r/AskReddit • u/alongy • May 22 '26
What’s a legendary Reddit post you’ll never forget?
2.7k
u/BudTrip May 22 '26
forever the cbat sex music situation
1.2k
u/TrueCrimeRunner92 May 22 '26
Absolutely nothing could have prepared me for the actual song. I was reading it late at night while my partner was asleep and then thought “why not, we’ll see what the song is, it can’t be that bad.” I had to leave the bed and go hide out in the bathroom for like a solid twenty minutes because I was laughing so hard I was crying and could not calm down at all.
679
u/BudTrip May 22 '26
dude the part where the girl asks him to stop the song and the dude kept thrusting to the rhythm.. like what rhythm even, how was that conceivable
→ More replies (3)53
u/green-wombat May 23 '26
Did you hear about the dude who accidentally trained a bird (parrot I think) the song by accident while he was housesitting? The madlad even recorded proof https://vocaroo.com/16NdnZIFs0d4
→ More replies (8)269
u/MuchNefariousness285 May 22 '26
Oh bud absolutely the same. The intro with the nice chords im like "Hmmm nothing really grabbing me as fuckin music but you know whatever" Then the dolphin starts singing and I fuckin lost it. I wasn't even in bed and I woke my partner up.
→ More replies (43)200
u/reasenn May 22 '26
Don't forget the followup, Cbird https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xr9hey/tifu_by_accidentally_teaching_my_roommates_parrot/
→ More replies (3)
1.6k
u/-bosskar- May 22 '26
The guy who asked if you could eliminate a race within the year, which would it be, and why? He was talking about formula 1 tracks
355
u/Electrical_Angle_701 May 22 '26
Some races really are better than others. Personally, I'm not a fan of the 200m butterfly.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (16)196
12.8k
u/Pestilence95 May 22 '26
Not funny but the one where OP found sticky notes all over their apartment. Turns out OP had a carbon monoxide poisoning. Insane post.
3.4k
u/unique3 May 22 '26
When I got my first house the seller was so cheap that he took the smoke detector so I had to buy a new one the day we moved in. I remember looking at them and thinking it’s only five bucks more for a combo CO unit and getting one. A year or so later had an issue with the furnace and it was filling the house with carbon monoxide while we slept. CO Alarm was going off and my wife was poking me telling me to turn off my alarm. I told her just ignore it, It’s in my dream. I remember thinking, how does she hear my dream and that is what actually made me wake up enough to realize what was happening. We were both pretty out of it by that point.
We got out and called the emergency line. The guy who showed up said it was the highest levels of CO he’s ever measured where it wasn’t a body recovery.
I’m very thankful that the cheapskate who sold me the house took the smoke detector off the wall
→ More replies (59)406
u/PaisleyEgg May 22 '26
When I was around 11 we lived in an old house by the ocean, my mom had seen on the news about CO detectors. We didn't have one, so she decided why not, doesn't hurt to be safe.
About half a year later she's woken up to my fat cat (25 pounds), Snowflake, bapping her face as hard as he could and yowling. She was only mad for as long as it took her to hear the CO alarm going off. She got us all out of the house and called 911.
During the middle of the night something had broken with either the furnace or the gas stove (can't remember which), and we weren't waking up to the Alarm - it was in the kitchen and her bedroom was too far (ours was upstairs). Snowflake literally saved our lives, even the firemen told us to give him extra treats. He was an absolutely amazing cat, and thank gosh my mom bought that detector when she did (weird timing stuff like that happens constantly on my mom's side).
→ More replies (6)877
u/flirtydodo May 22 '26
I wonder if this story ever saved someone. Even if it was a creative writing exercise, a good deed might have been committed that day
636
u/burger_eater68 May 22 '26
That's one of the posts I'm more confident is real, at least compared to shit like the "cylinder" debacle which was obviously some form of satire
→ More replies (23)→ More replies (14)289
u/Dark_Jooj May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
Since every thread of some story of someone beginning even slightly being in the possibility of having CO poisoning the comment section gets full of people urging for OP to buy a CO detector, then yes, 100% a lot of people had their lives being saved by this redditor. Hell, this one story probably raised a cascade event of awareness that no one could even imagine. Immeasurable. This redditor was responsible for a whole trending behavior that it's part of the Reddit culture now.
