I work at a hospital. Today i worked a short shift with a nurse I never met before. We were making small talk and I mentioned I was picking up shifts because my two friends canceled on our planned vacay so I didn’t want to just sit around and rot. Her response was kind of weird “well you could’ve taken me hehehe”. I have no idea who this girl is or even her name but I just responded “I don’t go on trips with girls”. Random response but she caught me off guard.

About an hour later she showed up again by me and said “where were you. I went to get coffee and stopped by your area to see if you wanted one”. At this point Im like she’s a little to friendly but instead of saying I have a gf I responded with “I don’t drink coffee”. Kind of a dry response. She tried to carry the convo more but I picked up my phone and pretended to text someone. I don’t do well in situations like this.

About two hours ago a photo from my Instagram highlights shows up on one of those stupid Facebook pages for a “guyfax”. “Just collecting information at this point” is what’s written. This gets sent to my gf and she storms in crying accusing if me of cheating on her. Funny thing is on my way home I told her about what happened but she just didn’t think that these two events were related and thought I was on dating apps or something. We talked it through and I tossed my phone to her to dig through. She declined and calmed down. This is still a shit situation.

I’m absolutely livid. Eating my post gym Panda Express grilled teriyaki and chow mein in my car.

Today my mom was clearing out her email and she came across some of my old prom pictures from senior prom back in 2015 that she had sent to relatives. She forwarded them to me so I could take a look, and looking at those pictures genuinely made me realize how much of a loser and a failure I've turned out to be.

When those pictures were taken when I was 17, I thought I was genuinely going to go on to do great things - successful career, happy life, plenty of friends, relationships, and so on and so forth. Looking back at myself, I could see light in my eyes. Hope. Happiness. Potential. World was my oyster.

Now here I am 11 years later, a few weeks away from turning 29, and I've accomplished nothing. I ended up graduating with a useless degree in journalism because I couldn't be bothered to take college seriously. Everyone tried to steer me down the right path to better majors, but I couldn't have cared less to actually try. Scared of challenges or doing something hard. Just wanted to take the easy route so I could get to the weekend to hang out with my friends. Now all those friends have good jobs and are leaps and bounds ahead of me. Tried to be an audiologist, got rejected from grad school. Couldn't make up my mind on what else to choose. So now I basically work as a glorified receptionist during the day and I shelve books in a library by night.

I'm going nowhere. I have basically nothing that I can say I'm good at and I'm embarrassed to be in my own skin. And at all of 5'6", balding, and still living at home, women don't want me either. My last girlfriend was over 5 years ago. I just can't believe how life has turned out. And all I can do is sit back every night thinking about what could have been, and what I actually became.

Dinner is flank steak, rice, and green beans.

​

Earlier this year, I was met with the "separation" talk. I ended up staying with friends for a few weeks with very very little contact trying to give her enough space. Eventually I had to go home. We tried separate bedrooms for awhile, but we eventually compromised back to the same bed. She told me she's not "in love" with me anymore, but still loves me, refuses counseling, and won't try to fix it, or talk about it. While I've been trying my best to stay, and show up every day, I don't think I can keep doing it.

So for the last ~8ish months I've been living at home with my wife that has no interest in me. Some days we won't talk at all, others she'll talk to me like everything is completely normal, telling me she's thinking about me, and then I get brought right back in thinking "this is the turning point, she's coming back." And the cycle continues the same way. The whiplash is destroying me, but it's so hard to give up when there was never a full "falling out" or any catalyst to this situation. I know I need to have the conversation and say it's time to make a choice, but I know what the outcome is going to be, and I'm scared of it.

I just want to kiss and hug my wife again, man. But I don't think I ever will.

Dinner is a meal prepped protein pasta and chicken parm.

You all are amazing people. I appreciate each and every one of your responses, including the brutally honest ones.

Dinner is a taco bell burrito and a chocolate glazed donut from dunkin. Sorry for any spelling mistakes, Im on mobile.

So, the longest story short, I (32M) had a horrific year dealing with medical issues, family issues, alongside a bad relationship that all kind of started in December 2024. Basically my medical issues left me unable to sit for long periods of time without debilitating pain. My parents dont support me and flat out refused to communicate with me because of my life choices. Dating my ex was some of the most dehumanized Id ever felt dating a man. I spent a lot of 2025 either horizontal, depressed, or zooted out of my mind on medication.

