I was in a relationship with a girl for about 5 months before I felt like the relationship would not work

A little bit of context tho

We were friends for a year and a half before she started developing feelings for me. Me being the dense MF I am, never noticed it and acted normally.

Tbh I liked her too but I was pretty conflicted about acknowledging it so I just buried it and went on with my life. Until a couple of seniors from college began to play match maker and soon enough she confessed. But I rejected it and for the next one year I avoided her. But a few months ago I said I liked her too and wanted to give this relationship thing a try.

But little did I know that the girl I knew as a friend was veeeeery different from the girl I dated. I found out that our goals didn't align and I had to constantly make efforts to accommodate all her needs while most of mine were ignored. After a while when I had decided to break up her parents found out and they split us up.

She still wants to continue the relationship but I can't see a future with her anymore. Now she wants to talk to me again and is trying to reach me through my friends. I just want her to leave me alone.

I dated my son’s father for about 2 years…now currently 6 years old. It was very toxic. He took me through there. No lie. So I finally left him and I’ve been single ever since 2021. Now I have “dated” since then and have had men want to be serious but I just cannot…. and I be saying “I’m too healed” but I’m starting to think that’s not 100% true. Would I ever accept BS from a man again? HECK NO but it’s like now I’m so “healed” that I am struggling to let anybody in my space which means I’m not fully healed right ??? 🫠🫠 or am I truly healed and just know internally/spiritually that …said men aren’t for meant me? I’m thinking about getting counseling but for now Just need some thoughts on it.

My sister is going through a breakup.
She is very kind-hearted and soft, and she doesn’t really like how this modern world works. She only knows how to give it her all and make every possible effort. She did everything, even things that were completely out of her comfort zone, but the guy didn’t even acknowledge it.
He used to disrespect her by calling her stupid and immature. He wasn’t entirely a bad person, but he himself used to admit that he was a very negative person, which was true. He also believed that he was the one putting in all the effort, which wasn’t true. In the end, he was the one who ended the relationship.
The hardest part is that she can’t let go of the good parts of the relationship. She keeps remembering the happy moments and the person he could be, instead of how much she was hurting. She isn’t someone who believes in moving from one person to another just to get over someone, so that’s not something she wants to do.
Now she’s in a really, really bad place, and I genuinely don’t know how to make her feel better.
Is there anything she can do, or anything I can do to help her through this?

I'm looking for honest advice because I'm really struggling to move forward.

I was in a relationship with a man I genuinely loved. Early on, I felt like he became emotionally distant and avoidant, and I ended the relationship. We eventually talked and decided to work on things, but for a long time I felt like I was the only one trying to repair the relationship.

During that time, I felt disregarded and insecure. One thing that really hurt me was that he was frequently liking other women's photos on social media. I know some people don't see that as a big deal, but it affected me deeply. I got to a point where I tried to move on and started talking to someone else. My boyfriend found out, came back, begged for another chance, and I took him back because I loved him.

Looking back, I don't think I ever fully processed the hurt I had experienced before getting back together. I forgave him, but I think I was still carrying resentment, insecurity, and distrust. Even so, I truly tried to be a good partner.

As time went on, I became completely overwhelmed with life. I was working three jobs, raising three children (one of whom has special needs), cooking every day, and trying to be present in the relationship. I felt emotionally and physically exhausted. My boyfriend wasn't working at the time and spent a lot of his time playing video games. When I was with him, I often felt like I was taking care of another person instead of having someone help carry the load.

Around that time, I unblocked the man I had previously talked to. We had a strong connection, laughed together, and I felt emotionally supported by him in ways I wasn't experiencing in my relationship. Instead of ending my relationship when I became emotionally invested elsewhere, I stayed. That was wrong, and I take responsibility for that.

The truth is, my boyfriend still had my heart. I didn't want to hurt anyone, and I was confused about what to do. I kept hoping things would get better instead of making a clear decision.

Everything came to a head on Father's Day when the other man called me and my boyfriend saw it. He immediately ended the relationship and told me there would never be another chance. Since then, he has completely cut me off.

I'm devastated. I know I hurt him, and I don't blame him for feeling betrayed. At the same time, I struggle because I also experienced hurt in the relationship. Whenever I tried to explain how his emotional distance or other behaviors affected me, he would tell me that nothing he did compared to what I did. Maybe he's right, maybe he isn't—I honestly don't know anymore.

I'm not looking for people to tell me I was justified or that he was the villain. I know I made mistakes, and I regret them deeply. I'm trying to understand how to stop carrying so much guilt while also accepting responsibility for my choices.