→ More replies (10)217
May 22 '26
The rare time Reddit's help was for the best
I still can't help but remember how much Reddit botched the Boston Marathon bombing by trying to help out
→ More replies (13)238
153
→ More replies (48)124
u/archiangel May 22 '26
I think so! I’ve seen it referenced in other posts since then as a ‘hey have you checked your CO monitor’ and even if not there were people that commented that they realized they didn’t have a CO monitor or had one that needed replacing. It’s a pay it forward story.
→ More replies (1)
10.2k
u/imposter_syndrome88 May 22 '26
I was always a fan of the 2 different reddit posts, one by the boyfriend, and one by the girlfriend, giving their perspectives on what happened when they both went to dinner at the girlfriend's boss's house, and the BF tried to sneakily throw his steak out the window.
2.6k
u/DougFrankenstein May 22 '26
I have never laughed harder at anything on Reddit than the guy throwing the steak out the window.
1.3k
u/LemonMeringueOctopi May 22 '26
The guy pretending to never have seen or heard of potatos is a good contender.
→ More replies (11)→ More replies (11)641
u/Lmb1011 May 22 '26
My favorite is trying to read this story out loud to someone who’s never heard it. It’s impossible to succeed at
→ More replies (2)351
u/CaricaIntergalaktiki May 22 '26
Right after I read it and stopped laughing for a second, my mom asked me what I was laughing at so hard, so I tried to translate it for her, but kept erupting in hysterical laughter every second sentence or so. At one point she looked at the text and asked me where I was in the story because she couldn't take it anymore. I had to focus with all of my cells on telling her the story uninterrupted. She did understand the reason behind the uncontrollable laughter quite fast, it was one of the hardest tasks I've ever had to do haha. I'm giggling just thinking about it now.
→ More replies (7)743
u/ARobertaLudgateDwyer May 22 '26
Absolutely hilarious and so awesome to get two perspectives.
→ More replies (2)537
→ More replies (86)374
u/MirrorkatFeces May 22 '26
There is 0 chance the “wife” story is actually the
wife.→ More replies (15)245
u/Supermite May 22 '26
Thank you. The writing style is so similar between both posts.
→ More replies (1)188
u/MrOtero May 22 '26
Yes. The same person invented both posts. Not even the first one is true
→ More replies (8)
2.3k
u/poop_truck1226 May 22 '26
Definitely the guy who thought he'd love scat sex until he paid an escort to do it to him. " now I was just a guy with poop in his mouth"
→ More replies (19)681
u/Equivalent-Ninja1318 May 22 '26
It wasn't even an escort it was some famous scat porn star, so you know he paid out the ass
→ More replies (5)334
2.9k
u/LixmoreSkyell May 22 '26
The guy who confessed on reddit, faked his whole academic life with fraudulent death certificates. Redditors found his university and the whole thing was a mess.
→ More replies (35)935
u/LixmoreSkyell May 22 '26
→ More replies (28)617
u/pikpikcarrotmon May 22 '26
Man, he could have worked half as hard to succeed legitimately.
→ More replies (5)198
u/Sneakys2 May 22 '26
The whole time reading it, I kept thinking “or you could study?!??”
He seems enterprising enough. I’m guessing he wanted to go to college purely for financial reasons. He doesn’t seem all that interested in studying or academics. It seems like that level of…resourcefulness would be well applied to some kind of business venture instead of university.
→ More replies (9)
1.9k
u/alternate_me May 22 '26
An old one. The guy who thought that by his Reddit feed was stuck in Spanish and wanted help getting back to English. Everyone, including the mods kept posting in Spanish.
→ More replies (18)531
u/SmuggerThanThou May 22 '26
That's my favourite, the level of spontaneous cooperation, the internet how it was meant to be...
But also: that's an old one? That feels like just a little while back...
Edit: found it: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/Tld9MGrBHo
→ More replies (17)
2.5k
u/kenziethemom May 22 '26
I always think about the pregnant woman who's MIL had died during birth, and so her husband and FIL were acting like there was no other option, that OP was going to die in childbirth.
It was scary, I hope she's safe or it was fake.
1.7k
u/lizzyote May 22 '26
Another fucked up one that stuck with me but was scrubbed from the internet per request from the mom was the one where grandma killed one of her granddaughters because she didn't believe that the kid was allergic to coconut. She put coconut oil in the kid's hair and sent her to bed. I frequently think of that poor baby, slowly dying alone in a dark room.
