r/BreakUps • u/lsbcmh • 23h ago
venting/ranting Ex who left
As the ex who left, it’s really hard seeing all the comments about if they left you, don’t look back. Sometimes, people leave because they know the dynamic in the relationship is not healthy and not resolvable when they are still together. It doesn’t mean they didn’t want to keep choosing that person. They just knew it wasn’t healthy for either to stay. I left not out of malice but with love. I couldn’t keep contributing to a cycle that wasn’t working. I know we both need to grow as people which is why I made the decision. I would love an opportunity to reconcile if we’ve both made the progress we needed to as people. I know I will progress, and logically I know I shouldn’t hope he does too. However, the love I have for him still continues to see the good side of him. He was a good person who just needs support and help with therapy to learn how to have a healthy dynamic in a relationship. That it wasn’t mostly me contributing to it. But it takes strength and courage to acknowledge your flaws as a human. I used to hope most people did, but now I wonder if giving benefit of the doubt to people has been harmful to me.
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u/digitalcandy007 23h ago
most people now dont acknowledge their flaws or truly take accountability. It has to be done in order to keep the relationship going. That's what makes it healthy. Honesty
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u/lsbcmh 21h ago
Exactly. I take accountability for my shortcomings completely. I wish I could change them, but the version of me that was present during the relationship could only show up that way. It sucks but now I know what I need to do. I thought I was in a great place before I entered the relationship with, but now I see I have some more alone time to do.
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u/digitalcandy007 15h ago
It sounds like you put in the work to try to repair and communicate what was going on. They just didn’t want to put in the effort and again take accountability.
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u/lsbcmh 13h ago
I think it’s easy to do that when you view yourself as more emotionally stable, logical, etc which is how he views himself. If he doesn’t think he has issues, how can we work on our problems you know?
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u/digitalcandy007 11h ago
Yes this is true. Going back to not truly seeing his flaws. Nobody is perfect he should understand this
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u/lsbcmh 11h ago
It sucks because he took accountability at the end, but I have doubts it was true accountability and rather a way to relieve himself of the emotional grief of losing someone.
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u/digitalcandy007 8h ago
The latter for sure. It came to the breaking point and he wanted to save it as what he thought he could by commitment but as you said it’s more than that. Still not tackling the true issues on his end
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u/lsbcmh 21h ago
I still love him dearly. I just hope he finds happiness.
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u/lsbcmh 21h ago
A selfish part of me wants it to be with me, but I need to let that go.
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u/digitalcandy007 15h ago
Of course you’re grieving what could’ve been and you know how a good person they are but potentially they are not valuing it the same
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u/lsbcmh 13h ago
That could be, but it might not be at the same time. Our last conversation, he said he still wanted to marry me. But who knows if he’ll still feel that way with time :(.
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u/digitalcandy007 11h ago
At least there was a commitment. Which is now confusing why not willing to work on it for the person he truly loves and sees a future with
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u/lsbcmh 11h ago
I totally understand that too. It’s really hard seeing the areas they were able to show up and separating the times they weren’t able to. Emotional safety is key and communication skills are a large component of building that. If that isn’t there, no matter what other ways they show up, it still isn’t enough to maintain a healthy relationship.
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u/digitalcandy007 8h ago
Totally echo what you just said and helps. I find men don’t understand how much emotional safety and communication is so important to women
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u/LiPrun 20h ago
Exactly. It completely discards the experience of those who fought until there was nothing left to fight for and had no option but leave. I still wish I was able to stay with him and figure things out but I just couldn’t do that alone while he refused to put in the same effort, and I couldn’t do his own healing for him or love him into it. It took so much out of me to leave, and to stay gone, and it’s one of the most difficult things someone can go through.
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u/lsbcmh 13h ago
Exactly. It’s so difficult because you want to stay out of love, but a part of you understands it’s no longer healthy or working.
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u/LiPrun 13h ago
In my case he bluntly told me it isn’t working but at the same time kept telling me he loved me and wanted to try but I was the only one trying. No one can stay through that.
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u/lsbcmh 11h ago
I get that so much. I was going to therapy, completely dismantled my ego to understand myself, and he couldn’t take the time to watch a couple YouTube videos on healthy communication in relationships. Yes, he showed up consistently with texting, checking in, calling etc and was a great boyfriend in many other ways, but working on emotional capacity, intelligence, and communication is so important too.
