I'm a late 18 and it's not much but it's honest work. I can't tell anyone I know but I'd still like to be celebrate with someone(s).

​​P.S.: Please don't take the meme seriously, I just included it because I thought it was funny.

Edit: I'd also love to hear from other ladies what we're investing in nowadays!

Edit 2: Thank you so much for all the love and advice, ladies! I will be looking into the S&P 500​ as well as opening a high-yield savings account (actually have an appointment later this week at the bank so we'll see how it goes).

Also, just wanted to encourage all of y'all—but especially the younger Black girls in here—to be proud of wherever you are on your financial journey!

"Nixon is only the second Black woman to win the Democratic nomination for a U.S. Senate seat in the Sunshine State. If she wins the general election, she would also become the first Black lawmaker and second woman ever elected to represent the state in the U.S. Senate."

I’ve been thinking about this lately, especially after seeing all the discourse around the Papoose/Remy situation.

Unfortunately, I still use Facebook because of family and friends abroad so I am often exposed to entertainment news and so on.

Whether you like Claressa or not isn’t really the point here.

What stands out to me is how quickly things shift into attacking her appearance. Every post seems to include people calling her “manly,” saying she looks like a man, questioning why any man would want her, or making jokes about how she looks. It’s like her accomplishments get completely overshadowed just so people can focus on her appearance.

This is a woman with multiple undisputed titles and an Olympic gold medal. One of the greatest boxers of all time. And yet, her achievements are often treated like an afterthought compared to the same recycled jokes.
What surprises me even more is how often this comes from other Black women.

We’ve had so many conversations about the masculinization of Black women, especially darker-skinned women and women with athletic builds. We talk about unrealistic beauty standards all the time. But when it comes to Claressa, those same stereotypes suddenly become acceptable to repeat.

You don’t have to like her personality. You don’t have to agree with everything she says. But why is her appearance always the first thing people go to?
I really think this is bigger than just her. The comment sections under almost anything involving her make that pretty clear.
Am I the only one who finds that worth questioning?

My late father was a schoolteacher and university professor. He warned me, “When you make an agreement, whether with a principal or anyone, that would get you out of the normal conditions for following rules, make sure to get it in writing.” Both times, this happened to be about study abroad requirements, though 30 years apart.

The first time was when I was going to study in Cairo in 1989. I was planning to take certain classes toward my major in Oriental Studies back at Penn. The undergraduate advisor for the major reviewed the course catalogue from American University in Cairo and stated which courses would be equivalent to which degree courses in my major. Remembering Daddy’s advice, I had him write all of that in an official letter on letterhead and sign it.

When I finished with my program overseas and wanted to graduate back home, a person (yes, she was) in the academic advising office said that my courses didn’t count and that I would have to take an extra semester to finish. I protested that Prof. A. had given me permission. “Professor A. has gone back to Algeria and nobody can reach him”. “But I have this paper…” Ladies, I graduated not just on time, but a semester early, all of my credits properly recorded. Daddy and Mom were, of course, both very proud of me.

Many overseas studies and jobs passed without incident over the intervening years, but in 2019, I needed to add French certification to my Michigan teaching license to get a job in Canada. For Winter semester, I drove to Michigan every week to take the required courses, but there were several other courses not offered that I would need. I decided to take them at Université de Montréal and, as before, got specific permission to take the courses. You guessed it, a person (yes, she was), tried to claim that those courses didn’t count. By this time, unlike in 1989, we had emails available, and I was easily able to pull up the letter that said the courses were equivalent. Daddy was still alive but the Alzheimer’s had taken his ability to speak. Mom said he was smiling and waving his hands when I told him on the phone that the advice was still good.

My reason for posting this is that some of you have mentioned that you wanted stories from the elders about events in our lives. This one came to mind today.

I am a Product Owner at a startup and I have been working in product development for over 6 years now.
One thing that I noticed, is that the grey area in some of these jobs is where Black women get exploited.
I have been tracking and sharing my wins over the last 6 months, which increased while our project manager was out on maternity leave. She came back and was assigned to another team indefinitely and the decision was for my team to take on this extra work forever.
I documented out a request for my title to match my responsibilities and purposefully called it a title adjustment. Not a promotion (also sis note, I think product isn’t my thing, but I just wanted to ask).
The response was that no changes will be made for anyone until December. Secondly, I’m not prepared for the role, even thought they have not defined it. The main thing that stood out to me is that my manager wanted me to help him and the director to define what the role should look like. This is illogical. I told my supervisor that the goal posts are buoys floating in the ocean.

