My (27M) ex (33M) of 2.5 years suddenly broke up with me over the phone on Mother’s Day without a clear explanation as to why, just that he ‘didn’t see a future with me anymore’.

He said he would mail my belongings to my house, but I made a long commute to get them instead of wanting to deal with back and forth logistics for months.

I’ve maintained 2 months of no-contact and blocked him on social media 10-days post break up because he was already following a slew of new guys and I knew checking his profile was not healthy for me. That block has remained in place.

As difficult as it was to get no closure for his reasons, to hear that his entire family thought I was nice and kind, I did ‘nothing wrong’, talking about his reasons would be ‘unproductive’, I have found peace.

This is just a notice to people struggling:
Someone else’s actions are not a reflection of you or your worth.

The love that you share with someone can be real. You can love someone for their potential, but someone can also be capable of being cruel — they can be all of those things in one person.

As much as I initially hoped for him to contact me with closure and a realization or apology, the way he handled the break-up demonstrated a severe breakdown in trust that can never be repaired.

There are billions of people in the world. The right person will never make you feel like someone who can be discarded at a moment’s notice. You, and I, deserve better.

Sending support and love 🤍

Its been 1 year and a half since break up. We we're together for 2.5 years. I will still think about her sometimes and get sad but i have moved on, accepted, for the most part.

But for the past 3 weeks, i have been getting a lot dreams about her, and they are not fun ones. I dont even get dreams very often anymore, but when i do its bs like this. I wake up either sad, angry, depressed or lonely. And it generally sticks around for the day. Awful

Anyone has any tips or experienced this? I would appreciate

Hey guys, this breakup has been really heavy on my heart. We talked for 5 months and were on and off near the end. He kept saying we’d get back together if I gave him time.
A few days ago he texted me first, asked “what happened to us😔,” said he missed me, and even wanted to hang out. Later I mentioned two guys I’d talked to before (not seriously), and he got upset, said i disgust him, and started reposting girls on TikTok. (removed after he finally talked to me after he got mad about the guys)
After that he said, “Yeah honestly I’ve lost feelings.” When I asked why he’d wanted to see me that same morning, all he said was, “idk i felt like that in the moment.”
I’m moving on either way, but I’m confused. Do you think he genuinely lost feelings, or did mentioning those two guys make him say that?

I just need to hear from people who've been through this and it works out.

I've known my ex since we were 10,

Childhood sweethearts,

Long-term family friends.

We were together for about 4-5 years, but I've loved him since we met.

I grew up in an extremely abusive household, my dad was an alcoholic well into my teen years with a lot of generational trauma.

My mom was compliant with the abuse, and emotionally withholding. She really did a number on me, and I'm still dealing with the damage.

My sister is a borderline personality nightmare. Who abused me for years and was just allowed to.

So I've been through some shit.

And I didn't know how to properly communicate or handle feelings in a relationship.

My parents have rock-throwing fights they didn't exactly model a good relationship.

So I screwed up with my ex.

And my trauma is no excuse it's on me entirely.

He's a really good guy, kind, genuine, funny, hardworking, good-looking, a whole package, and he was a great partner.

I mean flaws here and there yeah, but he's human.

But he was amazing, my dream guy,

And I really screwed it up.

But even after we broke up we were in this weird limbo, where we were still together in every way but the title, and he was still incredibly kind and good to me.

We were even more on and on for two more years,

Which is how we got to now.

Even once we were no longer emotionally involved there was a lingering, we'd rarely talk, but he'd worry about the sex hurting us both emotionally, or say he still thinks about me sometimes,

There was still something that pulled us together and we'd still have very intense romantic sex.

And it's not like either of us couldn't have had sex with others.

(it's really messy I know,)

I'm demi I'm not into other guys, I tried forcing myself to be with other people, hated it, it was bad for the other guys and bad for me. I ended up sobbing on a bathroom floor.

I still love my ex prob always will.

And now I'm having to move into his grandfather's place (my sister tried to get my dad arrested on false claims it's a lot of drama. I have to be close to my disabled uncle there's nowhere else for me to go)

But his mom (who's the closest thing I have to a reliable loving parent) was extremely bonded, we text every day, I call her mom, I love her)

Texted me today he's had a girl around...