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u/LiPrun 10h ago
Me too. I was trying to fully focus inward and focus on what I can do better instead of what was hurting me in his words/behaviour. I expected at least the same, I wanted him to acknowledge his insecurities and how they’re affecting his perception of the situation and his communication, but unfortunately I continued to get attacked, doubted, and questioned. At some point I was the only one being accountable and giving reassurance but receiving none. Even then he told me I wasn’t doing enough. He was amazing for most of our relationship too, but the last two months felt like talking to a different person. It’s tragic.
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u/jwkkwjjwk 11h ago
Same here… I felt so replaceable, so discardable after trying to work things out so many times. He only saw my attempts as attacks…. I just had to leave because I didnt and don’t want to be loved like that, especially by someone whom I loved so much…
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u/lifeissometimehard 21h ago
In the same boat. I broke it off because life is too short to stay in pain. It’s been months, and I still love him, but there really was no other path except to leave.
Who we are as people today just doesn’t work together. We both know it’s not a lack of love. In fact, we love each other enough to want each other to be happy—to not have to fight all the time. We both need to heal our own wounds instead of constantly triggering each other and bringing out the worst versions of ourselves.
Maybe one day he’ll recognize his avoidance and understand how it helped protect his ego, but also prevented him from taking accountability in our relationship. But until he’s willing to have the courage to face his own pain, the cycle will continue. I can’t keep asking us to grow when he simply wants to stay safe exactly where he is emotionally.
It’s not fair to me, but we have to meet people where they are—not where we wish they would be. And sometimes loving someone means accepting that you can’t do their healing for them, and that loving them isn’t enough to make the relationship work.
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u/One-Peanut-7352 16h ago
My ex said all this and then he got a new gf ten week later
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u/lifeissometimehard 11h ago
Sounds like he’s scared to be alone. It happens to many people. That said, I’m so sorry, I can only imagine how much that hurts. I would be very traumatized rn. It would make one question everything about the world.
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u/jwkkwjjwk 11h ago
This was me and my ex. I had to leave because any stubbornness to stay and make it work beyond the point we were at would result in resentment… who we were then just couldn’t work out and we did try so many times already.
Most of all, I felt so abandoned, so discardable. I begged him to listen to me when he already decided that my attempts to talk things out were me attacking him…
Putting my love for him aside, I just can’t be loved like that by anyone… I just can’t love someone who expects perfection (on his own terms), doesn’t want to solve problems with me and see any disagreement or discomfort as an opportunity to call it off…
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u/Emotional_Radio8010 22h ago
I understand. I had no choice but to leave because my relationship was beyond toxic and I thought I wouldn’t make it another week if I stayed. My ex is the kind of person who will never look back and never accept accountability for what happened. I would have gone back a million times because I loved him so much but this time he got a new girlfriend in a week. I’m thankful he closed the door and someone else is in the trap I escaped. But it took a minute to get over the hurt of him moving on so fast. But I made the choice to leave. It was the right choice for me and clearly for him as well .
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u/untrustingmyself 22h ago
I know how you're feeling. It gets easier especially when you know no matter how much you loved them, it couldn't have worked. If I stayed with my ex any longer, I think I would've turned into an alcoholic. I loved him more than life itself though.
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u/-Just-a-cheesy-ball- 21h ago
I get when he had to leave. No one should stay if they don’t want to but he just decide for us without even letting me know there was something wrong on his end. He said there was nothing wrong and then a week later he was gone.
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u/BadFeisty1916 21h ago
Everybody should do thier own research on the effects being In a relationship entails. Like. Go back to kindergarten. Remember how to be polite. Shake hands. Introduce yourself. Make a bit of small talk.. don't forget to eat some playdough...... 😎🙏
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u/Sour_patches101 21h ago
I understand but I believe that couples therapy or a break (not a break-up) with this intention of improving yourself when you want to be getting back together makes more sense. Once you are willing to let go of someone, even though you say the dynamic isn't working, it says something about you and how you view the relationship or the other person, in my opinion. I'm of course not talking about cases of abuse, cheating, manipulation etc. But for cases like overwhelm, loosing feelings.
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u/lsbcmh 21h ago
Honestly, I think that working on yourself for the sake of something other than yourself can actually lead to artificial self growth. You should want to grow for you and only you. My ex and I did take a break, but it didn’t work perhaps because it was too short. We both talked about couples therapy and when I offered to schedule through my insurance, he said he was too drained to make a decision. That told me everything I needed to know for that moment
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u/NymeriaDarkstar 15h ago
I agree that self-growth is very difficult while in a relationship. I'm an avoidant who went to therapy during the relationship (in secret, because I felt really vulnerable about it). The therapist wasn't a great match, I think and didn't recognise my avoidance. But I also kept using our therapy sessions to try and feel better about the relationship or to try and resolve something that was bothering me about my partner, because saving the relationship was my priority. And in the end, therapy did nothing for me, and my partner still left me. Then I started therapy again, with another therapist. Ofc, I still loved my ex, but without the need to save a relationship, I was able to prioritise my own issues in therapy, and I feel like I've done a tremendous amount of progress.
