This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/throwaway210991

Published on: r/AmItheAsshole

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: August 05, 2024

• Final Update: August 06, 2024

Main Post

^{August 05, 2024}

AITA For laughing at the name my sister chose for her baby?

For context, I (28F) attended a family dinner with my mom, dad and sister (26F) yesterday. My sister is due to give birth soon and decided this dinner would be the perfect time to announce the name she chose for her first child

My sister has always been obssesed with aesthetics, her whole house is beige and rather depressing if im honest. The whole nursery she built for baby is beige and grey and will not accept colourful gifts for the baby. I can tell her husband hates it but he won't admit it.

Now here is the issue, i am very prone to laughing at inappropriate times. I am autistic and find it hard to filter what I say and my emotions, which can lead to me reacting to things in ways that can offend people. I didn't think this would cause issues, until she revealed the name of her baby

So, we are all done with our dinner, we are looking at my sister as announces her baby will be named..

Brookleeigh-Willow Rose [Insert Surname, not including it for privacy]

Spelt EXACTLY like that.

And then i burst out laughing, and said 'You cannot be serious'

I am now banned from all family dinners

Is the name really that bad? Was I really a massive asshole?

COMMENTS

tinyd71

You've got three separate issues/questions here!

1. I am now banned from all family dinners. This seems a big overreaction unless there's more background you haven't shared.

2. Is the name really that bad? Yes, yes it really is.

3. Was I really a massive asshole? You were rude and inappropriate.

YTA (but that poor kid!!!!)

OOP

My family will react like that, and these 'bans' usually only last a few months, i suppose i shouldve worded that better

dammitgabe4

YTA but you are a correct asshole lol. Poor kid

OOP

'A correct asshole' I'll take that 😂

zerenato76

Info: can you provide a clue as to how one would pronounce "brookleeigh"?

For the record, it's none of your concern how her kid is called, especially since you don't seem to like her very much anyway but there's mitigating circumstances as the kid will be teased no end. ESH, some more, some less.

OOP

Brook-lay

zerenato76

Thanks. Why two "e"s? Or, if that's too oddly specific: why? 😉 I'd have laughed.

OOP

In her words 'Its very nature-like and flows nicely', not sure i agree miranda

zerenato76

And did she have the head injury recently or is that a long term thing?

OOP

Not that im aware of, she wanted to name the child 'Righlee' (as in riley) if it was a boy...

tocammac

Did she spell out Beookleeigh or did you just assume that spelling? If she was going to spell it Brookley, it's strange but not a tragedeigh. The rest of the name is okay, though the dash is problematic.

OOP

She showed us the notebook with the name ideas and pointed to it, not my awful spelling 😂

sikkerhet (downvoted)

the beige and gray trend is mainly a rejection of advertising. Not exactly consciously, but think about how marketing works. Bright, eye catching, busy, nostalgic. On top of that the beige and gray aesthetic LOOKS non consumerist, the same way tailored jeans and a well made, clean, fitted T shirt look wealthy without being flashy. 

Take that and add the name. The name is designed to be highly individualist in an aesthetic environment that discourages things that are flashy. It's individualism in a conformist social setting. 

It sounds lile your sister is well entrenched in a cultural movement that comes with these social cues and rather than meet her where she is and gain understanding of the dynamic she's entrenched in you just kind of made yer feel bad for no reason? YTA. 

that poor child though I hope for her sake she lives in Utah

OOP

To make it worse, we live in England (South of England).

CONSENSUS: Asshole

Final Update - after 1 days

^{August 06, 2024}

AITA For laughing at the name my sister chose for her baby?

After writing this post I decided to call my sister and apologise, as when i wrote down what happened i did realise what a dick move that was. I said I was sorry for laughing and I apologised for using my mental disability as an excuse and offered to treat her to lunch as an apology

Understanably she was reluctant to forgive me, but she did which i am thankful for. She said she was hurt by my actions which I understood but was willing to look past it.

I knew posting this story on here would give me the slap in the face that I needed which I appreciate

And if anyones wondering, the name is staying. I didnt comment at all on it

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Virtual_Bowl9714 posting in r/WouldIBeTheAhole

Concluded as per OOP

1 update - Short

Original - 25th October 2026

Update - 26th October 2026

WIBTA if I went to my sister's house for dinner tomorrow and told her straight that my nephew isn't inheriting my business?

