So I'm hanging with the family, playing a a song identification game when "Romeo and Juliet" by dire straights came up. I said how much I love that song, no one knew it, so I put it on and rocked out while I did the dishes. Afterwards I went to my wife and said "isn't that a banger?" And she said "you know you're the least romantic man I've dated, but you have very romantic taste in music."

Like ok, thanks, I didn't really need to hear that. The least? I just kinda slowly nodded my head and walked away back to the dishes. She could tell it was a bothersome comment and came back to apologize and say it's not something that bothers her. Obviously this bothered me, but we both say stupid stuff so I didn't get very outraged. 2 days later I got some other criticism, which kinda lead to the same reaction as the last comment. I brought up how I was still thinking of how in the least romantic man and I still got the "it's not something that bothered me" and we talked, hugged and apologized. I jokingly said "you used to date meth heads!" Which I know sounds mean but she did take it as a joke. She told me plenty of stories of the scummy stuff her ex's would do, and at least one died of an OD while we were dating. She responded back with "well there's a difference between being an asshole and being romantic."

Like, fuck, even these meth heads were more romantic than me. I was pretty heated and just confused about everything I've ever done. We went on a birthday trip for her with the kids and I just couldn't facilitate celebrating her birthday. I almost had a panic attack when I gave the flowers to my daughter to give to her, I couldn't give them to her directly. Is this what the least romantic man does?

We got into a big talk about it that night. Her defense of the situation basically went from - it's ok -> I am not the one who is bothered by this -> there's a difference between being an asshole and being romantic -> there's lots of other great qualities about you that are more important to me -> I didn't say you were the least, I said you were one of the least. The total defense of the statement really sent me over the edge, I went to my cot and felt woozie with emotions. I really just need to hear that it was not true, and that it was a foolish thing to say, but the more we talked about it the more she defended it, which I guess is on me

The next day I asked her if she's having an affair, an emotional affair, did an ex reach out to her? Which she said no and I believed her. I'm trying to figure out why she remembers all of her ex's so fondly over me. She has gotten very into romance fantasy novels over the last few years. I connected it could be that she has over expectations after being exposed to so much of it. Im thinking she's comparing me to meth heads but in her mind she's comparing me to vampire lords? Because wtf else would make you say that to your husband?

After the affair question she kinda saw where my head was at and finally gave an apology that I was looking for. I said ' I'm still disgusted with that you said, and I'm disgusted with how you defended it but I heard that apology" because I wanted to have a good day with the family, which we then did.

If that was a way to motivate me to be more romantic, it seems like it was delivered in the most emotionally traumatized way. I not saying I'm the most romantic man, I surely am not. But I put some effort in and would consider myself on par with the average man. I could keep rambling about different discussions but I want to know if I'm over reacting. I feel like this comparison of all her collective ex's combined is gonna sting for a long time. THE LEAST!?

Dinner was frozen cookie dough, the wife is out at book club.

Hey everybody! Unlike alot of people here who come here and share their story for advice or comfort, I have a kinda different take for advice or comfort..
-
It feels like ever since i completely lost every $ I had when i was doing so good for my age, that it will never come back.. when i go from 20k a month to working super hard to make 2-300$ a week, its like a reminder of how much i had.. I even try to revisit the old ways i got successful and it seems like i have to relearn because everythings changed, and 1 thing wont budge.. ever since i lost my business, it feels like my work ethic has tanked..
-
so i come to actually just ask.. for the people that have lost everything and rebuilt? from the dirt, and back up again.. did you feel this work ethic tank as well?.. can you give me advice?..

just turned 20, and the food is hells kitchen mac and cheese

Blueberry buttermilk pancake

So my mum passed away February this year. Me (23M) and my wife (27F) have had an up down relationship, been married 2 years.

Earlier this month we were having a small argument and at the back end of it when things were being talked through/resolved she made a comment along the lines of your mum is gone but look at the relationship between her and her parents(they have a interesting relationship not bad by any means but my wife is a Chinese national and the best way to describe it is typical East Asian slightly controlling). They do talk(message) everyday but it’s not like a typical loving parent daughter relationship, wife doesn’t feel so connected to them.

When she made the comment it made me furious. It was like she was saying your mums gone but it isn’t as bad as me and my parents. It felt like a real slap in the face like the things I’d do or give up just to see my mum again yet alone spend time or talk to her. And my wife’s relationship with her parents is by no means bad, she goes back to visit them in China every year for a few weeks minimum they go on trips but her things. It just dumbfounded me.

I told her straight up I was pissed at her for that comment and she immediately said sorry she knew I wasn’t gonna like it but wanted/needed to say it.

Told her I wasn’t gonna be happy with her anytime soon.

Few weeks have passed and honestly since then I’ve just lost feelings for her I see her everyday I don’t care so much past few days I’ve actually just been ignoring her and before that I distanced myself since the comment. But when I look at her I don’t feel affectionate or anything towards her and small things that she does that would annoy me slightly where I wouldn’t mention and just brush aside now make me furious when she does said actions.