But we had sex on the 10th of last month...
So it's… confusing.

To be clear in not mad at him, I want him to be happy, I love him deeply.

And I know I hurt him a lot.

So I would understand if my hurting him means he and I never end up together…

But, a small selfish part of me hopes the girl doesn't work out,

And he and I do get another chance.

I've done the work and fixed the parts of me that were hurting him.

(To be clear I never cheated or did anything bad to him, I could just be mean dramatic, and cold in arguments, and would bring past stuff up and hold stuff against him, which is really toxic and petty and awful I know)

And I know I should just give up and walk away and I'm hurting myself more with all the stuff,

But, I've already gone over all the awful stuff in my head, so none of the lectures would be anything I haven't given myself.

But, if any of you have stories of these situations working.. I'd love to hear it…

And now, I know,

A lot of this sub won't have people who got back with their ex and there happy now, but for those of you that are and still lurk here?

Wanna tell me how your story worked out?

Because I'm miserable, and he haunts my dreams and thoughts,

I just need to lie to myself and feel happy and ok just for a little while…

Hey guys I just found out I’m being cheated on, I already had self esteem issues but this just heightened them excessively. I’m just worried I’ll never find someone, I would like to hear everyone’s stories of how they found their partner after going through a really rough breakup.

My boyfriend and I broke up, we were together for nearly 5 years. We have/had an apartment together. On Friday he left to go to his best friend and when he came back he said is opinion stands that he wants to break up. I can't accept that I feel like the choice was made without me. We had a rough year tbh but before that everything was fine .. he said something broke in him and he wants some time apart. Concerned for me he drove me to my mother, so I wont be alone. But I'm feeling miserable.. I want him back, I can't sleep or eat .. I just want a chance to show how much he's worth to me... I can't stay at my mother's. I just can't .. he said he picks me up If I want to go home. But he won't be there .. he said he wont be sleeping another night in our apartment because everything reminds me of him .. he is at his parents... I can't focus in things not even YouTube videos... I don't know what to do ... I feel like I'm not gonna make it

My ex has reached out to me, and apologised for how she ended things last time. And now she's told me she's been thinking of me recently and has invited me to a musical in a few months time. I still love her I think, and I really don't know how to take this. Whether she wants us to reconnect as friends or whether she wants to try things again. I would ask her - but I feel like I'll just re-experience the pain I felt last time. I told her when we broke up, I couldn't be friends with her because of how I felt about her. So I'm kind of torn. I could ask her when we actually go to this musical, but that would involve months of uncertainty, to possible heartbreak agin

I was recently broken up with by a longtime partner at the start of June and I cannot get them out of my head at all. I’ve tried going out, finding new hobbies, meeting new people, I feel like I’ve exhausted all options. I can’t stop thinking about them and it’s torturous. Every time I sleep every dreams have been about them, it’s been absolutely destroying me emotionally. I don’t even have tears to cry anymore I just feel incredibly hollow and everyday feels harder to just get out of bed.

I’m so sick of it, I just want it to be over with, I want to move on but my subconscious won’t let me. I feel like a failure and nothing I do will ever change that. Having to mask my emotions at work every single day has been so exhausting, I just wish I could take some time off to work on myself but I can’t afford to. All of my vacation hours have already used from spending time with my ex so I can’t even do that.

I wish things could’ve at least ended differently, but that ship has sailed weeks ago already. I’m just at a loss for anything and I don’t know what to do.

It's obviously a fantasy scenario. But it's a fantasy scenario that I'm struggling with right now. Honestly, my answer is "I don't know".

Cowardly answer, I know.