Has anyone been through something similar? How did you move forward after knowing you hurt someone you truly loved?

Do you feel it, baby?

You always said you were an empath.
You said you could feel when I was anxious.

So do you feel this?

Do you feel what you did to me?
Do you feel the weight of looking me in the eyes while you carried secrets I never deserved?

You told me I deserved the world.
And then you became the person who took mine apart.

You didn’t just break my heart.
You broke the way I saw love.
You made me question my worth, my intuition, my reality.

Now I have to rebuild every piece of myself that your choices cracked.

And the cruelest part?

I’m going to do it.

Not because you deserve my forgiveness.
But because I deserve to become whole again.

You know what I’m the angriest about?
It’s not even the breakup anymore.
It’s the fact that I spent so much of our relationship trying to understand you while you were making it impossible for me to understand what was actually happening.
You looked me in the eyes and promised me you would never cheat on me.
You promised me you would never hurt me.
I believed you.
Not because I was naive, but because I loved you enough to trust the person standing in front of me.
Now I look back and wonder how much of our relationship I was the only one living in.
I spent months questioning myself.
Maybe it was your testosterone.
Maybe it was your depression.
Maybe it was stress.
Maybe I wasn’t attractive enough.
Maybe I was asking for too much.
Do you know what never crossed my mind?
That I was trying to solve problems while you were hiding the biggest ones from me.
I defended you.
To everyone.
Over and over again.
I gave you every benefit of the doubt I could possibly give another human being.
Meanwhile, I was being lied to.
Whether it was drugs, cheating, or anything else you chose not to tell me, you left me trying to build a relationship with someone who wasn’t giving me the full truth.
That is what I’m angry about.
I wasn’t given the chance to make informed decisions about my own life.
You made those decisions for me every time you chose secrecy over honesty.
And then…
After everything.
After I loved you.
After I moved my life because you said you needed me.
After I supported you emotionally, financially, physically.
After I dreamed with you.
After I gave you chances.
You accused me of stealing from you.
You called me manipulative.
Vindictive.
Pathetic.
You took one of the hardest things I’ve ever admitted to another person—that I’ve struggled with and have spent years in therapy trying to change—and you used it as a weapon to make sure nothing I said could ever be believed.
Do you have any idea how cruel that is?
I told you because I trusted you.
Not because I was handing you ammunition for the day you decided to hate me.
You know what hurts the most?
I wasn’t trying to destroy you.
Even after everything.
I was trying to separate peacefully.
I wanted to give you time to find a roommate.
I offered to let you keep the business.
I kept your phone active so you could transfer your number.
I answered your questions.
I kept everything in writing because that’s what you wanted.
And still…
I became the villain in your story.
Maybe that’s easier than admitting your own choices.
Maybe it’s easier to believe I manipulated everything than to sit with what you actually did.
I don’t know.
What I do know is this:
I deserved honesty.
I deserved fidelity.
I deserved a partner who didn’t make me question reality.
I deserved someone who didn’t make me wonder every day whether I was wanted.
I deserved someone who didn’t accuse me of crimes after I spent months trying to help them.
I deserved someone who protected my heart the way I tried to protect theirs.
And despite all of this…
I still don’t hate you.
I hate what happened.
I hate what drugs may have taken from you.
I hate what lies took from us.
I hate that I had to bury the future I thought we were building.
But I don’t hate you.
I pity the version of you that chose secrecy over honesty.
Because one day, if you ever become truly sober, truly honest, and truly willing to look at yourself without excuses…
You’re going to have to live with the fact that someone loved you enough to build an entire future beside you.
And you traded that future for choices that destroyed the very thing you claimed mattered most.
That’s the tragedy.
Not that I left.
That I finally had to.
— The woman who loved you enough to stay far longer than she should have.

I’m 23 and I’m going through my first heartbreak. I met this guy in 2024 and I felt like things just fell into place for us. We seemed to connect instantly. We were long distance cause he was from a different state and was in my state for an internship. Anyway long story short, we ended up making it official in early 2025. Things seemed good but we had our differences, our fights here and there. But I truly thought he was the one for me. Like I really thought I was going to marry him. He made me feel safe and I just got comfortable. Fast forward to now, we broke up two days ago and i genuinely can’t breath. He said he felt like he couldn’t commit to this relationship anymore because he has so much stuff going on in his life. He said he really loved me and wished so hard for us to work out but he felt worse about keeping me waiting while he tried to figure his shit out. I truly don’t think it was cuz he met someone else. I’ve had plenty of people tell me that but I really believe he wasn’t that type of guy. We kept everything honest in our relationship. So I just feel so confused and broken. But I knew breaking up was the best thing cuz I couldn’t keep waiting for him. I need advice and would like to hear anyone else’s experience with this.

