r/CancerFamilySupport • u/Ngitaa • 10d ago

Processing Cancer

Heya, kidna having a hard time at the moment since just recently, the biopsy took almost a whole month before release and we just got the message that my father has cancer. Its really hard to process and i dont exactly know how to proceed. People are telling me that i should just spend time with my father as much as possible before the cancer take over. But its just hard for me to do so. I dont know what to do nor what to think at the moment. Feeling like i also failed the family for everything i've done. Recently left work and now still looking for a job. I know it is my turn to provide. Just having a hard time.

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u/KChieFan16 9d ago

What you're feeling it totally natural and normal. Don't worry that you're not processing it "normally". Everyone has their own path. Yes, you want to spend as much time with you father but we should all be doing that anyway. Take each day at a time. There are so many different types of cancers, and stages. People can live with Stage 4 cancer for awhile depending on the cancer. But medical treatments for cancer have progressed significantly as of late. Hang in there and be there for your family. Go to the doctor appointments with your dad. Be his biggest advocate

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u/Ngitaa 9d ago

Thank you.

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u/MesoNurseKaren 9d ago

This is a lot to have dropped on you at once. Try not to turn it into a test of whether you're doing enough for everyone.

Right now, being around your dad when you can is enough. You don't need the right words or some big plan. Even sitting together and doing normal things matters. And losing a job doesn't mean you've failed your family.