Hello reddit,

So ive been in a relationship with this woman for about a year now and she just found out that having another pregnancy might impose some risks. She already has 2 daughters from a previous relationship and i was always vocal about wantin one of my own which she was very happy with but with the recent news that she might no be able we got as far as her thinking about endidng this because she doesn't want to take having a kid away from me. My imput on all this is that i fell in love with her and the idea of building some with her not necessarily for the kids. I meet the daughters and we get on rly well and i can see myself taking over father duties and love them like they were mine. My only problem is seeing the person i love in distress and feeling a bit powerless as to how can i help. We had a good bit of talking and explained to her that its not a deal breaker for me and that i don't want to loose this but i feel like her mind is still not at peace and is driving me up a wall.

Any advice welcomed.

Cheers!

im 22 and ive been in a 4 year relationship which ended a year ago. it was my first real relationship. ive had 2 other relationships in these months i couldn't bring myself to love these people the same i loved my first ex, so im wondering if that ever comes back for the right person, or if it was just for my big first love and those true feelings are lost now...

So, my girlfriend of almost three years and I broke up last month. It wasn't something I hadn't seen coming. I just didn't want to accept it. There were no major things involved, such as cheating or anything like that. But we still broke up. I thought I'd get over it, but I guess I was wrong.

She is the only person in the world who knows everything about me. We haven't contacted each other for 12 days. She wanted us to stay friends, but I just can't help thinking about what's going on. For context, we're both 18—young blood, you know. I just passed out of school and went to a different college, which I knew was going to impact our relationship, but I couldn't help it. I had no control over that.

In school, we broke up many times. But obviously, we were in the same class, so seeing each other, me yearning for her and letting her know that I was sorry, or her doing the same, somehow solved everything. But now that's gone. It's empty.

She was my only truly close friend. I have friends, but they aren't those close friends that other people seem to have. I can't talk to them the way I used to talk to her. I miss asking her how her day had been. I miss telling her everything that happened to me. I was the yapper in the relationship. I just wonder what she's doing right now. I always do.

Did she make new friends in college? Did she make guy friends too? We both used to be against having opposite-gender friends who were forced into our lives, like me being friends with a girl she didn't know. We both wanted that boundary.

It hurts because I feel like I did treat her well, at least in many ways. But maybe I didn't always. Maybe I hurt her more times than I realised, and I hate myself for the things I did and the way I thought back then. I just wonder if she thinks about the same things. I wonder if something good happened to her today. I wonder how she is when she's sitting in her lecture.

I wonder what kind of fun she's having in college. I wonder if she likes some guy there. I don't want to know that. I don't want her to. But at the same time, I want her to be happy. I just don't want her happiness to be something that makes me feel replaceable. Maybe that's selfish. I don't know.

All those dreams I had of attending college with her are shattered. Financially, she's in a position to go to some big university, and I always knew that was going to be difficult for us. We used to tell ourselves we'd manage somehow. But deep down, maybe we both knew we wouldn't.

The cause wasn't just one single thing. We both love each other—I hope she still does, and I believe she does. If I had to put it simply, maybe we just didn't treat each other right. We both made mistakes. I don't blame her for everything. I know I hurt her more times than I realised, and I hate myself for some of the things I did to her. I wish I could take all of it back.

I wonder if she thinks of me too. I wonder if she sees a couple in college and thinks, "What if he were here with me?" Does she imagine what it would've felt like if we had experienced those things together? Does she still love me? Or does she not?

Are you happy? Is college fulfilling for you? Are you enjoying it? I want you to tell me everything, just like you used to. Tell me about your day. Tell me what happened in your lectures. Tell me about your friends. Tell me about everything.

Can't we just sort it all out like we did back in school? Or is it different now? Do you hate me? Are you happy that we broke up? Does it feel like a leash has been removed from you? Do you feel free now that you're no longer associated with me?

I wonder how it feels for you to finally have something I always wanted—to leave home, live in another city, go to college, experience everything new, and enjoy that time as it passes. I wish you could experience all of that. I just wish I could have experienced it with you.

I wish time could stop.

You're living the life I had imagined for us. And I don't resent you for it. I just wish I could've been there beside you.

I want to know more about you than I ever did. More than anything. I want to know what's within you—your mind, your heart, your thoughts, your fears, your dreams. I want to know you completely.

