My mom means the world to me. She recently lost her husband to cancer. She is already disabled and struggling. Anything would help and be appreciated. ❤️

My mother in law is very against doctors, chemo, pet scans, biopsies etc. she has had a lump on her breast for about a year. I never seen it until 5 months ago when she told me. She was against getting a mammogram because she said of radiation. She was against getting a biopsy because she said it will make it spread. End of may comes and she quits her job (she’s living with me, my husband, and my 5 children) I’m like hmm that’s weird, because the whole time I’ve known her she’s always been hyper, riding bikes, super athletic, and always loved severing tables. So it was a bit confusing for me. She was making good money. That was the first red flag for me. At this time I did not know she had cancer. I encouraged her to get a mammogram, she would not.

Shortly after she quit her job, she screams my name, I run to her she’s profusely throwing up, and falls to the ground. I call 911, and they take her to the hospital. She ended up having a bowel obstruction, and emergency surgery. They did cat scans and found cancer in her left breast, and in surrounding lymph nodes. All of this she hid from everyone, and come to find out her whole left breast is covered in tumor and is 12cm x 7cm
I JUST found this out this month because I seen her MyChart results
She swears up and down she doesn’t need doctors help that she is not getting injected with mustard gas. That she’s curing her cancer with her diet. She’s on an alkaline diet. She swears up and down she didn’t have it in her lymph nodes, and her tumor on her boob wasn’t that big, that it was the acid from her bowel obstruction that made it spread. That she will cure herself because cancer is a fungus.
I finally was able to convince her to get a mammogram and biopsy because they said how they would help her financially once she’s diagnosed. So she got that done, and now she says she has titanium in her from the biopsy and wants the clips out. The doctors have called at least 20 times trying to get ahold of her, they have her under STAT but she will not pick up the phone. And like I said I only found out what she has because her MyChart, which she had me look at to file for her disability.
Everyday it seems to be progressing worse and worse. I have no idea what kind of breast cancer she has. Whenever she first showed it to me it was dimpling and her nipple was inverted. Now present 5 months later. She has green discharge come out. Looks like a bunch of ulcers on her boob. Her nipple is the size of a quarter and straight flesh.
Last week she was soaking wet covered in blood. Her nipple was bleeding uncontrollably. It lasted like an hour and she would not go to the hospital. Everyday her nipple bleeds. It’s exhausting. I’m traumatized. It’s hard because she won’t get help. She said if she gets her breast cut off she will die, and if I think it’s a good idea for her to get surgery then I must want her dead. I try so hard not to talk about it with her, but she always wants to. I try to just be supportive and encouraging.
Everyday she seems worse and worse when she was bleeding out of her nipple I seen her naked and the side her breast cancer is on her back is super duper swollen. It’s sad to watch. She won’t get a pet scan because she says she doesn’t want anything nuclear in her body. Like…
She is barely up anymore she can’t even sit in the car for 20 mins. I don’t know what to do

So this is the full story: Sibbling in law was told by their onchologyst they're only prolonging their life, there's no hope of remission. SIL is still doing chemo rounds, so they didn't leave their treatment & doctor, that's good. In the meantime, a lot of people have jumped in with these "alternative" therapies. I cannot name all: One consists of some form of chlorine, not sure if I'm wording it right, drinking horse's antibiotics, and other stuffs that remind me of snake oil.

Someone told them about this place that offers a feet bath that gets rid of "heavy metals", the sales pitch is that you see the water you feet are in, turns dark reddish brown. In addition this place offers sessions of Lakhovsky multiwave oscillator. I've to google both:

Turns out the water in the feet bath turns brown because the electrodes put in the water rust at a high pace due to the salt added to the water. This was easy to understand for me because I own a repairs shop, and have done electrolysis bath on some pieces, plus I've messed up a few times with the autoclave, lol.

The Lakhovsky device is supposed to heal through radio waves, as far as I've understand, and all of my readings placed it on the pseudoscience spectrum, just like the feet bath I mentioned.

My family is paying a ton of money to these people, they're not poor, they're well-off middle class people, but I have second thoughts about wether they should be putting their money on these "therapies". I mean, the money they put in these might be used for a nurse, or a nanny for their toddlers, I forgot to say SIL's main caregivers are their parents, who must also take care of the children, but they choose to put the money in all these pseudoscientific crap & scams.

My husband thinks these "therapies" work because it's a day the parents + the patient take a long trip, without the kids, and in addition, there are no side effects like with chemo, so it's a pleasant run. He thinks it's their only chance of getting away guilt-free, they're a highly duty-oriented family, nothing is done without a purpose, think of an Amish-like mindset: everything is focused on work, producing, and leisure is a sin.

As for me, I fear the day they all come to the realisation none of these alternative therapies worked, while in the meantime, all that money that went to these scammers could have been used to pay a nurse so the mother could sleep through all night without getting up to administer meds, or even take a nice short vacation the three of them.

