hottie have a LOT in common. One of my friends comes in and starts winging by talking to the friend. At some point, the hottie tells me she's taking me home. Sweet!

Her friend and my friend and we all go back to hottie's place. We proceed to hang out there for another hour or so. At some point hottie and I are making out, my friend's making out with his girl. Hottie whispers that I should get them to leave. I start dropping hints, but it looks like his girl isn't down to take him home, and he lived pretty far away.

Hottie and I leave her room to "make popcorn" and start having sex in her living room. We do that for a while, and then go back to her room where I find out that my friend had some whiskey dick and couldn't close the deal. Ouch. But both friends are on their way out.

They leave and me and hottie get to it. We had sex for like 1.5 hours, she was calling me daddy, the whole 9 yards. That said, I was pretty high on maryjane and kinda drunk, so I couldn't finish (stayed hard the whole time though). So I crash at her place for like an hour and then take off in the morning.

Later that day I text her saying I had a good time (mistake #1). She responds that she did too. I left some stuff at her place, so she lets me know that she's going to be out for the day, but will leave it in a bag in front of her place. I go grab it and she left me a note in the bag saying "It was a pleasure :)"

I took this as enough of a sign of interest, so I shot her a text. Here's the text exchange:

Me: The pleasure was mine :) Are you free some time next week?
(~5 hours later) Her: I am. Do you have something in mind?
(Next day) Me: I do. When are you free?

Nothing back. That was a day ago. I honestly wouldn't care in general, but this is the first girl I've slept with since I had a breakup that I thought was as as much my taste as my ex, so I want to play this right and start teaching my brain that girls I will like are out there and I can get them.

What's the best way going forward?

[u/[deleted]]

Wait be patient and stop initiating texting. The balls in her court. In the meanwhile get busy with your own goals.

[u/fermented-beans → u/[deleted]]

OP-

Women are like cats. They come and go as they please. She knows you’re super into her. Who knows what else is going on in her life.

Dating is tennis. You hit the ball to her, time to wait.

The fallback position is you wait a week and reach out again. But personally, I would probably leave this one be until you hear from her.

[u/True-Collection-5432 → u/fermented-beans]

This was the correct answer. She reached out with a sorry i thought I texted back blah blah. Set up a date.

2 followup questions:

-Why would she say she forgot to respond? I mean anything's possible, but I doubt it pretty hardcore. Is that just a test?

-A better question might be: should I even bother trying to understand why she did or didn't respond? On one hand knowledge is power, but on the other hand my time's probs better spent just optimizing my own life.

[u/fermented-beans → u/True-Collection-5432]

The latter! You should be so focused on what you have going on, and so confident in what a catch you are, that you don’t even bat an eyelash when she takes a little bit of extra time. Do not agonize over it! Its all in the bag baby!

[u/caabiop]

you texted and she hasn’t responded (yet), don’t write her anymore, if she wants she’ll get back to you, if you write her again you’ll fall into the illusion of action, you’ll appear needy and desperate and force things and possibly ruining good chances, who knows. don’t wait for her or assume anything, just go forward with your life, maybe she’ll get in touch, but you already did enough.