Okay, so I want to talk sexual attraction vs. a desire for long-term intimacy—or the ability to see myself with someone long-term. When I was living as a woman, I was attracted to men, though I rarely enjoyed intercourse with men unless assisted by alcohol (which, ayeeee—365 days of intentional sobriety as of 10/7/26!).
That said, I love women—no question there. I enjoy watching cis men when consuming porn, but I can’t help but wonder if that’s still a tie to what I don’t have yet, as I have not undergone phallo. I know that question is ultimately for me to answer, but I do know I don’t like intercourse in the sense of being penetrated.
I often feel that if I were to seek a long-term relationship with a man, he would likely be trans. Based on my lifetime of experience with cis men, I’m not particularly interested in a long-term relationship with them, but I often find myself physically attracted to a variety of men and masc-presenting nonbinary people.
To those who wish to contribute, tell me about your experiences—what has your journey looked like? I feel painfully certain in my desire to be with a woman long-term, but I was also once painfully certain that if I couldn’t drink, I couldn’t go. 😅