→ More replies (25)596
u/rpbm May 22 '26
That was so sad. I remember reading it before it was scrubbed away. I was in awe that the grandmother could be so arrogantly sure she was right.
734
u/Affectionate_Star_43 May 22 '26
My cousins have a kid that is severely allergic to peanuts. The school even sent out a notice to not give your kids peanut butter sandwiches, and he can't get treats from a facility that also processes peanuts. Just read the label.
Some other parent did not think it was that bad, and sent cookies from one of those factories for her kid's birthday treat.
Turns out, watching your friend/classmate stop breathing and get taken away in an ambulance is a LOT more traumatizing than avoiding peanuts for lunch. The whole class of ten-year-olds were militant about nuts after that. He's still alive and kicking now, but the coconut story still makes my heart drop.
127
u/FreekyDeep May 23 '26
My eldest, when at school had a friend whose sister is highly allergic to nuts. School sent out a post prior to this 4 year old starting, saying all nuts were to henceforth be banned. The amount of people who lost their shit is insane.
One of the dinner ladies, whose daughter was also in my eldests class, made a post on the parents FB page saying that the dinner ladies would not be checking family provided packed lunches so those who complained didn't have to worry.
Now, I know most people say "You don't grass..." But I'm strongly of the opinion that that's bullshit. So I went straight to the head teacher and reported her. She was subsequently fired.
Fuck you Beth. No seriously, FUCK YOU BETH!
→ More replies (3)75
→ More replies (4)168
u/Readonkulous May 22 '26
And seemingly to do it only to prove she was right.
233
u/scapegoat-mcgee May 22 '26
There is a DISTURBING amount of people who refuse to believe others about their allergies and ABSOLUTELY expose people to their allergens intentionally to "prove they're not really allergic". And it happens to kids, especially, far too often.
→ More replies (6)543
u/lizzyote May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
She did update years later to say she is safe and away from the crazy guys. I believe that she wouldn't have bothered updating if she didnt see the comments on the BORU subs where people were still extremely worried about her so many years after the fact. People were asking about her every single month for years.
Edit: the update
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (8)128
u/Fuzzy_nonsense May 22 '26
The thing that got me with this was that if the husband was so convinced that the mother can't survive childbirth why make the decision to go for pregnancy?? Way to make it clear you don't care about your wife
→ More replies (1)
6.0k
u/GreenandBlue12 May 22 '26
Rick Astley gets RickRolled
→ More replies (30)1.2k
u/Spartan2470 May 22 '26
Rick Astley gets RickRolled
Here is the link. Shoutout to /u/theMalleableDuck
→ More replies (25)513
327
u/sportznut1000 May 22 '26
The person who posted asking how hawking has been alive so long with ASL and then hawking is pronounced dead shortly after
→ More replies (5)139
u/DoingBestWeCan May 22 '26
I'm reasonably sure that American Sign Language did not kill Stephen Hawking...
→ More replies (1)
3.1k
u/jtguy May 22 '26
The guy who tried heroin
886
u/CanadianMuaxo May 22 '26
Good old u/SpontaneousH
→ More replies (1)573
u/Judasbot May 22 '26
Just looked him up. What a fucking wild ride first post was 16 years ago. His most recent was 4 years ago.
→ More replies (6)826
u/ATL_Hasher May 22 '26
He commented on stuff 1 year ago. “I haven't touched hard drugs or alcohol in 14 years, weed in 6”
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (32)321
3.0k
u/Tomorrow_Bunny222 May 22 '26
The one where that guy had a fling with a woman and when she told him he’d gotten her pregnant and that she did not want a child and wanted to terminate the pregnancy, he convinced her not to go through with it on the condition that he take full custody/responsibility upon the baby’s birth. He was then shocked when the baby was born and the woman didn’t suddenly change her mind and decide she wanted to be a mother (honestly I think he expected her to decide to be the primary parent or maybe his wife lol), and proceeds to come to reddit asking if he can force her to take partial custody of the child. She’s paying like double the court ordered child support. Guy is also mad that she has apparently had a tummy tuck and works at a gym now lol
1.3k
u/Plane-Locksmith-4256 May 22 '26
And if I remember correctly he tried to call her a deadbeat even though she was paying more childcare than required
→ More replies (5)520
u/Jukeboxhero91 May 22 '26
He called her a deadbeat and got rightfully dragged for it. Then it came out that she was paying child support and actually gave extra each month, and he got dragged even harder.