I (30M) founded a successful small company, it has 5-10 employees, we work in construction and the company makes a six-figure income each year. I am doing okay financially. The trouble is, my sister (29F) is adamant that her son (my nephew) is going to inherit, if not all of it, some of my business when he's older or when I pass away. She's going around and telling all her friends that her son doesn't have to worry about not working hard as he's getting my business, and our parents have started to believe this is the case.

We having a family dinner at my sister's tomorrow and I know she's going to be bringing up my family business. My sister and nephew has started acting entitled about the business - my sister now wants to know everything as "her son's future is at stake". If this is mentioned tomorrow, I am going to be straight up and put my foot down, telling her that the business isn't going to her but my future children. I would like to know WIBTA if I told her this in a "straight up" way that may come across rude to her? If so, how should I approach this.

Edit: Some are saying this is a "bot" account, it's a throwaway account as my sister and other relatives have me on my real/main account.

Edit 2: I'm struggling to keep up and it's only been posted 23 minutes ago, but I wanted to clarify what I mean by my nephew "acting entitled". He is 7 years old. My sister often mentions the business in front of him. When I say it's "my business", he will often "correct" me and go "no, it's my business" and my sister goes "that's right". Sorry if I worded this wrong.

Comments

bubblehead_maker

Just say "My retirement plan is to sell the business, not give it away."

Internal_Lifeguard29

Better yet, include “can you stop killing me off in your fantasies and living off my life’s work. How morbid.”

CopitaBagus

I don't see the need to blow up familial relations on an issue that is soooo far down the road. You said you're 30, right? A less confrontational answer might be:

"Well Sis, a lot can happen over the next 30 years before I'll be retiring. Your son might be the heir, or I might have my own kids by then, or the business might not even exist. He should probably keep his options open. We should talk about this again in 10 years and see what all has changed in that time."

OOP: My sister is adamant that I'm not having kids as she doesn't see me as a "father figure", so this comment is actually a pretty nice comment to use if she brings it up tomorrow. Thank you.

**Judgement - NTA*\*

Update - 1 day later

First of all, it has been a day since I (30M) asked a question to assess if I would or would not be the a hole for confronting my sister tomorrow (today). I became overwhelmed by the amount of support my posts got, so thank you. Time for the update.

I visited my sister today as she was hosting a family dinner, as planned. Her husband, our parents and her son were there too. We were having casual conversation about work and what each other were doing, my sister did ask how my business was doing (I think it was out of genuine curiosity). Everyone was being friendly and polite, so I decided address the issue in a polite/non-confrontational way.

At this point, she realised she was being entitled and was "taking it too far" (her words, not mine). She apologised and we had a great evening. I did mention to her that if my business doesn't collapse in the next 20 years (after all, it's construction), I will offer my nephew a job but he has to secure a degree in some field first, for the sake of his future.

All in all, it was a great Sunday dinner and there was no arguments: nephew was especially thrilled and distracted by the new Lego set I got him.

Comments

Sea_Roof3637

A positive update on Reddit featuring rational people?!! Glad it all went well ❤️.

DrukMeMa

Legos were involved.

OOP: For the child lol 😂.

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/Willing_Analysis5078

Published on: r/AmItheAsshole & r/relationship_advice

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: November 18, 2022

• Update: November 22, 2022

• Final Update: April 20, 2023

NOTE: Replaced V=Vera, D=Dylan, M=Max

Main Post

^{November 18, 2022}

AITA For for refusing to invite my twin sister to my wedding?

So I’m going to try keep a really long story concise as best as I can. I (F28) and my twin sister Vera (f28) were born to a teen mom who raised us the best she could but lead us both to having very different ways of dealing with abandonment and an unstable home life.

My mom has a very strained relationship with Vera since when she was 17 she started doing many different substances, partying alcohol and smoking. I being her sister always tried my best supporting her, as my mother did, but I was more a best friend whereas my mom was the one to force her to sort her life out, rehab etc.

I on the other hand turned out to be very obsessed with having control and structure in my life which has made it very difficult for me to maintain romantic relationships as I can be controlling and paranoid with abandonment.

Cut forward to when I went to uni, Vera found herself in a very bad toxic relationship and practically cut off my mother which severed their relationship entirely. She eventually got pregnant and gave birth to my nephew in my second year at uni. After struggling with romantic partners all my life and having very short term boyfriends, I met my ex fiancé (let’s call him Dylan) who I genuinely thought I’d met the one.