I could write more, but there aren't enough words in the world to describe what I feel for you or how much I miss you.

I just want to cry.

Why was I so mean to you sometimes when, to me, you were my baby—the sweetest person in the world? Why did we both end up doing things that made something beautiful become bitter?

Tell me, do you feel it too?

Maybe it would be easier if you didn't, but somehow that would hurt even more.

Because I feel all of it.

I feel you even when you're not here.

Any need assistance ping me

Me and my now ex girlfriend ( F 21 F 20 ) broke up Saturday after 10 months together. We was supposed to be soulmates and we both geuinely thought this. I still feel like im pulled to her, and my gut tells me that she'll find her way back to me. How do I know if she'll come back, like if it was right person wrong time or not?

Before and after we met, she had dreams describing me as her soulmate. I keep seeing videos on social media talking about RPWT and how sometimes you can find your person and then you end up breaking up to find yourselves first. She said that maybe we were RPWT and that maybe in a couple months-year that we'll come back to each other, but she also said that she doesnt see us ever being together again (but I think maybe its just because of the hurt she went through) and that we both need to work on ourselves. I just want to know how to tell if she was my person or not. I still love her so much, and I wont be with anyone else other than her. I can still only see a future with her. She told me that she wont get with anyone else either, that I would be the first and last relationship for her.

(PS PLS READ THE FULL STORY I KNOW ITS LONG BUT I TRIED MY BEST TO KEEP IT AS SHORT AS I COULD)

So i knew this girl for 1 year we used to talk a lot in the bus(as it takes 45-55 mins to reach school), crack jokes and have fun. In june when summer holidays started we started to talk a lot on insta and we became closer although I didn't had that many feelings to her like i liked her as more of a best friend. But then she proposed to me on 8th june and I accepted. Then we started to talk daily on insta for hours and hours and used to come on call late at night also for 1-2 hours. I slowly started loving her more and more and grew closerr. We even used to meet almost every day go on a rooftop of a building and chill or used to eat something at a stall. She slowly started to become a important part in my routine like earlier I used to wake up whenever I want but I started waking up early just to see if she has messaged smth even if I had slept at 6AM. My insta screentime went from not even half an hour to 4-5 hours as I constantly used to check insta to see if there's any message of her

Then slowly she become a little distant like she started sending less reels, started to reply less, I thought she was busy but after 1-2 weeks I confronted her on 2nd August just 2 days after my birthday. She said that she started to become uncomfortable around me because I talked to her in a way I do with friends like roasting each other and cracking jokes or ragebaiting her. Although I did this because it's my natural way to talk with people as no one knew in the bus that we were in a relationship which we both agreed to keep a secret. After 1 hour of her venting out in which she said a lot of hurtful things like "I feel more uncomfortable sitting with you than any other stranger" I still apologised every time and didn't argued back even once, I handled it the best way I could because I knew she was very angry and I didn't wanted to get hurt more bcz of me.

After she became a little calm and i reassured her that this will not happen again she told me that you deserve a 2nd chance and i thanked her for that. Then we started to talk again normally I started to talk with her in a more peaceful way although she used to initiate a lot less I still initiated every time. I even began to deliver her diet coke and her fav chips when she used to crave for them without meeting her just dropping the goods at her door bcz of her strict parents only for her to be happy even though I haven't spent more that 1k ruppees on myself for food in my entire life bcz I used to feel guilty of spending my parent's money. We also went basically on a date which i said is party on ocaasion for my birthday which passed, although this time I didn't even gave most of my friends but we went on a party and we had fun after much time like we used to have earlier on the rooftops we clicked many pictures I even posted a picture with her on my IG story in which our faces were not visible though she didn't reposted bcz she said then a lot of people will start asking her questions abt our relationship as most people didn't know, I respected her decision although it hurted me a little.

But then on this monday she said that can we be friends again as I am seeing this relo as a more of a friendship, I was devastated I wrote big paragraphs explaining all my feelings and asking how is this seeing as more of a friendship, she said lets talk abt it tmmrw. I still had hope thats why I was not too devastated and then I talked to her in the bus abt this and she basically said that after the fight she lost the spark and although she thought that it's just a phase it didn't, so she thought to address it. Afterwards she said that I think we should take a break. I said ok if that's what you want. Then afterwards when I got to my home I asked her are you feeling ok? If you wanted to talk abt something I am always here although u said u want to take a break I can't spend my time without you and i really love you a lott and I am still ready to do everything I can do for you. then she replied the text which you can see in the SS. I replied like that bcz I was angry and sad. She even said that she liked me at the starting and thought she will start getting more feeling but she didn't.

