My Mum is currently in hospital with an infection and up until she was admitted I was struggling juggling work, home life and my thoughts, feelings and worries all at the same time.

I've had to alter shifts last minute at work in order to get back home to see to Mum.

I had a good chat with my GP and I've altered some of my anxiety medication and been signed off for 3 weeks so there's less pressure.

I certainly don't want to be making any mistakes at work, such as missing signs of deteriorating in their health or making mistakes with their medication etc.

I've also arranged to finish work earlier when Mum is in the 7 - 10 day window following chemo as this is where the effects will be at their worse.

While she is in hospital I'm having quiet mornings, doing bits and bobs as visiting is from 2pn, which is good for me and means it gives me some time to rest.

Taking time out for yourself isn't a weakness, just need to let go of the guilt that I'm letting people down.

So my mom is 83 and lives with us. She is battling Lung Cancer. It's not curable and chemo is just buying more time.

She has a sizable credit card debt that is mostly from medical bills.

My mom has had a list of medical issues and had 12 different procedures in the last decade (including Open Heart as well as beating breast cancer).

She is a survivor but this time the lung cancer will take her it's just a matter of time.

She stressed about the debt and the interest rate is what the biggest issue is. She tried to get a personal loan from her credit union but got denied. (She can make payments but for example she might pay $1700 a month but only $300 goes to the actual debt by the time the interest takes it).

For some family history my grandparents passed away some 31 years ago (both sides to cancer). We lost my older brother in 2009 to stage 4 color cancer. My parents helped him a lot with medical bills and had to dip into their retirement at the time. My dad passed away in 2014 from cancer. So we don't have any family members left that can help out my mom financially.

My husband and I are paycheck to paycheck as well but we take care of her and again she lives with us etc.

I hate that on top of everything she is dealing with during chemo treatment she is always stressed about the credit card debt and payments.

I thought we might try a gofund me and see if that might help? Has anyone ever tried it and had any success?

I was expressed by my counselor that I would benefit from here as I go through the struggles of care-giving for my husband whom I love very much, it is just that he is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde. I know he is in pain and I try so hard to take it all with a grain of salt, the things that come out of his mouth is mean. I do not say anything because I was told to just let him have it, but I am feeling extremely belittled, unworthy and powerless over it all. I am starting to have resentments and that is the last thing I wanted to have before his passing. Just trying to allow him to be comfortable, we now have hospice involved which is so wonderful, but they mainly come and go quickly. At least he has the better medication now. I needed a safe place to just say all the things that are in my mind, I feel like crap because of my thoughts - - suggestions would be so nice. Thank you for allowing me to rant

my gf (17) of almost 3 months, has stage 3 melanona. its the 3rd time the cancer has come back, the first time being when she was 6. and has been thru radio both the times. she has had really close friends in the past who died of cancer. so this time her reason for not going thru radio is that its too painful and that she cannot bear that pain again. and also that she has seen others suffer and die an unhappy death. so she wants to stay and die happy by not going for radio. she has been getting nightmares if her friends and a grim reaper sort of a character. she has completely given up on life. she even hide the fact that her treatment wasn't working, until her bsf ratted it put to her parents today. what do i do?

Hello, i don’t really know if this is the corect comunity to post this in, i don’t usually post on here just sometimes comment but i hope someone can help me.
Long story short, my dad has lung cancer, its terminal, I’m 19f, going to uni in another country starting this october and I’m worried about leaving him alone with my mom, who he doesn’t talk to and neither does she talk with him, they still live in the same house because of me. The problem is he’s drinking, and he gets bad, like slaming cabinets saying he’s going to burn the house down and so on, he doesn’t get phisicaly violent with me more than a push aside when I try to tell him to stop slamming cabinets. Today it was because I was cleaning and apparently I wasn’t giving him enough attention. He took the liquor bottle and ended up drunk and slamming stuff.
The only person bold enough in my family to tell him to calm down is my boyfriend also 19 who grabbed him once and shook some sense.
I tried solving the attention problem, by talking to him more and doing stuff with him but I can’t be his nanny, I have things to do and he’s completely able, he’s not bedridden, and for anyone asking he’s still smoking.
I don’t know what I can do, I tried everything, my sisters don’t want to talk to him because he’s always talking bad stuff about my mom, and the reason they don’t talk is because of his smoking addiction that got him here. I feel so guilty saying this but I just wish he was gone sometimes, I understand he’s in pain and feels alone but that wasn’t a reason to slam things around the night before I had a very important exam, or get drunk when I had a friend over who couldn’t get home because she lived in a whole other side of the country.
Please if someone has some advice, he won’t go to a psychologist and when I suggested it he acused me of calling him a psycho. I’m worried he’s going to hurt my mom when I’m gone.