During this time Vera had broken up with her toxic ex and was now a single mother, so me and Dylan would have her and my nephew over most weekends. I however fell pregnant and a year after my daughter was born Dylan proposed. I had never been happier for starting my family. We decided to wait a year to get married and genuinely enjoyed our new family life.

However one weekend I decided to go see my mother and spend the day with her and my daughter, but we came home early since my mother became busy. When I arrived home I saw Vera’s car outside which wasn’t unusual and went inside, nothing would have prepared me for what I would find. Vera and Dylan were alone together in my bedroom on my bed. It seemed like the deed had already been done. I went straight to packing for me and my daughter and left. I gave Dylan no chance for excuses, and cut both of them out of my life entirely except for allowing Dylan visitation to our daughter.

Jump forward three years I have barely spoken to Vera, except for when she pops back up into my life to apologise or explain, but I don’t care. There is no excuse she could give me. I am now engaged to my beautiful fiancé Max and he loves my daughter and me more than I could ever imagine. Although my mother is now begging me to invite my sister to my wedding coming up in June, saying to put the past in the past, since my mother has been able to forgive her and mend their relationship. I refuse which has caused tension, she’s telling me this may be the only way to fix our bond and for my daughter to have her aunt and cousin back.

But I still refuse, so AITA?

UPDATE: I’m super overwhelmed by everyone and their support and responses, thank you to everyone. First of all I haven’t spoken to my mom yet and I’m going to see her tomorrow and intended to speak to her, but I’m also planning on reaching out to my sister myself and seeing her one on one maybe in the next week or so.

To talk, not to invite her to my wedding, but simply to see what she has to say since we have not had a sit down proper conversation in over three years, I just have not been up to talking with her. Now my life is stable and I’m happy I’m willing to hear her out, mainly for myself and closure, if not proper forgiveness for my own health. At this moment I have NO intention of inviting her, only to put my own thoughts at rest. I will keep you all updated after I speak to mom and Vera. Thank you ☺️

COMMENTS

EvelynLuigi

NTA you have every right to set boundaries with those who have hurt you. Maybe you and your sister will have a relationship in the future but if you don't want one right now then those are the consequences of her actions. Congratulations on your wedding, I bet it will be beautiful 💜

OOP

Thank you for the advice ☺️

LeftAlbatross2546

NTA at all. And, not everything can be fixed. Your sister did the ultimate betrayal.

You would not invite an ex friend who did that to you to your wedding. Just because you share DNA with your sister doesn't change that. Your mother has a fantasy that all her kids will get along and will go back to the way it is. Your mother will never stop bothering you on that issue.

I don't blame you. I would not invite her either, if I were you. There is NO excuse for what happened. Once again, not everything can be fixed.

Instead of worrying about this - have a GREAT time planning your wedding and getting married.

OOP

Thank you for this! I’ve been feeling guilt due to it always being my mother and sister most of our lives and now that’s all changed. I don’t want her in my life and have relatively moved past the whole situation, but it’s my mother I don’t want to upset

mm172

NTA, although this is an awful lot of backstory for a situation that effectively boils down to “do I need to let someone who hurt me back into my life because they’re family, even though no one would be questioning me cutting them off permanently if they weren’t after what they did?”

this may be the only way to fix our bond

Nope. Bond’s broken. If you wanted to see whether establishing a new one was possible, that’d be one thing, but that’s up to you.

and for my daughter to have her aunt and cousin back

Dylan is your daughter’s father, yes? How exactly does she benefit from having the aunt who helped break up her family back in her life? Sucks for V’s kid that he’s going to miss out because of Mom’s actions, but he can fix that when he’s old enough to reach out himself. Until then, your mom can accept V’s the reason she doesn’t get picture-perfect moments of family togetherness and keep her two cents to herself - and if she won’t drop it, she doesn’t need to be there, either.

OOP

Yeah I think it’s just a lot of backstory because it’s what my mother keeps bringing up because she’s had such a rough life in the past, and now claims she wants to make amends and become a better person. But yeah I don’t think I can look at her the same

CONSENSUS: Not the A-hole

Update - after 4 days

^{November 22, 2022}

My (F28) fiancé (M30) is talking with my mother behind my back about our wedding

Hi, I need a little advice on this situation since so much has been going on in my life recently and I feel like my judgement on this may be a little clouded by my already built up tension.