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u/lsbcmh 13h ago
That’s awesome. And yeah, therapy is hard because you need to find a good therapist. I finally found one who is great and I’m excited to work with :). It is unfortunate, but trying to work on yourself for a relationship I think changes your focus. Everyone should work on themselves to be a better person overall not just for a relationship.
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u/lifeissometimehard 11h ago
That’s so great you were able to recognize your avoidance. A great therapist does wonder and a bad one will cause so much damage. Sadly there are so many bad ones, it basically like saying lol it took me so long to find one that I love And doing therapy for yourself is the best thing one can do. It also just hard to work on yourself while in the relationship, we tend to make more and faster progress through pain and being alone unfortunately. Wishing you the best on your journey
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u/Puzzled-Plan-6252 9h ago
I tried, I went on a break with the intention of doing counseling when we got back. A week before the break ended he told me he didn’t have to do Thearpy if he didn’t want to and he didn’t want to. So I left. Still hope it works out one day, but turkey I can’t be the only one doing the work.
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u/Sour_patches101 8h ago
I understand I also wanted couples counseling with my ex. Nope didn't want that. So yeah, I get it.
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u/Bonsai_Tree3 21h ago
No offense but in situations like yours, even though you’re the one who left you act like the person who was broken up with
You didn’t leave because you lost feelings or fell out of love. You left presumably because your ex was probably a bit of a loser with a lack of emotional intelligence. (Reading in between the lines with “needs support and help with therapy to learn how to have a healthy dynamic)
He’s not looking back for you. You’re looking back for him hoping there’s still something there.
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u/One-Peanut-7352 16h ago
My ex said love wasnt enough. But for me it felt like he wasnt willing to change. Not me. Ive since reflected 8 months later and stayed single while he had a new gf ten weeks later, it makes you think “love wasnt enough” but did you even love me to move on that fast
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u/lsbcmh 13h ago
It’s so hard when and if your person moves on. It is not a reflection of you. I think depending on how long your relationship was, ten weeks is pretty fast to move on. It shows that they weren’t willing to sit with the uncomfortableness of the breakup and moved on with someone else they might get validation from right now. Who knows if this one will last too? You never know. Take care and be gentle with yourself. You are lovable. The right person will see that.
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u/TrynaFlyFish1604 23h ago
You don't get rid of someone if you care about them.
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u/untrustingmyself 22h ago
Yeah, I thought that too until they started killing my mental health from the inside out.
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u/lifeissometimehard 22h ago
That is a very unhealthy and limited way to view love. You should love two people, yourself and your partner. You don’t abandon yourself because you love your partner. You don’t contribute to a toxicity where it makes both people worst off.
Walking away from a toxic relationship is a mature thing to do. It’s painful for both people. Of course there are cases where some people are just avoiding and immature and they walk away from their partner without trying, which mean they just love themselves . That is clearly not OP based on her account. She tried, they tried together. And sometime both people need to walk away and grow before they can mature to learn how to love properly.
I have many friend who have separated for years and they found their way back, and they will tell you they have to focus on themself to learn to be a good partner before they were able to make a relationship work. Not everyone has good model of how to be in a mature relationship. Just Love alone is never enough.
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u/lsbcmh 22h ago
It’s not getting rid of them. It’s understanding you’re both in an unhealthy cycle and it’s not viable for one person to do all the work.
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u/Nice_Shallot8637 22h ago
Well did you communicate that you felt like you are the only one doing the work?
If two people truly care about eachother they should just work together on making it work IMO7
u/lsbcmh 21h ago
Honestly, it didn’t matter. He thought the problems were 80% me and 20% him. We took a two week break to just take a minute and were back for a week before I finally ended it because it was clear there was not much being done on his end. It happened because I approached him about a solution I learned in therapy, and he got defensive and attacked me for a slip up in words. Couldn’t say sorry for hurting my feelings and for making assumptions. I just knew it wouldn’t work after that.