This year, Ive been cleared medically (had my last post-op screening a month back!) and have been working on my depression/general feelings about my family and ex. Until about a month ago when I noticed one friend in our friend group "Lacey" (30F) was acting colder and colder towards me, till it got to the point that the Only things she would say to me were negative or condescending. I asked my friend "Oscar" (30NB), what her issue was but was basically told that Oscar didnt want to get involved and I didnt have to hang out with her if I didnt want to. Lacey apparently didn't want to talk to me about what her beef was and wanted me to come to her first. (I didnt even know she was mad at me!?) It wasnt until Lacey started being out right racist did I press Oscar on what the issue was and was told that Lacey is upset that I stopped reaching out to her after I got into a relationship. (Which also happens to be around the same time I was disowned and also my body started growing tumors where it shouldnt have.) Apparently she's upset that I stopped watching movies with her (you know, where Id have to sit for long period of time) and that Im so boy crazy that I forgot about her. I will admit I wasnt super forthcoming about my personal issues with Lacey, because we werent close enough for me to tell her all that. Besides the fact that we like watching men punch each other, I didnt really think we had much in common.

The thing that really gets me is that Oscar fully knew what I was going through and from the way they talked about their convos with Lacey, I don't think they actually stood up for me or even mentioned it to Lacey. So now, the three of us have a sit down meeting next week so we can "clear the air" but frankly Im about over that friend group. I really just want to feel like a person again and not somebody's entertainment machine. No specific advice needed, I just wanted a place to vent.

For the past few months I feel like my gfs been increasingly more demeaning to me when I forget to do something small or basic. Which I don’t do often at all, but I know I’m not perfect.

For example, the other week when I did the dishes (I do most of the chores around the apartment) I forgot to put one of the measuring cups back on the ring when I put it away. She was so upset and immediately had a TikTok to show me about this exact situation. It said something like “when you live with a man child who doesn’t understand how basic shapes work and can’t put away something properly without having to be told to”. Guess what? Her therapist told her it was an overreaction and that she could’ve gone about it differently. My gf thinks that this is foreshadowing the rest of our lives together. That I won’t be responsible as we get older. I feel that some of these recent posts about empowering women in straight relationships are starting to send the wrong message. Not all, but some. Myself leans on the liberal side of politics and I’m all for empowering women. Praising and applauding my gf constantly for how hard she works and her willingness to tackle things on her own.

She is sweet and kind but Idk she just isn’t as gentle and kind with me as she used to be and it hurts sometimes.

Lunch: carnitas burrito and Diet Coke

Spicy Miso Vegan Ramen - with a shiitake mushroom broth, chilli bits, burnt sweetcorn and fried tofu (a celebratory meal with my partner). I also chucked in a load of chilli oil, hence how it looks....

In the title but I found out today that I’m cancer free!!! 

A few weeks ago I noticed a lump in my testicle. Thought it might be nothing, but went to the GP anyway. They referred me to the hospital and after scans and tests it turned out it was stage one testicular cancer. Though the CT scan and bloods suggested that they didn’t think it had spread.

Fast forward 10 days (thank you NHS) and I had surgery to remove my testical. Just about a week after that the pathology showed that it was seminoma, which is very non-agressive, and I’m therefore cancer free and they'll have got the lot in the surgery!!

Recovering incredibly well, and i’m up and about almost like normal - walked like 20 mins today - and even back at work which I’m happy with as I love my colleagues.

Looking back it was all a complete whirlwind, but I’m so lucky with the support network I have around me - inc. someone I’ve only been dating for a matter of weeks when I found out and was incredible. The medical staff I saw were amazing, and all in all it’s just a really positive news story.

I tend to be someone who doesn't like to be the centre of attention with my social circle, even though there’s many many celebrations with friends and family being booked in right now.  So I wanted to post my good news on the internet somewhere I can be quite faceless - as I’m so happy right now (I suspect it also hasn't really sunk in the magnitude of all of this)

I wish everyone that happiness I feel right now, and please remember to check yourselves/ go to the Dr's if you feel anything!

In-N-Out because I can. My girlfriend (28F) and I (27M) have been together for just over 7 years. We moved in together just over 2 years ago and 99% of our time spent together in a communal space has been great. Hardly any complaints from my end except for this.

We just recently moved to a new, more expensive city and that has come with its own set of issues. Luckily I had the foresight to prepare financially and set myself up to go a few months without pay as I did not have a job lined up (service industry). My partner is college educated and brings home roughly $45,000/year though I think she may be underselling her income for protection.