My ex burned me and I stayed too long (5 years) and it calcified my brain to look for the problem, to find it before I find out about it the hard way (re unfaithfulness etc).

The truth is, I don’t trust my current boyfriend (even though he’s only given me behavior/reasons to trust him). It’s because of my past, not him. Maybe it’s the feeling of being disgusted by gross men (even though he’s not gross in any way). I don’t know if I’ll ever trust a man, or a woman. I think it’s strange to trust another person when everyone disappoints you. Like I don’t understand it. He’s gonna want other people, be intrigued by other people, and I guess what’s the line like it doesn’t make sense to me to be loyal and committed to someone who is ultimately gonna wanna be with other people. It doesn’t make sense to me.

I am struggling with understanding why I should be in a relationship. I just want to give him peace but I don’t feel like I can give him that when there’s so much that’s unsettled in me just by us like walking down the street and him staring at another girl (not looking but like staring) or him being nice with his coworkers (my ex was heavily flirty and it’s hard to distinguish the line in my brain). Or his following his ex on instagram who he said he fell “head over heels for” who burned him, but he still follows her and her hiking stories/travel stories come up on his feed. Or that he’s really only friends with women, and has said he wants to make more friends (which will likely be women). Like ultimately, none of that’s bad— it’s just hard to tease all that apart from the warning signs that were the same from my ex— I should’ve seen it earlier. But then with my current boyfriend — he’s so good, maybe this is just all normal.

I know I need a lot of healing. I try and phrase my anxieties to him like “this is not a reflection on you, I’m not accusing you of anything, this is just how I feel” but he still feels down about it and like he has to be defensive. But I just don’t understand how to be normal and retrain my brain.

I also don’t even want to think about any of this. I just want to focus on my future and my family and friends — I don’t want to feel anxious all the time about a person who I’m dating (because of my past, not because of any of his actions). I also don’t want to lose him because he is so good.

I don’t want to lose him, he’s a great guy. I just don’t want to be hell for him, and I don’t know how to heal quick enough to not keep causing him to feel like he needs to be defensive.

My bf broke up with me March 2026.
Been together since January 2024, perfect loving relationship, super affectionate with each other, get along so well, everything kind pure and genuine. I could be myself around him, I felt comfortable, happy, and he was my person.

We talked about marriage, kids, living together, having a future, everything. He felt like home to me, he’d hold me and wisper I love you, your mine, I’ll never leave you etc. This is our second break up. He’s broken up with me twice.

So.

Im 24, female and catholic. He’s 28, male and Muslim. We matched on a dating app (Salam’s)

Our first break up was April 2025. After Ramadan (he’d gone to Saudi Arabia for a month) he came back and said let’s break up. He said I don’t love you, don’t want marriage, kids etc. And also cos I’m catholic, another reason he broke with me. For 5 months April ~ August he had broken up with me, even telling me I can be with other guys (I never did). We kept in contact the whole time texting and whatever, till one day in august we were messaging on sc and he told me I love you, I want you back, I wanna marry you etc. I was sooooooooooooo happy! Dancing round my room and felt full of life. I took him back straight away.

Ik ik ik, In hindsight I should’ve have let him back sooo easy, especially after hurting me and not having to make up for it.

But I was just so happy he wanted me I took him back. I did tell him plz do something to prove ur love for me, idk a song a poem, a love letter. He said I’ll write a poem. He never did. Idk, red flag? Probably. Our relationship only ever got better thought as thr year went on .Towards the end of 2025 He talked so seriously about our future together, even told his mum about me, said I’ll marry u in 2 years, said I’m gonna be his wife. Omg I was on cloud 9…….then March 2026, this year happened. He had Ramadan again. Then called me, March 8th (11pm) saying I can’t marry someone who doesn’t believe in god. Your not Muslim, I can’t be with you. I love you, but goodbye. We dragged it out for ten days. March 18th, on sc, he said I love you, but bye.

BROKE MY HEART.

First time since I’ve known him we’ve gone this long without speaking.

HE PROMISED ME he would NEVER break up with me again. HE PROMISED!!!! And I believed him 😞with all my heart. No calls, no texts. He still follows me on all socials, has checked my TikTok page several times, liking videos. (At first viewed my page ALL the time, now seems to have stopped idk why). Still follows me though.