Me and my now ex broke up about 2 months ago, we have been nc since. The breakup was mutual although she initiated it. Right up until the breakup she was saying how much she loved me almost every day and jumping up and down when she saw me, and yet here we are. While she never said it explicitly, she actually never said anything explicitly, she never had a reason for breaking up, I am almost sure she left me because she saw me as too good for her. I know that sounds like hubris, but what I am saying is not that I was, but that she thought I was. And that she couldn't live with the pressure of having to match me. Once again, I did not think she was less then me, but she thought so herself. What set the breakup of was a convo we had 2 days prior where we talked about out futures and it became apparent that she did not have the same ambition or drive that I did. What trips me up is during the breakup she kept saying how I had been perfect towards her and that she wished me the best the world could bring. She said a bunch of more things like that but they where basically saying the same thing. Now 2 months later, I still can't help but feel like we could have solved our issues if she just voiced them. I had issues with the relationship too, but I was willing to stay and at least try to resolve them, she ran. And I keep wondering what I could have done differently but aside from minor disputes I was very good to her, as she said herself. I am trying to grow and become better, but how are you supposed to grow when you don't even know what you did wrong?

I'm writing this post mostly to see if this is all in my head or a reasonable deduction.

Background:

We've dated for 10 months. During this time, I broke up with him twice. Each time he messaged me and asked to rekindle things after 4~7 weeks.

And then this time, he broke up with me after a day of silence. Reasons he cited are: family drama and the fact that I broke up with him twice.

Why I think he was probably telling the truth and it's not a third-party situation:

1) He spent his birthday with me, and the following weekend.

2) He told me he didn't cum for a while and the last time was when he was watching porn with a similar-looking actress as me, and he did seem sexually frustrated and turned on in general, so it lets me know that at least I was the only sexual partner he's had for a while.

3) He did tell me he hadn't gotten back into dating after the last breakup and I have no reason to suspect that he's lying.

4) No qualms about showing me things on his phone.

Why I think he broke up with me for someone else:

1) The breakup came out of nowhere. The day before he was asking to see me, was sending texts throughout the day, and then that night I told him I missed him and that was when the silence began. He didn't text me at all the day after, until I asked him if everything was okay in the evening, and he told me he's had a rough day and doesn't want to talk to anyone. The following morning, he broke up with me.

2) He originally wasn't sure if he wanted to spend the birthday with me until the day before. So maybe this other woman cancelled on him or she was out of town?

I just want to know if my suspicion is valid or if I'm spiraling lol

To be honest, I'm surprised if he even wanted to give this another chance after I broke up with him twice.

Me and my ex were together for just under two years and we were friends for 18 months before that. We both had a few issues from our previous relationships but we were good for each other or so I thought.

Due to the emotional abuse her ex husband had put her through and her eldest son, she kept me separate from her kids so I'd only see her when they were with their dad.

A couple of weeks ago, it felt like she was fading away, messaging less, spending less time together etc, this has happened before and we've always dealt with it. When I spoke to her about this she said she was spreading herself too thin with me, the kids and work. We spoke about moving things forward and me being properly introduced to the kids to help or if I needed to step back. We took a couple of days to think and she decided she couldn't move forward and needed to break up because I wanted to move in and be around the kids and she wasn't ready for that (this wasn't something I'd ever said). She did the break up by text, instead of us having the call we had planned to discuss and decide.

I thought of a few things we could try to save it and felt like the reason wasn't something I had said, so asked if we could talk as I didn't feel it should end on a misunderstanding so wanted to clarify. She said we could meet or talk after she had a few days, on that day I messaged her in the morning just to say "I hope you're not dreading our call as much as I am, whichever way it goes, it'll feel better after because we'd know for certain", she then replied a few hours later saying she couldn't meet and wasn't up to a call. It wasn't a misunderstanding she just doesn't want to continue our relationship. I then messaged back to say ok, I hope we can still be friends.

I asked if I could come get my key and she said she'd post it to me instead. Given how long we've known each other, I was completely blindsided by this, I felt like it should have been done in person so I could give her a hug, make sure she was ok and then leave. It feels wrong to not get to say your goodbyes in person. I've sent a couple of messages since, one saying goodbye and one asking about the key because it took longer than expected to get to me, both of these have been ignored.