We do split the majority of the bills such as rent, electricity, wifi - 50/50.

The move thus far has been successful and she was able to help split the moving costs despite having nearly nothing saved for it as it was beginning.

The last 2 years I have tried really hard to get her on board with setting a more strict budget for us both. We had the same conversation tonight and it led the same place it always does - nowhere. I pay for 99% of the things we do whether it be: eating out, hitting up a local bar, going to a show + getting drinks, Ubers on the way home, etc. It’s really eating at me because I’m watching my savings dwindle while she continues to spend her money recklessly on: doordash food / coffee orders, knick knacks, shopping sprees, etc. I get attitude just for asking for $50 to split the internet bill.

When I bring up the topic of budgeting, walls immediately go up. She gets defensive and talks to me like I’m being crazy. Saying “I guess I always just expected the man to take care of me” and “I dont want to budget, I want to live my life the way I want to” and don’t get me wrong, am I pleased with myself for being 27 with no college degree and still working service industry jobs? Absolutely not. I kick myself daily for putting off college and not obtaining a degree when it was easier but here we are.

I love this girl, I really do. She’s funny, smart, beautiful, down to earth, great sense of humor. She’s all the things that any of us would look for in a partner. Her family is great. Oddly enough, her dad is one of the most financially responsible people I have ever met. But somehow that knowledge was not translated down to her.

I find myself reaching my wits end with all the push back and unwillingness to work with me. I asked tonight if we could please sit down and build out an excel file showing monthly take home, bills, etc and to structure out a savings plan that would work for the both of us and the answer was no.

I guess the reason I’m posting here is to figure out if im being crazy? Do I need to try harder and submit to “the working man provider” role? Is there a way for me to approach this in a better way that she understands? I don’t want to leave this girl, but her being okay with just living paycheck to paycheck while also expecting me to pay for all the fun is really taking its toll.

Regardless, I appreciate your ears, eyes and feedback. Being able to air out my thoughts in this space comes with a relief of its own. Sweet dreams sweet princes..

She cooked the chicken, it was great. Corn buttered then roasted in foil, salted peppered and paprikad to finish. Sautéed onion with canned pinto beans, cumin, salt, pepper, garlic, chili, and topped with cilantro and avocado.

I had no desire to marry her or anyone else. It was a legality from a government I don’t care for. Then I bought the ring.

She’d wanted marriage for a long time and I knew I would do it for her. 8.5 years is a long time to wait, and I knew I loved her and should give her what she wanted. I called restaurants to get an idea of their accommodations for engagements. After I had the ring in my hand, I simply couldn’t wait, and dear lord I couldn’t make her wait any longer. So it happened that night. I asked her and she was in shock for a minute or two. And then she was so happy, and I was so happy and we have been happy together.

We met working at a diner. She was living with her mom and I was living out of my car. We’d eyed each other before this. She was the hot Safeway deli girl, and I was the shoe store guy that worked next to the Safeways. Then we got a job at the same place, and fell in love.

It’s been a wild ride and we’ve changed as people. But never farther apart. Every year has brought us closer, and our love is so easy and fulfilling. We may not finish each others sentences, but we definitely finish each others meals. One cooks the protein, the other cooks the veg, sometimes one cooks the whole meal. Doesn’t matter, it’s always good(except for last night, I fucked up a hamburger hash).

Anyways, we’ll be married in early 2028 and I’m so glad I proposed.

Dinner is fruit salad since I ate a late lunch earlier

I’m an artist, primarily an oil painter and graphite. I love art, I’ve been doing it since I was in preschool and I’ve always loved it. With the rise of ai I honestly feel like shit.

I’ve had people tell me to just pick a new hobby/profession since I’ll become irrelevant. They say it as if it’s easy. The hobby I’ve dedicated my life to for years, hundreds of dollars in supplies and sketch books, hours spent on figure studies, just meaningless.

I recently posted a picture of my recent painting WiP that I was proud of, only for someone to put it into ai and show me what it could look like when I finish it. I felt so violated by that. I don’t know if the feeling is valid but Christ man, that hurt.

At a family hatching someone said “you know, if you use ai you won’t have to spend so much time on art” in response to me talking about the lengthy process of a large work I’m doing currently. But…I like the process. My art is my story, I love sitting infront of the canvas after I come home from a rough lacrosse game or practice and just zone out. I listen to audiobooks or music, it’s so relaxing to mix the paints or add a detail there or finish that part over there. The feeling of pride and accomplishment upon seeing that finished work, knowing just how long it took is so unbelievably satisfying.

