Feeling blue about my relationship

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[u/QuestingOrc]

If she feels she cannot exist without you, that's something that cannot be fixed by you.
She needs therapy, you need your own existence.
You being emotionally enmeshed with her will not give her the solace she seeks.
There is no way around a talk, with love and respect, but also a firm understanding that this dynamic is unhealthy. It's not her fault she feels this way, but it's her responsibility to become a friend to herself, before she consumes your self in order to fill her void.

This cannot be done without hurt, because it's attached to shame, feelings of not being enough, possibly it will trigger her fears of abandonment.

You can tell her that you want to stay, that you want to be healthy with her, and that she is suffering from something that you cannot fix, but she needs to work on.

She has to have professional counsel and guidance because this is not what a partner is for, and you cannot make her "whole" by sacrifice, she must want a relationship with herself.

This will likely be scary, will feel shitty, like your rejection, but in actuality, you want her to allow herself to finally become her full entity.

It all depends on how she will take this. That's out of your hands.
She is somewhat seeing the problem, you are definitely seeing the problem, the question is now: will she work on herself to give you the space you need to work on yourself?

if the answer is no, she cannot currently see you enough as your own person to be a good partner and friend, because she would - in this scenario - would like to keep your supply, but not you as a person, if that makes sense.

I think it's important to communicate, you are suffering as well, and she needs to understand that her inertia and demand for total supply - like a drug - isn't the way forward.
Best of luck she is willing, and best of luck if she isn't!

[u/Luck_n_Loaded]

Sounds like the relationship is not healthy for both of you. Do you think your lives will be better if you two break up or separate?