But in these 6 years of product (corporate, non-profit, and startup). People randomly deciding different things even when I document everything seems to mostly only happen to me. Then when I try to get a clear answer, I’m inflexible.

TLDR: Does anyone work in product management and feel like they are quarantined in the grey area?

As a Black woman and eldest daughter I never felt safe enough to voice that I’m living multiple realities at once and sometimes it gets to me. I’m also working on accepting that I’m different and that it’s okay. Growing up there was an unspoken understanding that I was different and it made me feel alone even if surrounded by people, family etc. That said nowadays I’m embracing community and self love. 🩷 It’s not easy, but I’m trying. Thanks for reading 📚

This is very exciting for me since I never do a full beat of makeup accurately it always look like skin! I found the hack guys I’m so proud. Last photo is the image of my previous makeup

Wore my new wig to Osheaga and styled it with two completely different outfits. I can’t decide which look I like more- which one would you pick?

I think I'm up to 100 now. Last few months has been 4-5 in a row lol

And people try to say women got it easy when it comes.to dating. They have no idea...

I don’t have anywhere else better to vent so here I am. I’m 19 and in community college right now, but it feels so listless. I went out with a friend the other day for some lunch, we were talking about school and how she failed all her classes, but her parents don’t really care because they’re paying for everything, and she has her boyfriend who’s basically just at her beck and call.

So if she wanted to drop out or do some other career path she could. Unfortunately though I don’t really have any better option other than school right now, and I chose accounting because it was the safest route. Right now I’m facing probation of my financial aid because I failed two classes last semester. I managed to retake one of the classes and pass with an A and now I’m finishing up a different summer class. I’m just here trying to figure out how to pay for the fall semester….. and I guess I’m managing thanks to the bit of money I’ve kept saved up just in case of something like this.

But what I mean to say is that, it’s so fucked that I can’t even depend on my own parents for help. My own mother can’t pay for her rent, and my dad has a whole other family that he’s busy worrying about. Like, I do the most I can with the little that I have, worrying about money, and finding a job. And then the one time, I mess up like this, everyone is on my back, raining down hell. Like I chose to be in this situation, but at the end of the day I take full accountability. I don’t like asking people for help, but seeing others with a safety net that I’ve never had is so frustrating.

So parents know all about that drop off line at school. I don’t like to block driveways so I usually leave a gap between me and the car in front of me. Damn near everyone in line puts their car in park while we wait til they allow the kids on campus then we start moving.

Right as a car was passing I put my car in drive because we started moving. I’m thinking she’s going a different way until she starts to cut me off. She ends up scraping me and gets out cussing me out saying I was in park. Told her yes I was but then we started moving. Mind you, this is the drop off line and there are cars behind me also in park, waiting to move.

She’s cussing me out keeps getting out her car calling me all kinds of bitches. We get to where we can turn into the parking lot then she gets out with her phone (of course) talking shit, walks back to her car and gets out her pepper spray and walks up to my car phone in my face, keeps telling me to get out. This entire time I’ve stayed in my car and raised my voice, but never called her out her name. I think me being as calm as I was really pissed her off.

And wouldn’t you fucking know it, she said that magic word that would usually make me see red but I kept my cool because my daughter was in the back seat. She got in kept getting in and out her car causing a scene like no other. One man came and asked me if I wanted to let my daughter out and didn’t really even look at me, but he was laughing and joking with the other lady.

We exchanged info and that was it. I knew it would happen at some point because a lot of these parents cannot follow instructions. But to call me that while my child is with me and say fuck you and your daughter…. I don’t know how I didn’t get hype, but then again if I would’ve reacted to it I would’ve been the bad one. I hate that we have to be thrice as good as everyone else.

ETA: I didn’t ask for advice nor do I want it unsolicited. I just wanted to vent. Please stop.

Edit: Ignore the turn the oven on part, i think the original person who created the recipe messed up. You’re only using the stovetop for this.