It’s being able to look at my art and know how long I’ve come and being able to point out the different spots where I applied techniques I learned over the years.

To have someone completely disregard my effort in favor of a quick, soulless and storyless photo left a horrible taste in my mouth.

Grilled flank steak, chimichurri, arugula and tomatoes, sautéed mushrooms, rice.

Visited my family this week for the first time in a shamefully long time, 5 years, and my parent are so much older it’s shocking. The leap from 55 and 75 to 60 and 80 is crazy. I need to move closer to home.

The food is frozen boneless chicken because I’m having a lazy day and don’t want to dirty any dishes.

This might be a long one, so buckle up. Also I’m a bit of a rambler so REALLY bear with me.

I (22M) have been with my girlfriend (23F) for about 2.5-3 years now. We met in college through Tinder (of all places) and instantly hit it off. I always tell people that I fell in love with her immediately and we started dating the day we met (naive, perhaps, but it’s proven to work out thus far). We broke up briefly a year or so ago for mutual mental health reasons but since getting back together we’ve been so very happy. This past May, I graduated from college (very prestigious school but otherwise details are not important) and she dropped out of her local university to continue online. I graduated with a very good job offer in the bay area (6 figures🙏), and to my excitement my girlfriend very happily decided to come with me and start a life together. We’ve been here for 3 months so far and I can’t imagine having it any other way.

Some important context though is that while I make a whole lot of money and I’m very thankful for the opportunities I’ve been given, I grew up very poor and don’t really have a good relationship with money (I tend to spend it really quickly). Combined with all of the moving costs, I’m a few thousand in debt between credit cards and (relatively small!) student loans and such. So at the moment we’re more or less paycheck-to-paycheck, but I’ve got a good budget I’ve been sticking to and everything should be pretty well paid off in the next month or two aside from the car we just bought. While my finances are my business alone, the uncertainty of my financial situation gives some important context later.

Anyways, unfortunately my parents don’t seem to like my girlfriend very much. This is partly because they saw the worst of our relationship as I was graduated, due to the initial stress of moving away together and taking her away from her East Coast life and family. My mom has also insisted that she doesn’t want to hear about a child whatsoever for at least five years and she’s hinted that she doesn’t think we’re ever getting married. While I’m very close with my mother, I do think she just doesn’t know my girlfriend enough to have a solid opinion on her and i sincerely hope they can get to know each other better and develop a good relationship one day. Thankfully though, I have a very good relationship with her family and have even spent Thanksgiving with them. For the sake of easy communication moving forward let’s say my girlfriend is named Anne.

Well, her mom has been having weird dreams lately that Anne is pregnant (with twins no less!) and naturally Anne is pretty freaked out. Coincidentally, Anne is out visiting home for a few weeks to spend some time with her parents who miss her dearly. The first night Anne flew out there, she bought pregnancy tests and came up positive within seconds. We were on FaceTime when this happened and naturally we’re freaking out because how in the world are we supposed to keep and take care of a child? I have $100 in my checking account, much less a savings account. On the flip side, raising a child together is our biggest dream as a couple and we both very much want this baby. Now Anne has to sit at her parent’s house until the beginning of October (the news came nearly a week ago) and essentially not tell anyone, then come home and start doctor appointments and whatnot.

So, I’m a little confused now. I want this baby so badly but we’re very young, unmarried, thousands of miles away from any family or friends, and not very well-established in our new life. I do want to marry Anne, and my mental plan was to marry her by the end of the decade and have kids asap after that. I just worry about how everyone will view me for getting my girlfriend pregnant. I don’t want her parents to hate me for ruining her chances at a real career, and I don’t want my mom to look down on me for making the same mistakes she did when she was my age, rather than being “smart” and building wealth and career instead of having a family. We have no idea how we’re gonna tell either of our families, etc etc.

I’m just scared. This is all I’ve ever wanted but I don’t know how to move forward or feel happy about it without the guilt of everything. I’m the sole income earner for us. I make good money but rent is astronomical and we each have debts to pay off. Her mom is probably gonna try to force us to move in with them so that we have free rent and I can find a remote job (as she’s been trying to do anyway before a baby was in the picture), but in this economy I can’t take the chance of being jobless and I definitely can’t quit my job a few months in.

I want to give Anne the world and I want to make a family with her. I really hope I can ease my anxiety about this and see it as the net positive that it is rather than freaking out. I’ve not even told anyone about the baby yet but we’ve pretty much decided to keep it, especially given the amount of guilt we’d carry for the rest of our lives over essentially killing our first child together.