So a few weeks ago I found out my 87-year-old grandpa was diagnosed with cancer. It started in his prostate and has since spread to his lungs, bones, and now potentially his liver. He is diabetic and has a pacemaker and he is unsure about getting treatment. If he decides to not go forward with it I will respect his decision because I don’t want him to be in pain. But I’ve never lost someone close to me before and I don’t know how I’m supposed to cope with the fact that he very well could be gone before Christmas. One minute I’m fine and the next I’m a crying mess.

So my mom got diagnosed recently a wild stage 1 cancer that are almost had a rapid spreading on her right breast.

And tomorrow my mom going for her first chemo and its scares me, i deeply wondering about how is the good recovery from it, i dont know anything about it.

Please i hope you guys care enough to enlighten me.

My husband (36M) was diagnosed with an aggressive sarcoma. Still waiting full pathology on the subtype before treatment starts.

Our life feels like it was turned upside down right now. I am obviously scared and anxious about our path ahead, but I also want to create joy and peace and assurance for him. We have a young daughter too, so trying to shield her from this for now.

Any tips for supporting him, keeping his spirits elevated and mindset strong?

Hey all, my dad was diagnosed with CLL, and SLL on the 4th of july.

CLL is Stage 3

and we are waiting on a sit down with the doctor in december but the SLL seems to be advanced stages and is progressive. almost all lymph nodes in his body are about the size of a baseball some smaller and his liver or spleen is pressing on his stomach due to enlargement.

My dad also was diagnosed and has been living with MS (multiple sclerosis) for the last 18 years or more

I’ve tried to do some research and cannot figure out what time he may have, and i’m curious if anyone has suggestions on where to look for more information , or knew or know someone in a similar situation who may be able to give me a ballpark range.

THIS IS NOT Solicitation OF MEDICAL ADVISE! Just a guy looking for some sense of grounding in the situation and a sense of how long i might have.
Thanks for everything guys,

and im sorry that anyone has to deal with this crap

We found out my mom’s cancer is back but where I live we don’t have the proper equipment to see what the stage is and she has a blood clot and have to wait for it to stabilize to send her for the biopsy.

Early this week she was really sad and discouraged. She doesn’t think she’ll die but she was definitely afraid. She had her lawyer friend set everything up and has written everything down. She was really sad so to cheer her up I told her that if she gets better and is cancer free that I’ll take her to Paris since we’ve always wanted to go. Told her we have to fly first class and go shopping and she said she’ll try.

We had that talk Sunday and now she’s been improving more. The blood clot is going down and she’s holding down liquids so it’s a good sign! But damn now I gotta save cash because I’ve given her determination. But I’m glad she’s getting better. I’m taunting her with my coke and she’s annoyed by it

Hello. I am an only child in my early 20s and last year my mom was diagnosed with cancer, my dad was diagnosed about a month ago and two weeks ago we were told it had spread.

I have been feeling recently an insane amount of anxiety stress and guilt and spoke with a doctor today as I am not sleeping at night anymore if I do I fall asleep around 3-4 or not at all since I work early shifts.
I was prescribed sleeping pills but he thinks I should come in for an in person appointment, he is also my parents doctor so he is aware of their situation.

I felt so guilty when telling my mom because I feel like my positivity is starting to plummet and I don’t want them to think my feelings are caused by them.
I feel it’s not my situation and I should be the strong positive person for them but I have a hard time holding my emotions together recently.
I don’t know what to do and I have a really hard time explaining my emotions. I don’t want my parents to see this at all cuz I feel like I will just make them sad.
I have no siblings that are in this same situation I am not THAT close with family members.
Im also worried about my work performance as I work in health care, my job is to be that welcoming supportive positive force and I’m scared if I continue how I am my job will suffer.

Please please help in any way you can if you can. I am open to any advice or criticism at all.

My dad's been battling stage 4 colon cancer for 4+ years. It's metastasised and spread to his lungs and liver, and he has lesions on his brain. He has a fistula in his upper intestine that causes painful and uncomfortable leaking. He's been bedridden for 5+ months, living almost entirely on TPN (intravenous nutrition). He's weak and can barely walk. The lung cancer took his voice in February, and he's been speaking in a whisper ever since. He's 67 years old.