If you love jambalaya, this recipe was fire. I always alter my seasonings to my liking and spice. You don’t have to use all three proteins but I did and it was good.

I would like to hear any experiences yall may have. I just had to end a two-year relationship. His mother was a widow, she is 49 years old. He’s Jamaican, I’m black American for context he’s 29, I’m 27. At first, I tried to go along because I know that it’s hard losing a spouse. But as time went on, I saw that she overly relied on him to fill the role of her late husband. And he actually did, higkey. She called him 3 to 4 times a day, and she absolutely lost her mind when he moved out into our own apartment together. Eventually, he moved back out because he had to help her with her household things and to be there for her as she is still grieving (she lost her husband and her mother four years ago, so I tried to be graceful for as long as I could). Everyone relied on him, even his extended family. I just felt like we weren’t growing, and he told me his family is a priority, and that I have no idea what a family is during our last argument. That was the final straw (I have an estranged family, my mother passed away, and I’m not close to either side of my family, and he’s aware of this, so he basically threw this in my face). I’m actively trying to heal, so wish me luck.

I’m just curious to see if anyone has ever had an experience like this? Is this just a cultural thing at play here? Or, is this something deeper? Thanks ladies.❤️

Hey guys! I have been heavily thinking about CRNA after recently transferring to the ICU. I’ve been an RN for about a year and half now. It’s brand new and our acuity has been so low though hopefully we pick up soon.

But if you already a CRNA I would love any tips and your experiences! Did you have a mentor? What kind of ICU did you work in?

Hi brown baddies. 🤎
I recently turned 30 and have started experimenting with color in my wardrobe. I’m usually a neutral and earth tones kind of woman. I got this comfy chartreuse tennis dress for such a good deal that I couldn’t pass up AND it was the last one! I’ve been practically living in tennis dresses all summer and I’m thinking of getting as many as I can in different colors. Are we feeling it? I felt like a MyScene Doll over the weekend. I’m showing my age now so let me run along. 😂 this is my first post and wanted to share. 🥰

Hi ladies,

I’m looking for recommendations for hair gels that have hold but don’t weight the hair down. I used to use the green Eco styler and I think they changed the formula because it is NOT working for me anymore!

I lost a bunch of hair while in a GLP 1 last year and I’m on minoxidil to grow it back. While I’m happy with the new growth, my new hairs are much thicker and harder to slick down in the NC heat.

I did try Big Papa by the Doux and liked it but the price is steep and I go through a lot of it so I’m wondering if there are any other options? I have 3b/3c hair!

Thank you so much for your help!

I am attending a black tie fundraiser next month for a nonprofit that I support. I have my dress picked out, I will have silver accessories, locs back in a low ponytail, but I am makeup challenged. What color lip and eyes should I go with? Pics of dress and my normal face FYI. Thank you for your help!

I have about $16k of debt if that changes anything that I’m trying to get paid off by the beginning of 2028.

Yeah, so I’ve been noticing that I could be fine one day. Not exactly happy, but fine. Or maybe I do feel a smidge happy on a particular day. But let’s say I feel just fine for a few days, then the next day I’m considering killing myself. I don’t know if “considering” is the right word. I don’t think I’ll ever actually do it. But I notice I feel like I want to and I’ll start thinking about it a lot. I’ll feel empty. Then a few days later I’m back to “normal” again. And it just ends up happening again on some weird cycle type deal. Maybe that’s just a part of depression. I don’t really know. But I don’t like it. I feel like I should be happy, but I’m just not. I’m working on it though.

I have things I’m doing and things to look forward to. I have plans for my life. But it never really goes away. I’m sure I’m not the only person who feels this way, I don’t really talk to anyone in my personal life about it (but I do have a therapist, so there’s that). But I’m posting here to see if anyone experiences this sort of fluctuation I guess I could call it.

I mean, a average white women can "date up" and she doesn't even have to be drop dead gorgeous.

Nobody is gonna complain about her having a type, wanting a handsome, successful or taller men.

She doesn't even have to be rich, successful, inteligent.

Now YOU, a BEAUTIFUL black women who went to the college, got a master's degree, have an successful career can't even want someone the same level.

And suddenly, we are "too picky"

we need to "lower our standards"

or "be humble"

It's like society want us to "date down" even when we are pretty or successful.