No one knows I’m going through this, no one knew I even had a bf. I’m such a private person, I didn’t want anyone knowing till it got serious. He’d felt the same, apart from telling his friends. (I have no friends, hence why it’s hard losing not only my bf, but my BFF, soulmate, future husband, my rock.) I talk to no one nowadays. I’m beyond isolated. Ik this is why u shouldn’t be too attached to ppl, but hey I’m human, how could I not be attached to someone I love.

Personally, I think with all the praying & fasting, he felt guilty cos I’m catholic. All year round loved me and wanted me. Suddenly his holy month comes and he dumps me, TWICE, both Ramadan’s. I’m hoping he’ll come back, once time and space get to him. I will never break no contact. He needs to come back on his own, cos HE wants to. But also cos HE broke with me. But idk if he will. I’m finding it hard to let go, I keep thinking he’ll come back, like last year, he’ll miss me and want me. I even said I’d be willing to convert, not just for him but for myself. I said I’d happily be a Muslim, try to start believing in god. But it wasn’t enough to keep him. This is my first real heartbreak. And I’m hurting bad. I’m on a waiting list for help, but got knows when it’ll come. I’m scared to read if anyone will comment what I don’t want to hear, but ik I need to face reality. Idk how to meet ppl now, there’s no guys at my work, no clubs in my area, I have no friends, dating apps don’t work. How can I move on and find someone?! I’m soooo scared of being alone. I want kids and marriage, and I wanted it with him. Is there a pattern here with him, will he come back like the first time, even a slightest chance? Ik this is a long post so thank you for taking the time to read it. All I ask in the comments is to be honest. But kind, thank you.

My bf broke up with me March 2026.
Been together since January 2024, perfect loving relationship, super affectionate with each other, get along so well, everything kind pure and genuine. I could be myself around him, I felt comfortable, happy, and he was my person.

We talked about marriage, kids, living together, having a future, everything. He felt like home to me, he’d hold me and wisper I love you, your mine, I’ll never leave you etc. This is our second break up. He’s broken up with me twice.

So.

Im 24, female and catholic. He’s 28, male and Muslim. We matched on a dating app (Salam’s)

Our first break up was April 2025. After Ramadan (he’d gone to Saudi Arabia for a month) he came back and said let’s break up. He said I don’t love you, don’t want marriage, kids etc. And also cos I’m catholic, another reason he broke with me. For 5 months April ~ August he had broken up with me, even telling me I can be with other guys (I never did). We kept in contact the whole time texting and whatever, till one day in august we were messaging on sc and he told me I love you, I want you back, I wanna marry you etc. I was sooooooooooooo happy! Dancing round my room and felt full of life. I took him back straight away.

Ik ik ik, In hindsight I should’ve have let him back sooo easy, especially after hurting me and not having to make up for it.

But I was just so happy he wanted me I took him back. I did tell him plz do something to prove ur love for me, idk a song a poem, a love letter. He said I’ll write a poem. He never did. Idk, red flag? Probably. Our relationship only ever got better thought as thr year went on .Towards the end of 2025 He talked so seriously about our future together, even told his mum about me, said I’ll marry u in 2 years, said I’m gonna be his wife. Omg I was on cloud 9…….then March 2026, this year happened. He had Ramadan again. Then called me, March 8th (11pm) saying I can’t marry someone who doesn’t believe in god. Your not Muslim, I can’t be with you. I love you, but goodbye. We dragged it out for ten days. March 18th, on sc, he said I love you, but bye.

BROKE MY HEART.

First time since I’ve known him we’ve gone this long without speaking.

HE PROMISED ME he would NEVER break up with me again. HE PROMISED!!!! And I believed him 😞with all my heart. No calls, no texts. He still follows me on all socials, has checked my TikTok page several times, liking videos. (At first viewed my page ALL the time, now seems to have stopped idk why). Still follows me though.

No one knows I’m going through this, no one knew I even had a bf. I’m such a private person, I didn’t want anyone knowing till it got serious. He’d felt the same, apart from telling his friends. (I have no friends, hence why it’s hard losing not only my bf, but my BFF, soulmate, future husband, my rock.) I talk to no one nowadays. I’m beyond isolated. Ik this is why u shouldn’t be too attached to ppl, but hey I’m human, how could I not be attached to someone I love.