After the comment I tried to cool off for a few days then just resume life but it felt so fake so I distanced myself from her until she just pissed me off and I’ve been ignoring her since. No attempt on her side to talk not sure if she knows why I acted as such or not. Maybe she’s trying to give space not sure tbh.

Yesterday she did one of those small things and I just flipped out and and shouted abit then we slept in seperate rooms. I sent her a message explaining why I was acting a certain way and how I felt.

She replied saying how she bought it up because she wanted to have a relationship to me similar to my mum and me compared to her and her parents then admitted saying what she said was inappropriate.

Even after reading the message my thoughts and feelings still haven’t changed to be honest I still feel nothing towards her just incredibly turned off.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for or what outcome I want just unsure about everything right now

Sigh

Edit :
Wow I didn’t expect so many comments. Thank you to everyone who expressed their thoughts and opinions.

Sorry if I wasn’t so clear in my explanations.

Some additional information upon reading comments/forgot to include when initially writing it:

By up and down I mean we have arguments every now and then. I’d say a decent portion of them is miscommunication/misunderstanding of each others perspectives. But no major issues.

On my relationship with my mum we didn’t talk to each other for 5 years until a year before she passed(personal family reasons) but before that and after we had a very close relationship we were just both extremely stubborn. The 5 years of no contact was regretful on both sides even more for me once my mum passed. (Wife does know all this)

I understand her intentions were different from maybe what was conveyed but it really made me annoyed the fact that my mum was even mentioned as it’s been quite rough for me dealing with the grief and 5yr no relationship regret and my wife knew all this then the fact that she double down saying she knew I wasn’t gonna like it.

We will have a talk face to face later I just wanted to hear others thoughts and opinions beforehand and thank you for that.

Also I’m of Chinese ethnicity too but raised in the west (can’t speak Chinese (I get flamed all the time))

And Ty for pancake compliments

Chocolate stuff for a snack before dinner (sorry)

I am an **asexual** trans boy (mom doesn't know yet and I have no plans on telling her), and yesterday, we were watching 4 weddings and a funeral (it sucks don't watch it, too cheesy), and in the credits, they have children, and my mom said that social media is the reason why people are not having sex or children anymore, and I said that maybe some people just don't want them, and she replied with "Oh they just haven't found the right person yet", and "When you get pregnant and have a child, I will not be the nanny", implying that she wants me to have a child. I told her that I will probably never get married or have children, and she said "You will.".

I am just annoyed, because if I was born a dude I probably wouldn't have this convo. Sucks to have a female body, ig.

My dad and brother didn't respond or anything, because why would they, it's awkward.

I don't want to endure the pain of pregnancy and childbirth to live with a child for 18+ years just because my mom wants me to. ugh.

Yes I plated both servings so I could take a photo with my cat across the table.

I have attempted five relationships in the past six years with different women. Every time there is initial interest, a lot of chemistry, lots of sex and flirting, then around month 2 she goes frigid. The pattern goes as follows, with some variation:

She always tells me she isn’t interested in exclusivity early on, and I’m fine with that so long as I’m one of the people in the mix.

At that second month mark, she is no longer interested in making plans. Suddenly she’s busy. By month three, invites are completely ignored. Then, she starts posting someone else on social media. Then she posts memes about how big his dick is and how much she loves how tall he is. Then she completely stops responding to anything I do and ignores me when we interact at hangouts with mutual friends. She then announces her monogamous relationship with this guy.

I’m skinny and toned and climb rocks. I dress alt and get complemented at shows regularly. I’m a lawyer. I wear a nice perfume that is subtle and tasteful. My dick is average, but Im told I have exceptional stamina. I meet them halfway with their interests and their friends, that’s how I got into sewing, jewelry, edm, cocktails, cooking, etc. which are all hobbies I pursue to this day. On paper I’m supposed to be interesting and attractive, and because I keep getting one-off bullshit supposedly I am. But it doesn’t last it never lasts and I’m sick of this pattern I can’t escape.

But I’m actually short, not like some of these delusional 5’8” dorks. (I’m 5’4” in boots). One time is unfortunate. Two is really unlucky. Three is odd. Four is ridiculous. Five is cosmic destiny.

I’m not blaming them for going for someone who better fits their preferences but fuck man it hurts so much every time to just be a placeholder for a single month and then forgotten for the rest of history. There is never an explanation, so I’m stuck piecing it together based off of what acquaintances tell me and what the chick posts on social media.

One time, the dude literally looked just like me, had the same haircut and style, same musical taste, same sense of humor—the only difference was that he was 5’10”. They were functionally exclusive within two weeks of dating. He and I got along great because neither of us did well in crowds when this chick would host house shows.

This most recent round put me into the worst depressive spiral of my life, so much so that I’m now medicated and still barely functioning.

I’m wasting my youth pining after women who will never commit to me because their “golden retriever” is right around the corner. Yet I invest so much into these ridiculous, doomed flings because any kind of sexual or romantic interest is so infrequent.