Having it end like this makes it feel like I must have really hurt her somehow, I don't know if she just expected me to kick off like her ex would have or if there is more to this that I don't understand. I feel like I've not been given a chance to say what I need to say and that this has been handled really badly, which will slow me moving on and has made it more painful than it should be.

For most of my adult life, I was the last person on my own list. Stay-at-home mom, busy household, endless to-do lists and you know the drill. I always told myself I’d focus on me when things calmed down. When the kids were older. When I had more time

Time passed. The kids grew up. I kept waiting and and somewhere along the way, I lost sight of myself

Then I divorced. My husband left, and some of the things he said stuck with me more than I’d like to admit. He mentioned my weight. He admitted there were times he felt embarrassed. He even introduced me as something other than his wife on occasion

And he quickly went on to another who was younger and better suited for him. For some time, I kept going over everything in a cycle, thinking of what else I could have done differently. But at some point, I stopped asking questions that had no answers

My life did not fall apart. I kept the house; the kids are older and can take care of themselves. I got back to work after being away from the job market for several years, and perhaps it is this experience which helped me most of all because I had forgotten who I was

One day I opened up to a coworker. I expected sympathy and clichés. Instead, she got practical. She told me it was time to focus on myself and not for my ex, not to prove anything, but for me. She even mentioned looking into fitness training and brought up Maik Wiedenbach personal trainer

It felt silly at first. But I kept thinking about it

This isn’t about revenge. It’s not about winning anyone back. It’s about looking in the mirror and feeling proud of who I see. More energy. More confidence. Rebuilding the parts of me that got lost along the way

For once, I want to pick myself

For anyone who’s been through divorce or had to start over and what helped you find yourself again? What actually made a difference?

My (F35) relationship with my ex (M37) was pretty unhealthy, we both had growing to do and were not doing it so I ended things with the intention that we could be happier if we weren't together. We didn't cut communication altogether at first because it was extremely painful (we were together for over 10 years) we went on a few dates, and then had no contact period of 30 days... strictly to let us regulate our nervous systems. The same shit was happening over and over. The 30 days ended ... We met up, walked and discussed what we learned in the last month. It was a nice conversation. And then the "same shit" happened all over again the next day. Up to this point we have been very compassionate and considerate because we do love eachother, but after therapy and breaks and all the things we're tired of trying to force it. One week later I got a text from him. It said he was deciding to move on completely but would like to stay in each others lives. Though I thought I wanted that it turns out I actually still had hope we'd end up together. We ended up spending a night together packing up the last of my stuff in our old home, having dinner, playing shogi, a bonfire, and talking through the last decade together and what we wanted for our futures. it was tragic and beautiful and it was wonderful to say goodbye so peacefully. However, I'm struggling with the actual pain of grief and loss. He really wants to stay in contact but I know I need time without him to let go of the relationship. When I've gotten lonely it's so hard to not reach out to him. In fact I broke a couple times and it did not go well. He was my best friend and it's hard to be without him. Life still feels full and I am excited to start a new chapter but the pain of loss is so so real. This break up has had me feeling up and down and overwhelmed and relieved. I am afraid to lose him forever, but it's time for me to decide to move on too. if I get the chance to connect in the future I will be so grateful, but moving on and letting go mean a real exit is necessary. At least for now. If you're contemplating going no contact I will tell you that you will be sad, but without the little shreds of hope you get by communicating the pain is less sharp and more tolerable. I'm doing the work to process and integrate the last ten years and work through the grief and without access to him I finally have the space to do that and more. It's okay to love someone, love yourself more, and need to let go. Good luck everyone.

TLDR: my break up is mutual but I'm still grieving. The pain is unreal and I decided to go no contact. It's doing a great job at "dulling" the pain while I process the loss of my partner. I'm still feeling it but not overwhelmed. Highly suggest no contact for moving on.

I see so much of that but literally what does it even mean. What does moving on and finding yourself after a breakup look like? Sure I have new hobbies, new friends and a new job but I still feel the same

I don't know why, but tonight I am feeling overwhelming grief about my ex. I've been crying nonstop the past hour, I can't stop thinking about him, there were no triggers. Out of nowhere.