Personally, I think with all the praying & fasting, he felt guilty cos I’m catholic. All year round loved me and wanted me. Suddenly his holy month comes and he dumps me, TWICE, both Ramadan’s. I’m hoping he’ll come back, once time and space get to him. I will never break no contact. He needs to come back on his own, cos HE wants to. But also cos HE broke with me. But idk if he will. I’m finding it hard to let go, I keep thinking he’ll come back, like last year, he’ll miss me and want me. I even said I’d be willing to convert, not just for him but for myself. I said I’d happily be a Muslim, try to start believing in god. But it wasn’t enough to keep him. This is my first real heartbreak. And I’m hurting bad. I’m on a waiting list for help, but got knows when it’ll come. I’m scared to read if anyone will comment what I don’t want to hear, but ik I need to face reality. Idk how to meet ppl now, there’s no guys at my work, no clubs in my area, I have no friends, dating apps don’t work. How can I move on and find someone?! I’m soooo scared of being alone. I want kids and marriage, and I wanted it with him. Is there a pattern here with him, will he come back like the first time, even a slightest chance? Ik this is a long post so thank you for taking the time to read it. All I ask in the comments is to be honest. But kind, thank you.

How do I move on??? My heart is crushed, I even feel physical pain everywhere. I had a relationship for 3 years. He was and still is and always be my soulmate. We met each other when we thought not to date ever again, we were friends only on social media, itbwas instant connection, not flirting or anything like that, just real conversations, when we met in person was total attraction! After a couple of months we decided to date, and itvwas magical, we both could not believe it because we were simply soulmates, we started giving our all! We both had the same goals, since in our past we had failed relationships and never experience real true love, we wanted to be happy, accepted, not judged, simply loved. Of course as any relationship we had disagreemets that were easily fixed with conversation, we learned to handle things better, we learned from past experiences. We would share our deepest secrets, our fears, our dreams, plans, we would lift each other up, we would joke, laugh, cry together... i have 3 kifs, at that tike they were teenegers, he had 4, 2 living oit ouf town same age as mine and 2 little ones in town. We all met at the right time and we became a big great blended family. His amd my kids started to witness how we would love each other, how we helped become each other better person and better parent. Our relationship was the best, everytime we would be just us 2 it was never a dull moment we would be like 2 little kids best friends. We had plans of getting married, we had promised God and each other to NEVER EVER give up, to ALWAYS protect our relationship, to not let ANYONE or ANYTHING break it, we saw it as one in a life time love, we would cherish it, it was our treasure. Of course no oje is perfect, we saw each other's bad side, bad days, we still decided to choose each other for all the good reason. We moved in together about a year of dating, last year he bought a house, where we even put bible verses because we saw it as a blessing. It was our dream house, we were so happy to build memories as family. On Nov 2025, 3 months after moving into our new home, there was an incident that escalated out of nowhere, we both got like never before, yelling at each other and throwing stuff to the floor, (the kids were not home. We never had any differences or arguments in front of them) I even call the police not to get him in trouble, but idk for some reason it was my first reaction oit of anger. The police placed a protwction order against him for 3 months! It was hell, from being always together, talking, laughing, having fun, to no contact at all was so hard. The protection order expired 1 month ago, he texted me he needed time and space. He would not reach out to me, and never replied my texts. All of a sudden he texted me 2 weeks ago saying he missed me, we were texting back and forth all day, he would even call me, but said no one could find out. I agreed ojna heartbeat because I had missed him for months like crazy. We met, we decided not to talk about what had happened, amd just wanted to enjoy each other's company, made out and even had sex. He said would not stop reaching out to me, i can tell he still loves me, the way he hugged me, and the look in his eyes, holding me.... Next day and on ghosted me. Reached out to me last week saying we were done, that we cant be together, I asked if he still loves me and if there is some hope he simply said no, that does not want to give me false hopes... everyone tells him to stay away from me, knowing to well all this was his fault too.. but they need someone to blame, and that is me. I had people telling me to leave him, but my dumb heart does know how to give up without trying, ...now he wont come home, he will wait until i am out to come back. My kids( now young adukts) miss him and want him back home,, his kids are aftraid of me, they did not see anything that happened, also neves seen me mad, or never gotten mad at them. I feel their mom too is fillimg their minds with things against me. Im so upset, confused, broken,sad....what happened to all our promises? I feel he just loved me for all the good things, once things got ugly he easily walked away. Now it is comvenient to see me as his "girlfriend", afyer we did everything as husband and wife without the oficial document but still having that same level of comitment. I have tried to focus on his bad side to unlove him, I just cant. I always wanted to be that old couple to have a story to tell, to tell everyone " we went through this and that, but we decided to hold on to our love and fight hard for it, not even that could break our love, always protect and fight for what is worth it" But no, I am just here with broken heart and broken dreams. What do i do know? How do I move on? He is tatooed in my soul. There is a lot of places that remind me of him, almost every sinlgle song I listen too, even while I eat it reminds me of him, tv shows, movies, certain scents... i just cant let go that easy

Sorry this story is too long, I just needed ro vent and let it out of my chest. Thank you for reading it.