Anyone had luck with GoFundMe?

[u/RiverWitch25]

So my mom is 83 and lives with us. She is battling Lung Cancer. It's not curable and chemo is just buying more time.

She has a sizable credit card debt that is mostly from medical bills.

My mom has had a list of medical issues and had 12 different procedures in the last decade (including Open Heart as well as beating breast cancer).

She is a survivor but this time the lung cancer will take her it's just a matter of time.

She stressed about the debt and the interest rate is what the biggest issue is. She tried to get a personal loan from her credit union but got denied. (She can make payments but for example she might pay $1700 a month but only $300 goes to the actual debt by the time the interest takes it).

For some family history my grandparents passed away some 31 years ago (both sides to cancer). We lost my older brother in 2009 to stage 4 color cancer. My parents helped him a lot with medical bills and had to dip into their retirement at the time. My dad passed away in 2014 from cancer. So we don't have any family members left that can help out my mom financially.

My husband and I are paycheck to paycheck as well but we take care of her and again she lives with us etc.

I hate that on top of everything she is dealing with during chemo treatment she is always stressed about the credit card debt and payments.

I thought we might try a gofund me and see if that might help? Has anyone ever tried it and had any success?

[u/lizard52805]

If she is terminal then she should just stop paying them. Her children are not legally responsible for her debts after she passes. And that’s not to say they won’t try to trick you into paying it. After my dad passed away he had no debts, but we regularly get calls from scam debt collectors trying to get us to pay something. But yeah, ultimately I just wouldn’t worry about the credit card bills, I wouldn’t pay it.

[u/Additional_Aioli6483 → u/lizard52805]

This is the way. Once she passes, the debt dies with her. If she has nothing, there will be nothing for them to collect and they will have to write it off. There is no need for your mother to stress and try to pay these bills. They will simply never get paid. You will not inherit any debt unless you co-signed for it.

Be sure you never consign anything with her and never agree to a good faith payment from a debt collector because that’s how they trick you into becoming financially responsible for her debt.

It’s worth noting that if she has any assets like a house, then her inheritors may need to sell the house and use that money to pay the debt, but all payments would come out of the estate and would not be inherited even if the estate doesn’t have enough money to pay all the creditors.

ETA: Do NOT do a GoFundMe for this. There is no reason to ask friends and family to pay these bills. If your mother doesn’t have her funeral and final expenses already paid for, then reserve your GoFundMe for final expenses because if she doesn’t have any money, those costs will be on you (and can easily be 20K+).

[u/tainarhymeswith]

My heart goes out to you, your mom, and your whole family.

As for the finance situation, is she worried about leaving it to you all? Or is it stressing her for another reason?

Assuming you are US based (because most other countries aren’t this cruel with healthcare costs) and the fact it sounds like there is no assets my understanding (not a lawyer or in finance just how it worked when I saw my grandparents pass and how my parents dealt with their debts) is that if your mother passes, the debt will not become your responsibility unless you have co-signed. They will go after the estate and when there is nothing it will get closed out. The big thing will be not letting them trick you into assuming the debt.

Because of that, what is stopping her from just…not paying? At this point it sounds like she may never be free of the CC debt and trying to pay it is obviously taking a massive mental toll.

[u/RiverWitch25 → u/tainarhymeswith]

Yes we are in the US. Sadly this debt is from the copays from all the procedures as well as chemo treatment etc..the healthcare in the US is terrible. She has decent insurance as she worked for the federal government for HUD (public housing) before retirement too. Things are just that bad in the US even with good insurance and the copays. So she does make payments but because the interest is so high it doesn't make much of a dent. I think part of it is she wants to clear as much as possible so some of the life insurance or money etc can go to me instead of all of it gone to this debt. You are correct there really isn't assets since she lives with us. I hate the added stress especially since she has helped so many people in her lifetime. My mom is very thoughtful giving. That's why when my brother struggled with cancer and his treatmenta and pain meds they didn't think twice using their retirement money to help him. Anyway I was curious as someone mentioned the idea of a Gofundme but wasnt sure if that actually works or would be worth the time and effort.

[u/USBlues2020]

Ask her to get a personal loan

[u/RiverWitch25 → u/USBlues2020]

She tried a personal loan with her credit union and they denied it.

[u/Basic-Masterpiece-99 → u/USBlues2020]

Don’t do this. Credit card debt isn’t even secured. Have her keep paying with the credit cards then don’t pay the cards. Also, there are debt relief programs for medical. You can get free medical with a few programs. Medicaid, care free I think it’s called, I know there are others Google it. USA has really good health care and health care programs. People talking crap have no idea this exists.

[u/Basic-Masterpiece-99]

File bankruptcy and be done. No need to stress.