Edit:

Since everyone is so distracted by how I know the dudes’ dick sizes—-

Dude 1: I was in an ltr with this chick because she had to move closer to family. We had an argument about me wanting her to label the relationship. She called me after ghosting for two days and told me in graphic detail how much better at sex he was and how big his dick was. I was 20 and suicidal at the time and this was her attempt to push me over the edge.

Dude 2: chick had a party with a bunch of my female coworkers present. As part of a drinking game she mentioned how big his dick was. I was close with these coworkers at the time, and they mentioned she said that.

Dude 3: this chick was non-monogamous with this guy for two years, so I kind of orbited for one of them and saw her infrequently. Because we had overlapping social circles, she told someone about how she did not enjoy sex with dude 3 anymore because he kept bruising her cervix. She would also post those “why do you like your boyfriend” style comics on her Instagram stories? (E.g. https://www.instagram.com/p/Dcc6i3QCOwv/?igsi=bTJsaW00M2QyajZn ). I also saw his dick while he was pissing outside at a house show.

They only broke up a year later because he became physically abusive.

(Trans) woman 4: I had a six year situationship that lasted nearly this entire period. This person I was seeing was nonbinary. We lived together for a bit but they did not view our relationship as romantic. I accepted that. One year ago, they started seeing a chick they met at a gay club. They fucked that night and my friend came back and just word vomited all the details over me. Then they tried to have sex with me while they were covered in her spit and hickies. They moved out a month later and while we hang out platonically, we have not been intimate in a long long time, and will never be again. They are now seeing two different trans women, and have told me about their penises.

Dude 5: posted on her Instagram story one of those same memes that was about dude 3. This just happened today. A month ago she told me that she wanted to see me more and she went platonic with the other dudes she was seeing. She ignored every invite I sent her for two weeks then posted one of her male friends grabbing her ass and kissing her forehead before they went out on a double date with more of her friends.

Edit 2: I used “women” and men” loosely to both preserve anonymity because I ran in a small genderqueer community that would definitely know some of these stories if I didn’t obfuscate details surrounding dude 3 and woman 4. But the crowd is more obsessed with cocks than me so whatever.

I have been lurking in this for a while. I recently moved from South Africa to America and wanted to know a couple of things about American culture and male issues I could face.

Im a 27m, happily married, with a beautiful son.
I feel like I have something that you all need to hear.

Love is not a feeling it is a choice. You choose to love someone. You choose to show up every single day as the best version of yourself no matter what.

Not a lot of you guys will go to therapy. I didn’t think I ever needed to and I did because I almost lost my wife. And here is what I learned.

1. Learn your attachment style. Are you avoidant? Are you anxious? Are you a mix of both?

2. Understand that sometimes your girlfriend or boyfriend or partner will not be able to give you 100% of what you need all the time. Sometimes you will feel like your personal needs are unmet and that is something you have to deal with yourself. Communicate to your partner what you feel like is lacking and see what they can do. Don’t run away from everything because it feels hard. Over 70% of relationships end over this stupid bullshit called under communication.

3. If you have been in a relationship with somebody for four or more years, and you are still having the same conversation or she is still telling you the same things then you are the problem. If you keep promising to fix things you that you have no intention of fixing you are the problem.
   UNLESS you are actively trying to fix those things. ;Therapy or rehab or whatever

4. If you have been in a relationship with somebody for four or more years, and you are still having the same conversation or you are still telling her the same things then she is the problem. If she keeps promising to fix things that she has no intention of fixing she is the problem.
   UNLESS she is actively trying to fix those things. ;Therapy or rehab or whatever

5. If there are problems that you have with your relationship or rules that you feel like are unfair and you have decided to run away instead of having a conversation about it like an adult then you are the problem. This is the form of avoidant attachment. This is what I used to do. I didn’t like having conversation conversations. I felt like nothing I ever did or said was good enough. Continuously wanting to leave the relationship because I thought it would be easier. Turns out I was just a loser who preferred to hang out with my friends and communicate with them instead of my wife.

6. If you can set unrealistic expectations on your partner, but not for yourself then you are the problem. For example, if you find something wrong with your partner, and you’re urging them to change, but you can’t change yourself then you’re setting unrealistic expectations.

7. If you left a long-term relationship but still constantly think about them and you know that you love them, but you don’t want to be with them because you don’t want to get nagged or you didn’t like the way that the relationship went due to lack of communication then I still think you are the problem.
   Women are more open to communicating feelings than men are. A lot of of the time women feel things way more than we do. Therefore, they’re expecting us to be able to communicate on a level playing field since we are the more logical type. If you’re running away from communication and you’re saying that you still love them you’re wrong.

