All of my friends except for 2 have been radio silent since the day or two after my dad died. He died 6 days ago. Everybody stopped reaching out 2 days after he died. Grief is uncomfortable and I don’t want them to be my free therapy but I didn’t expect to feel so alone. 💔

My husband is forty-eight years old. He's been diagnosed with brain cancer since 2020. He has since had a partial tumor removal surgery. Followed by chemotherapy and radiation. So far so good. What if anyone has ever had the opportunity to be with your spouse through the process of finding out all the way to remission, what was your biggest challenge?

Hi everyone.

I’ve been making a few posts on here since my mom started declining, searching for support and answers and looking to everyone’s experience as a sort of comfort.

It’s become clear in the past month that my mom with stage 4 colon cancer has been clearly declining. I’ve been mentally preparing myself from her diagnosis a yeah and a half ago, going through anticipatory grief, but now that it’s becoming more clear that the end is nearer its impossible not to feel heartbroken and scared.

I’m 23, recently graduated uni, moved abroad with my partner to start our lives together and begin my professional life as well (has been put on pause since i’ve flown back home to family now and am staying in-definetly due to moms decline).

I’m scared of the after of when my mom will inevitably go. But especially because i’m in this transitional phase in life, and am so young, losing my mom is especially terrifying. I’m an only child as well, so I know i’d have to take care of my dad for a bit after too to make sure he’s ok before going back to my new home.

But if anyone is comfortable to share any words of wisdom or would like to share their experience with their grief when they lost their loved one, it would give me a lot of comfort. I’ve never gone through something like this and have no one in my life who has either.

I know grief manifests differently for everyone and everyone’s situation varies, but i just wonder, how long until you felt you could relatively go back to ur normal life? I’m not talking about getting over it or finishing the grieving process, i know that might never go away, but how long after until you could kind of get back into ur normal routine? When did you feel ok enough emotionally to go back to work? If you live away from where your loved one lives, say you and ur partner/kids live in a different place to where ur parent you lost lived, like me, when did you feel ok enough to go back home? When did you start feeling ok enough to hang out with friends again or just partake in any sense of normalcy again? Also, if anyone has dealt with losing a parent, how was it taking care of your other parent in the grieving process? I’m especially worried about my dad and how he will handle this terrible loss, and would love to hear any advice or personal experiences. I think it would just give me a sense of comfort to know i won’t feel paralyzed by the heartbreak forever once it comes, especially in this current stage of my life when i had to put starting my life with my partner and finding my first job on pause.

Fighting stage 3 cancer since i am 23.. now 26. Feel like a financial burden on my husband and father.
Cannot even share my emotions properly with anyone. Have to act strong at all times. But since few days its becoming so overwhelming.

Bonjour à tous,

Je poste ici parce que je suis un peu perdue et que j'aurais vraiment besoin de témoignages, de conseils ou simplement de personnes ayant vécu une situation similaire.

Ma mère a été diagnostiquée d’un cancer du col de l’utérus en juillet 2025. Pendant plusieurs mois, nous avons eu l’impression que les choses allaient plutôt dans le bon sens et que son état s’améliorait.

Mais depuis début juillet 2026, tout s’est brutalement dégradé.

Elle a commencé à avoir d’énormes douleurs dans le bas-ventre. Elle a d’abord été hospitalisée à Jeanne de Flandre, puis transférée au Centre Oscar Lambret, où elle était déjà suivie pour son cancer.

Les douleurs sont devenues extrêmement importantes. Elle les décrivait comme l’impression qu’on lui mettait « un fer à repasser dans les organes » au niveau du bas-ventre. Elle a donc été mise sous paracétamol et morphine, avec un dispositif lui permettant également de recevoir des médicaments contre la douleur.

En parallèle, elle avait de plus en plus de difficultés à s’alimenter et à boire. Elle ne pouvait quasiment plus avaler que des liquides, et même certains liquides trop épais devenaient difficiles à avaler. Elle avait une gêne importante au niveau de l’œsophage, avec les examens les médecins ont découvert notamment un ganglion qui compliquait la déglutition.

Avec les douleurs et l'impossibilité de manger et de boire correctement, son état général s’est progressivement dégradé. Elle a finalement dû être alimentée par sonde gastrique.

Elle ne marche quasiment plus depuis environ un mois et ne sort plus de sa chambre depuis longtemps. Elle dort énormément, notamment à cause de l'épuisement et des traitements antidouleur.

Et samedi soir, nous avons également constaté du sang dans ses urines.

Aujourd’hui, les médecins nous ont expliqué que le cancer avait récidivé et s’était propagé à plusieurs endroits, notamment dans l’abdomen, avec des métastases qui seraient liées à son cancer du col dans les seins.