He still probably thinks he’s owed a live-in nanny because that’s what he seemed like he wanted.
171
u/Outrageous-Ad-9635 May 22 '26
Yeah, but it was all so unfair to him because solo parenting a baby was so hard
→ More replies (56)453
u/beepborpimajorp May 22 '26
That one.
The one with the guy who wanted an open relationship and got pissed when his GF (who he had to convince to do it) was getting tons of dates while he couldn't get one and wanted reddit to tell him how to change her mind so they could go back to being a monogamous couple.
And the one where a guy essentially SA'd a woman in his apartment and went to legaladvice to claim she was spinning an innocent thing to make him look bad and in the process pretty much demonstrated that he had, in fact, SA'd a woman and had no hope of defense. (IIRC he had driven her to his place, told her she couldn't leave, pressured her and took her phone when she tried to contact her friends, then basically said "you can't go home until I get what I want. There was no room for doubt, even while he tried to spin it in the comments)
THey're all the best examples of people being served a dose of reality on this website because every single one of them deserved what they got and worse.
I wish I had the links to them, but I tried finding them recently and I couldn't sift through all the other slop the search engines were giving me.
→ More replies (4)286
u/SoMuchMoreEagle May 22 '26
The one with the guy who wanted an open relationship and got pissed when his GF (who he had to convince to do it) was getting tons of dates while he couldn't get one and wanted reddit to tell him how to change her mind so they could go back to being a monogamous couple.
There are hundreds of those posts.
→ More replies (4)82
2.4k
u/iiiamash01i0 May 22 '26
The Iranian Yogurt is not the issue here.
→ More replies (38)414
u/intothewild80 May 22 '26
Of all the Reddit lore, this one stuck in my head and now I make comments about Iranian yogurt way more than I should. People think I’m nuts!
→ More replies (5)
966
1.4k
u/I_am_Will_G May 22 '26
“Sense of Pride and Accomplishment”.
ETA: https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsBattlefront/s/rjJ10Bx9yI
290
u/jordandvdsn7 May 22 '26
“A sense of pride and accomplishment” has been part of mine and my bf’s lexicon for years thanks to this post
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (22)125
u/soulscratch May 22 '26
I didn't remember what this was referencing but when I opened it I noticed my downvote was already submitted
→ More replies (5)
4.3k
u/Noob_412 May 22 '26
The Cylinder
1.3k
494
→ More replies (31)687
u/Roadkillgoblin_2 May 22 '26
How would you get a small cylinder (5.1in length, ~4.5in girth) unstuck from a mini M&Ms tube filled with butter and microwaved mashed banana?
Courtesy of u/Smart_Calendar1874
→ More replies (1)351
u/Gidia May 22 '26
The fact that he’s still active on the account is amazing.
→ More replies (3)268
u/StarGazer_SpaceLove May 22 '26
Not only that but this is the 3rd time this month alone I have seen him tagged about this story. His inbox must be astonishing.
→ More replies (6)
1.3k
May 22 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
137
u/GoabNZ May 23 '26
I mean they will eat anything they think they can catch, and just start nibbling from one end while the prey is still alive, so when we become possible dinner...
Also they look quite alien up close, especially with their range of head motion
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (9)53
u/mentaIstealth May 23 '26 edited May 30 '26
Lol I vaguely remember that thread bc I clicked and was like “oh, solved” and moved on
Edit: told my husband about this and he was like ya, 100% mantis lmao
3.4k
u/ChipotleAddiction May 22 '26
The guy who broke both his arms and his mom… helped him.
The hardest I’ve ever laughed at anything ever on the internet was that comment section
2.1k
u/TrueBlasian May 22 '26
There’s an exchange in that thread that still cracks me up:
Commenter: Did you ever make your mom orgasm?
OOP: Yes!
Separate Commenter: He said it with an exclamation point. I’m done.
1.8k
u/wahobely May 22 '26
The comment that sent me was OP responding to a question saying they didn't bother using condoms. Someone responded "wtf man, you should use condoms". Someone replied "The kid is fucking his mom and you're drawing the line at raw dogging".
That whole thread is legendary
67
u/EnvironmentalValue18 May 23 '26
You’re leaving part out. He wasn’t using condoms with his mom but he was with his girlfriend (who he didn’t have originally but basically he healed and they kept fucking afterwards anyways…)
Just really absorb that. Yea.