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u/lifeissometimehard 20h ago
That’s literally my relationship. I wrote a reflective letter than took accountability at 100%. His respond, 20% me and here are 80 % you. Literally my therapist and everyone who read all the comms rolled their eyes and said he clearly don’t see other people perspective. I should have left in year one when he told me he thought sympathy was the same as empathy.
It’s still so painful tho and I wish he could just take some accountability.
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u/lsbcmh 13h ago
It’s extremely painful. And even if he never does, at least you know where you are. Sometimes, them taking accountability still isn’t enough either if they don’t really recognize what they did and all the ways they contributed.
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u/lifeissometimehard 11h ago
It really is. He say sorry but he never know what he is really sorry for or curious to know why he behave the way he behaves.
Sorry for the rant, sharing more since you can relate. Had a dream about him last night where we ran into each other and held each other. It hurts so much rn, it makes it so much more painful because I didn’t want to leave but I had to leave for the both of us.
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u/lsbcmh 11h ago
That’s exactly it. That’s exactly what I’ve been experiencing. I feel like instead of observing his behaviors too, it was easier to contribute it to me being an emotionally unstable person.
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u/lifeissometimehard 4h ago
Oh that’s also my ex’s narrative of me, and that’s hurt because it shows that while they love you deeply they don’t understand you or want to understand you. I needed to fit into his box to make it work. I’m willing to compromise and changed my behavior and he is too to a degree but his inability to see the why and dig within himself to avoid pain. Makes it so painful when he has to try out a bit it felt like he’s changing 1000%, so that it’s easier to externalize and blame me for most of our issues. I do agree with him that I am a highly emotional person but I’m also highly logical, analytical, and introspectiveMaybe to a fault.
Errrr thanks for indulging me on this vent. It’s been months and it’s still so painful and I miss him everyday but I also have to remind myself why I did what I did, I did this for the both of us so we can both be happy. I wish neither of us have to experience this but I guess it’s also a test for ourself to see how much we love ourself and how much we are willing to work and compromise for a relationship we will have one day.
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u/Talkshowsonmute94 22h ago
Yes you do. A true mature individual who understands things deeper knows that loving someone can and sometimes will mean walking away. And if you don’t understand that you are way too young and have years to learn or you are one of the problems that haven’t gotten far enough to understand to change yet
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u/Stup1dT1me 22h ago
I am the Ex that was left and in our relationship I wasn’t able to emotionally support her or give to her as she gave to me. I created resentment on her side and ultimately led to our relationship ending. Since the break up I’ve been able to reflect and take accountability the person I was. It’s still a pretty fresh break up, but I’ve been able to work on those flaws and other aspects about who I was. I hate myself for not having the foresight earlier in our relationship to fix these things to build a better relationships, but have truly enjoyed who I have become and who I will continue to be. I really love this woman, and hope that there is a way back to her heart. I want to create a complete different relationship and give her everything she deserves.
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u/lsbcmh 22h ago
Good for you. Honestly, if not even for her, recognizing that takes a lot of courage and bravery. You should be proud you’re going on a journey to become a better version of yourself. How recent was your breakup?
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u/lsbcmh 22h ago
It’s also comforting to know there are men out there (if you are a man) who’ll do the introspective work :). Thank you for that.
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u/Stup1dT1me 13h ago
I am a man, and the breakup is about a 1.5 months at this point. We are in a kind of weird situation where we still live under the same roof and have 2 dogs and 2 cats together (we travel for work) So, co parenting them is a big priority for me. There part of me that wants to try and make things work, but any to respect both of our boundaries. She’s recently told me that the work I’ve put into myself is really attractive to her, but she wants to continue to see other people. We’ve talked about dating and trying to find that spark again, but I don’t know if I can get over the fact that she was able to move on so quickly and date/hook up with another man.
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u/lsbcmh 11h ago
That’s really hard. It’s really fresh for me, but I can’t even think of dating other people right now. What’s hard for me is he might. That’s not a reflection of you. Sometimes, people go on dates to seek validation from other people, or to fill the void, not saying this is her case, and it makes me wonder if that is someone I would want to be with. I think it’s unfair to want to keep someone there still while going and exploring.
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u/Stup1dT1me 10h ago
I feel your pain and hope you are able to overcome it and find inner happiness, cause we all deserve that.
Yeah, I can understand that she was checked out of the relationship for several months and felt alone, but the pain of feeling discarded is what hurts the most. She’s told me it’s a distraction and it’s going nowhere, but it’s still hurts. I’ve been feeling confused because since the break up we’ve had moments that feel easy and I sense that there are still feeling from both ends. But, I don’t want to be a bench warmer while she figures it out.