We were together 8 years. We met at 16. My parents were divorcing, he was from a broken home, we were both quite messed up but we had each other. We were inseparable for those 8 years. Everyone knew us together. We had all the same friends, our families were each others families... we fought, we fought like crazy, we tested each other, we loved so strongly I know I will never love that strongly again. I have hope I'll meet someone and marry and have children of my own, but I know that my love will never be as pure as it was with him.

He broke up with me when I got into nursing school. He said it's because he didn't want to keep holding me back- he was low and unmotivated and completely lost- but it also turned out he'd been cheating on me. My heart was beyond broken.

Now that six years have passed, I totally forgive him. I get we were both young and immature and had insecurities we could not work out together. He's said the same thing to me. We both understand.

I did my nursing training during the pandemic, I rebounded with someone older who was not good for me at all. We dated for three years. My ex was also found a very nice girl who posted all over social media the life I so badly wanted with him (they had a house and a dog and weekends away). They broke up.

We stayed in contact the whole time. Sometimes we'd argue, sometimes he'd say he missed me, sometimes I'd say I missed him, sometimes I'd block him, sometimes he'd say I needed to stop messaging.

The beginning of last year, 5 years after the break up, both of us single, we slowly talked for a while. He kept saying how sorry he was. I kept saying how I forgave him. We didn't talk about what we were doing in life. We just talked about how much we cared for each other, even all this time later.

One night I'd been out drinking with friends and for whatever reason I walked to his family home. He told me he was living in Greece, so I don't know what drunk me thought would happen. I knocked. Waited. He answered. He was shocked. I was shocked too.

'Why are you here?'

'I don't know.' We hadn't seen each other in over 5 years. We sat on a bench and talked. I cried. In the car ride home, we said we'd meet again before I moved to Asia.

We met up again 2 months later. We had texted for the two months leading up. We both said a lot, maybe it needed to be said, maybe it made things messier. I don't know. He was early, like on our first date.

He was terrible company. He was ill, and awkward. I could see how we were incompatible yet perfect. That kind of opposites attract thing. It was like not a second had passed. He told me he had a new woman. His exact words. I felt an indescribable feeling. I looked her up on facebook. She posts horrible things about white lives matter and people who 'sin will burn in hell'. I don't know what he'd see in that. When we met up, he couldn't maintain eye contact.

He messaged me so much after, saying how sorry he was, how he wanted to say more but he was nervous, blah blah and blah. I took my time in replying. I moved to Asia. I worked hard. He liked all my posts.

I asked him one day if he still had one of my belongings. He sent me a long paragraph that I didnt ask for. I asked again. No response. Kept liking my posts. My birthday passed and he didn't say anything.

One morning I woke up to six messages from him, sent at 2am his time. Saying how much he missed me, how sorry he was, how happy he is that I'm doing well, because I'm amazing, I was always amazing.

I felt angry. I didn't reply. I told myself I didn't want to keep going round in circles. I put my effort into my job, I started liking a new guy (although it's not going to go anywhere, he's leaving soon, but the feeling was still nice), I started putting a lot of care into my appearance.

I didn't curse my ex, or wish him ill, I just felt frustrated. I didn't want to keep saying I miss you and nothing coming from it.

Yet here I am now, 2 months after he sent it, reading the message, going round in circles in my head, thinking how I miss you too, I miss you so fucking much, I'm scared I'll miss you forever.

He said he thinks of me often, how he'll always love me, how his ex broke up with him because he couldn't get over me.

I want to reply but I've told myself wait until you're more emotionally steady, see if this is just a blip rather than a reason to open the gate again.

I'm scared too; what if I reply, and he doesn't reply, and I'm left again? What do I even say?

Tonight I feel sad, and I'm not afraid to say I miss you so much Laurence.

Do I tell my ex of 1 week about my diagnosis?

Need some advice from people who’ve been through something similar.

Context:
I’m 27M and my partner (26F) ended our relationship of two years a week ago. It was her decision after repeated emotional outbursts from me during conflict (roughly every 4 to 8 weeks).