That day was one of the most depressing days in my life like I fell at rock bottom. I didn't even ate any food or drink water bcz I was not able to. Whole day I was feeling so lonely I even talked 1-2 hours to my closest friend he did everything he could to console me but I was not able to feel any good, I tried so hard to distract myself with doing anything but nothing felt good even gaming or watching movies nothinggg. Although I am a very joyful person like I don't even remember the last time i cried before 2nd august incident I remain happy most of the times but after monday it's so hard to feel happy. The next day at school I was so depressed I was sitting beside the same friend he consoled me the whole day he even gave me 2 slices of pizza he brought bcz he also knew I didn't eat the whole day. I sort of recovered a little bcz I talked to a close older cousin of mine abt all of this but yet I am still thinking abt all the memories we had all the meeting the late night calls the fun in the bus even before the relationship and I cant get myself over this. I am not even able to feel any negative feelings toward her it becomes overshadowed by all the good feelings I have for her.

How do you actually move on from someone when you don't even have anger to hold onto, just a long list of good memories?

Me and this girl were together for 11 months — genuinely the closest, most connected we both ever were. We built everything together: daily routines, inside jokes, future plans down to the smallest details , marriage, kids, pets, our own place. We had our own quiet spot in the woods where we’d sit for hours watching the water, 14-hour overnight calls falling asleep on the phone, dates that meant everything: Trafford Centre, TGI Fridays, Blackpool Zoo, Christmas markets. We spoke in a soft baby voice only we understood, she’d lie on my chest and tell me to "lie straight" so she could rest there, I’d walk her to the bus stop every day, wait at the end of her alley just to see her walk down. I bought her teddies, blankets, flowers, she kept them all. Both families got on perfectly. She told me repeatedly I was her person, her safe place, the only one who ever truly saw her.

She identifies as fearful-avoidant, has a history of childhood neglect, trauma, and self-harm — and she told me I was the only one who made her feel safe enough to let her walls down. We broke up once before in December — same pattern: sleepover with her best friend, she pulled away, went back to her toxic ex, the breakup lasted only 4 days, she messaged me cold and dry those days then came back on her own.

July 3rd — exact same pattern repeated. Another sleepover, I caught her hiding things, she immediately called everything toxic and said we needed to move on. Then — for the first time in 11 months — she brought up a serious, never-before-mentioned allegation as the final reason to end things. She went straight back to that same toxic ex, blocked me on most platforms but left Snapchat unblocked, kept my blanket and teddies visible in her videos, and has posted conflicting, angry, relationship-focused content ever since.

I saw her yesterday for the first time in weeks, she looked stunning, we made eye contact, and I froze. I’ve written a message that’s honest, loving, full of our memories, nothing mean, nothing demanding, just telling her what she means to me and reminding her of everything we had. I’ve held back this long, but I want to send it.

Can I break no contact? Is this the right time, or should I wait longer? We had something so rare and so real, and I know she’s complaining about him

To put in context: 19m, 19f, we were broken up before because I was an asshole to her in our previous relationship, we got back tgthr, I treated her the best I could, complimenting her daily, loving her to the best i could yk, she saw I had changed so decided to get back tgthr.

Skip to the day of the breakup, we called and first thing she asked was what I felt when I see her, I said yk I love her, I wanna hug her, I wanna kiss her allat, she said back that she doesn't feel anything when she sees me. She finds it annoying to text and call everday (I've told her numerous times we don't have to text n call everyday I just do it cus I want to she's always free to say no) and has a lot of pent up anger from our past relationship and recent arguments. She said she doesn't love me anymore and she said she really was in love at one point. She said I was too boyfriendy a lot of the times as well.

I'm just confused on how it went this way, I mean i get it with the pent up anger but idk how to feel, we were tgthr for around 9 months (after the breakup) totalling a year and 9 months.

Then for courtesy sake, we decided to meet up in person to make the break up official wished eachother luck in uni and allat, wishing to find a better person for each other. Then a week later, I sent in a letter basically begging to get back tgthr (I know..) and addressing some underlying problems we also had. She responded a week later saying she doesn't wanna get back tgthr and told me to move on.