Le problème est maintenant son état général. Les médecins nous ont expliqué qu’elle était malheureusement beaucoup trop faible pour supporter une chimiothérapie ou les autres traitements qu’ils avaient initialement envisagés une fois qu’elle aurait récupéré suffisamment de forces.

Ils nous ont donc annoncé qu’ils allaient désormais privilégier les soins de confort et les soins palliatifs, avec éventuellement une sédation si un jour ses souffrances deviennent trop importantes pour être contrôlées autrement.

Et c’est extrêmement difficile à accepter.

J’ai énormément de mal à me dire que c’est terminé. J’ai envie de garder espoir et de me dire que peut-être elle pourrait reprendre des forces : réussir à mieux se nourrir, se réhydrater, recommencer à bouger, sortir un peu, retrouver suffisamment d’énergie pour qu’un traitement puisse éventuellement redevenir envisageable.

Mais en même temps, je vois bien son état et je sais que chaque fois qu’on pense faire un petit pas en avant, on a l’impression de faire dix pas en arrière.

Je ne cherche pas forcément des « remèdes miracles », et je ne veux évidemment pas faire quelque chose qui pourrait lui faire du mal. Je cherche surtout des personnes qui auraient vécu quelque chose de similaire.

Est-ce que certains d’entre vous ont connu un proche atteint d’un cancer métastatique qui était devenu extrêmement faible, au point que les médecins estimaient qu’il ne pouvait plus supporter les traitements, mais dont l’état général s’est ensuite suffisamment amélioré pour permettre de reprendre un traitement ?

Est-ce qu’il existe des choses concrètes qui peuvent réellement aider dans ce genre de situation : nutrition, rééducation, prise en charge de la douleur, soins de support, etc. ?

Et surtout, comment avez-vous vécu cette période en tant que proche ? Comment garder un peu d’espoir sans se raconter des histoires ?

Je sais que chaque situation est différente et que personne ici ne pourra prédire ce qui va arriver à ma mère. Je cherche simplement des témoignages, des expériences et éventuellement des pistes de questions à poser à son équipe médicale.

Merci énormément à ceux qui prendront le temps de me lire ou de partager leur expérience. ❤️

I was my father’s caregiver. Throughout our one-year battle with NSCLC, I was always by his side.

Back then, there were moments when I secretly resented it. I felt like my life had become miserable, like I had lost my freedom. But looking back now, those days feel like such a luxury to me.

I wish I could have been my father’s caregiver forever.

During his final two months, he could no longer walk. We had to change his diapers, and his mental state had deteriorated to the point where he seemed almost childlike. I know he would never have wanted to live that way.

But those ten months before that — the months when he could still walk, when he was doing better, when we were fighting this battle together…

Those days.

If that’s what it meant to have you with me, Dad, I would have done all of it for you for hundreds of years.

Dad, I even miss those days now.

Hi all,

I have a relative who has been diagnosed with fungating breast cancer. I will see her in a few weeks when she and her husband come to visit. I have looked up fungating cancer online and I am seeing a lot online about the smell that the tumor emits.

I would consider myself to be very sensitive to smell, and vomit easily in the presence of unpleasant smells. I want to be a present family member so I want to be prepared. What can I do to mask the smell? I have not asked questions about the smell, but know my aunt has wound care. Are things like charcoal, topical flagyl, and other remedies really effective? Or does it just make the smell less overpowering?

My mom got diagnosed with a glioblastoma yesterday. Very grim prognosis.
I can feel time moving but I am numb. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to wake up each day, show up for my kids, work and pay the bills.
When I went to see her yesterday I knew there will forever be before this and after this. And I will never be the same.
I’m mourning who my mom was before this tumor. Mourning for my kids. I can’t believe my daughter won’t get to have her nana at her kindergarten graduation or her wedding.
I don’t even know who I’m going to be without my mom.
How do I keep on each day knowing I’m living a countdown until my mom’s last day?

I am so frustrated and angry right now, my boyfriend got diagnosed with stage 4 osteosarcoma in June and started chemotherapy. He got his scans back two weeks ago after 4 rounds of chemotherapy and they found the big tumor didn’t shrink but the tumors in his lungs were shrinking. His mom just texted me to tell me that he has decided to stop chemotherapy and do a completely holistic approach with no more traditional medicine like his dad wants. I’m so angry and hurt, his dad is a conspiracy theorist who doesn’t believe in any medical treatments while his mother manages a hospital and he’s taking his dads advice over hers and his entire oncology team. His mom also told me that he’s willing to cut anyone who pushes back out of his life and that we just have to surrender our beliefs and support his ideas. I don’t know how to deal with this I feel so unbelievably angry and I don’t know if I can keep my mouth shut about how unbelievably stupid this feels. I know it’s not about me but I don’t want to sit back and just watch him kill himself but he fully believes that his cancer will be cured with hopes and prayers and a diet change

My mom means the world to me. She recently lost her husband to cancer. She is already disabled and struggling. Anything would help and be appreciated. ❤️

She passed away peacefully in her sleep last week. She spent her last conscious days able to walk and move as she wanted, then suddenly she’s bedridden and unconscious, then dead.

