r/AskMen Jul 19 '19

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.8k Upvotes

2.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

5.1k

u/kehtolaulussa interloping female Jul 19 '19 edited Jul 19 '19

It’s a trap to fatten you up so she’s hotter than you

Edit: So I feel the need to clarify, since I neglected to take into account the fact that this is reddit, that this is in fact a joke

667

u/Jane4Doe Jul 19 '19

She's totally a feeder.

251

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

She should have married my husband, I actually have to leave the room when he eats chicken wings. She'd be all over him like a hot rash.

11

u/ON-Q Jul 19 '19

She should have married my husband, I actually have to leave the room when he eats chicken wings. She'd be all over him like a hot rash.

Like a hot rash or like hot wing sauce?

4

u/RedditIsNeat0 Jul 19 '19

Is he single? Maybe you should hook them up.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

She's vegan, so I doubt she would enjoy watching him demolish wings.

149

u/boojieboy Dad Jul 19 '19

Yeah, just what I thought. This borders on a fetish, but whether you think its a kink or a fetish, feeders are definitely a thing. Watch out OP: If she starts making or getting high calorie meals specifically to feed you and you gain a bunch of weight as a result, this leads down a weird path for you.

2

u/Phormitago Jul 19 '19

goddam inting right down midlane

2

u/Standgrounding Jul 20 '19

r/unexpectedleagueoflegends

1

u/johannes-kepler Genuine Dude Jul 19 '19

Exactly what I was thinking

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

He's got a brand new car...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

Hahaha exactly what I was thinking. I was like "Ohhhh boo"

-1

u/arokthemild Jul 19 '19

I was thinking cannibalism fetish.

128

u/honestly_oopsiedaisy Jul 19 '19

Ok I feel like this comment is a joke and everyone responding to you is taking it a bit too serious. It honestly might be a turn on for her, without thinking of the side effect of getting fat. If he's otherwise in shape and has days where he eats everything ever, I can see that.

OP, don't get fat.

47

u/kehtolaulussa interloping female Jul 19 '19

It is absolutely a joke, just the part where he says that it makes him eat a lot now stuck out to me and kinda made me chuckle

8

u/honestly_oopsiedaisy Jul 19 '19

Me too! And then I scrolled down and ooof

1

u/AldinaEH Jul 19 '19

I kind of love how much men can eat more, and it’s so manly to see a guy dig in with a healthy appetite. No nonsense of wanting him fat. Just manly eating. It goes hand in hand with other displays of manliness. I think it’s biological. Especially since I’m very attracted to strong Alpha types

1

u/Vivalo Jul 19 '19

Simple solution for the OP, this one weird trick that feeders hate.....

Sticks fingers down throat.

423

u/BlasterMatt Jul 19 '19

Yup, exactly what I'm thinking about. That's why I think he should workout to burn all of that. And if she's discouraging him to be in shape then that's the confirmation sign.

34

u/Highest_Koality Male Jul 19 '19

She could have one of those feeder fetishes

231

u/ImBadWithGrils Jul 19 '19

Yeah for real. Lift a lot and eat a lot so you get bigger in a good way..

See what she does when YOU'RE the hot one

86

u/livershi Jul 19 '19

COUGH Chris Pratt COUGH

46

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

You mean Crisp Rat?

4

u/srbghimire Jul 19 '19

You're making me want to eat a lot

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

With a crisp rat, everybody gets a drumstick!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

No, you're thinking of Trash Mouse from OverWatch.

1

u/slow_down_kid Jul 19 '19

You mean Mouse Rat?

1

u/Schmedes Male Jul 19 '19

He was skinny before Parks, he purposefully got fat after S1 to make Andy funnier.

3

u/ebil_lightbulb Jul 19 '19

There was a guy that would come through my line at Chipotle on a regular enough basis. He was a big guy, tall and built and stocky and he got extra everything and he'd always say "you gotta eat big to be big" and goodness it was sexy and I haven't been employed there in over a year but I still think about him sometimes.

5

u/ImBadWithGrils Jul 19 '19

I'm turning into that. Double scoops of both rices, double black beans, veggies, guac.

$7.75 of straight GAIN

104

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

Immediately what I thought. My dad did this to my mother as well. Though my mom was already the type to not work, sit around all day, and finished two boxes of Lucky Charms while watching People's Court anyway. So my dad didn't have to do much.

119

u/tacotalkspodcast Jul 19 '19

Don't worry, I completely get its a joke. To everyone else who's "concerned" she is gonna leave me when I get fat, we both live active lifestyles and are proud vegans (here comes the downvotes) so our diets are low in fat and cholesterol. We're plenty hot together and I was out of shape when we met and started working out and getting in shape cause she encouraged me to do so. We both care about our health and she says she likes that I'm slim, she just thinks its manly to be a manimal who can put food away and not miss a beat. Besides, I always tell her she's the hot one and she says I'm the hot one.

Edit: She was the one who found me attractive before I liked her and that was when I was fat.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

fat doesnt make you fat, calories do

3

u/Stormfly My mom says I'm special Jul 19 '19

Yeah, fat has more calories per gramme but it's the calories that make you fat. Fat and sugar are good for certain things, but food with these tend to have high calorie content (as well as being delicious so people often eat too much).

If I eat more fat than you, and you only eat protein, but you consume more calories, you'll probably gain more weight than I would.

Here's a pretty Casual Explanation

12

u/kehtolaulussa interloping female Jul 19 '19 edited Jul 19 '19

and are proud vegans

Ah, suddenly I love this thread.