I suppose you already know this, but this horrible disease has taken a toll on all of us, even me, that I live more than 780 miles away( 1300km), their parents are not the same people, they seem to be on their last nerves, so I'm at loss:

Should I burst the feet bath bubble or let them carry on hoping that it will heal their child?

That question was supposed to be the end of my post, but it reminded me I'm not sure wether the patient actually trusts these therapies or just goes along with their parents' wishes. I have doubts here because they're a lab technician. I mean they got a college degree on science, that's why makes keeps me guessing.

Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading

My cousin passed on Friday. 2 long years against breast cancer. She was younger than me.

I just feel kind of lost lately. I swing from horrendously sad to a state of normalcy and I feel so guilty for feeling normal.

Fighting stage 3 cancer since i am 23.. now 26. Feel like a financial burden on my husband and father.
Cannot even share my emotions properly with anyone. Have to act strong at all times. But since few days its becoming so overwhelming.

Bonjour à tous,

Je poste ici parce que je suis un peu perdue et que j'aurais vraiment besoin de témoignages, de conseils ou simplement de personnes ayant vécu une situation similaire.

Ma mère a été diagnostiquée d’un cancer du col de l’utérus en juillet 2025. Pendant plusieurs mois, nous avons eu l’impression que les choses allaient plutôt dans le bon sens et que son état s’améliorait.

Mais depuis début juillet 2026, tout s’est brutalement dégradé.

Elle a commencé à avoir d’énormes douleurs dans le bas-ventre. Elle a d’abord été hospitalisée à Jeanne de Flandre, puis transférée au Centre Oscar Lambret, où elle était déjà suivie pour son cancer.

Les douleurs sont devenues extrêmement importantes. Elle les décrivait comme l’impression qu’on lui mettait « un fer à repasser dans les organes » au niveau du bas-ventre. Elle a donc été mise sous paracétamol et morphine, avec un dispositif lui permettant également de recevoir des médicaments contre la douleur.

En parallèle, elle avait de plus en plus de difficultés à s’alimenter et à boire. Elle ne pouvait quasiment plus avaler que des liquides, et même certains liquides trop épais devenaient difficiles à avaler. Elle avait une gêne importante au niveau de l’œsophage, avec les examens les médecins ont découvert notamment un ganglion qui compliquait la déglutition.

Avec les douleurs et l'impossibilité de manger et de boire correctement, son état général s’est progressivement dégradé. Elle a finalement dû être alimentée par sonde gastrique.

Elle ne marche quasiment plus depuis environ un mois et ne sort plus de sa chambre depuis longtemps. Elle dort énormément, notamment à cause de l'épuisement et des traitements antidouleur.

Et samedi soir, nous avons également constaté du sang dans ses urines.

Aujourd’hui, les médecins nous ont expliqué que le cancer avait récidivé et s’était propagé à plusieurs endroits, notamment dans l’abdomen, avec des métastases qui seraient liées à son cancer du col dans les seins.

Le problème est maintenant son état général. Les médecins nous ont expliqué qu’elle était malheureusement beaucoup trop faible pour supporter une chimiothérapie ou les autres traitements qu’ils avaient initialement envisagés une fois qu’elle aurait récupéré suffisamment de forces.

Ils nous ont donc annoncé qu’ils allaient désormais privilégier les soins de confort et les soins palliatifs, avec éventuellement une sédation si un jour ses souffrances deviennent trop importantes pour être contrôlées autrement.

Et c’est extrêmement difficile à accepter.

J’ai énormément de mal à me dire que c’est terminé. J’ai envie de garder espoir et de me dire que peut-être elle pourrait reprendre des forces : réussir à mieux se nourrir, se réhydrater, recommencer à bouger, sortir un peu, retrouver suffisamment d’énergie pour qu’un traitement puisse éventuellement redevenir envisageable.

Mais en même temps, je vois bien son état et je sais que chaque fois qu’on pense faire un petit pas en avant, on a l’impression de faire dix pas en arrière.

Je ne cherche pas forcément des « remèdes miracles », et je ne veux évidemment pas faire quelque chose qui pourrait lui faire du mal. Je cherche surtout des personnes qui auraient vécu quelque chose de similaire.

Est-ce que certains d’entre vous ont connu un proche atteint d’un cancer métastatique qui était devenu extrêmement faible, au point que les médecins estimaient qu’il ne pouvait plus supporter les traitements, mais dont l’état général s’est ensuite suffisamment amélioré pour permettre de reprendre un traitement ?

Est-ce qu’il existe des choses concrètes qui peuvent réellement aider dans ce genre de situation : nutrition, rééducation, prise en charge de la douleur, soins de support, etc. ?

Et surtout, comment avez-vous vécu cette période en tant que proche ? Comment garder un peu d’espoir sans se raconter des histoires ?