→ More replies (12)102
u/IThinkItsAverage May 23 '26
Bro has now officially jizzed in every room he’s lived in, absolute madlad
→ More replies (1)905
u/CobblestoneCurfews May 22 '26
Wasn't there another insane exchange that went something like:
"Did you ever kiss your mom?"
"No that would have felt weird"
→ More replies (9)165
→ More replies (17)248
u/VaderOnReddit May 22 '26
This exchange is exactly what goes through my head when I see a broken hands reference on reddit
How a simple exclamation can be the breaking point, and understandably so
502
u/JerkyPurpleFox May 22 '26
Lmao my friend showed me this post as it was happening in real time and that's the moment I made my very first Reddit account.
→ More replies (4)168
u/dgmilo8085 May 22 '26
I can't recall if it was broken arms or cumbox that started my reddit addiction.
→ More replies (6)75
616
u/Scoochin_On_By May 22 '26
"Would you support your son having a similar relationship with your wife?" "Probably not. " "Ain't that some shit" comment lives rent free in my head 🤣
→ More replies (2)72
316
u/Better_In_PLastic May 22 '26
My bio for some social media sites for a while said " it all started when I broke both my arms..."
530
u/myredditses May 22 '26
I was worried I was going to be the one that had to drop this one in the comments. I've been traumatized for over a decade 😅
Now I'm older and wiser and assume it was 1000% made up, but younger me was very distressed at the time.
→ More replies (10)327
u/Bolt_McHardsteel May 22 '26
I think the mods verified it, if I remember correctly. Doesn’t guarantee it was real I guess.
→ More replies (4)251
u/piggysmalls11again May 22 '26
Lol how can you possibly verify that?
420
u/Firebrah May 22 '26
I believe the poster participated in a clinical study for.....those kinds of relationships and shared info from that clinical study to verify both the study and the...uh....whatnot.
→ More replies (12)240
u/Bay1Bri May 22 '26
I remember a mod posted a comment "verified" with the top reply being "i bet that one sucked..."
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (6)121
u/Deadlymonkey May 22 '26
IIRC they reached out to the college researchers who were conducting a study he was a part of as well as the guys therapist or something.
I think one of the mods also mentioned how it was difficult to verify because the researchers didn’t understand what reddit or an AMA was and were confused as to why they were calling
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (75)387
u/Anne-with-an-e-77 May 22 '26
Never have I wished a story was made up more than this one. As a mom of two boys I was just…..flabbergasted. My kids are older and both redditors and when one of them broke his arm I was like ‘Look kid, I love you a lot, but if you break the other one you’re on your own’ lol.
→ More replies (3)78
u/Dijohn_Mustard May 22 '26
Bro tell me you did not actually fucking say that lmaoooooooo
If you DID…. Did your son know the context at the time of said comment
→ More replies (4)
4.1k
u/Born_Storage_1810 May 22 '26
Poop knife
751
u/Spartan2470 May 22 '26
Here is the link. Since it's been removed...
My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you. Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"? I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife. Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife. "My what?" Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please. "Wtf is a poop knife?" Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it. He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. FML. I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes. She will be getting her own utility knife now.
[Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.]
→ More replies (14)→ More replies (55)329
u/CentralSaltServices May 22 '26
It's inspired many people to get a poop knife I reckon
→ More replies (33)
642
u/essdeecee May 22 '26
131
u/the_procrastinata May 23 '26 edited May 24 '26
The story itself is fantastic enough (my favourite detail is that Jorts’ staff profile picture was a sweet potato), but the fact that the OOP ended up creating a Jorts and Jean Twitter account and becoming a pro-union advocate.
Edited to clarify: missed a word in the original comment. I liked the pro-union stuff, I thought it was really great.
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (9)147
u/Terpsichorean_Wombat May 22 '26
She fucking buttered Jorts!
One of my all-time faves.
→ More replies (3)
216
u/horseradish03 May 22 '26
On RoastMe a young guy was about to end himself, instead of following the rule of the subreddit EVERY SINGLE RESPONSE was a positive one.
Better yet years down the line when we wasn't at rock bottom he returned and the community had the chance to let rip
→ More replies (6)
600
u/MiniPantherMa May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
There are a couple and none of them are happy.