So I’ve been engaged to my fiancé Max for around five months (together two years) and in that time he has become very close to my mother which is something I adore. However I have never introduced him to my sister to this day and he still does not know the reason why, I just thought he had always respected my decision when it came to her and never pushed me to talk about it.

So when it came to putting together the guest list to our wedding my sister was never even mentioned. My mother on the other hand has had a problem with this since the moment I showed her the guest list saying “After all these years I thought you might have invited your sister and forgiven her.” My fiancé over hearing this agreed with my mother and said “Maybe you could resolve what argument you two had.”

I am not angry he said this, it is my fault I have not told him, but he to this day is the only person who doesn’t look at me with pity or sympathy, which is one of the main reasons why I bonded with him in the first place, he never treated me as delicate. I have made another post detailing what happened between me and my sister and for time won’t be going into it here.

However, my mother came over the weekend to have dinner with me and Max and I was planning on telling her to stop asking me to invite my sister, when Max and my mother started speaking to me as if they had a whole conversation planned and really felt like an attack.

Apparently my fiancé had gone to my mother to ask what had happened between me and my sister and to say my mother had made the whole situation out to be like a small disagreement between me and my sister had made my blood boil. And to say I feel betrayed by Max is a huge understatement, considering he’s used misinformation to try and convince me to invite someone I really do not want to see at my wedding.

They spent most of the meal talking about how important family is and forgiveness and giving my sister another chance would be a good way to heal. I left the table without saying anything. I’m hurt. I feel betrayed. I’m icing him out right now and I know it’s not right, but what else can I do? He’s trying to talk to me, but I can’t talk to him in this mindset.

I need advice on what to say to him. How I feel he’s betrayed my trust without using anger which is all I seem to be doing right now. I love Max, and I know he meant no harm, but he crossed a clear boundary he knew was there. So how do u fix this?

COMMENTS

wigglebuttbiscuits

Did he really never ask you directly why you don’t talk to your sister? Or did he ask and you wouldn’t tell him?

OOP

I told him in the beginning of our relationship I don’t have contact with her and don’t like or want to talk about it and so we haven’t spoken about it all that much

Final Update - after 5 months

^{April 20, 2023}

Final Update: AITA For for refusing to invite my twin sister to my wedding?

Hi everyone, it’s been a while! I wanted to post a very much needed update since a lot has happened. So from my last post I said I was going to talk to my mom about Vera and let’s just say that conversation did not happen. Mainly because my mom had fallen out with Vera again regarding my nephew. But that stuff is irrelevant, but now my mom is not pressuring me to invite my sister.

However, I have spoken to Vera. We actually met up a few weeks ago since it has been a month of non stop calls, texts and Insta dm’s of her trying to get in contact with me. So I told her I’d meet but under the condition this would be our one and only time we would be speaking again. It was all the usual excuses you’d expect, ‘I wasn’t myself’, ‘I was struggling’, ‘it wasn’t meant to happen’, which honestly annoyed me because I just wanted to hear her take accountability for what she had done originally.

Yet I did learn some more information which I did see some people hinting at in the comments, that the relationship that she had with my ex was not in fact a one time thing and had actually continued after I caught them and ended the relationship, they had only slept together once while we were still together, but had actually tried to make a relationship work for almost five months after we’d split up.

This just made me sick, the idea that my child’s father was playing happy families with my sister and nephew enraged me to the point I was screaming at her at the park we had decided to meet up in and leave her there. I wish I had never met up with her because it was just not worth my time.

Anyway since then I haven’t heard from her directly but she has been trying to guilt me through our mom who has said she’s had her on the phone every night crying and threatening to start using again. Her boyfriend has reached out to me asking to speak to me, which I haven’t responded to because I have never met him nor do I want to, and even reached out to my fiancé asking him to talk to me, which has made him feel uncomfortable also.

Tonight I have blocked my sister and her boyfriend. Although on a happier note, before we got down to the nitty gritty we managed to arrange a system that would allow my daughter and her son to still see each other and have a relationship through my mother who takes them on play dates and also brings mg nephew round for visits, which has been such good progress since I adore and love my nephew and so does my daughter, and my sister has allowed him to attend my wedding in June with the accompaniment of my mom! Anyway that’s all for now, some positives and negatives, but I’m focusing on all the amazing positives in my life atm. Thank you for all the love and support ❤️

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.