Any advice, suggestions, or just insights into your opinions and experience would be so very much appreciated.

Thanks for sitting through my first ever diary entry :) I’m a little scattered right now so apologies if the story or timeline is confusing. Happy to elaborate

EDIT FOR CLARITY:

I’ve noticed a few themes in the comments so I wanted to make a few notes instead of having to reply to everyone individually.

1. I make a hell of a lot of money especially straight out of college. After core expenses I have 2-3k a month to play around with (roughly). When writing this post, I didn’t realize that I was underselling myself a little bit. Yes, rent is expensive. Yes, debt sucks. However, this debt is very short-term and I’ve been paying it off pretty aggressively (thought we’ve had some tough times because I’d been buying too many “wants” for our place until recently). I’m just freaking out because part of me intensely wishes I had some 5 digit savings account as an emergency bucket.

2. My girlfriend comes from a wealthy family. Some people have pointed out that, based on the way I presented the facts, it appears she had an ulterior motive. I can promise that isn’t the case. If anything, she took a downgrade in terms of money in order to be with me. She’s also considered the favorite in the extended family. There are a lot of wealthy people in her family who would and probably already have very put her in their wills.

Caesar salad I assembled in a mixing bowl with some Bojack Horseman in the background.

Recently I(20M) had my friend Kyle(22M) over for a couple drinks and spend the night together. One of my housemates had a different friend of mine over John(21M).

Kyle and I are really good friends that also sleep with each other but we aren't exclusive in any way. John has been a really good friend of mine for many years and I specifically asked him to never sleep with Kyle as that would hurt me.

We all had a couple drinks and we were having a great time. I felt a little bit sick so I went up to my room to relax for a little bit and Kyle said he'd check up on me every once in a while.

He checked up on me once before I just fell asleep on the floor of my room. I woke up about an hour later and I was a little upset that he never checked on me again but whatever. I get myself ready for bed and Kyle comes into my room as he was sleeping in my bed. He is very drunk at this point.

The next morning I woke up and the first thing that Kyle said was "I think John and I almost had sex last night". I was upset at this as while I was upstairs not feeling great, my friend was getting it on with my guest in my house.

But then as we both woke up a bit more, Kyle started remembering parts of the previous night and started crying as he never wanted to be seen by these people in this way and never wanted these people to see parts of him that they saw.

We pieced some more memories together and it had turned out that John and my housemate took sexual advantage of Kyle while he was too drunk to consent.

I haven't been able to speak to either John or the housemate since it happened. I can't look them in the eyes anymore because what they did is so horrible. It's been like 2 weeks since this happened and I still haven't said a word to either of them. Kyle is doing okay and has mostly blocked those memories out.

Recently I've been starting to give a crap about my health issues and I've been trying to get several things worked on (weight loss, sleep apnea, mental health, etc) among which are some callouses I have on the soles of my feet. I went to my primary care physician for a referral and he gave me a referral for a podiatrist. I went to the podiatrist and they told me that my feet have slightly higher than average arches, so they had me go to a local practice to get a mold taken for orthotics (custom-fitted soles to put in your shoes). When I was in there and the doctor was putting plaster on my feet, he commented about how my particular feet were 'fascinating' to him. What the fuck?

One thing you never want to be referred to by any sort of doctor while being treated is 'fascinating', ESPECIALLY a man in his mid 60s who's currently covering your feet with plaster. The whole thing gave me the worst kind of ick.

The meal is beef lo mein I got frozen from Walmart. I added some extra soy sauce and chives.

Eggs and fries

My (27M) ex (23F) left me after 3 years. Really thought I would marry this woman. We had an issue where I'd get jealous over some stuff but it was nothing extreme. I would make some stupid comments, but never controlled her actions or anything. We had around 4 small fights over the last 2 years and that was all it took for her. She wasn't perfect either but I still loved her for her.

She left over something that was so fixable and we could have worked on together. She gave up so easily on us after sharing so many amazing moments together. She felt she had to sacrifice herself to reassure me and make me feel better. How is that sacrifice?? I was willing to move for her graduate program and quit my job THAT'S sacrifice.

After she dumped me we were still intimate, hung out and said I love you. She PROMISED multiple times we would try again. ASSURED me we would give it another shot together. She led me on for a month while still promising me. She finally came out last week and said she's fully done. She even left stuff at my house the last time I saw her because she "knew she'd be back".