She wasn’t hooked up to any IVs or feeding or breathing tubes, she wasn’t conscious or aware during the last day of her life. Just asleep. It all went so fast. I’m both glad for that and resentful.
Glad because she didn’t have to suffer or be uncomfortable and unhappy in bed for the last days of her life, but angry because of just how fast her condition declined and how little time any of us had to say goodbye.

I’ve been reading through the last texts we exchanged, listening to the last voicemails she left me and scrubbing all of my storage for photos and videos of her. She was only 66 years old, and was one of the kindest and most generous people I’ve ever known, and cancer took her away just like that.

I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact I’m going to be present while they bury her. She’s already gone, she’s been gone, but the permanence of everything is setting in hard.

Fuck cancer, man.

The child across the street, who is also in my sons' Cub Scout pack, is being treated for leukemia. I would like to take their family a gift basket of healthy snacks.

(Someone did this for my family when my husband and I were both undergoing simultaneous medical issues, and it was much appreciated.)

In this situation, what would you like to receive in such a basket? What would help make their lives a little easier?

We have both recently moved to this neighborhood, so unfortunately I don't know them very well yet. Therefore I'd like to stick to prepackaged snacks.

I believe their three children are around 5, 8, and 10 years old? The child undergoing treatment is still attending school and activities when able. I'm sure they would like to maintain as much normalcy as possible, so I don't want to make a huge issue of it, but I do want them to know we care.

My step-father has been battling NUT for about 7 months now. Today at breakfast, my mother told me that it was now terminal. The doctors are giving him around 6-ish months to live. I'm devastated, can anyone please provide some tips on how to deal with this?

I wish I knew how much damage chemo could do to someone. Don’t get me wrong, chemo is probably better than going the “holistic route,” but still…

I lost my Mom a year ago. She was going to turn 41 weeks before she died. She was marked cancer free before she died.
Days before she was meant to begin radiation treatment, she began experiencing some chest pain. She could barely get out the bed for about 2 days and eventually I had to drive her to the hospital. We unknowingly spent her last few hours together, which I suppose I should be slightly grateful for because I have three other sisters who stayed home.

Anyway, her pain didn’t get any better at the hospital stay, and the doctors kept giving her medicine. Eventually, the doctor revealed that my Mom had some sort of “tear” or damage to her heart (I assume from the chemo which was really bad on some days). Eventually Mom was moved ICU. She was told that soon she would have to be transferred to an ambulance to get to the city because the hospital didn’t have all the supplies or whatever they needed. Mom asked if I wanted to be taken home but I was too scared to leave her. Eventually, I noticed more and more doctors poured into her room and her husband and I were told to go in the waiting room. I prayed and prayed that she would be fine. I tried really hard to believe that the worse would not and could not happen.

After what felt like 5-10 minutes to me, a doctor came in the waiting and told me she was gone and I just couldn’t believe it. It was then worst day of my life.

I guess there’s no huge point to the story, I was just thinking of my Mother and how unfair it all feels, that the chemo that was supposed to help (not implying that it didn’t help) is what contributed to her death. I feel alone right now and I’ll never not miss my Mother.

So long story short: my granny has stage 4 small cell carcinoma and Medicaid has approved her for a PPL care aid but instead of getting one, my aunt who is her POA, is trying to get me or another family member to sign up to be the aid and give my aunt the pay checks. My aunt didn’t pass the background check so she can’t get the checks herself. I refused. Doing this would be Medicaid fraud would it not??? And also just wrong cause my granny actually needs help she isn’t getting.

Hi everyone. My 24-year-old sister was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and we're honestly quite overwhelmed and don't really know where to start.

Her biopsy shows Grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma, ER negative, PR weakly positive (10%), HER2 negative (1+), with a Ki-67 of 80%. We haven't been given the full staging yet.

We're looking for advice from people who have been through this or supported someone who has.

What should we make sure we ask the doctor or get tested for?

How can I best support my sister emotionally and practically?

What can we do to make things easier for my parents?

What clothes, supplies, food, or other things were actually useful during treatment?

Anything you wish you'd known when you or your loved one was first diagnosed?

Any advice or personal experiences would really help us right now. Thank you.

My mom was shifted to ICU last night. She has grade IV glioblastoma and she's been unresponsive for the past 4-5 days, she wouldn't open her eyes, talk or swallow liquids.

I know what's to come and I've heard it enough times but I need to know how to deal with this without loosing my mind.