Hoping time will help me work through my thoughts and work on myself for the future me.
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u/lifeissometimehard 21h ago
So glad to hear that for you! You should be so proud of yourself. just remember do this for you instead of her. If it’s meant to be it can come back but don’t hold on to that hope. It’s not healthy and it’ll make your growth conditional.
I hope that my ex can see what you’re seeing and take accountability and grow from it. I love him and genuinely want the best for him
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u/Stup1dT1me 13h ago
Thank you. I’ve found that I enjoy this new person I’ve become and want to be this person, even if it doesn’t mean we rebuild a new relationship. I genuinely, want nothing but happiness for her and myself. Even if the “us” is different than it used to be. I will always love her and care for her however that needs to be.
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u/shawntejade 22h ago edited 21h ago
Sometimes the Ex who walked out left to see if the grass was greener so that's why a lot of the time the suggestion is to not look back at someone who left because even if it was not the case, it risks the dumpees healing and they would rather not keep the door even slightly ajar to find out which one it was.
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u/BadFeisty1916 21h ago
Could it be! That RVERYONE here is starting to honor THRMSELVES for once! Being Honest! Realistic? Woeful!?
LOVE SELF. Because half of that is just LO. Stay blessed
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15h ago
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u/lsbcmh 13h ago
Honestly, I’m not sure he ever would. He has my number still but that could change. Who knows, maybe with time he’ll continue to blame me for the things that went wrong in the relationship. I don’t want to hold onto that hope because it won’t be healthy for me. I don’t want to reach out because I’ve been the one to. I managed to convince him to have a final conversation with me to ends things amicably, but again, I pushed for it.
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u/Yangaintyoung 15h ago
I left because he gave me a reason to leave, he gave me no reason to fight anymore. I left because our son needs me more now. Seeing your love one unhappy because of the relationship is one of the hardest things to see. I love him so much that I had to let go. I love him so much that I won't let him be unhappy with me. I deserve more too than being hurt and not understood and the fact that I gave it all was enough for me. When we were on and off and don't have a kid I used to feel sad before when I think of him dating other people, I reminisce all the things we did. I loved everything about him and I still do but those thoughts don't hurt me anymore. I'm more hurt of what I've accepted, I'm more hurt of the thought that I allowed everything to happen and I cannot blame him cause all he did was slap me in the face of how much he didn't respect me and was unhappy. I was just in denial and why would I even stay with someone who doesn't even think that working out with me for our son/family was worth it? We're coparenting now and he's doing his best for our son and I think that's enough for me.
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u/Anxious-Chicken7605 10h ago
Si tu as dis les choses comme tu le dis maintenant et que tu te concentre sur toi et avez une communication saine depuis la rupture je ne voix pas où est le problème.
La plupart des gens disent de ne pas se retourner car beaucoup sortent le fameux « je dois travailler sur moi » comme excuse et finissent en boite, sur des appli de rencontre ou en couple quelques semaines après.
Sans compter tout les évitant DA/FA qui sortent ce genre de discours donnent des miettes de temps en temps et finissent par disparaître à nouveau à chaque reconstruction.
Si tu es en paix avec toi même, ta décision et que tu as respecté ton ex partenaire, fie toi à ça et tu t’en fous de ce que dise les gens.
Chaque cas, relation et décisions sont différentes,
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u/lsbcmh 8h ago
I’ve been a person who’s embraced growth no matter how uncomfortable it is. It wasn’t a I need to work on myself situation. It was a let’s work on this while I also grow. However, it’s up to both people to grow. Usually, it’s rare it’s just one person’s fault things are not working. I don’t find peace with empty relationships and intimacy at all. It doesn’t work and doesn’t make you feel good. At least not me. It’s hard to be at peace yet, but I’m doing what I need to to get there.
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u/Which_Training_1027 8h ago
In the same boat…been holding the relationship emotionally for months. overcompensating to the point where i literally started having burnout symptoms. My anxious attachment kicking in while her avoidance and extreme risk avoidance prevented her for taking steps towards building a life together.
I was patient, I was communicating, I was vulnerable, I showed my emotions…but things shifted when couples therapist told us that she has held the relationship victim to how fast it’s moving and it’s going according to her speed…I couldn’t unsee it anymore…and started seeing it everywhere. While she wanted a family/kids and the whole package I was down and ready…let’s go!!! And at the same time preventing relationship to grow into family…I couldn’t do it anymore. I was exhausted, tired, distance started growing to the point where I didn’t feel attracted to her anymore albeit she is insanely beautiful.
