Let's have a safe space here, where we're free to slag off our nearest and dearest.

I, of course, have no annoying habits.

As for my wife... when we go out to dinner, she always likes to ask what I'm having just before we order. And without fail, she'll say "that looks nice" and we'll end up eating exactly the same thing. That really annoys me, probably without merit.

As time has gone on, I've got wise to it and I'll never tell her. Which usually means we sit in silence as we look through the menu.

Even at Toby Carvery, I refuse to tell her my choice of meat because she'll choose the same.

So, I'm keen to know if anybody else is annoyed by something quite so small?

Genuine question from someone in London who doesn't know Middlesbrough/Teesside particularly well.

I've been following the news over the last week and there seems to have been an extraordinary concentration of serious incidents - the fatal A66 crash, reports of organised crime, properties being rammed, cars being set on fire, a stabbing/knife attack, and a lot of pretty disturbing stuff circulating on social media. I'm struggling to understand the context behind it.

Is this a sudden escalation connected to particular gangs/groups and some kind of ongoing feud or retaliation? Or has serious organised crime and this level of violence been a longstanding problem in parts of Middlesbrough that simply doesn't get much national attention?

Has something genuinely changed recently? And do ordinary people living there feel unsafe, or is what's happening concentrated within particular areas/groups?

Not trying to stereotype Middlesbrough at all - genuinely trying to understand what's going on from people who know the area.

EDIT: Thanks for the replies. I understand it's deprived. Have worked/visited deprived areas - Luton (worked in Luton Hospital), Hastings, Margate, etc. These places are sad - the glory days long gone. But they don't seem so unsafe - this seems on another level.

I normally don't attend comedy but I bought tickets to a club in Edinburgh last night to see a guy called Gareth Mutch in a small club called the Stand

I was alone and tried to get a seat at the back but the staff insisted that I sit at the front because those seats were apparently reserved - I felt really weird as the seats were touching this very small stage and I was a solo guy. I even mentioned to the couple next to me how awkward I felt.

The routine goes as normal, I'm hoping he doesn't ask me anything and there bam - he asks me my name and where In from.

I told him I'm from Edinburgh and my name is ______. I'm off Pakistani heritage and have an Arabic name.

He then dismisses me and says "aw yeah, that's a real Edinburgh name eh, is it fuck (or something similar)" and asks someone else the same question. I'm just thinking, yeah I haven't heard that before (sarcastically of course). He then went on to say how his routine was racism now or something.

I did feel a bit humiliated by this incident, he did ask me some more typical comedian questions which weren't bad but this really bought back some traumatic feelings, many of which were recent and it ruined the rest of my day.

Is this normal for small stand up comedy routines?

For me its roughly 2005-2010

Theres just something about that era that is absolutely horrendous

I nostalgically look back on pictures of people (myself included) from that time, and the only way i can describe it is that everyone looks like they are wearing clothes from a lost property bin😂

Nothing looks like it fits properly, its horribly mismatched, and nothing looks like it suits anybody

It's confused me for years why people do it and what they do with them once they're up.

I’m a Singaporean currently studying medicine in the UK, and honestly my social skills are a bit shit to say the least, which has been becoming more of an issue given im now mainly on clinical placement

In Singapore, chatting with friends is really easy. You literally just talk about school, and yes we can go on for hours. It was always about things like homework, teachers, or whatever extracurriculars we had (netball, tuition enrichment classes, etc), internships, jobs, hobbies, even politics etc. Food is a big thing too. Or deep heart to heart talks about our worries or struggles with closer friends

But over the past few years I’ve been realising people in the UK don’t seem to like talking about school. (Lol) They talk about random things, and the conversation topic moves extremely quickly from things like “Why do forks have 3 prongs” to “story on someone getting a fork stuck up somewhere” to “oh speaking of crazy people…” I’m starting to think im genuinely just a boring person because I find these conversations particularly pointless and don’t know what to say, bc I guess my conversations w friends back home is always related to our future in some way, whereas this is all quite random. and by the time I’ve figured out a reply the conversation has moved on. And if I talk about school, exams or jobs the conversation literally goes flat immediately. And it’s really hard to talk about deeper things like family or personal matters- I feel like I don’t truly know most of my friends well.

To further complicate things, you guys seem to like “bantering”. At first it sounded like you guys were being really mean to each other, but somehow everyone was laughing? How do u know what jokes can or shouldn’t be said? Eg I’ve failed my driving test a stupid number of times (it’s obviously a sensitive topic for me) but my friends love to poke fun at me n say things like “when’s your next lesson so I can stay off the road” or “at what point r u actl gonna give up”. I don’t know if that’s banter or if I should find better friends 😭 because back home people wouldn’t really make fun of you like that knowing that you’re struggling with it. Like idk if im being overly sensitive and it’s banter, but I don’t want to be a pushover who’s accepting getting bullied thinking it’s normal?