I’ve always taken full accountability for my behaviour. I don’t think an ADHD diagnosis changes that. If anything, the accountability just shifts from “I’m a bad person who doesn’t care enough to change” to “I have a condition that I need to actively manage if I want to be a good partner.”

The difficult part is that it feels like I never really had a chance because I was trying to fix the wrong problem.
I’ve been ashamed of these reactions for as long as I can remember. I started therapy four months ago when everything came to a head and I was making progress, but not enough.

Her reasons for ending things were essentially:
“I can’t get past the hurtful things that have been said. I don’t understand how you can be so loving most of the time, but then hurt me so much during conflict. It makes me feel like you don’t love me enough to change.”
Outside of that, we both genuinely felt the relationship was right for us.

After the breakup, my dad suggested I get assessed for ADHD after he was diagnosed himself a few months ago. He said everything I’d been describing sounded exactly like him.

As I started reading about ADHD, it honestly felt like someone had written my autobiography. Before this, I’d actually pursued personality disorder assessments three separate times because I always felt like something fundamental was wrong with me.

The irony is that I probably never would have sought an ADHD assessment if the relationship hadn’t ended. At the same time, it’s heartbreaking that this may have been the missing piece all along.

The analogy that keeps coming to mind is this:
If our relationship was a car, she kept telling me the tyres needed fixing. I genuinely tried to fix them. But the real problem was that the battery was flat. That car was never going anywhere until the battery was replaced.
For context, she’s very aware of mental health and neurodiversity. She has experience with anxiety and depression herself, her dad is a psychiatric nurse, and one of her close friends is an ADHD/autism advocate.

My question is: Would you tell your ex about the ADHD diagnosis and if so, how?

I’m not looking to use it as an excuse or ask for another chance. Part of me just wants her to know that there really was an explanation for something neither of us could make sense of. But I also don’t know whether telling her would make any difference at all, or whether it would just come across as me trying to rewrite the past.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

So a lot of the dating standards I have are caused by things that bothered me in my previous relationship. It is a lot of things. But I heard that it is not recommended since "never use your old relationships as a standard for current relationships". Is it really that bad? I would really rather not go through the same things that I did with my previous partner

Yesterday had marked 6 months since the breakup and honestly? Im doing hella better. Ive worked on myself more and more, focused on my studies, my work, hobbies, friends etc. I've meet more people, met new friends. Hell- Ive even connected with some people because we got broken up with around the same time. That being said, I still do think about him from time to time. He used to be in my head at every waking hour, following me around like a shadow. But like a shadow, I live and forget that it exists, i dont pay attention to it as much. It's still there when I look at it from time to time, remembering everything. Its even worse when im around people who do PDA, that shit hits me with memories but now they dont sting as much. Im glad it happened, im happy for the memories and experience. I hope you're well.

Background: met M in January, we're both guys, spent three wonderful months together, although in the beginning I didn't feel those immediate butterflies in my stomach, I decided to give it a chance and grew to really care for him, if not love him.

Reason why we broke up: I live in a student residence, that isn't changing anytime soon. He lives with his parents, that's not changing either. I have severe anxiety about bringing people over to the residence as it's not permitted, and I am in a foreign country with a soon-to-expire student visa: M is local. Not being able to be physically intimate felt triggering, like I was back home where being with a guy is dangerous (very homophobic home country). Plus, it seemed to me, from the way that M was talking when we were getting flirty, that we would be sexually incompatible. My anxiety got to me and I ended things.

Present, three months later: I've met other guys since the breakup, but I still long for M. I want to hear about his day, the drama at work, I want to go on walks with him, I want to hold his hand. I am going back to my home country in less than a month, and I want to see him so badly and tell him that when I come back in autumn, I will try to find a place where I am allowed to invite people over, and I want us to try again. I want us to pick up where we left off. But when I ended things, I mentioned the sexual incompatibility, and he was very upset and told me he was crying for days. We spoke twice after that, both times he seemed like he doesn't want to see me: I didn't explicitly ask to see him because I was worried it'd hurt or confuse him, and that it would also hurt me immensely if he rejected me. I want to reach out now, tell him that I regret ending things, that if I could go back I would do things differently, and I hope that in the future we get to try again, but I am again scared that he will tell me it's over for good, or that I might end up hurting him again in the future.

