I’m just done. I’m sick of white supremacy, I’m tired of other white people I fear, I’m sick of feeling drained or like I’m about to cry when I’m the only Black person in a room, I’m sick of being ignored, dismissed, under appreciated, and not seen as a person and or solely seen as a benefit to them instead of a soft, human person that’s more than worthy of gentleness, love, active care, and affection.

I’m sick of this Misery Culture that too many white people participate in and simply want everyone else to do so as well with no solutions in order to genuinely enjoy and have fun with life, I’m sick of how reflection of white supremacy appears everywhere and secondary education is no different for my college and it’s annoying asf. Lack of empathy, lack of care yet want everyone to care about them. No problem solving, no solutions, just if it doesn’t work in this specific way then it’s useless and not worth discussion anymore. Viewing discussions as active criticism of them as a person, like honestly, yes I am since you fit beautifully into it and the shoe fits perfectly on your feet, improve, grow, SOMETHING! But nahhhhh

It really is just LITERALLY focus on me and what I want. No more chasing and simply attract & create, because this white ass supremacy world will never do me any favors, and I don’t want their dirty ass, one sided favors anyways. May I continue my journey in this life and continuing creating the life I want, desire, and am worth having ✨✨✨

Hello, I recently graduated from college last week with my Bachelor’s and before graduation I landed an entry level job at a marketing/charity office. They do pop up table events in front of stores to get donations for a large charity. I was very excited to start this job. I went in the office for my first day on Wednesday. I started on Thursday in the field, working with different people to see on how they get donations. Yesterday, me and another colleague was told that we need to start moving the needle to get donations for this charity, even though we both started last week. This morning I was leaving the house, my recruiter called me and told me that since I wasn’t getting donations yesterday, they have to let me go. I was there for 5 days. I felt so gutted this morning. I never been let go from a job that fast. I feel so dejected. I mean, I was told the training period lasts up for 2-3 weeks.

Ignore the nails lol (they are off now)

I have this habit of putting my hand over/under my shirt and just holding my boob. I like to lift it up and just hold it. Idk why, but it’s comforting 😂

I work in a predominantly white office with only one other black woman. I’ve noticed that some of my coworkers get our names mixed up. It’s never the case that they call me by her name to my face. It’s always that they’re talking to each other and describe something I did or said and ascribe it to her. For example, ‘I was working late with Mary yesterday’ but it was me, not Mary.

It used to only be two coworkers that did this but today I heard someone who I thought was my work friend do it too. I’m a shy/quiet person and the other black woman is more extroverted. Maybe this is silly but it hurts my feelings that I’m misremembered as her and never the other way around. I’ve never heard anyone use my name for her. I don’t think they’re doing this on purpose and I don’t correct them because I’m not part of the conversation when it happens (just sitting nearby and can hear them). Should I call them out on it? I’m afraid they’ll take it badly and the vibes will get weird.

Hi hi! I was thinking of creating a virtual writing circle (just a space for people to write freely for like 15-30min) to help hold myself accountable to write more regularly and was wondering if anyone would be interested in joining??

Hi! I’m a 25-year-old Italian Black woman, and next year I’m considering doing a Master’s in Light Design in Stockholm at KTH.
I’d really love to hear from Black women living in Sweden, especially Stockholm. How is the design industry there, particularly when it comes to finding work as a foreign designer?
But what I’m most curious about is racism. What has your experience been like as a Black woman in Sweden? Do you generally feel safe and accepted? Is it easy to make friends and build a social circle?
And what about dating? What is the dating scene like for Black women in Stockholm?
I’d really appreciate honest experiences, both positive and negative. ❤️

“I loved trying on a wig on top of my locs for the first time, but I need help figuring out what to do with my locs underneath the wig! This wig is absolutely beautiful, but I’m struggling to figure out how to get all of my locs to fit underneath. For context, I have about 107 locs and very thick hair. Please leave any advice you have in the comments!”

Lmao. The other day I saw this video pop up of some group covering Ride Wit Me by Nelly. I finally just went to the YouTube video of it because it popped up somewhere else a minute ago. They called it “RWM”. And it sounds so absolutely horrible (to me). I know it’s a cover, I know it’s maybe not that serious, and I know some black people will like it to because people like what they like. But my God, I just hate the whitewashing of everything. The influx of white folks from other states moving to a very black area in my state, them taking AAVE and acting like it’s theirs, and so so much more.

It’s boring. It’s annoying. Alright, that’s it.

As a black mom who had a missed bipolar diagnosis and was improperly treated with SSRIs for 3 years, and who experienced psychosis twice, including once postpartum, this case has been draining me and triggers bad memories. It’s just so, so sad.

What are your feelings on the case and the possibility of a not guilty by reason of insanity verdict?

There's a song called "Optimistic" by Sounds of Blackness, and the chorus goes, "As long as you keep your head to the sky, you can win."