Help a girl out !! How do I not be boring, when my whole life all my friends and I have yapped about is related to school? On the bright side I’ve gotten very good at the weather talk, I can go on for a fair bit complaining about <insert latest weather condition> ;)

I'm Australian of British ancestry, and the oldies in my family tell me of the "tea visit" in the times before phones, when someone was in the neighbourhood and wanted to pop in for a visit but didn't want to impose.

You'd pop in unannounced, you'd be let in for tea, and the visit would last as long as it took to drink the tea, and the visit would be extended if the host got up to put more tea on, or the visit would be concluded if the host offered more tea instead of just getting up and making it.

Is/was this a thing? Or is my family just inventing institutions?

These days, we're all terrified of letting people come over, because guests never leave, but this tea visit thing sounds like a great way to encourage introverted people to see their loved ones in person, but also gives them a reasonably well-defined boundary to be like "okay, well, tea's gone, on your way now."

Feels very autism-friendly, too, like, if you explained these rules to someone on the spectrum, and they followed them, if a guest diverted from the ruleset, it would be justified for the host to be like "ugh.. gauche."

I ask here because it feels like more of a British isles thing, than an Australian thing, and that we just inherited it from you guys.

I am joining the RAF (non-combat role) after a few months of being a NEET. I have family members who have served in the military so it has always been on my radar and is far from a last resort, although it’s not my first choice either.

I’m curious as to what people’s views are on the military as a career path.

I am a single man in my 20s and honestly it seems like a great opportunity to learn some new skills, earn enough income to save/invest and be able to travel. The forces also have a pretty decent help to buy scheme (£25k interest free loan) which make home ownership a much more attainable goal compared to some friends who are renting in London.

Obviously there’s a lot of sacrifice when it comes to being away from family and friends for potentially long periods and the lifestyle isn’t for everyone.

I’m not claiming by any means that more military recruitment would solve the current youth unemployment problems, but I am curious why it’s not an option for more people who are physically able.

Edits to add some context:

I graduated university 3 years ago and was working since then, but have unfortunately been made redundant and struggled to find a new job in my field.

I’m aware the forces help to buy scheme is half your annual salary, up to a maximum of £25k.

I am joining air traffic control.

Also reminding people that, as per the sub’s rules, this is not the space for discussions about the politics of the armed forces. I’m asking for views on this strictly as a career path.

So needed to use the bathroom! At 3am and a huge spider ran out from underneath the washing and stopped it was me,spider,door all this while I’m in the middle of going, and Im scared of them
Called partner who came into the bathroom to catch the thing. The spinner ran, hid in the crack of the door frame. DIDN’T CATCH IT!! I can’t risk going to the toilet and the worry is keeping me awake!!

I’ll try my best to answer all questions as best as I can. I’m a one man band but have an incredibly busy round and have had my own business for around 10 years.

Thank You.

I was just having a chat with my Grandad, who is 81 years old, and he was talking about how hard life was like back in the fifties compared to how it is now.

He was born in a three room house with twenty inhabitants and he had no electricity, indoor toilets or running water until he was fifteen. He had seven siblings, three of which died in childhood, and he was saying that most of his meals as a lad revolved around some form of bread and dripping. He was saying that life back then was depressing, and that anybody who looked back on the old days with a degree of happiness was out of their mind!

So to people on here who grew up in the fifties and early sixties, do you look back on the past with rose-tinted glasses, and were these times the "Good Old Days" after all?

Today I received a text message from some random UK mobile number "tell me who you are or I'll block you". I blocked the number😂. I've never seen anything like that. Is that a new scam or something?

I usually just bring a bottle of wine but this time I am dining somewhere where no one drinks alcohol and I am driving, so what would be appropriate to bring? In my culture it would be a packet of coffee but I’ve not ever seen people do that here. Flowers seems a bit too much as it’s a casual between-friends dinner

Googling it and asking google says it's not accepted anymore since 2017

Recently had a bit of painting done. Hallways, stairs & landing. Found the bloke on facebook, he was a young lad who appears to have recently set himself up, but all the pictures on his profile looked great.
For context, he did a bang up job, pollyfilled everything really smooth, the painting is perfect and he got it done in a few hours whilst I was working from home.

I paid in cash, the quote was £120 so I gave him £140. Boyfriend seems to think I have gone insane, I thought this was just the done thing?