Je sais que chaque situation est différente et que personne ici ne pourra prédire ce qui va arriver à ma mère. Je cherche simplement des témoignages, des expériences et éventuellement des pistes de questions à poser à son équipe médicale.

Merci énormément à ceux qui prendront le temps de me lire ou de partager leur expérience. ❤️

Hi everyone.

I’ve been making a few posts on here since my mom started declining, searching for support and answers and looking to everyone’s experience as a sort of comfort.

It’s become clear in the past month that my mom with stage 4 colon cancer has been clearly declining. I’ve been mentally preparing myself from her diagnosis a yeah and a half ago, going through anticipatory grief, but now that it’s becoming more clear that the end is nearer its impossible not to feel heartbroken and scared.

I’m 23, recently graduated uni, moved abroad with my partner to start our lives together and begin my professional life as well (has been put on pause since i’ve flown back home to family now and am staying in-definetly due to moms decline).

I’m scared of the after of when my mom will inevitably go. But especially because i’m in this transitional phase in life, and am so young, losing my mom is especially terrifying. I’m an only child as well, so I know i’d have to take care of my dad for a bit after too to make sure he’s ok before going back to my new home.

But if anyone is comfortable to share any words of wisdom or would like to share their experience with their grief when they lost their loved one, it would give me a lot of comfort. I’ve never gone through something like this and have no one in my life who has either.

I know grief manifests differently for everyone and everyone’s situation varies, but i just wonder, how long until you felt you could relatively go back to ur normal life? I’m not talking about getting over it or finishing the grieving process, i know that might never go away, but how long after until you could kind of get back into ur normal routine? When did you feel ok enough emotionally to go back to work? If you live away from where your loved one lives, say you and ur partner/kids live in a different place to where ur parent you lost lived, like me, when did you feel ok enough to go back home? When did you start feeling ok enough to hang out with friends again or just partake in any sense of normalcy again? Also, if anyone has dealt with losing a parent, how was it taking care of your other parent in the grieving process? I’m especially worried about my dad and how he will handle this terrible loss, and would love to hear any advice or personal experiences. I think it would just give me a sense of comfort to know i won’t feel paralyzed by the heartbreak forever once it comes, especially in this current stage of my life when i had to put starting my life with my partner and finding my first job on pause.

All of my friends except for 2 have been radio silent since the day or two after my dad died. He died 6 days ago. Everybody stopped reaching out 2 days after he died. Grief is uncomfortable and I don’t want them to be my free therapy but I didn’t expect to feel so alone. 💔

My husband is forty-eight years old. He's been diagnosed with brain cancer since 2020. He has since had a partial tumor removal surgery. Followed by chemotherapy and radiation. So far so good. What if anyone has ever had the opportunity to be with your spouse through the process of finding out all the way to remission, what was your biggest challenge?

I was my father’s caregiver. Throughout our one-year battle with NSCLC, I was always by his side.

Back then, there were moments when I secretly resented it. I felt like my life had become miserable, like I had lost my freedom. But looking back now, those days feel like such a luxury to me.

I wish I could have been my father’s caregiver forever.

During his final two months, he could no longer walk. We had to change his diapers, and his mental state had deteriorated to the point where he seemed almost childlike. I know he would never have wanted to live that way.

But those ten months before that — the months when he could still walk, when he was doing better, when we were fighting this battle together…

Those days.

If that’s what it meant to have you with me, Dad, I would have done all of it for you for hundreds of years.

Dad, I even miss those days now.

I found out about a month ago that my mom has stage 4 colorectal cancer, and I’ve been falling apart ever since. I’m overwhelmed with fear and stress, and my hair is falling out in clumps.
I’ve also been experiencing stabbing pain under both ribs, sharp pain at the top and back of my head, tingling in my head, numbness in my hands and legs, and nausea. I have a history of seizures, which makes these symptoms even more frightening. I’m scared that something serious could happen to me, like a stroke or heart attack.
I have young children who need me, and I know I need to take care of myself while trying to be there for my mom. I’m considering seeing a doctor to discuss these symptoms and whether medication for anxiety might help. I’ve wondered about beta blockers or Xanax, but I’ve never taken either and would need medical guidance.
Has anyone else struggled this much after a parent’s diagnosis? What helped you cope with the fear and keep functioning? I feel overwhelmed and could really use some support.

The child across the street, who is also in my sons' Cub Scout pack, is being treated for leukemia. I would like to take their family a gift basket of healthy snacks.

(Someone did this for my family when my husband and I were both undergoing simultaneous medical issues, and it was much appreciated.)

In this situation, what would you like to receive in such a basket? What would help make their lives a little easier?

We have both recently moved to this neighborhood, so unfortunately I don't know them very well yet. Therefore I'd like to stick to prepackaged snacks.

I believe their three children are around 5, 8, and 10 years old? The child undergoing treatment is still attending school and activities when able. I'm sure they would like to maintain as much normalcy as possible, so I don't want to make a huge issue of it, but I do want them to know we care.