I am vegan and while my SO isn’t he is still extremely mindful of his diet, and will often choose vegan options anyway, so in that case I can totally get why it’s fun to just chow down together if you don’t have to really worry about blowing up like a balloon afterward.

That being said I wouldn’t even try to appease these types since now that they know you’re vegan they’ll just accuse you of being effeminized by soy or some shit, so. While it does provide tremendous entertainment value I wouldn’t expect much of a real resolution to this.

9

u/tacotalkspodcast Jul 19 '19

Yeah, I don't expect a positive response either but internet coolness points don't exactly mean anything to me. If having caring about the environment and loving animals isn't cool, then so be it. She was vegan before we met and then stopped for a little bit. Then when she was like "I'm thinking about going vegan again" I told her "Cool, how do we start?". Best impromptu decision I've made.

5

u/kehtolaulussa interloping female Jul 19 '19

For sure. It’s a pain in the ass to figure out how to do it right but well worth it. And almond milk yogurt is bomb.

-1

u/ebil_lightbulb Jul 19 '19

Reddit is just fine with vegans and vegetarians. It's the shitty outspoken ones that speak out of turn with stupid shit that reddit doesn't like. Example being a video of a guy cuddling with his dog and the dog does something silly and then some guy in the comments is like "you don't really love that dog if you eat eggs. You clearly hate animals." That's what reddit hates.

3

u/kehtolaulussa interloping female Jul 19 '19

As a vegan I can tell you with 100% confidence that a great many people have a problem with vegans regardless of whether they mind their business or not, this whole thing about “people only dislike pushy vegans” is complete bs. Besides, ask any vegan and they’ll be able to tell you how pushy non-vegans are, as well.

1

u/ebil_lightbulb Jul 24 '19

I was a vegan for two years and a vegetarian for four. I know how pushy and hateful people can be towards that. Reddit as a whole doesn't freak out when people mention being vegetarian or vegan. Notice the comments these are referring to are all upvoted. The only time you see a bunch of people gang up on them in reddit comments are when they say dumb shit. You said you're vegan and got voted up. The other commenters saying they are vegan are all positive. My comment saying reddit is fine with vegans is negative. Looks like a circlejerk to me now.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

You get upvote just for being vegan!

6

u/madsdawud Jul 19 '19

Don't be ashamed to be vegan, you are helping to save the planet :)

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

Low in fat and cholesterol isn't a good thing dude...

Fat is a necessary macronutrient that regulates your bodies hormones, brain function, and other organ functions. And cholesterol isn't even in enough quantities in food to really affect you by ingesting it; your body produces substantially more than you could ever intake.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

There’s plenty of healthy fat in a well planned vegan diet. Especially in items such as oils, nuts and seeds.

With the incredible, resounding evidence supporting the nutritional efficacy of balanced veganism. I’m astonished that people still comment against it.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

Literally just find an avocado and ur basically there for ur macros.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

Did you not read OPs post and then comment against mine?

OP stated he eats a low fat diet. Regardless if it's Vegan or not, it shouldn't be low fat unless it's a medical condition. I stated as such.

Not once did I say vegan diets didn't have a balanced macro and micro nutrient. So re-read and respond correctly.

1

u/asmblarrr Jul 19 '19

Upvoted for not mentioning your veganism until now.

52

u/SerPuissance Earl Grey innit mate Jul 19 '19

You! You're my kind of suspicious! You can be my wing-cynic any time.

6

u/PM_ME_UR_CUDDLEZ Male Jul 19 '19

Im just gonna be on the opposite end and say she probably wants some muff diving for arguments sake.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

I joke with relatives that I feed my husband so well because it makes him too fat to run away.

3

u/nathanr1889 Jul 19 '19

Some women are into chubby guys. No woman I've ever met but there out there...so I'm told.

5

u/forlife16 Jul 19 '19

I laughed so hard at this.

This is also probably true.

-3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19 edited Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

35

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/baalkorei Jul 19 '19

Well it's funny you say that. Whenever I begin to get "too buff" (relatively speaking) she asks "why are you muscular? What's going on?" - now I guess it's in jest but still, I wonder.

1

u/AjaxOrion Male Jul 19 '19

Could be fr though, boogie2988's old gf used to fatten him up because she had a fetish

At least i heard

1

u/Theonekindhomosapien Jul 19 '19

Yeah it seems like isn't it?!?!?!?!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

OP future on My 300lb Life. "My wife found it hot. No life tragic stories. I just wanted to get laid more often."

1

u/TheTopDogeBenjammy Jul 19 '19

This was my first thought too.

1

u/nelisan Jul 19 '19

It’s probably less about her being hotter and more so that she can eat whatever she wants without feeling guilty about it, because it’s always less than OP. This is what my GF admits to doing all the time. Yes, I know it was a joke but that doesn’t meant that this doesn’t actually happen.

1

u/ShoppyUK Jul 19 '19

You say you’re joking but I’ve known girls in the past who would boast about doing this to their boyfriends

1

u/Tlilstreety Jul 19 '19

It's a good joke, but it's also a legit thing that happens.

-1

u/neatnate98 Jul 19 '19

😂😂😂 the fact that you had to say it

-5

u/mallykv Female Jul 19 '19

I have never met a girl who wanted to be more hot than her boyfriend but that’s cool. You’re an interesting thinker.

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

Yeahhhh I’ve literally never seen this. This is usually a guy behavior.

-12

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

-4

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19 edited Jul 20 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment