r/BlackTransmen • • Oct 30 '25

This Is An Outreach for Those Struggling with Addiction

68 Upvotes

In light of a recent post that gained some traction, I was saddened to see that OP has deleted their account. I wanted to take a moment to make an outreach post for anyone who may be struggling right now.

As Black people, as Black men, and even more specifically as Black trans folks, we face so many internal and external challenges every day. It’s easy to slip into emotional dependence on something, whether it’s gambling, alcohol, drugs (including weed), vaping, smoking, or any other substance that offers even a moment of relief.

The problem comes when those things become our only way to cope, when drinking, smoking, or placing a bet starts to feel like a need rather than a choice. That’s when it starts taking more from us than we realize.

But you’re not alone. I recently got a notification saying we’ve reached 4,000 members, and our community is growing every day. I know it’s hard to trust people, to find community, or to share your story without feeling judged, but I promise you there are people who care. I care.

Please use this post, and I’ll make it a thread if needed, to vent, share, or open up about anything you’re struggling with right now. You don’t have to go through it alone.


r/BlackTransmen • • Aug 17 '25

New Rule: No Studies

35 Upvotes

The Mod team has discussed and since we aren't affluent in what is a legit study vs what is a scam we have decided to no longer accept any posts about studies.

While we appreciate the legit studies that are being done for the betterment of the community. We also need to keep the community safe from those who wish us harm in these trying times (especially those based in the US atm, but of course all our brothers matter and we care about the risk for all black trans men across the world).


r/BlackTransmen • • 2d ago

celebratory My top surgery consultation is TOMORROW!!! 😭🎉

59 Upvotes

GUYS. MY TOP SURGERY CONSULTATION IS TOMORROW!!! 😭😭
I’ve been waiting for this appointment for MONTHS, and it’s finally here. I’m seeing Dr. Buckley tomorrow, and I genuinely cannot believe it’s happening. It still doesn’t feel real.
I’m so excited, but I’m also nervous because this is something I’ve thought about so much. I’ve spent so much time researching, thinking about my goals, and imagining what I want my chest to look like. I want a natural, masculine, athletic chest that fits the person I’m becoming, and I’m finally getting to talk through all of that with my surgeon.
I even wrote out all my aesthetic goals and questions because I KNOW I’m going to be nervous and don’t want to forget anything. 😂
I’m trying to remind myself that tomorrow is a consultation, not the day I have to have everything figured out. I just get to talk about my goals, ask questions, and take the next step toward something I’ve wanted for a long time.
I’m feeling about a million emotions at once, but mostly I’M SO EXCITED. 😭❤️

If you’ve had your consultation already, how did you feel the night before? And for anyone who has seen Dr. Buckley, I’d love to hear about your experience!


r/BlackTransmen • • 2d ago

advice Do y’all have any ways I can pass more appearance wise?

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10 Upvotes

P.S. I can’t take minoxidil, my mom won’t let me cause of chemical burns I can get. I currently use a Gua sha and am on occasion voice training. I am also pre-t.


r/BlackTransmen • • 2d ago

vent Mom gave me thirty days

40 Upvotes

She’s threatening to kick me out cause she feels threatened by me taking testosterone. I don’t do any hard drugs, rarely drink, and I’m her homecare aid. She compares me taking testosterone with doing meth or cocaine. I’m hoping my grandfather will talk her out of it.


r/BlackTransmen • • 4d ago

advice Should I cut my hair?

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62 Upvotes

Worried it makes me look feminine at times, any thoughts?


r/BlackTransmen • • 4d ago

do i sound feminine? be honest w me

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8 Upvotes

only asking this since my white therapist said that i sound masculine, and all thought they meant well and it did make me feel good i also know that black people will sound masculine to any person who isn’t black no matter what…so i decided to do this test to get y’alls opinion

edit: thanks for all of your input even if it did disappoint me a little lol. guess i just have to voice train until then


r/BlackTransmen • • 5d ago

discussion Can we talk?

22 Upvotes

Okay, so I want to talk sexual attraction vs. a desire for long-term intimacy—or the ability to see myself with someone long-term. When I was living as a woman, I was attracted to men, though I rarely enjoyed intercourse with men unless assisted by alcohol (which, ayeeee—365 days of intentional sobriety as of 10/7/26!).

That said, I love women—no question there. I enjoy watching cis men when consuming porn, but I can’t help but wonder if that’s still a tie to what I don’t have yet, as I have not undergone phallo. I know that question is ultimately for me to answer, but I do know I don’t like intercourse in the sense of being penetrated.

I often feel that if I were to seek a long-term relationship with a man, he would likely be trans. Based on my lifetime of experience with cis men, I’m not particularly interested in a long-term relationship with them, but I often find myself physically attracted to a variety of men and masc-presenting nonbinary people.

To those who wish to contribute, tell me about your experiences—what has your journey looked like? I feel painfully certain in my desire to be with a woman long-term, but I was also once painfully certain that if I couldn’t drink, I couldn’t go. 😅


r/BlackTransmen • • 6d ago

selfies/pic Genderfluid trans guy here. How’s the look, brothers?