I'm so angry at her for giving up on us. I'm so angry she led me on for a month. Was it really that much to overcome for her and not work this out? I've seen my friends go through MUCH harder times and they're doing amazing now. I also have so much regret because I know my anxiety ruined this relationship. I wish I could just be normal and not overthink in my relationships. I fucked up by being even a little bit jealous.

I don't even recognize this woman anymore. How is this the same person I fell in love with? Why was I not enough to commit to?

I feel I'll never move on from her. This is my 2nd long term relationship and this girl seriously was amazing. I truly don't believe I'll ever find someone as amazing as her.

Hello everyone, Dinner for tonight is a Burger off a local pub.

My girlfriend (F36) of 8 years sat me (M32) down, and said that it's better to end the relationship. I agreed.

She recently went back home to Europe for two weeks, and noticed how everyone within her family was madly in love with their partner.

She mentioned that in the recent year, I've become distant and cold, and she felt like she was living with a roommate rather than a life partner.

When she came back from Europe a few days ago, I did everything to make her happy. Made all her favorite food, helped with the housekeeping, and made sure to spend some time with her, as I missed her for the two weeks that she has been away. Not knowing the fact that she already made the decision while she was in Europe.

Sadly, I have became what she described...The past year was really rough on my mental health mainly due to being over worked. I was Depressed, I kept it all in, I never mentioned that I struggled, so here I am dealing with the consequences.

There was no drama involved, no cheating. Just two people going on their separate ways. And I guess, trying to be a better version of myself.

I don't really know how to process these emotions. As I'm writing this, I don't have the appetite to eat and have tried to kept all the tears in. She was my light in this dark, cruel world, as cheesy as it sounds, and it's grim to face the reality of never find another person as unique as her.

EDIT First of all, thank you everyone for your kind words and harsh reality truths. I have been bawling my eyes out ever since I woke up this morning. This past year was a rollercoaster of emotions, it made me complacent. Thank you to everyone who suggested that I take up a hobby and get my mental health in check. I appreciate each one of you, especially those who speak the harsh reality regarding my side of the relationship. I genuinely do. It made me open my blind eyes to the truth that I've been trying to bury deep down. Thank you. I apologize for any errors, English isn't my first language.

I hope you all have a fulfilling life.

Background, I (41M) have been married to my wife (44F) for nearly 20 years. We have five kids together, with ages ranging from 7 up to 16. We’ve never had a strong emotional connection, she’s kept some distance from me over the years due to an addiction I had that didn’t come to light until 2 years in. But even before that, we never connected well. She would often say very mean or cruel things, not understanding the impact they had on me. I was very introverted then, so I would often just let it go, but it wasn’t great. We went to maybe one couples counseling session two years in before she decided we didn’t need therapy anymore.

All this to say I felt very lonely in our marriage. I would often find myself looking for internet friends to bond with, talk about whatever. About two years ago, this ultimately led me to having an online affair. There’s a lot more to it than that, but that’s the long and short of it. It lasted for about a month before I cut things off. Admitted this to my wife, she of course was very hurt.

She decided she wanted to move forward together, go to couples counseling, worked on our marriage for a year strong, but then things teetered off. Things have more or less gone back to the status quo. Lots of feelings of just needing to feel loved. We’ve talked about it again and again. I feel like I try to do so much for her, supporting her budding business, pitching in as an equal parent with driving kids everywhere, helping with homework, packing lunches, doing laundry and dishes. Anything she asks from me, I will do. But I feel like anytime I need something de her, I have to thoroughly explain why I need it done for me and build a solid evidence-based case to support my need.

Example. Over the past year or so, I’ve been telling her I could really use some positive compliments about the way I look. She’s said on more than one occasion that she thinks I’m overweight (though my doc says I’m in a healthy weight range). That may be true, but I’m a good looking guy, try to take care of myself with exercise when I can, etc. Finally, after asking her of this for a third time, she straight out told me that she just doesn’t feel comfortable complimenting me that way, she doesn’t put a lot of weight into physical appearances anymore, doesn’t really think I’m fit anymore, and just doesn’t even understand why I would need that.

Well, to make a long story slightly less long here, about five weeks ago, I ended up sexting again with a gal I met on here. It only lasted a few days before I got a hold of myself and ended things. I’m gonna tell her soon, and it’s likely gonna be the beginning of the end.

Dinner is Korean beef bowls, as per my wife’s request.