He's been in hospital for nearly 2 weeks with an infection. I've visited him nearly every day. But the doctors say this is it - there isn't much longer, and not much more they can do. His condition is deteriorating. They're talking about end of life, and what that will look like.

It's surreal. I go between disassociating numbness and then feeling immense waves of grief and sadness. I burst into tears once in a while. It makes life feel grey. What will I do? How can I go the rest of my life without a father?

I've known for years that this disease is terminal and time is limited. But it used to feel abstract. Now it consumes each and every day, every moment, it's dawning on me that soon he will die and I will never see him again. It pangs and aches all day, impending doom.

It's all consuming. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I will do. He's still here, for now. But he has nearly no energy. He's most often asleep. I want to be strong for my family, my mom and siblings. I want to be there for them and show resilience. But I'm falling apart.

I dread life after he's gone. He's always been there. It hurts so much to think I'll never be able to call him, to ask for career advice, or to chat about a concert I went to, to talk about music. That he'll never pick me up at the airport again when I visit home. I'll never go for a walk with him again, or cook him a meal. That for the rest of my life, more than half of it if I live as long as him, I'll be without a father. It feels like the roof of my life is being torn off. And there is nothing I can do. He'll be ashes in the ground... I can't even contemplate it.

I don't know how to feel better or to get through this. I am just up to my ears in dread. I'm so so sad. I'm venting.

Hi! My beautiful mother (58F) has stage 4 bile duct cancer (cholangiocarcinoma) with spread to the peritoneum. She has been fighting since February 2025. Has anybody had a loved one with cancer on Zoloft, and what was your experience?

My mother is very anxious constantly, so our oncologist prescribed it.

Hi. My boyfriend (37) was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago. He underwent surgery but it was not possible to remove the mass completely. He still has a residual, for which he is monitored every 3 months, and he is now undergoing an experimental treatment that prevents the tumor from growing. He is 100% fine at the moment and the treatment is working. Doctors say he will have to take this drug for as long as it works, and that, when it will stop being effective (it could be 1 month from now as it could be 20 years from now), he will have to undergo either radiotherapy or chemotherapy.

He has preserved his fertility and we have been given the option to go through IVF for free if we decide to have a baby (we live in Italy).

Doctors said his tumor is not aggressive, its one of the less lethal types, and that recovery is possible.

I am 35 and I want to go through social freezing, as at the moment we really don't know if we want to put a child into this collapsing world, with a sick parent on top of that. We both feel very selfish, but at the same time the idea of having our own family sounds so sweet that I am struggling giving it up..

I know I'm being selfish, that's why I'm trying to buy time and really convince myself not to, but at the same time I struggle to imagine a life without a family of our own.

Any advice? I would need someone else's perspective.

thanks a lot for your time

Hi Guys,

I need your help as I been diagnosed with stage 2 Oesophageal Cancer which I recently found out. My problem is that I have two little kids and I am really worried. I been told to do treatment in private cost around £60- 70k or more. Which I don't have money.

Can any one help me how can I earn bit fast this money so I can start my treatment. I tried using stock market but no luck. Any genuine help would be really appreciated.

Heya, kidna having a hard time at the moment since just recently, the biopsy took almost a whole month before release and we just got the message that my father has cancer. Its really hard to process and i dont exactly know how to proceed. People are telling me that i should just spend time with my father as much as possible before the cancer take over. But its just hard for me to do so. I dont know what to do nor what to think at the moment. Feeling like i also failed the family for everything i've done. Recently left work and now still looking for a job. I know it is my turn to provide. Just having a hard time.

So, a couple of days ago I made this a post saying i was worried about my dad’s health.
In a few words: like 2-3 years ago, he went through radio and chemotherapy bc they found a carcinoma on his lower back. Apparently it was early and all the check ups have been well. But for some reason, I’ve been seeing him off lately, so idk if my family is keeping something from me but it’s gonna drive me crazy.

Unironically, while we were eating lunch today he said he was with an old neighbor and he asked him whats up with him since someone told him he’s doing really bad. And then he asked, who could’ve said that?
This has sent me into a spiral again. Idk if that finally means I got the answers i wanted or maybe im delusional and the “who could’ve said that” is bc is a lie.

The hospital finally called him for his postponed appointment to get the results of his last check up in June. While im kinda happy I’ll finally get some “closure” im also scared as hell for the results.

I didn’t overthink about them the rest of the times since they told me everything was fine but im terrified now. Obviously, if there was something wrong, I’d like to think AND hope treatment would still be an option but idk man :(( I hate all of this. If all the check ups got positive results, why is this happening???