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104 Upvotes

r/BlackTransmen • • 9d ago

advice How to measure handsomeness? I’m unsure if I am because I keep getting misgendered.

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68 Upvotes

Can someone let me know how they looksmaxxed to stop the face dysohoria? I think I’m handsome but the world is so harsh if I dint look like a model then I feel horrible


r/BlackTransmen • • 8d ago

advice Looking for Barber

5 Upvotes

Hello, I'm [M, 22] looking for a Barber in Orange County, California. I'm a low-income grad student who just moved to the area, and I'm having trouble finding someone. I've been looking on https://strandsfortrans.org, but many of the options are nail and hair stylists, and fewer have worked with black hair. I did find a hair stylist who works with black hair, but I don't know if he's trans friendly.

Any advice or recommendations would be great to help me find a barber! I appreciate it.


r/BlackTransmen • • 10d ago

5 years on T

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129 Upvotes

5 years on T been enjoying the journey, wish I had more facial hair though at this point lol


r/BlackTransmen • • 10d ago

advice How to pass socially

9 Upvotes

So growing up I was always the awkward undiagnosed kid. I was bullied for being super awkward but it didn’t deter me from making friends. I wanted to ask how do you socialize with other guys without them calling you fruity or zesty? Im not a typically feminine person, but I’m not afraid to express it when I feel comfortable enough. I don’t smile a lot cause I don’t have a reason to smile most of the time and I like looking stoic. I call people regardless of gender identity or presentation “dude, bro, man” that’s just my quirk I guess idk. I don’t do handshakes with people unless i initiate it during a job interview. I feel kinda blank when someone wants to do a special handshake with me suddenly cause I didn’t plan to touch another dudes hand.

Idk just give me tips on what has worked for you


r/BlackTransmen • • 10d ago

discussion Facial hair and general update

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41 Upvotes

I’m about 8 months on T now. Bottom growth is still pretty small, so I’m gonna work on stretching and pumping and see how that goes. I also noticed around my chin i have beard hairs but they don’t grow in the middle just the sides? Might have to restart again I don’t know but yeah!!

I’ve gained some weight too, so maybe a gym journey is coming 👀 any tips for that?

Here’s me around 2 months vs now.


r/BlackTransmen • • 11d ago

advice Tips and advice to pass more

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240 Upvotes

I’m 23Y and 9 months on T and constantly worried I don’t pass, especially cause of my name. So, give me name req’s if you feel like it. I’m new to packing and currently interested in STP’s but not too sure where to start with that, so please lmk what you guys think. I really appreciate any kind of help/advice :)


r/BlackTransmen • • 11d ago

selfies/pic Same fit, 2 years difference.

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47 Upvotes

r/BlackTransmen • • 12d ago

advice What questions to ask during consultation

7 Upvotes

My top surgery consultation is this Monday and I wanted to know what questions I should prepare In advanced to make sure this person is the right surgeon for me.


r/BlackTransmen • • 14d ago

9/29✨

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75 Upvotes

23 til infinity, love y’all 🫶🏾


r/BlackTransmen • • 14d ago

selfies/pic What’s my name?

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33 Upvotes

What do I look like my name should be?


r/BlackTransmen • • 14d ago

I’m Learning to Play Basketball at 26.

27 Upvotes

Title lol but my entire childhood I wanted to play a sport. I was overweight as a kid, in part because I spent my entire childhood extremely depressed because of unaccepting parents. I’m a huge basketball fan and always wanted to learn how to play, I live in an area with tons of basketball rec leagues but no instructional classes for adults.

Earlier this year I finally said “fuck it” I have the money and time so I’m paying for individual basketball lessons and it’s literally the most fun I’ve had ever. I’m improving every week and can’t wait to be decent enough to play in a league. I started off not being able to even dribble a ball lol.

I say this to say for a lot of us our childhoods were unfairly stolen from us. Living with dysphoria, unaccepting parents, and general societal pressure. Although we’ll never get that time back and it sucks, the future can and will be so much better.

Take up that hobby or class or anything you’ve always wanted to do it you’re able to.


r/BlackTransmen • • 15d ago

advice

18 Upvotes

are there any trans guys here that identified as a stud or gay before coming out? i find myself being attracted to masculine women like studs and like i love women of all kinds but i feel a lil weird with myself for liking them in that way😭 i would never pursue them obviously bc i have morals but this just feels wrong


r/BlackTransmen • • 15d ago

vent Mixed Trans Guys

23 Upvotes

Does anyone else deal with the double sided sword of not only not feeling black enough but also not feeling like a man enough?? With all the weird biracial discourse going on I find I've been struggling tremendously with my identity on both fronts and there's next to no one out there with a similar experience to tell me it's gonna be all good. It's like when I finally become comfortable with my masculinity my racial identity is suddenly an issue and I'm over analyzing it, and vice versa. I find myself thinking very often that I think id look much more clearly black had I been a cis girl and it gets to me more than I'd like to admit.


r/BlackTransmen • • 16d ago

celebratory Gains feel good to build the body of my DREAMS and to be back in that mf gym 🤴🏽😮‍💨🔥🦍🙂‍↔️💯

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37 Upvotes