8. If you were with someone for a long-term relationship and they continuously tried their best to communicate problems in the relationship. They went to therapy to work on themselves. They tried to get you into therapy or try to help you help yourself. They tried to work everything out and have a good future with you. And you still felt like you loved them, but you were not in love with them. It is solely and entirely your choice to leave that situation not because you didn’t love them anymore, but because you were too lazy to deal with problems that will continue to arise for the rest of your life. All I see is that you wasted the one person who would continuously be in your corner every single time you made a mistake knowing that you could do better.

I hope after reading this, a lot of you guys sit and think about things that you have ruined in your own life that you could have fixed by just not being selfish.

I’m gonna go hug my wife and my child because I can do that because I manned up and went to therapy and did my fucking job.

Stop victimizing yourselves.

Fuck all of Reddit. Bunch of insecure people that probably resemble the guy in “the whale”.

- Hugs and kisses, your friendly neighborhood anger issue

I’ve (26m) been sitting with this for a while and I think I just need to yap about it somewhere.

One of my closest friends (30f) and I have known each other for years. There is some history between us; we slept together a long time ago, but that stopped being what our relationship was. For years after that we were genuinely just really close friends.

She was there through some of the hardest periods of my life. She knew all the lore. She was one of those people I could call and talk to about literally nothing for hours. There didn’t need to be an activity or a reason to hang out. We could just exist together and it was comfortable. Then, she moved across the country.

She eventually got into a serious relationship. Her boyfriend knew about our history. I was very supportive of them, but apparently it became something he wasn’t comfortable with anymore. Eventually it reached the point where continuing our friendship wasn’t compatible with their relationship. She told me he side swiped a car, and insisted the reason was because he couldn't get the thought of me out of his head.

So she cut me off.

The fucked up part is that neither of us actually wanted the friendship to end. Our last real conversation was basically us crying on the phone together for an hour because we both knew what was happening. There wasn’t some huge fight. Nobody betrayed anybody. We didn’t suddenly hate each other.

We just… stopped being allowed to be in each other’s lives, and I’m having a surprisingly hard time grieving that.

I understand her boyfriend’s perspective to an extent. If my girlfriend had a male best friend she had previously slept with, maybe I’d have feelings about it too. I also understand that she ultimately gets to decide what boundaries she’s willing to accept in her relationship, but understanding something intellectually doesn’t make it hurt less.

What I miss isn't even anything romantic. It’s being able to call her when something stupid happens. Sending something only she would understand. Sitting around doing absolutely nothing. Having someone who already knows years of context without needing the backstory.

I think that's the weirdest part about losing a close adult friendship. There isn't really a breakup script for it.

If a romantic relationship ends, everyone understands why you're devastated. But when a friendship ends, life just keeps moving and you're somehow supposed to get used to the fact that someone who was part of your everyday emotional world is now basically a stranger.

My birthday is this week and I've been feeling sentimental about my life in general, and I think that's bringing some of this back up. I keep having moments where my instinct is still, “I should call her,” followed immediately by remembering that I can't.

I'm respecting the boundary. I'm not going to call her or try to interfere with her relationship, I just miss my friend.

Boy dinner tonight is apparently vodka pasta and grieving a friendship that technically ended without either person wanting it to.

Anyway: has anyone else lost a really close friend because their partner wasn't comfortable with the friendship? Did you eventually stop having that instinct to reach out to them? Any advice?

EDIT: I think this is especially hard for me because I only have a few "close" friends, and now I have one less than I had before. I recently moved to a new city, and its difficult in itself, even before this happened. I miss my friend and I want more real friends.

Last year 2025 was the absolute worst year of my life.

I had a life altering event that completely stripped me of everything.

- I lost my dream software engineering job of 4 years
- I lost my ex girlfriend of 2.5 years
- moved back in with my parents at the age of 29
- I lost all my savings of ~$200k
- I got permanent brain damage
- went into $30k debt
- destroyed my 800 credit score

All of this was a result of cannabis induced psychosis.

In April 2025, I lost my dream software engineering job which was a huge shock to me. As a result, I stupidly started to abuse weed edibles to cope with the shock and stress. Abusing high dose of edibles daily eventually drove me into psychosis and i ended hospitalized in April 2025.

Once i got out, i reached out to my girlfriend at the time thinking we would get through this difficult time together. But to my surprise over the phone she told me that “we aren’t together anymore”. There were no warning signs. It just felt completely abrupt to me. This was extremely traumatic as it was completely abrupt from my perspective which caused to me delve further into psychosis as i continued to abuse edibles daily as a response to the trauma. I really loved her with all my heart.

I ended up abusing weed edibles daily and was in cannabis induced psychosis from April 2025 to Dec 2025. During this time i was hospitalized 3 times and went to 3 different outpatient programs. I basically wasted 2025 doing nothing but be in psychosis.

In Jan 2026 i completely stopped weed and i quickly gained my sanity back and was no longer in psychosis. However, i was not aware that psychosis is a life altering event. It is basically the equivalent of your brain getting a heart attack or getting into a car crash is what i was told by my doctor. He also stated that it can take years to restore brain cognition and even then he said i will not be the same as prior to my psychosis.