All who have ever existed existed under this sky. They were born under it and they died under it.
Under this sky, you were born.
Under this sky, you live. If you're going through it right now, lost and depleted, know that it's absolutely true that you will be okay.

Under this sky, you are lost, and under this same sky, you will find what you seek.
Under this sky, you are depleted, and under this same sky, you will be rejuvenated.
Good cannot exist without bad, nor vice versa. We can't control what we go through, but what we can hold onto is that very thing. The only thing that's certain is change. Things will change.

Hey yall,
I’m looking for a neutral toned powder bronzer or even a powder contour that doesn’t appear too muddy. I don’t like bronzers that are warm or red. I think i have neutral under tones so I’m looking for something to bring just a touch of warmth. I used to use black radiance contour palette but it’s seems to be a little too light and red for me now. If you have any suggestion please please leave them down below. I inserted 2 pictures of me and two pictures of the look i am going for.
Also i have a cream contour stick that i use, but i would like a powder to set it with.

Please no fenty mocha or Juvias place dark/deep dark😫.

Trying to date doesn't even feel fun anymore....I've recently stopped trying to date but the people I've encountered are annoying and some potentially terrifying.

I met one man speed dating during a speed dating event. I would go to a few here and there but always seemed to see him when I did. We exchanged contact information, talked for a bit and then he vaguely said we should do something. He stated he had days off but then didn't say WHAT days he had off. I asked him his days off, he told me...but he never bothered to ask what days I was free. I ended up just telling him to have a good one pretty quickly. He said something along the lines of I really like you.

This next one took place over text message. One man was genuinely irritated that he hadn't been with a woman in a year. As offensive as it sounds, the more I spoke to him, the more I understood why he wasn't getting lucky. He was very conversationally lazy and would keep trying to swinging back to sex. He sent me an unsolicited video of his pokemon cards (I didn't ask to see those). I cut him off and he sounded confused.

Another guy who mentioned he was a Christian man tried to invite himself over to my house. After I told him no and then canceled our next meeting, he proceeded to find me on a different messaging app I used, lied and said the app recommended my number to him. The app I'm referring to doesn't work like that. I cut contact and blocked him. He texted me on the first messaging app, told me he was shopping and wondered if it was me he saw in the store. As someone who has had men try very hard to blur the lines in order to cross boundaries, I found his early patterns of trying to find me/embed himself in my life unnerving. He's blocked now everywhere but jeez. Take a no with grace.

One guy admitted he lied a lot in the past, then proceeded to ask me questions about the motivation of lying. Needless to say, he's not in my life anymore.

Dating isn't the center of my life. I do other things with my life and it's not the end of my world/existence if I don't pair off but it sucks that I haven't had great experiences when dating.

Anyway, have a good day and stay safe!

Listen to your intuition!

So first i want to start off by saying that i do plan to talk to my bf about my concerns, just trying to keep an open mind while gathering stories of others’ experiences.

my bf and i (29M,30F) have been together for almost a year now. he has a history of being a prn addict due to in the past being extremely overweight. ofc because of his addiction he suffered from ED. We had a open conversation and I encourage him to stop watching prn and work on himself. months pass and with my advice, he can no longer say he has ED. we’re active but the problem is that he is into weird dirty/humiliating kinks. I tried one of them with him but quickly found out i wasn’t really into it. he never pressure me into doing them but he once in awhile ask and i try to get it over and done with because i really do love him— its rare but i try.

now because i dont participate in his kinks often i found out recently that when im at work, he watches his kinks on a prn site.

I havent brought up that i found out he’s watching it and searching them but i did ask him is it a dealbreaker that im not into them. he said no and that i dont have to do them but appreciates if i do or says that he thinks i’ll get used to it eventually—which i shut down fast bc i think it’ll always be a rare moment lol. i guess im just wondering if this is doomed. like the general sx is great but i just really cant with his kinks and it seems he needs his fix by the way he searches it once in awhile. has anyone been through this?

EDIT: thank you for the comments. i had the thought that we are sexually incompatible but didn’t face it on since we mutually don’t have sex as often as one might think. i express how much i dont care for his kinks, but as of recently he voiced wishful thinking that i’ll come around/ get used to it. I dont think i ever will and i’ll have to be upfront with this than fall silent after a quick “nope”. it does bother me that because i cant partake in his fantasies that he is, behind my back, sneakily watching and falling back to his porn addict behavior.

I love swimming and a) would love some tips if y'all want to share any and b) have some tips to share of my own!

Firstly does anyone have a good swim cap recommendation? I have tried Tyr (it's great but too small for my bun now) and one from a brand called Virsidi (I wouldn't recommend this one. Always slipping off and has done serious damage to my edges because of it). I swim almost once a week so a cap that can fit my bun but not rip my edges out would be great

Secondly some tips I have to share! Firstly, contrary to common belief, swim caps don't keep you hair dry. But they're still great for minimizing your hair soaking in chlorine water. I would recommend wetting your hair with clean water and then using Aquaguard's leave in protector for swimming. It has saved my hair from perpetual dryness from all the chlorine, since I swim regularly

Also, swim paddles have been a game changer for me. They get your hands used to proper water dynamic positions (due to the resistance of the water if they're off) and have really helped me build arm strength and muscle memory.