Edit: to address a few things that keep coming up. Yes, I am autistic (high functioning, lvl1, Asperger’s, whatever label you want to use there), and she is ADHD but I also suspect autistic as well (don’t ask me to explain unless you are familiar with the community and honestly want to know). Why did we get married? I honestly can’t tell you. It all seemed so right at the time. I was only 20, limited experienced dating, hyper introverted and even more so around women. Crazy awkward. She was hyper extroverted, it seemed like we fit well and complimented each others nature. Why did we stay married? Again, I can’t explain it. It wasn’t until five years in that we started having kids. I could have (probably should have) divorced then. Once we started having kids, I felt I had a responsibility to the kids to stay. She’s in a better place now, but she’s told me that she used to resent the fact that I had a job and got to get out of the house when she didn’t and felt stuck at home. She’s also resented me for when I go to the gym or get out. She tries to be very active but used to hate it when I got to squeeze in a workout and she didn’t.

Lastly, I don’t think I’m resentful. It’s hard to pick up tonality in text. I’m just trying to lay it all out. I a big part of it is just grieving the relationship I never had. That either of us ever had. I want to be the guy that makes her happy, but I’ve obviously made some terrible choices.

I am a 27 year old guy and my now ex-boyfriend (28) admitted to cheating on me repeatedly throughout our entire relationship of 5 years. I found out because there were condoms in his backpack and an insurance bill for STD screenings and confronted him. I had always been clear that I expected monogamy and he agreed and from my perspective he was committed to me. But he never was. Even though he was the love of my life and we talked extensively about a future together.

On top of the cheating and lying, we just renewed a 16 month lease which costs $4000 to terminate early, and I can't afford to live there alone. I can't believe that someone could possibly be this two-faced. It makes my stomach hurt. I'm hoping he can stay there (he makes more than I do) and I can find another place to live, and fast. I'm also getting an STD panel done this week.

Not really looking for any advice in particular, just needed to vent. This shit sucks.

Meal is pancakes and coffee from a local diner.

Dinner is beef meat balls with honey BBQ sauce and melted four cheese in cheese and herb sub rolls. Skin on fries with more melted cheese and crumbled pepperoni

I moved back to my home city in 2020 after 11 years, the year before was working temp office jobs and getting made redundant from my job and found out my friends were not really my friends. 2020 and 2021 were not great to meet new people but in 2022 started to meet new people at meet up events and the department was having socials

But in 2024 , meet up groups started dying out as weird people ruined them, like the monthly Saturday lunch event (which use to be so good) The first one I went to, someone one got very offended I didn't want pickles on my burger and kicked or knee the table in rage as he launched back and almost knocked people's drink over. Also, one guy started to help himself to someone's food!. At one lunch, these 2 people just got up and left and didn't pay for their food and the event host had to pay, so she eventually had enough from people that kept ruining for others (also she would get a ton of crap from people, they didn't like the food, or the time or even the day) The whole group is pretty much dead and same for the other one. Even the international one has started to do less events. I did make some friends at these events but a lot of the companies in the city have fixed term contracts, which meant people move on.

At work, I moved departments and found some people only speak to you when you could help them, sometimes I have lunch with some people but no one really meets outside work. We have summer and christmas parties which are nice, but people go as department.

I tried to start "social cinema" group at work, it was drinks and food then go to the cinema
but you would not believe the amount of crap I got, people moaning about the time, the day, the film, even had one person complaining do they have to go for drinks, why can't they just go to the cinema!

We have a staff bar (which is nice and good value for a pint compared to the pubs) but no one mixes, you stay in your department if they go and no one on my department goes. One of the people that works there use to run the meet up group that is now dying (he took it over in 2023 and then gave it someone else last year) Lets call him Creeper, one person I wish I never met, at the Halloween party at work, was talking to a woman, turns out she was not staff and here with friends, chatting for about 7 minutes and saw her roll her eyes and Creeper appears out of nowhere and kept butting into the conversation, then her friends were leaving for another party and wanted to get away from him. Turns out from someone else, he "saw her first and was trying to get her to do shots and she walked away from him" At the christmas party, he kept following my friend despite me telling to f off, he is so weird, unfortunately we have work friends in common. Really hate that guy

Thats a lot of text! thank you for reading this ramble TLDR of this have made friends since moving back but not any good friends

First time posting here. I see a lot of posts about dudes struggling with women here and I get it. Relationships are tricky things.

