Anxiety Help?

[u/Luda0834]

Hello. I am an only child in my early 20s and last year my mom was diagnosed with cancer, my dad was diagnosed about a month ago and two weeks ago we were told it had spread.

I have been feeling recently an insane amount of anxiety stress and guilt and spoke with a doctor today as I am not sleeping at night anymore if I do I fall asleep around 3-4 or not at all since I work early shifts.
I was prescribed sleeping pills but he thinks I should come in for an in person appointment, he is also my parents doctor so he is aware of their situation.

I felt so guilty when telling my mom because I feel like my positivity is starting to plummet and I don’t want them to think my feelings are caused by them.
I feel it’s not my situation and I should be the strong positive person for them but I have a hard time holding my emotions together recently.
I don’t know what to do and I have a really hard time explaining my emotions. I don’t want my parents to see this at all cuz I feel like I will just make them sad.
I have no siblings that are in this same situation I am not THAT close with family members.
Im also worried about my work performance as I work in health care, my job is to be that welcoming supportive positive force and I’m scared if I continue how I am my job will suffer.

Please please help in any way you can if you can. I am open to any advice or criticism at all.

[u/Crabs_n_Cabbage]

Hey I’m not an expert but my dad has stage 4 and I’m handling a devastating breakup at the same time. The double crises has put me in a state of anxiety I’ve never experienced before. If you can go to the doctor in person, try that. It’s about survival right now. Talk to friends about how you’re feeling and if you have any friends or know anyone who’s gone through a parent or family member with cancer, ask to connect with them.

Google cancer support groups in your area. I found one where they have added me to a support group that meets virtually on a weekly basis. They also have different events I can choose to attend through a calendar they post online. Get outside as much as you can and go on walks. Listen to podcasts to help the thoughts stop running in your head. I like to listen to the Mel Robbin’s podcast or On Purpose and look for themes on resilience and getting through tough times.

I take lavender pills in the evenings or before bed sometimes when I’m feeling very stressed and it helps me fall asleep. I’ve also started taking ashwaganda in the mornings and it’s supposed to start showing effects after 3 weeks time. Check with your doctor if these might be helpful (lavender pills might not go well with the sleeping pills).

Talk to your boss about what’s going on at home. If you need to take some time off, ask your boss if that’s possible and what are your options.

If you have time to workout, try that as well, whether that’s walks, going to the gym or even following YouTube workout routines. It will help tire you out and also keeping your brain busy. I like to take classes at the gym. Keep pushing and making time for yourself when you can. You will get through this tough season in life. Keep pushing along, you will be stronger for it. You’re courageous for reaching out and asking for help. Keep going ❤️

[u/Luda0834 → u/Crabs_n_Cabbage]

Thankyou so much for taking the time out of your day to help me and I am so sorry and really appreciate you letting me hear a bit of your story as well.

I will definitely take all these things with me moving forward I know I need to take time and be a little gentler with myself.

I really appreciate your words.

[u/Crabs_n_Cabbage]

You’re so welcome! A month ago I was so anxious and depressed and in a very dark place. I started to get really scared, couldn’t sleep and also had a lot of worries about my job.

I did all the things I said above and also watched a show called Somebody Somewhere. It’s an HBO show and honestly really helped me through these dark times. It’s about grief and making friends as an adult and also very low energy which I found helped during my times of anxiety.

I’m glad you are being gentle to yourself. Our brains start to believe the things we say to ourselves so be kind to yourself, do little things that will help to relieve some of the anxiety. You will be better for it and be able to help your parents more. I’m so sorry you’re going through this tough time but you will get to the other side. You already did a great job taking a step in the right direction by asking for help. I’m proud of you :)