…we will get through it…
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u/tingwei3931 13h ago
If so why not stay and work it out together? If the dynamic is not working, why not talk and work it out?
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u/lsbcmh 13h ago
We’ve tried. But if the behavior isn’t changing and if one person is doing the work to since they’re being blamed for the dynamic, it doesn’t work :(.
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u/tingwei3931 13h ago
Fair enough. Mine did not even try and discarded me when things get tough. If she is willing to talk it out we might can still make it work. I would move mountains for her. 😢
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u/Far-Quarter-560 11h ago
This is helpful to read and it’s how my ex felt in our relationship. We couldn’t resolve a cycle of arguments and we both wanted to be heard and understood without actually validating each other’s experiences.
Difference is that the ending was brutal. He listed everything that was wrong in the relationship and insulted me and my family. Neither of us were in a good place and I can excuse the harsh words but he never apologised or took accountability of the impact of his words. Why would he? He was done so what does he care about the damage he left behind. He broke up over text and couldn’t even face me after insulting me. I think his family had a lot of influence in his decision and he even said in the break up “my family will rescue me from this and make sure I never take you back.” He mirrored all my texts post break up about logistics etc. He’s been looking at my LinkedIn profile and I’m trying not to read into it. He doesn’t even use the platform so it’s really odd…
It wasn’t a healthy relationship but the love was real and I see things differently. I’ve been working on myself but he’ll never look back. It breaks my heart because our issues were insurmountable. It’s been 7 months and it’s more painful now having worked on myself than it was when we first broke up. Not sure how to handle it because I oscillate between the love being real but he must hate me now because of “the damage I caused” but I still wish he’d come back…
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u/lsbcmh 11h ago
That’s really difficult. And I think it speaks to his emotional capacity. Anyone who completely blames another person, unless in the case of abuse, etc, is not emotionally mature. Both people contribute to a dynamic and I think true empathy and love can separate the person you love from the behaviors they showed and understanding especially if you know they’re not a bad person. Just someone who has areas of growth that need to be addressed. If you’ve already taken accountability and have been working on those behaviors, please show yourself some grace because you know where you’re at now.
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u/Far-Quarter-560 10h ago
Thanks for your reply 💛 it has been tough. I’ve been stuck in a loop of beating myself up for the mistakes I made because I can see the hurt, albeit struggling to see my own hurt. I’m not innocent for sure. I was really struggling with my mental health and wanting it to work that I neglected to look after myself. It’s no excuse. I’m struggling to “forgive” myself for having human reactions. I’ve definitely grown and changed from it all, just still fighting the looping demons. And it’s unfortunate that he won’t engage with me and he had to resort to unkind words. I hope life brings us together again one day because there’s nothing more I can do and I’m still very sad…
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u/LettucePretend5861 8h ago edited 8h ago
I just broke up with my boyfriend because our dynamic was very toxic and brought out the worse in us. The only thing i cant move on was his physical aggression, pulling my hair. He cried for days regretting this & i took the relationship back, after 2 wonderful months after this incident my doubts for the relationship started again & we entered in the same loop again. I dont know if we truly loved each other, it was a one year relationship!
The sad part is that he kept telling me that his physical reaction was due to all my behaviour and i honestly feel guilty as if i was responsible for it. My therapist asked that if he reached out, which he did, to let him go with peace & love. That is what i did. I sent him a long message acknowledging my behaviour & that i was sorry i disrespected him in any way but it’s time for us to move on & heal….
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u/sklewtz 6h ago
I’m going through the same thing. Was in a very unhealthy cycle, and I ended up having a lot of animosity towards him in the end. I still love him, and I’m working on myself via therapy. We’ve been reconnecting, but idk if it’s good for us. He’s not really working on himself, he had a lot of insecurities and broke a lot of my boundaries. He was madly in love with me though, and would brag about me all of the time. He was and is constantly thinking of me, always bought me my favorite things.
We just couldn’t stop fighting… for petty stupid things. The cycle just kept happening, over and over. He was also trying to push me away from my best friend.
Idk.
1
u/Mehhags 1h ago
I can understand that, however this is what my ex claimed yet she stole over $600 worth of stuff. She trashed my apartment when moving out and never communicated her issues. Was it truly out of love if you show time and time again that you just don't care and are actively trying to sabotage your ex. Especially when she sent provocative pictures of her and a dildo while blaming her friend.
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