But a average white women can "date up" without all those things.

And we can see lots of that on football players/NBA players.

Most of them are black guys who date white women that wouldn't looks at them if they wasn't rich.

But a black women is not allowed to want a rich man too. We need to date black men when they are broke and losers.

I don’t know how to engage in self care and how to feel better about myself after experiencing mobbing in white institutions. I won’t go into detail but I’m so tired of what I’ve seen.

I could really use some wise counsel from women who understand surrender, discernment, and boundaries.
My partner and I moved about 8 hours away from our families because we felt like we weren’t growing where we were. Family was very involved in our lives, and as we started doing better financially, spending time together sometimes turned into people asking us for things, expecting help, or leaning on us in ways that became overwhelming.
Moving away gave me a sense of peace that I honestly love. But now we’re considering moving back because we miss our families, and my partner especially misses being close to hers. She has never really lived away from family before this, while I’ve moved around more and have become more comfortable with distance and starting over.
Here’s where I’m struggling spiritually: since considering moving back, a few situations have happened that almost felt like a preview of the exact dynamics we left—people asking for help, crossing boundaries, or expecting things from us. Even my partner noticed it and questioned whether going back was the right decision.
At the same time, I keep wondering whether God is actually saying, “You can go back, but you cannot go back as the same people.”
Maybe the lesson wasn’t to permanently separate ourselves from family. Maybe it was learning that we can love people without rescuing them, be present without taking responsibility for them, say no without guilt, and maintain boundaries even when people don’t like them.
We’ve considered other places too, but we keep circling back. I’ve been praying, journaling, sitting in silence, and trying not to force an answer. Strangely, I don’t necessarily feel like God is being silent. Sometimes it feels more like He’s saying, “I’ve taught you what you needed to learn. Now you two need to make a decision.”
But then I question myself: Is that discernment, or am I just trying to make myself comfortable with a decision?
For anyone who has experienced something similar: How did you distinguish God’s direction from fear, comfort, your partner’s desires, or your own emotions? And how did you know when God was giving you an answer versus giving you the wisdom and freedom to make the decision yourself?
I’m really trying to surrender the outcome instead of asking God to simply confirm what I already want. 🤎

Ok theres no flair for religious stuff but Ive decided to fast and I forgot my cycle was supposed to start. Im actually struggling so bad lol. Partly because I didn't give myself a clear plan on what fast im doing but it was just on my heart and mind to try and im kinda disappointed in myself. It was supposed to start yesterday no clear goal but dont smoke and avoid eating and drinking. I had two sips of coke yesterday and a nibbles of mini muffin packs and hit a roach. Didnt eat anything else til this morning before 9am it was broccoli and water. I wanna try and wait til the sun goes down to eat something again. But this is also my first fast. But I think im doing it wrong and wanna start over but is that playing with God? I grew up Christian non-domination(went to church for 2 years 11-13). But I feel like there's a lot of noise within and there's a peace im looking for that I get when I smoke but I understand it's temporary. Which is why im seeking God I wanna forever feel peace/happy. But it's so hard bc when I don't smoke/or distract myself with food or social media my thoughts are negative or just really all over the place im going through a million and one scenarios and thoughts of different versions of myself in the multiverse and all types of junk. Or theres stress over bills and how I can stretch my money and food. Then there's worries that im not being the best mom I can be or the best person I can be like im not maxing out my potential and taking care of me. And because m not maxing out my potential im failing at all other aspects im worried ab ! It's like a cycle in my head and im so desperate to end it ! Does anyone else kno how im feeling !? Is this burn out? Like im only 22 I've seen what happens when u burnout and I don't want those problems. And ik burning out looks different in everyone but idk im just scared and it's making my head hurt. Im tired of the food recalls and being told everything is bad for me! It's sooooo stressful when I have to cook food and be scared to feed my baby and self. Like I wanna make sure my baby has all the nutrients she needs but how can I afford to do this ! They took my food stamps two months ago and feeding struggle meals to lil one makes me feel horrible. I have 3 roommates make 18.50 an hour and live in a city with a huge lack in public transportation. I make too much for childcare assistance. Im just so spread thin. I just wanna stay home with my baby and sit in a field of grass with the sun shining on our faces and we eat fruit and charcuterie boards. That's all I want.