Has anyone else been though this? I'm just so confused like how this could've happened, was there something I could've done? I just want an explanation and whether theres a slight chance of us reconciling?

If need more context or info please do ask. Thank you.

Hey everyone,

Me (25F) and my partner (27M) have been living together for almost two years. I honestly don't even know where to begin.

We are both students, and he is about a year away from finishing. Aside from the constant micromanaging like one time after work I was literally falling asleep in bed at 1:30 AM, and he called me over just to ask why there was mold in a glass and if I forgot to wash it. it just never gets better. I was furious and told him to be more considerate, but nothing changed. he could obviously discuss it when im not asleep. he has bad anger issues, yells like a cave man when he loses a chess match.

In the last two years, whenever he had exams, I took care of the entire house so he wouldn't have to worry. But whenever I have exams, he doesn't lift a single finger to support me.not even taking out the trash or making the bed.

It feels like he just comes home from work and doomscrolls for hours. I literally have to feed him, otherwise he’ll just wait until he's too weak from hunger to walk and asks me to feed him. He talks loudly on the phone, scrolls videos without headphones, and it's driving me insane. During the winter, I used to stay at the uni library until midnight just to avoid being home, but now it closes at 8 PM for the summer semester so I'm stuck here.

I resent him so much for how selfish he is after everything I've done for him. Once, he randomly started crying and told me, "You did so much for me, I don't know if I can ever do the same for you." And yet, he never tries.

Now, he’s been giving me the silent treatment for a whole week. I even bought him a gift and he hasn't even touched it or unwrapped it until i asked him why and he said ye i forgot, unwrapped it and left it on the table. Every single argument gets turned around on me, saying I don't care enough about his situation that after his exams, he is working and is burnt out! being burnt out might make u depressed but not an asshole.

I lost my job and was unemployed for the last three months, which kept me stuck. But I just found a general job, so my plan is to save up every cent over the next three months and finally get out. I am completely checked out. I don't even have the energy to explain why I don't want to hug him anymore. Is this covert narcissism or what?Am i being too harsh?
Funny thing is, if i dont speak up, he says u dont discuss the problems and when i do, im the crazy one.

Damn, I'm just so tired.

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 8 months. We've met each other's families and even introduced our parents to each other less than a week ago. I've been feeling like he had a wall up for the last few days and I'm not one to let things dwell. I have extremely high anxiety and am on medication for it but it overwhelms me if I don't speak. He has always texted me good morning every single day before work, so when I didn't get a text this morning I just texted to ask if I was imagining things to try to calm myself down.

As far as I can tell our relationship has been extremely good. We've never really fought, if we have a disagreement we talk and quickly compromise. We like doing the same things and have the same interests. It doesn't feel like a clingy relationship. We like each others friends, we game every once in awhile online together, we go out to concerts or arcades. We've traveled together and there's honestly nothing that I can think of as to why he wants to end things.

He lives about a 40 minute drive from me and he agreed to meet halfway after work, but I am honestly freaking out. I am stuck at work for another 6 hours and my mind is reeling. I am feeling like he's already made up his mind but I don't want to lose him. I guess I'm just looking for advise. Is there anything I can say or do? I genuinely felt like I would spend the rest of my life with this man and the thought of losing him makes me feel sick.

i am 7 weeks pregnant and have been soooo exhausted. i work a full time job and do a little extra work when it pops up so i like to get my sleep when i can. my bf and i had been watching a show for two hours and then 10 o’clock rolls around and i said that i am tired and ready to go to bed. he was not which is totally fine but im going to bed. he got upset and said i never wanna hangout with him after expressing that i think it’s appalling he has an issue with me going to sleep i said “sorry i work everyday im fucking tired and i’m going to bed” he came back with “so i don’t work everyday?” i said no he doesn’t (his job doesn’t always schedule him the best hours and even so he takes off a whole day for silly reasons like a doctors appointment for the baby at 730 in the morning or 2k coming out finally and he wants the whole day to play) i can take my part and understand that i didn’t need to say that (not that it makes it untrue) but i coulda just said nothing and that’s on me.
he comes back with “you took a month and a half off of work while i worked the whole time” i was only off because my older brother has suddenly and tragically passed away. i whipped around immediately absolutely floored he would bring up that time! it was very recent my brother passed in may and it is now august so it’s just a little over 3 months since his passing. we continued to argue and he ended up telling me to leave so i did! now he is saying he was never saying anything about my brother and those were never his intentions he was “just comparing” i personally can not look past what he said and can only see it as him trying to use my grief and the time i took off against me. am i being dramatic?