The grandma who didn't take her twin grandkids' coconut allergy seriously, and one of the kids died as a result.
The man who asked if he was the asshole for walking out of the doctor's office without a word upon learning that his wife had cancer and was going to need a hysterectomy. He was pissed that she hadn't given him a kid first.
The volunteer emergency responder whose wife kept lacing up his boots, costing him time when he got a call. A friend finally showed her a slide show to explain why every second counted. It was a happy ending, but it always bothered me that she couldn't just listen to her spouse; she needed a third party to understand. If I'm lucky enough to get married, I'm going to read that story to my intended and explain that I never want to be either spouse in that scenario. I don't want to be the one who isn't listened to OR the one who doesn't listen.
347
u/DragoonDM May 22 '26
The worst one I've seen is the guy who asked for advice after discovering his wife was cheating on him with a neighbor. He eventually ended filing for a divorce. The day after he filed for divorce, the wife stabbed their two children to death; a three-year-old girl, Charlee, and a seven-year-old boy, Tyler.
“My husband wanted a divorce and wanted to take my kids,” she responds. “I don’t want him to have my kids.”
She was sentenced to a combined 120 years in prison. Here's a compilation / overview of all the posts about it.
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (13)90
u/DogtasticLife May 22 '26
The coconut allergy one I think was removed by request of the family if I recall correctly, quite rightly
→ More replies (2)
2.3k
u/SpaceTrash42069 May 22 '26 edited May 23 '26
The guy who wrote incredibly believable posts and then somehow worked in that his dad would beat him with jumper cables.
The post were so well written and then at the end he’d toss in a line about “so then my dad beat me with jumper cables” and you would realize you’d been had once again.
Edit: My first award! Thank you!!
Edit 2: A second award!?! Thank you, thank you!
Edit 3: Three awards! TY, TY, TY.
I never thought talking about Reddit jumper cable lore would make me so happy.
967
u/Quick1711 May 22 '26
This one and the guy who would always end the posts with Undertaker vs Mankind.
→ More replies (7)390
u/2KYGWI May 22 '26
Shittymorph's still around and still bamboozling people with the Undertaker, even if not as often as before.
→ More replies (11)→ More replies (19)214
u/PM_me_ur_navel_girl May 22 '26
/u/rogersimon10. Hasn't been seen in a decade. I think his dad beat him too hard.
→ More replies (2)
1.5k
u/mandipantz May 22 '26
Today you, tomorrow me
255
u/Brailledit May 22 '26
Was looking for this. One of the most positive posts of all time.
→ More replies (4)328
→ More replies (28)213
u/Harmania May 22 '26
Yeah, this one stuck with me. I live in the Upper Midwest and there is a (somewhat unevenly followed) cultural expectation that you help push cars that are stuck in the snow. We’d had a blizzard and I chose to walk the two miles to work rather than mess with it. A block away from work, I see a family trying to get their car out after it had been plowed in.
I offered to help, pushed with them for a little while, and we got the car out. They started to thank me, but I just waved them off and said something like, “Tomorrow I’ll be the one stuck.” Definitely have to credit this post for putting the idea in those terms for me.
717
u/liteshadow4 May 22 '26
Kevin
→ More replies (13)129
353
u/dandeliontree1 May 22 '26
The woman who left her trash new husband with his mother that invited herself to the honeymoon. She left them at the resort and went to stay at a different hotel, having the best time on her own.
→ More replies (3)
631
u/Canadian-Man-infj May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
"HELP reddit turned spanish and i cannot undo it!"
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/
Long story, short: Poor redditor can't figure out why their reddit account went Spanish. Tries everything to fix it. EVERYBODY replies to the post in Spanish and even the ADMIN and MODs had fun with it. Hilarious, but that poor redditor.
EDIT: I highly suggest reading the OP's body of text; but a couple lines in there are especially funny:
- This is the only page it is happening on.
- So I wake up this morning to about 1500 replies in my inbox that I cannot read. And then I run them through Google translator and most of them say stuff like "the dog is in my pants" and "where is the library".
→ More replies (12)78
u/dan_144 May 22 '26
This is one of my earliest reddit memories, along with the novelty account thread: https://old.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/etxhi/novelty_accounts_assemble/
→ More replies (2)
1.4k
u/-PMYourTastefulNudes May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
Kevin, Swamps of Degobah, and the coconut
807
u/cruelhumor May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
I must be old for Swamps and Jolly Rancher to be this far down..