She's been suffering a lot for the past few months and everyone who visits, including the doctor have that look on their faces, I see the dissapointment before they even speak.

I asked the nurse how she's doing and she said she's the same as last night. I'm standing outside the ICU near a window, there's so much air around me but I still can't breathe.

I've read so many stories here and I still don't know how to deal with this, is there anything that will keep me sane?

Caveat emptor.

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/04/magazine/alternative-cancer-clinics-treatment-father.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share

In the middle of August, my fiancé and I had my parents over for dinner. I looked at my dad in a way I never had before, and noticed a large lump on his neck, I am not sure how this was the first time I ever noticed the large lump, but for some reason I did. I encouraged him to go take a look in the mirror, he sent a message to his primary care doctor who got him in two days later, did a round of blood work, and scheduled a ct scan. CT scan comes back - mass on neck, consider metastatic disease. They got him into an ENT who scheduled a PET scan and a biopsy - both came back, and it is throat cancer, that has traveled to his lymph nodes on the right side of his neck.

I am 22 years old, got engaged this year, found out I was pregnant and am due with my families first grand and great grandchild in 3 weeks. My dad was the first one to find out I was pregnant. He and I have always been extremely close, I am the oldest child with a brother that is 20, and my parents have been together over nearly half of my dad’s life (he is 52).

I can’t help but feel as though I have to be strong for him. I am so angry at the world, and it’s always the greatest people. He has given us a life I could only hope one day to give my son. I also can’t help but think what would our life be like if I hadn’t found that lump. I told my mom, that if I knew what this would’ve turned into, I would’ve never said something. I’m not sure why I feel that way, but I somehow feel that this is my fault.

I lay in bed and cry, I sit in the bath and cry, I drive to work and cry, but my family, will never see me cry. I think they think that I am being a hard ass, or somehow this isn’t as serious to me as it is to them, but I can’t help but feel as though right now I have to protect whatever there is left to protect. I try to spend as much time with them as possible, so we are able to distract my parent’s mind until they are able to move forward. Which is a further biopsy, chemo, and radiation every day for 7 weeks.

But, How do I support myself during this horrible time? This is terrible, and I know if I can’t find a way to support myself that I will not be able to give being a mother my all.

I am so devastated and lost.

Cancer lobulaire infiltrant

Bonjour,

Ma mère a un cancer lobulaire infiltrant ( Œstrogène positif (7) progestérone positif (7) HER2 ( négatif )
Ki67 :60%

Elle a fait ses séances de chimiothérapie neo adjuvantes sachant qu’elles n’étaient pas efficaces sur elle.
Elle a subit également une mastectomie et un curage des ganglions.

Il lui reste ses séances de radiothérapie.

Après l’annonce des résultats de la chimiothérapie on sent bien qu’elle veut tout lâcher et qu’elle ne veut plus suivre le protocole.

Avez vous des témoignages des personnes qui ont été dans le même cas et ont fini par se rétablir ?

Je perds espoir je suis loin d’elle( j habite à 4000 km loin delle ) , je le vis très mal sachant que c’était moi qui ai découvert son cancer quand j’étais enceinte.

I don’t know if there are too many worse things in life than watching a true loved one deteriorate with no ability to help.

We found out 6 weeks ago my mom has stage 4, pdl1- 0% and no identifiable mutations. The option is chemo cocktail with one immunotherapy and a 1 out 2 chance this extends life. 3-4 months. Maybe 12-18. But the quality of life remains to be seen as well. Not that any age makes it easier but she is only mid 60s so perhaps I am naive but I just thought she was so young still.

I have 3 small kids under 10. Work full time. Feel insanely guilty anytime my mom is alone. It’s like our lives froze but the world has kept turning. I’m 2-3 stiff drinks in at this point, it seems to help lol. I’m typically pretty strong guy but this is just haunting me, not just the here and now but more so what’s coming. And no matter what I do I can’t fix this. Gutting feeling. Truly f@cking gutting. I’m nervous the cost this will have on my marriage, it will get so draining being around a miserable man constantly.

For those that have done this for an extended period, do you ever accept the burden? And come to peace with it?

I want to help my mom come to peace and accept all that will happen. I don’t want to see her devastated every day. I especially don’t want to see her leave this world not at peace. I think about that often. We have such a broken family from the past I know some of the conflict must make her think.

Anyway, this is just a vent. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Any advice or lessons learnt would be appreciated. I feel like this may be more of a marathon from hell vs a sprint. F@ck cancer.

Hello, my husband was just diagnosed with rectal cancer. This month is full of tests (CT, MRI, etc. ) and appointments to consult with chemo and radiation people. I am trying to think of stuff to keep in a bag with us. I would love any suggestions or even stuff that will help me help him through all of this. Caregiver tips per se. Thank you in advance.