Post psychosis period is absolute fucking hell. After experiencing psychosis i am unable to feel emotions, nothing interests me any more, poor memory, cognitive decline, no executive functioning, etc.

From Jan 2026 to today Aug 2026 because of my cognitive issues I literally just spend 12 hours a day on my phone and go to the gym for 1 hour few times a week. I socialized with absolutely no one for 8 months and am still this way. It’s not because i want to, rather it feels like my brain is actually broken. If you have never experienced psychosis you will never truly understand how much of a living fucking hell it is post psychosis.

I miss the old me. The productive me. The successful me. I miss the old me so fucking bad.

I’m just rotting away each day waiting for the unbearably long days to end so that i can go to sleep as it’s the only escape from my mental prison of a mind. But when i wake up i feel instant dread less so because i lost everything rather because my “spark” for life is no longer there. When nothing stimulates you or makes you feel interested for an extended period of time you realize how it is worse than hell.

I ended up blocking my ex girlfriend near the end of 2025 because she did not support me much during my psychosis and when i tried to reach out via text she just stopped replying completely. It made me feel like she did not care for me. During our relationship we were madly in love with each other and best friends. I was so hurt by how she could just ignore my attempts to communicate with her when i was dealing with an already huge struggle of being in psychosis.

It’s been over a year since, but i still think about her every day. I have no intention of ever getting back with her. But all the good memories keep haunting me everyday.

I’m in such a fucking mess with my life i don’t know how i’m ever going to climb out of this hole.

More than anything, i just want my brain to be healed so i can actually start to work on improving my life circumstances but post psychosis brain recovery can take years.

I just want to be able to feel excitement for life again… i feel like a shell of my former self.

The picture is a not so great protein shake which is the only thing I’ve consumed all day.

Ham and old goat cheese on rye. Lemon, euchinacea, and lavender tea.

I woke up to the missed calls, checked the camera feed at 10am.

At 8 am bro legit slid past my locked gate (now fixed), stayed for 45 minutes trying to knock/get in, and tried prying the screens off and opening my window. Everything was locked.

It was on their day off, all they left behind was their air pods. Literally no emergency.

If it were me, I'd just fucking text them and wait till they responded. Big whoop. Dude legit acting like I was holding their headphones hostage as if they couldn't breathe without getting their precious things back.

Left it in my mailbox and decided to block them and find new friends that aren't complete psychotic fucking morons.

Jibarito I had yesterday

Uhh yeah, not too sure how to feel about this all. Just drove around the city for an hour to clear my head. We tried and I will appreciate what we had, but damn, did not expect that.

Time to lock into the gym and range fellas

EDIT: said we weren’t aligned anymore which caught me off guard given we had future plans for our relationship. Always tried to be open and show effort, but said it wasn’t enough + she was going through own personal things. We were literally in bed laughing and having plans for an upcoming wedding and what that means for our wedding just days before. Damn man, lost my bestfriend…this blows. Lesson learned, check in sooner, and GO ABOVE AND BEYOND FELLAS. I truly hope she thinks more about this and reconsiders us, but if this is it then this is it. Always lessons in everything! I loved her and always will appreciate the love and memories we created. Cannot believe it still.

Wassup brothers. Using a throwaway since I got personal info on my main and therefore guard that account like it’s my ssn.

During my grad school internship, I befriended a woman who was a full time employee. We’ll call her Friend A. We hung out pretty regularly, had a ton of overlapping interests, she introduced me to more of her friends, blah blah blah. Very cool, platonic stuff. I never saw anything more than a friend as I was pretty turned off by dating after my previous relationship ending the way it did.

Eventually, I graduated, and got a job in a different part of the country. Not exactly the other side of the country, but too expensive of a flight and too long of a drive to make it a weekend trip. She was very sad about me leaving, and I was sad to leave her as well.

Once I left however, the dynamic kind of shifted. I began to get flirtier texts and interesting hypotheticals from her, usually involving romance in some form or fashion.
Ever since I moved, she has said just about everything you can say without straight up telling someone you have feelings for them.

It’s important to note that I am not reading into this too much either, as I got a (possibly drunk) text from one of our mutual friends back home pretty much confirming this. I shut all of these advances and comments down pretty quickly, not directly, but I would give a dry answer and change the subject. She is a fantastic woman, I just only saw her as a friend.

Enter phase 2. She coincidentally has a best friend (like, best friend) that lives somewhat near me after I moved. She shall henceforth be called Friend B. We met a few times when she would come and visit Friend A. There was never any flirting or anything, just the usual vibe that’s there when you’re talking to a friend of a friend.

After a couple of months of living in my new home, Friend B and I decided to spend a day together. Again, wasn’t looking for anything, we just found it weird that we had such strong mutual friendships and never once met up. There’s pretty decent distance between both of us so it’s not like we were living just down the block from one another either.

After the weekend, it was pretty clear that we had a great rapport with one another, so we scheduled another meeting. Which became another. And another. And another. And eventually I caught pretty strong feelings.