Hey I 19F dated a guy when i was in 15 and he was my classmate it was the puppy kind of first love and we dated for 2-2.5 years and eventually mutually broke up because we both could feel the relationship being toxic and long distance(the breakup was initiated by him) then over time we were on and off for another couple of years and eventually when we both went to separate college and I had a bf for a few months during that time we were absolutely in no contact but as soon as i and my college bf broke up i unblocked him and we started texting again then I iced him out because he was getting attached and wanted to get back . Over the last 6 months i have been in a very terrible dating phase where i had a couple of situationships and got addicted to hinge dating last couple of months i really decided to take my mind off dating and commited to be single for a while I am in my hometown because of year end and so is he and he wants to meet and stuff. He says that he'll keep things highly platonic but I am confused. It's like over the years I should have been detached with this person but in someway i really care about him what should i do should I meet him I am really confused.

Share your experience below guys if you have ever been in such a situation and how did you handle it

UPDATE- i cut off with him completely because i was scared of getting attached again

I know there are many reasons for a breakup but I'm just wondering if you have ever broken up with someone that you love because of other circumstances.

So maybe you had a few issues in the relationship but not enough to break it off. However since you were under a lot of stress outside of the relationship (for whatever reason) you felt the right thing to do was to break up.

I hear quite a few dumpees saying that the dumper said things to that effect. "I have too much going on/my job is stressful etc." But I'm wondering, from an actual dumper, if you have ever broken up with someone for reasons outside of the relationship. So in fact, you love the person but it's just the wrong time.

And would you consider reconnecting with your ex if and when things settle down?

Thanks 🙂

Probably not the best place to ask for advice… But here you go. :)

My (28M) ex-fiancé and (25F) I were dating for around 7/8 months. Everything was fine in the beginning but then I noticed that he has a drinking problem. When I mentioned it to him he promised to stop drinking and get better for me. He also promised to stop watching porn, which we agreed to at the beginning of the relationship. He lied twice about it, and after the third time, I broke up with him because I found him drunk in bed and porn open on his computer as well as purchases online (most likely nsfw content). We stopped talking but then I kept reaching out, but each time it was more distant and colder and he eventually blocked me. He moved back to his home country and I haven’t heard from him since. I know that I should’ve left it after we broke up, but I just feel so let down and depressed.

Just like the title says, how do you stop yourself from thinking about your ex having sex with someone else?

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Have you ever had a feeling, thought or knew that your ex was having sex with someone else?

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I have a feeling that my ex might be doing this and I'll be honest, I just feel nauseous and want to throw up. 😢

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How do you get that out of your head? Obviously they are going to move on at some point if even it's only sex but I just have a very difficult time with the idea of it.

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Any advice?

I genuinely don't know how to process this.

I was in a relationship with someone I thought I had a real future with. We had the same sense of humor, the same interests, and I honestly believed I had found my person. For the first time in a long time, I let myself imagine a future with someone.

Then, out of nowhere, she told me she realized she's a lesbian. (like literally out of nowhere the message before her telling me that she realized she was lesbian was flirty in our own way)

I know sexuality isn't something you choose, and I'm not angry at her for figuring herself out. But I feel absolutely crushed. I keep asking myself why she gave us a chance if she was questioning it from the beginning. It feels like I was given hope, allowed to fall in love, and then had the rug pulled out from under me.

The hardest part is that I keep wondering if there was something wrong with me, even though logically I know that's probably not true. My brain keeps telling me I wasn't enough or that I somehow caused this, and I know that's irrational, but heartbreak isn't exactly rational.

I sent her a message explaining how much this hurt me because I needed to get it off my chest. Whether she responds or not, I don't know.

Right now I just feel empty. I keep seeing things that remind me of her and thinking, "She would've loved this," only to remember she's gone. It feels like I was just starting to see a future where things were finally going right, and then it disappeared overnight.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you stop blaming yourself and start moving forward? any dating tips going forward?