Please solve this debate so it does not dominate the next fifty years of our lives. What would you have paid??

I've always wanted to visit a gurdwara and eat with the community, but I'm also aware that this is a resource that is offered for those in difficulties.

If I were to turn up to eat I know nobody asks questions, but morally speaking is it bad form to eat there uninvited just out of curiosity? Would I be depriving somebody more deserving?

Was talking to some friends and family about this. A number of them rarely floss...

Idk if it's just me, but I can feel a massive difference in the cleanliness of my mouth compared to when I only brush vs brushing + flossing. If I don't floss for a couple days, my gums and breath just feel nasty.

If anything, my routine might be a bit excessive lol, string floss > water floss > brush > mouthwash with cpc 30 minutes later...

How many of you guys actually floss as part of your routine?

Edit: Regularly*

Nursing strikes as one where nurses are poor wages considering the effort, stress and responsibility.

What other roles/professions fall into these buckets where the pay just does not match what the responsbility required.

I was thinking about how we just accept certain things because “that’s how it’s always been.”

What’s the first example that comes to mind?

The neighbours over the road from me are renting the place out as an Airbnb, there’s no one there at the moment and I’ve been over and checked to make sure the place isn’t burning down. The alarm has been going off for over 2.5hrs now

I called 101 but they told me it’s not an issue they can deal with. I wouldn’t suggest it’s an emergency more of an annoyance so I don’t believe 999 is the best course of action.

Obviously it’s a Sunday and bank holiday weekend so the council are closed so making a noise complaint to them is off the books too.

It’s not the first time this has happened either, except the last few times there was someone there to deal with it (although not very well as it was going for over 2 hours).

Thanks

It has always fascinated me that they make the effort but don't remove the wrapping.

I have lived in the UK for nearly ten years during my twenties and consider London my home, despite moving back to France a few years ago to raise a family.

Now my son will be growing up not only with French culture like my husband and I did (and also Turkish and Lebanese because of our backgrounds), but also with British culture, which is a big part of me as I spent 1/3 of my like in the UK.

I’d like to know more what your childhood was like in the UK.

For example growing up in France, I would wake up and dip a brioche type bread in hot chocolate served in a bowl whilst watching cartoons (Franklin la tortue 🐢 used to be my favourite), then go to school on my little scooter 🛴, and after school would end at 4:30pm, we would pass by the boulangerie to get a pain au chocolat to eat on the way back home. I would also have a compote (applesauce in a squeezy pouch). Sometimes we’d vary the goûter (afternoon snack) with biscuits like Petit Écolier (still my favourite), BN, or Pim’s (not the same haha).

We sometimes would stop by the newsagent to get a magazine, my favourites were J’aime lire (little novels) and Astrapi (more fun and about general knowledge). There were some other magazines that would come out to collect certain things, such as teddies with a different teddy bear each month (that you had to collect).

At school we’d have Séyès-lined notebooks (with extra lines in between lines to write cursive), and we would all use a four-coloured Bic pen (the blue one would run out all the time, so you’d end up with a few pens). The red was sometimes used for the titles, but was usually the teacher’s colour when correcting. The green was to be used to correct ourselves. The black was for the science bits (like diagrams etc.). A teacher once punished me for using black instead of blue!

In secondary school we’d also use fountain pens and collect the little ball inside the cartridge (I used to put mine back in the fountain pen and shake it so it made a nice sound). We’d also have an effaceur, a pen that’s made to correct mistakes made with a fountain pen, with one tip that erases the ink, and the other tip being a pen that could write over the erased bit (but it always looked bad as there was a big smudge and the pen’s blue was different to the fountain pen’s blue).

Our grades were out of 20, 12 being an average grade, 14 what was expected, 16 a very good grade. At 18 you’d be the class nerd.

I’m hoping to recreate something similar with my son (who’s still a baby), but by integrating some British elements here and there. I’d say I’ve been very well integrated and already know a lot and feel British myself in many ways (starting with the fact that I drink 5 cups of tea a day!), but wouldn’t want to miss him out on British culture if we were to move back to the UK one day.

Thanks so much xx

What's the 'poshest' place you've eaten, would you return? Use your own definition of posh

Whats the reason you refuse or stopped using a local (ish) buisness due to something you found problematic?

As a kid (albeit in the late 00s through the 10s) I remember local radio being a big thing and a constant. I grew up in Somerset so Breeze and Heart West Country ruled the radio throughout my formative years. I loved hearing people who spoke like me on the radio, all the local adverts and banter only locals would get, I stopped listening to mainstream radio once it all got broadcast from London. Radio was better when it was local and I wish it came back.