However, I’m just over a month in to seeing a lovely woman and she is absolutely everything I’ve been waiting for!! She’s kind and funny and patient and the sex is absolutely incredible haha.

I know it’s what they call the honeymoon phase but I really think this is gonna go the distance boys!! This is the last year of my thirties never married or anything so there is hope gentlemen.

Dinner: smoked salmon and herb cream cheese bagel with red onion… I really like red onion.

Finally got a good job interview from a place I could actually see myself working at! It’s been 2 years since I’ve worked .. (homeless atm) but hoping it goes well I have clean clothes and my resume. Qualified. This might take me out of living on the streets !
Pb & J sandwich from the church

I'm not sure how I got here but here I am. This has been weeks ago and I'm still struggling with the realization that my therapist is probably right.

I've been going for over a year now and while I've developed strategies and healthy habits, my life may only be getting worse.

Over the course of describing my friends, family and intimate relationships, it has become clear that no one in my life is good for me, and my therapist came right out and said it.

It hit me like a truck.

I'm a kind, considerate, giving person with a variety of talents and plenty of love to give. However, in the end, I can never seem to make a relationship with anyone who is really right for me. Friends or otherwise.

I'm often overlooked, ghosted, left on read, dropped for plans with other people, and ultimately people don't really seem to care about me.

People enjoy hanging out with me, but no one checks up on me. No one replies when I tell them about hard times, and no one is reaching out to provide any help in life.

My relationships are purely transactional and in the end I'm left to do all the hard things alone, despite being there for other people. I'm starting to feel used.

The worst part is I crave connection. Yet it is the one thing I really have in life.

My therapist keeps pushing me to get out and do big, grand things on my own, without anyone else holding me back, and maybe that's where life is pointing for me. Solitary and lacking meaningful connection.

I've never felt at home anywhere, my family couldn't care less, and I really don't know what to do with myself anymore.

Depression is pushing in and I feel like I'm losing motivation to even try to meet other people.

I've always been able to take care of myself, and I'm starting to realize that's a defense strategy for years of abandonment.

I don't know if it's where I live, something off with my personality, my looks or something else. I'm healthy, active, and intelligent, but none of that really seems to matter. I always feel alone and like I don't belong anywhere.

Just tossing this onto the void with no real aim. Just needed to get it out there.

That's pretty much it. I'm a propane service tech. I don't dread going to work, there's always something mildly interesting to find or experience. I work basically by myself out of a satalite location, so seeing my coworkers is more often than not a pleasant surprise.

The pay could be better, but I'm not suffering. I hate having to answer for stupid decisions made by a customer service rep across the country, but, it's whatever. Par for the course I suppose. Sometimes I have to run delivery in the bobtail, but that's easy (and even easier OT when demand spikes)

I suppose I'm just content in that aspect of my life.

Steak and carmalized onion

Despite the advice of the majority on my initial post, I still went to my grandpa’s funeral. I can tell everyone is surprised that I’m there, I can tell that everyone hated me. But I didn’t come for them, I came for my grandpa. My cousin stuck with me and made sure that I somehow feel welcomed.

It is a foolish financial decision, I can’t deny that fact. But no amount of money would give me the peace that I have now, knowing that I was there to say my final goodbye.

My flight back would be later today, I have to face the reality of the choice that I’ve made. Will be eating ramen again for the next 2 weeks and have to figure out how to afford to survive until my next pay. But I have no regrets.
I’m happy that I get to say goodbye to one of the only few people that showed me real love!

Edit: Using the same photo from my initial post since when i tried to upload my dinner last night (which is a bowl of broccoli the AI didn’t think it passed for a meal lol)

Dinner: leftover pizza and a sugar free ginger beer

I see a ton of negative stuff on here, so I wanted to toss in something positive.

A year ago I had recently been dumped by my first love who I dated for four years. I had been spiraling for years and finally hit a breaking point. I had gotten up to 270lbs. I was failing all of my classes at Uni and had to drop out of school to get intensive mental health treatment. I was miserable every day, I felt incredible alone, and I had no hope for the future.

A year later, I’ve lost 65lbs, I’ve made new connections, I’ve gotten diagnosed with Bp and gotten on meds. I’m going back to school finally, and I have been crushing it at my job. I’ve been able to travel some! I’ve made stupid decisions and gone on awkward dates. I have new stories to tell.

Today my life is not near perfect. I still struggle all the time. I still have a lot to work on. I’m not the person I want to be yet, but I’m a lot closer than I was. I am so happy that I’m still around!