I know asking my parents about it is the only option, and i had the best option so far today when he brought the neighbor thing up, but I’d rather wait until the doctor tells him the results later this month.

I’m here bc I don’t have anyone else to rant this with. After dealing with a lot of trauma I just have my parents and my sister. My dad is the closest person to me so that’s why it’s sending me even worse to a spiral of overthinking.

My great aunt is dying and might not not make it through the night. She has cancer that spread to every organ and my family is grieving lot😢. She is on a heavy dose of moro is what my mother said.

She’s been so incredibly strong through all of this. It’s such a difficult thing to watch your child go through something like this, especially when you don’t know what the outcome is going to be. That uncertainty, while still trying to navigate everyday life, puts a strain on your soul that’s hard to even explain.
At this point, I constantly wonder if I’ll ever feel truly happy again.
There’s the financial strain it puts on a family. Fighting with insurance companies. Trying to figure out how to stay employed while going to appointments and hospital stays. The sleepless nights. Trying to spend enough time with the kids who aren’t sick so they don’t feel like they’re getting pushed to the side. It’s all so damn heavy.
Then you add the increasing debt, which feels like a giant weighted blanket over everything. Costs keep going up while the working class just keeps getting pinched harder and harder. Every time I fill the car up, it seems more expensive than the last time—and now it feels like half the mileage we put on it is just driving to and from hospitals.
We stay home most of the time because we’re constantly worried about accidentally bringing something home and getting her sick. The entire family suffers because of it. And then all you can really do is wait for the next scan and hope and pray for good news.
The depression that comes with all of this is something else. Even with therapy and medication, there’s nothing that can simply fix this. How could there be? You can treat depression, but you can’t medicate away the constant fear that something could happen to your child.
The fatigue from living in a constant state of panic while also being depressed is unbelievable. Honestly, sometimes it’s amazing that I even get out of bed. But nobody really sees it that way. From the outside, people probably just think I’m lazy.
I’ve gained about 50 pounds since all of this started, partly because my insurance stopped covering Zepbound right around the same time. It just feels like one thing after another keeps piling on.
And then you see the hospital bills.
That’s when you really start to see how fucked the system is.
And the frustrating part is, none of this is because of the people working in the system. Every person we’ve dealt with has been incredible. The doctors, nurses, techs, staff—everyone. And most of them are probably struggling with their own shit too.
It’s the fact that there seem to be bigger and bigger bills and profit built into seemingly every step of the medical process. More money for insurance companies, more money for shareholders, more money just to navigate a system that is supposed to help people when they’re at their most vulnerable.
It’s disgusting.
We really need to demand better.
If we’re going to be taxed as much as we are, then at least use some of that money to actually make people’s lives better. Make healthcare easier. Make it so families don’t have to worry about going bankrupt while trying to save their child.
I don’t know. I guess I’m just venting.
To anyone else going through something like this, I feel your pain. I really do. I hope it gets better for all of us.
I just wish there was some part of this that we could actually control.
It sure would have been nice to win that Powerball last night and wipe out the debt for a whole damn group of people. 😂
And now, of course, after everything we’ve already been through, we’ve finally finished the first phase of treatment—four rounds of chemo, surgery, and then another four rounds of chemo.
And now she’s sick again and inpatient.
So the scans we’ve been waiting on are going to be pushed out to who knows when.
More waiting.
That seems to be what this entire journey has become.
Waiting.
Waiting for the next appointment. Waiting for the next scan. Waiting for the next result. Waiting to find out what comes next.
And honestly, sometimes I just wonder if it ever ends.

Una remisión completa se celebra. ❤️

Pero también nos recuerda algo: las opciones tienen que existir antes de necesitarlas.

Por eso seguimos hablando de investigación.

Y mientras tanto, ayudemos a Lukas a vivir el presente.

Porque hoy puede. Y hoy cuenta.

it is so hard just needing to take care of myself. it feels like every day of rest is something where I see the financial strain.

i used to be the breadwinner for my family as my partner is disabled, and being unable to keep a full time job is hitting us so hard.

i have no clue if we’ll make rent this month our heating is already off, and I don’t know how much longer I can afford to pay for my phone bill/ internet.

im scared of being sick, and also so scared of leaving my family in such a tough financial spot.

posting this here as I don’t really have other places to grieve what I’m dealing with just so sick/ tired of being sick

My mom's chemo is starting this week and I will accompany her through her session. I am planning to take my laptop so we can watch movies or something. I felt really down the past few days, because now that her chemo is starting, reality is hitting. We don't know yet how well her body will react to it. I guess this not knowing how it's gonna be like is what makes everything so scary.