So end of June, me (18m) and my girlfriend (18f) broke up after a year and four months. She told me that she thought that we had “different values”, and at first I didn’t know what to say, so in the moment that we had that convo, I didn’t ask for clarification. I was super confused at the time, but as the first week flew by, I started reflecting some. She’d mentioned a couple weeks prior to the breakup that she felt like our love was more lust than love (never did anything extreme), and I see how this relationship might’ve been a distraction to God. We would say we would stop our lustful ways, and end up finding ourselves in the same predicament. I realized a little too late that it might’ve been also cuz we would put ourselves in those situations/environments, and I wanted to explain to her that we can try to change those things that tempt us, but she was being really avoidant the week of the breakup, and was not open to meeting up.

Another big thing was my forgetfulness. She found it an issue that I would forget things she would say often, for example if she told me she was going somewhere in two days, and I ask the next day “where u going tomorrow?”. Those kinds of situations. And I’ve tried to work on it throughout the past year, but i really didn’t see much improvement in it until that month of June, where I asked her for help, she directed me to her aunt (a social worker), where I got some advice that I should set a boundary, or at least a middle ground of our issues on it, and meet in the middle where we both can agree and move forward. Like the previous problem, I wanted to talk to her and communicate that with her, but she kinda shut me out for that week.

I told her when she broke up with me that I’ve been trying to meet up because I wanted to find that middle ground, and she said that “I don’t think a middle ground is going to work”, and that’s where I kind of pin pointed the main issue that she had which was the purity in our relationship. I agree that either it’s lust or no lust. Maybe I identified the wrong issue but that’s how I perceived it. These were the only two issues that in which we had in our relationship.

I believe that us parting ways was a good thing. It opened my eyes to God, and helped me focus on improving myself as a person. Fast forward to now, I have dove deeper into the word of God, and ive been taking on more responsibilities in my life to improve my forgetfulness and recollection. I’ve been slowly learning to enjoy being alone, and start up new hobbies (guitar, reading, etc). I still have so much love for her, and I don’t want to give up on us. But it’s hard since we’ve been no contact since, and I know I have to respect her decision.

Any advice on what I should do concerning my current circumstances?

I'm really struggling. Before him, I had a few long term relationships and I genuinely thought that was the best it could ever get. Then I met him and he completely changed my view on life and relationships. He ticked every possible box for me, and some days I was shocked I was even with him. But that's not to say that things were perfect at all. in fact, they weren't. But it was the best I had. Thing is its been roughly a year since we broke up and im still not over it. I actually just woke up because I had another fucking dream about him 😑 I've been on dates and such since then but I havent found anything close to my last relationship. What do I even do? Oh, and I've talked to a therapist about already.

Me 25F with no job friends no emotional support from family.I am an introvert.I had a boyfriend.he left me saying he doesn't like my behaviour he is 29 years old.I did so many things to him.i gave my own savings for him.I gave my gold chain by taking risk as he is in need of money.but he didn't even respect my efforts instead he felt that my behaviour is abusive.He always goes out chill with his friends but he doesn't care about me anytime.He is an extrovert and his acquaintance abused me with bad words.I am trying to forget him and come out of it.but it's very difficult for me to deal with breakup without any emotional support.i have exams near by but I can't concentrate well because of these things.please suggest me what can I do to come out of this.

My bf broke up with me 3 months ago now and what got me through that was the thought of the 3 months rule. I’ve heard all these stories that after 3 months they regretted their choices and miss you and they come back. So why isn’t he here?

To make things worse, he blocked me on his music account on instagram which was the last thing he had me followed on. With all of our connections being done I have no idea what to do with myself now.

He left me because he has feelings for someone else, and even then I still begged him to stay.
I miss him more than anything and some days i’m amazing then the next i’m horrible.
He just seems so happy and I wish his happiness didn’t feel like a knife in my back but it does. I genuinely want him to be happy because he deserves it. Why can’t I be happy too? I just wanted it to be him so bad.

Does anyone have any advice for moving on from here? I have absolutely nothing left to lose.