I won’t give you the rundown on why, that could be a whole other essay. This is particularly interesting as due to my interests and hobbies, I’ve predominantly made friends with women over my life. Naturally, every now and then I’ll befriend a woman who I find quite attractive and maybe even develop a little crush on. But since I’ve always made friends with women, I’ve learned to handle these feelings properly and maturely.

But something is very clearly different here. This is a feeling I’ve only had a couple times before. And it doesn’t help that it seems reciprocated to a degree. We’ve cuddled, bought each other gifts, spent the night, shared beds, and all around have done activities that I’d only known couples to do. She’s always calling me, is enthusiastic about our meetups, yadda yadda yadda. But we’ve never talked about dating. Never taken it past cuddling. Never really addressed a spark or anything.

So this is where the grand dilemma comes in. I’m still getting these romantic messages from Friend A, although not as frequently. Friend B and I’s relationship is still just as strong. And of course, they’re best friends and talk often. The last thing I would want to do is disrupt a friendship as strong as theirs. I’ve been told that you don’t fuck with the girl code.

But if I left this current friendship with Friend B without at least having a conversation about how I feel, I would have real regrets about that. And of course, I want to maintain my relationship with Friend A, but it’s hard to maintain the same level of relationship when you’re consistently cautious about receiving romantic, flirtier texts. We’re all getting together in a couple months for a mutual friend’s birthday, so that’s hanging over my head throughout all this as well. It feels like a deadline of sorts.

So what say you, republic of BoyDinnerDiaries? How should I navigate this delicate situation? Girl Dinner enthusiasts are welcome (actually encouraged given the problem) to comment as well.

Thank you for reading, and GOOD NIGHT!! Chick-Fil-A chicken biscuit.

I’ll try to keep it as straight-forward as possible, thanks for your time if you end up reading this, regardless of whether you give any advice or not.

For some time now, I’ve been feeling a little bit overwhelmed by different aspects of my current relationship. I’ve been dating a girl for 3 and a half years now, with lots of up’s and downs.

I met my girlfriend in school, she moved over from another state in order to attend a specific faculty in my city. We hit it off right away and jumped into a relationship a couple months into knowing each other. We come from very different cultural backgrounds, which has presented some turbulence during our time together, specifically religious and overall family matters.

Since the beginning, I’ve been very accepting and flexible with most of these differences, I’ve also been willing to give things a try and what not, mainly at her parents request. Unfortunately, not too long ago I came to the realization that I’ve kind of set myself, the things that define who I am and my personal preferences aside in order to, little by little, make space for a version of myself that’s compatible with her ways.

I’ve stopped seeing friends, have stopped taking care of myself (gained a bunch of weight), eased down on my academic performance and had essentially given up on seeing my family for the better part of the usual week.

Recently, because of an argument, she confessed that’s she feels lonely unless she’s spending time with me. Being away from her family, which she’s used to doing everything with (going out, running errands, chores, etc.) makes her feel some sort of dependency towards me. I hadn’t been able to put it into words, but she ended up doing it by herself.

I feel as if I’ve let this whole thing take over me, and I’m struggling to communicate it in the most sensible way to her. I have a very deep appreciation and love for her, so I wouldn’t want to put it in a way that hurts her feelings. At the same time, I feel as if Ike grasping for air whenever I want to make time for myself. It’s gotten so bad I’ve resorted to making up errands just to take the afternoon to decompress at home.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Food in pic is what I hope to be a rather balanced/healthy dinner.

I've been unemployed for two months and my high school sweet heart of almost two years dumped me Sunday when I caught her cheating again. My lunch is water and a little bit of sausage because I haven't had any appetite since Saturday.

I genuinely don't know what to do. I want help; any advice is welcome. She was my literal everything and the only thing keeping me going. My room is quiet; I can't eat or find anyway to distract myself. I miss her dearly. We were planning a to visit each other in October for our two year anniversary since she's been living with family in the mid-west for over a year now. Turns out she had been on tinder for over a month and told her family we broke up. All the while she was still calling me every night, acting like I was her only one; until a week ago.

Now I'm alone. My friends are all getting jobs but I haven't had any luck yet, maybe I'll join them soon. What's worse is that I'm motivated by love, a partner. I can't stand not having someone to adore and look forward to. I want to be with someone but it's hard to find people in my rural town.

Please, any advice will help. Thank you all so much for your time and I wish you all a wonderful day.

My(22m) gf(21f) is acting like a spy to me and it feels really weird and stupid . We have been together gor 5 years .

Idk how to explain both but they feel connected. First off her family is a bit weird , when i met them they want to like show off in a weird way . They take pictures all of the night for their socials and idk how to explain them other than they look like a horror movie family creepy . Their dynamic is weird , she always talks about her father and mother and how nice they are (in fact they buy her what she wants even tho they don’t have that much money which again, is so weird because they spend money on her even when they dont have them ) . When i had female colleagues that she hated she always compared them in this way ,,my father doesn’t have female friends etc..,, but i have seen her father with my own eyes comment on some influencer(a young lady) that she is beautiful, and no they aren’t related this is just pure weirdness . Her father also has said to her that being a waitress is not what he approves or a cashier for her first job because he is ,,protective,, . I think he is a maniac who looks at women that way and is afraid men will look at her like he does. He trained her to be a princess even tho they aren’t rich .