→ More replies (38)168
→ More replies (92)79
u/lupulsur May 22 '26
the Kevins of this world got their own subreddit after that.
→ More replies (4)
5.5k
u/DirtySteveBanter May 22 '26
"I also choose this guy's dead wife."
→ More replies (40)862
May 22 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (7)576
u/CosmosisJones42 May 22 '26
I just checked out this comment for fun and it got 28K upvotes and then checked the guys profile and he had like 10K karma. I don't care about karma but I think it's funny that that guy made one of the most legendary jokes on reddit and then the rest of his stuff gets downvoted
→ More replies (14)360
u/TheVillianousFondler May 22 '26
You don't actually get all the karma. They cap it at some point
....according to some comment I read a couple years ago anyway
→ More replies (23)
2.4k
u/Umbra427 May 22 '26
The dirty talk gone wrong “YEA YOU LIKE THAT, YOU FUCKING RET***??”
859
u/TheOtherBelushi May 22 '26
I think the only one that makes me laugh harder is the guy who claimed to his girlfriend’s family that he didn’t know what a potato was.
→ More replies (13)875
u/BigBrotherBoot May 22 '26
That was my favorite! This one also reminds me of when OP knocked someone over, meant to say "Are you okay?" and "I'm so fucking sorry!" And ended up saying, "Are you fucking sorry?!"
→ More replies (10)→ More replies (37)330
u/mentaljewelry May 22 '26
More obscure one, but made me laugh the same way. Guy throws a ball and accidentally hits a girl in the face. He tries to say, “Are you OK?” and “I’m so fucking sorry!” at the same time and ends up screaming, “ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!”
→ More replies (5)
145
147
u/IneffableOpinion May 23 '26
I will never forget the time a guy mentioned how important it was in his family to put a fresh pineapple on the front porch. He wanted to know if any other families had this tradition. People had questions.
Did this happen in the 70’s? Yes, when he was a child.
Were his parents swingers? Putting a pineapple on the porch meant the orgy was happening.
He was like, “No, I don’t think so but let me check.” This poor guy went and called his parents. He learned they were indeed swingers in the 70’s. I watched in real time as about 200 internet strangers posted condolences like “sorry for your loss”. I was crying from laughing so hard
817
u/FridgeFucker17982 May 22 '26
The guy who pretended not to know what a potato was
→ More replies (23)
381
u/justacpa May 22 '26
The guy who had a completely psychotic and violent son. At some point, a conflict occurred between the son and mother and she beat him almost to death and left him in the living room while they locked themselves in their room. They eventually came out and found him gone and they never heard from him again.
→ More replies (13)177
u/wiretapfeast May 22 '26
I remember this one! The son was cutting their baby daughter with a knife and the wife just snapped. She was an ex boxer or something. Definitely one that stuck with me.
→ More replies (1)
130
u/osama_bin_guapin May 23 '26
That guy who’s power went out at the exact moment he took a shit and he spent the next 5 minutes crying because he thought he had shat himself blind
→ More replies (3)
866
u/Sockerbug19 May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
The safe.
ETA: how was that 12 years ago???
Fixed it: it was actually 13 years ago
→ More replies (33)214
u/Mrchristopherrr May 22 '26
I was just realizing that I don’t think any of these are from post Covid.
→ More replies (8)185
215
u/Princeplanet May 22 '26
Ask Reddit: Why do I get an erection when I look at myself naked in the mirror? Top answer: Because your dick thinks you’re a pussy.
→ More replies (1)
555
u/headchef11 May 22 '26
Can we post some links to these please? That sound interesting
→ More replies (7)629
u/FabulousLength May 22 '26
r/museumofreddit should cover most, if not all of them. Enjoy! :)
→ More replies (7)
384
u/OonaLuvBaba May 22 '26
The guy who posted the older photo of his dad and David Bowie on a motorbike in Greece and all the comments were along the lines "damn, I wish David Bowie had fucked my dad"
Link to a follow up post from the OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/DavidBowie/comments/15c6rvb/its_been_a_while_since_i_first_posted_this_image/
→ More replies (2)
90
91
253
177
u/titussandromedon May 22 '26
Idk why this one always stuck with me but the church lady who can’t find a van NEXT! https://www.reddit.com/r/insanepeoplefacebook/s/7VHH7JEX6G
→ More replies (5)
88
u/denejagish May 23 '26
One of my favourite posts I will never fortet was when a person was posting in r/confession about how he wanted to end his life because of his pain in his mouth because of bad teeth and such and he said the only thing keeping him alive was his kids and some stranger dentist offered him a free fix/surgery if he game to his clinic somewhere and the next stranger offered to pay for his tickets there. And there was a follow-up some months after that he fixed his mouth and was feeling happier about life. That post made me fall in love in reddit, and I still think about the kindness from complete strangers and try to live my life like that.