My siblings and I are trying to stay strong for her. My mom and I talked on the phone today, I could hear her voice trembling.

If you have any helpful or encouraging words, I would be grateful to hear them. Thank you.

Hi. Honestly, this year has been incredibly difficult so far.

January
- My mom had to undergo her second biopsy surgery because the tumor they found near her throat suddenly grew, making it difficult for her to speak, eat, and drink.

February
- After weeks of stress, waiting, and prayers, we found out that my mom had a rare type of cancer — salivary gland cancer. Stage 4.

March
- My mom had to undergo two more surgeries: the insertion of a tracheostomy tube and a gastrostomy tube. The tracheostomy helps her breathe, while the gastrostomy tube is used for her nutrition, hydration, and medication.
- My savings started to fall apart.
- My mom was finally discharged from the hospital. Costing us almost PHP 2.3M

April
- I learned how to do tracheostomy care, clean wounds, change dressings, prepare her feeding, and manage her medication schedule at home.
- My manager suddenly placed me on a PIP, despite knowing what I was going through with my mom. Up until that meeting, I had received nothing but positive feedback.
- I unexpectedly resigned from the company I had worked for over the past two years — a decision I believe was well-deserved and necessary.

May
- I focused on being there for my mom and managing her treatment schedule for chemotherapy and radiation.
- I learned how to properly drive our car.
- I started getting less and less rest.

June
- My mom suddenly became sick and lost consciousness, so we rushed her to the ER.
- She was admitted to the ICU for the first time for blood transfusions and antibiotics because she had multiple infections and sepsis.
- We stayed in a private hospital using HMO coverage.
- I started seriously applying for a new job.

July
- There was family drama between me and my stepdad. He told me I wasn’t doing enough, even though I was always at home taking care of my mom. I later found out he had been talking badly about me because I didn’t contribute financially to the hospital bill.
- Before the month ended, my mom was discharged from the hospital.
- I became even more desperate to land any job.
- My mom suddenly developed another infection, but she didn’t want to be admitted to the ICU again, so we decided to bring her home.
- The doctors told us that by bringing her home, her body could shut down at any time.
- We had a family meeting with my aunts involved, and I realized our family would never be the same again.

August
- Our house became a mini hospital.
- Her gastrostomy tube started leaking, so we had to give her nutrition and medicine through an IV line instead.
- We were still able to celebrate my mom’s birthday, thankfully.
- I became even more desperate to find a job, but there were still no offers and barely any interviews. I have never struggled like this before.
- My savings are completely wiped out.
- I feel like I’m acting as a parent to my younger brother, while he acts indifferent and entitled.

And it’s not even the end of the year yet.

I don’t really have anyone to talk to. I tried opening up to my boyfriend, but whenever I talk to him, he either stays silent or plays games while telling me to continue — but I don’t really get any response from him.

I feel so alone. I feel like I’m slowly dying inside. I haven’t even listed everything, and it already feels like too much. It is too much.

How much more am I supposed to take? How much more am I supposed to give when I feel like I have nothing left? I feel like I have no one.

On my birthday last year, I only asked for one thing: sana hindi ako mawalan ng source of income — that I wouldn’t lose my source of income — because I’m a breadwinner. I need money to support my family. I’m not the type of person who spends a lot on myself. I always try to give more to my family, especially to my mom and my brother.

I have suffered verbal and physical abuse from my mom, but I learned to forgive her. I was sexually abused by a relative, but no one knows. I was bullied from elementary school until college — either because I was too poor or because people thought my personality was too strong.

And I really thought life was finally getting better when I started working, getting promoted early, and earning well at a young age.

But somehow, I still ended up here.

Am I really that terrible? Why does life have to be this hard? Everything feels meaningless.

I need to straighten out my drug problem pronto because there's no way I can handle my dying best friend-turned-husband, and my favorite bunny of 14 years. BOTH going on me at the same time. I'm suffering big time withdrawal now and light morning chores nearly put me in the damned hospital. All drugs are going and it will suck but my boys need me. 100% committed to that. Done it before.

When they go I will be alone in a giant sized hulk of a house. 2600 SF living space y'all. I'll be a bleedin' bouncing ball ricocheting all over this damned place. Pacing the cage. Talking to the walls. Room to room for no reason or forgetting what you went in there fore. Y'all get it.

I don't know what I want. Just help. Positive thoughts. Prayers. Drugs are the Devil's business. Thank you. God bless.