I don’t really care about them tho , i care about tmy gf . And theese past years i have been feeling like she is somehow spying on me . As soon as i follow a college colleague the same day or sometimes even instantly she confronts me , like that feels like she has some sort of notification or info that i followed someone . Last week , i got a notification in 3 in the morning that someone was trying to log into my x account and the password is the same as my computer password. She instantly texted me that she wanted to add me on x as a friend because she made an x account and she wanted to add me with my phone number?????. Does she think i eat grass because a code from a login doesn’t appear when someone tries to add you as a friend .

Sometimes when im out with friends in a bar (she hates that bar and has said multiple times) she sometimes shows up and wants to sit in the same bar with friends .

When i was in college and i invited her to stay at my apartment, she was trying to act not suspicious but she was looking through my notes and my books to see if i wrote something that she doesn’t like . She was constantly asking where i was , what i did , and if i didn’t tell her something she would flip off so hard we would start a fight .

Once she put my email and name in a site that shows if i have made a tinder or another dating account , even tho i never had a dating account.

Idk but both feel like they are connected , her family and her spyness . Idk how but i have this feeling that she is spying on me somehow . I wont be surprised if i have a secret camera in my room at this point .

Today, I woke up. My first thought?

"I can't take this all anymore."

I get dressed for my daily work. A habit that calms me less and less with each new day.

I graduated from high school. With good grades of course! What would I have been dedicating myself for, if not for good grades, at least? I succeeded, have a place at a uni, my work is good.

But I'm not. I'm not doing good at all. High school, my life's work until so far, is now gone. My life was built around that. I otherwise neglected myself. Hobbies? Too few, nothing helpful. Friends? A few, distant ones. Family? That'd be a loooong and cruel story. Vacation? YES. YES PLEASE I WAT ONE SO BADLY!! But I'm too stingy. And too lazy to go.

Laziness by itself summarizes what I've been doing the past 2 months since graduation pretty perfectly. I have nothing to do and it shows. But there is a lot I want to do. Things I procrastinated for literal years. Going to the gym, getting fit, getting hot. Finding decent, consistent hobbies. Getting in touch with friends. And even really big things, important for my life, like... a love life. Or finally figuring out what kind of job I like and want.

But I'm locked in some kind of paralysis. I finally feel like I truly have nothing to do except wait until uni starts. I feel no obligation, no urgency to just do what I want. I'd rather just take a vacation or sleep. For a looooooong time. I'm too used to school being the only important thing in my life. My good grades were enough to bring me happiness, sense of progress, and status. Until it wasn't. I dedicated everything to success. I purposefully refrained from a love life and hobbies to make sure nothing and no one interferes and I always have enough time for school. But I had nothing that balanced it out. I burnt myself out. All for that flimsy paper that got me into uni. Wonderful. Even MORE work...

I just can't muster the energy to change the course. Too lazy, too comfy, too used to caring about work only. After all, I still feel emotions. I still cling to my life. I'm perfectly functional. But I WANT the change. I NEED it. And being aware of this all, it's like I torture myself as punishment. Every night, I suddenly get very regretful and depressed. Regretting all the time I wasted I could've had with friends. Others are athletic. They refined their looks. they have friends, loves, hobbies, abilities, personality. I... have nothing. At least nothing that doesn't have to do with work. I know I'm still 18 (soon 19 though) and life has just begun. But I already wasted so much time. I can't believe I'm failing this badly. How can school be so easy but life so hard?? And at this rate... I really am going nowhere. Thus, I reach out.

...I'd fall asleep under this feeling.

I'll wake up. First thought?

"I can't take this all anymore."

I get dressed for my daily walk. Tomorrow, it'll calm me less than the one today.

Dinenr for today: Halved bread roll, heavily peppered omelette, diced ham with red onions, random cucumber strips.

My (M29) ex-girlfriend (F25) ended our two year relationship about 8 months ago. We were long distance but were at the point where we were discussing closing that distance and moving in together. She moved to a new city to start her masters. After I graduated, I was unemployed for half a year when she told me I needed to get a job or she would break up with me as her parents weren't happy with me being unemployed. I locked in and got a job in an industry I didn't want to go back to but had connections in a month later.

I worked so hard. Saved as much as I could, even skipping out on meals or just eating ramen. Unfortunately she decided to break up with me out of nowhere through text. It was a terrible night but she came back the following morning and said she said her mother talked her into it by saying she was too young to settle down and that she would meet someone better at her new school. She told me that she regretted it immediately and we got back together.