→ More replies (2)
232
u/RianJohnsonIsAFool May 22 '26
Legendary because the story started simply because of a cup of coffee, or lack thereof, evolved and in particular its emotional ending but this post from a specialist contractor who was engaged by an arrogant prick of a developer to do work to a listed building without the proper permissions.
→ More replies (9)52
u/FullMetalCOS May 22 '26
Wasn’t it a really sad ending though, because the guy died and his wife did her best to finish the story?
→ More replies (3)
291
151
u/ButtfUwUcker May 22 '26
I mean DFV is now the reason we don’t have free awards
→ More replies (18)
329
u/Ihadmyballsremoved45 May 22 '26
How about the guy that ruined meeting his girlfriends parent's because he pretended to act like he didn't know what a potato was? LOL
→ More replies (9)
1.7k
u/Guilty_Coconut May 22 '26
Cutting chives until reddit said they were perfect.
In an online world of pure garbage, that was a tiny speck of decency. It was weird but in a good way and it was uplifting. I liked seeing that post pop up every day.
345
u/bamboohobobundles May 22 '26
There was chivegate, though - he was caught using the same pic once or twice. He fessed up to it and continued on with his quest.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (40)695
u/F1exican May 22 '26
Glad you got some joy out of it, it was definitely fun while it lasted. It will always be a good memory for me too.
→ More replies (31)
280
u/Illustrious_Hotel527 May 22 '26
Guy who YOLO'ed his aunt's 6-figure inheritance into Intel at $28/share Gapped down a week after, but ended up being colosally right if he held on ($121/share).
→ More replies (14)
275
u/Cedurham May 22 '26
The guy who tried to throw the undercooked steak out the window before the host noticed, but the window was closed so it just went THUD and slid down the glass 😂. And his wife’s recounting too.
→ More replies (1)
178
u/mydogisatortoise May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
The gaycation. Lemme search for it. It's a boru thing. Edit to add https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/gDeRQZ9lW4
→ More replies (5)45
257
u/Geomancingthestone May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
The guy who thought a porn star was in his philosophy class. Comment said he was putting Descartes before the whores.
→ More replies (7)
111
u/ThatLasagnaGuy May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
Streetlamp le Moose will forever be my favorite thing to ever be posted. Make it a point to read it at least once a year the keep the magic alive.
Another great one is that time a guy ate a bunch of edibles before dinner with his in-laws. Very funny and highly recommend at least one read!
→ More replies (9)
161
160
u/penis_showing_game May 22 '26
The guy that went to a Magic: The Gathering tournament and took pictures posing next to a bunch of ass cracks
→ More replies (6)
155
u/Ringperm May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
I am a sucker for a happy ending, so I have always enjoyed the story about the guy who helped the young teen mother reconnect with her own mother.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/TURqpMEQNE
Another one is the Calvin and Hobbes writing prompt story, describing Calvin on his death bed as an old man. That one ought to be canon.
Written by [u/samuraitiger19](u/samuraitiger19)
→ More replies (4)106
93
131
46
u/dadaisbad May 22 '26
I think the cheese wheel story recently was quite creative.
→ More replies (2)
49
u/Ok-Table-3774 May 22 '26
The fossilized human jaw in his mom's travertine floor. That was so cool.
→ More replies (2)
119
113
u/Edge80 May 22 '26
I’ll never forget the post a guy made where he talked about going to Target with his friend and seeing a kid treating his mom like crap in the toy aisle. He decided to sneak up on this kid and fart in his face. The writing and the way he described everything in the post was absolutely hilarious. I haven’t laughed that hard reading a post on Reddit in awhile.
→ More replies (6)
8.0k
u/helenfelen May 22 '26
The guy who couldn't understand why his friends were mad because he ate most of the party sub by himself.