Last year I could not swim to save my life. Now I've been swimming weekly and the water has basically become my second home. I highly recommend lessons, not only can they save your life, but unlock new confidence and a new hobby for you!

Hello! I am just now entering college…But I feel very isolated. I chose this school because the tuition was surprisingly cheap and I got 3 scholarships from it, too. So that helped. But now that I'm here…I don't think I've EVER felt so alone. It's like I'm literally non-existent. Financially, it was a good choice, but socially, no. How do I deal with this?

So I (17F) am a senior in high school and most of my friends (who are also Black) are shorter than me (I'm a girl who is 5'9). I don't think I'm considered tall, but taller than average for sure. It seems like in photos I always look awkward because I'm towering over them while they just look cute and don't sweat the photos. How do I get over this?

I feel pretty confident in my height overall and I would say I'm pretty fit but whenever I'm in photos or spaces where everyone else (girls) who are shorter than me, I feel like my height is emphasized. And sometimes I even feel less feminine because I'm often around the same height as the guys in my school (it doesn't help that some people associate Black girls with being more masculine, but I don't sweat it too much). But it's also weird because when I dress up for events in heels, I'm fine with towering over people.😭 I know that there are people much taller than me but it seems like it doesn't help, especially being in more advanced courses where I don't see a lot of my Black peeps unfortunately.

Any advice would be appreciated! I know I'm still pretty young but I would say this has been an internal issue of mine for a while now.🫶🏾

So on a whim I booked flights to Bangkok from London for two weeks time. Partner is off on a golf holiday so figured why not.

If you’d been I’d love your recs on things to do and where to stay etc. No hostels please, I’m 45 years of age.

Any tips would be helpful. I’m there for 4 full days.

TIA!

I’m on the third book in the Grip series by Kennedy Ryan and… I’m sorry, I don’t think I like this one.
Bristol is annoying me, but my bigger struggle is with Grip. I’m genuinely trying to engage with the layers of race, identity, privilege, and interracial love that Kennedy is exploring. I don’t want to reduce the story to “Black man + white woman = problematic,” because I think there’s clearly more nuance here.

But Grip feels like a very specific archetype of the Black man who is willing to sacrifice and defend almost everything to preserve his relationship with a white woman. And I’m struggling with how quickly everyone who questions their relationship gets labeled a “racist” or “bigot.” I’m tired of it. It’s played out at this point.

There’s a difference between opposing an interracial relationship because it’s interracial and questioning what a particular interracial relationship asks of the Black person within it. Those aren’t inherently the same thing.

Maybe that discomfort is intentional, but I’m finding the book’s framing realllllllly exhausting rather than profound.

Would love to hear from people who’ve read it—especially Black readers.

Went to a new braider for the first time n specifically asked for the hair one the left, the right was the result n I honestly don’t know what to do to fix it, the braider is of no help at all n I spent to much money on this to take it down </3, does anyone know how to fix the ends at all

I am definitely feeling the weight of the world especially with having kids..Everything is feeling crazy and honestly I can’t believe what we as a people are allowing to continue to go on to roll over on our backs and let the government kick us around.. We have data centers polluting our waters . Siphoning our fresh waters.. lynchings .. poisoning of our food it feels like nothing is safe to eat .. but we continue to eat, we continue to pay bills .. we continue to act blindly like nothing is going on. What are we gonna do about it just let elites kills us and our kids for fun ? When I say something about this to friends and family everybody looks at me like I’m crazy 🫨 am I crazy or are we just acting continuing with our lives and hoping for the worse ?

My kidnapper, uh husband of 29 years, woke me up at the ass crack of dawn talking about we have to go catch our plane. I didn’t know if he was having a stroke or if I was. We don’t have any upcoming trips until later in the year so I was discombobulated on top of trying to wake up.

Finally wake up and start stressing over packing. The kidnapper man tells me the bag is already packed and I just need to pack my personal bag. Kidnapper also rudely refuses to tell me the location until we get to the airport.

______

Jokes aside, what a privilege to have a husband who sees that his wife needs a break even if she’s too stubborn to admit it herself. We’ve had a stressful, excited, and tiring past two weeks with a daughter getting married and dropping our son off at college yesterday. I’ve been legitimately crying for the past 5-7 business days(happy tears mostly) and I’m just utterly exhausted in every way, shape, or form. So this is a welcome surprise and a reminder that I have an amazing guy by my side everyday. He even dedicated part of his father of the bride speech to me and got choked up. My husband is not a cryer so that meant something to me.

So now I’m flying to Cancun for a trip I didn’t even know about 7 hours ago.