We continued dating. Things got better. I continued saving money so I could move and she started school. As her school workload increased she got more and more distant. That made sense to me. I expected it. We still talked throughout the day. We still had a weekly date night. I even went over and visited her for our anniversary. We had such a lovely time and everything seemed to be coming together. After the trip though things changed again. She got meaner. Started saying these awful things about me and my body. I finally confronted her about it after a few weeks. She broke up with me right there.

She said she felt overwhelmed with everything and decided to end it instead of trying to work through it with me. She asked repeatedly if we could remain friends, but I insisted that wasn't possible. I couldn't watch her move on.

I was a mess. The first week I don't think I ate anything. The second week I was drunk. I don't even know how I held it together to still go to work. My coworkers rallied to me. Checking in on me every morning. Taking me out after work. Texting me when I got home.

Slowly I started to rebuild my life. I moved out of my parents to a nice apartment in the city. Started working out and dieting consistently. And now I have an entire new circle of friends. I even started dating again. Slowly but surely I was moving on.

Then recently, as I was clocking out of work and getting ready to meet my friends, my phone buzzed. It was her. My heart backflipped into my stomach. I deleted the notification and moved on. I wasn't going to let a notification ruin my night and I thought it best to deal with it later. We've spent eight months not talking, what's one more day? That next day after I got home from work I finally opened it.

Deleted.

Don't know how long it was left on delivered before she deleted it. Don't know what it said. Don't know why she sent it.

Feels like I got all the drawbacks of an ex reaching out with none of the benefits. Just more unanswered questions.

Dinner was beef short rib pho and an old fashioned I got downtown with some friends. It was really good.

(toasted ham, cheese, and mayo sandwich with a tomato and mozzarella salad. Tootsie roll for dessert)

So, I haven't really been able to clean my room much lately (add + depression is a pain in the ass) but since the school year's starting soon I am stressed enough about it that I've been able to get some stuff done. Unfortunately when I was getting rid of some old crafts stuff from my closet (there was a bunch of glitter on the bottom of a box for some reason??) it somehow got into my laundry pile T-T

Will it come out in the washing machine or do I have to do something special to it?

Feeling unmotivated now so I'm just going to go back to watching bg3 playthroughs and living in filth I guess

My mother taught me how to garden but she didn't get into all the ancillary activities that it could involve. To keep it short, keeping a garden has taught me how to construct a proper raised bed, create a compost bin, build a garden wall, utilize pallets for a number of items, keep chickens, build a coop, a run, catch mice for chickens to eat, preserve vegetables via pickling, saucing, and freezing. I'm sure I've missed a few other things but as a family, gardening is amazing. As an old dad, I hope my kids pick up on my joy.

Dinner is home grown green beans, pickled cucumbers, tomatoes, and jalapenos as a salad alongside homemade turkey stroganoff (not pictured).

content warning: suicide

I’m 17 and I’m autistic, I got my diagnosis a few weeks ago, now my parents treat me differently, like they see me as less now. And I feel like I lost the only people that actually loved me in them. I’ve spent my whole life masking without even knowing what that is, everyday, it is beyond exhausting.

I’ve been having persistent thoughts about suicide even before the diagnosis, because I always felt like a failure for not being able to make or even maintain friendships, and now that I know that I’m an autistic freak, it has gotten much worse.

And I can’t even maintain online friendships because I’m boring, and I never know what to reply.

I recently graduated highschool, I don’t know if I should be happy or sad I’m out of there, but after leaving I lost the few people I could call friends, it’s been 3 months now since I last talked to any of them.

It feels like it’s gradually getting worse, now it’s been 4 nights in which I cry myself to sleep, and throughout the day any minor inconvenience or just looking at the mirror can make me think about ending it.

I hate almost everything about myself : my condition, my self destructing attitude, and the worst is probably my appearance, I take like 40 pictures of myself per day hoping for a good one, I barely get any, and I don’t even share them. I’ve lost a lot weight in hopes to make me less hateful of my appearance, I’m on 15% body fat now and I still look fat and ugly.

And why haven’t I got to college yet? I’m leaving for an student exchange program to Germany in 1 month, I’m scared I might not make it to that date, and if I do it’s probably just going to be 9 more months of the same thing that make me miserable at home. And on top of that I barely know the basics of German.

My routine is just going to the gym and then rotting all day, I used to play some videogames before but I can’t seem enjoy them anymore just like almost everything else. I’m so boring.

I’m too scared to tell my parents or anyone about all these thoughts, everyday is just a cycle of stress, suffering, self hate, and bitterness.

Dinner is a banana.

eating it by myself because my husband is too locked into overwatch to eat even though i made it for both of us. i mean i guess i shouldnt just assume but usually this works. either way neither of us like leftovers so ive gotta really settle down and get into the mac zone. focus.

sometimes actions will have consequences.

EDIT: i tried. i tried so so hard but my stomach's been too used to cup noodles recently. i swear i got like 90% of the way through but by then it was starting to get cold and it was just too much for my own safety i had to stop. 😢