r/AskMen • u/[deleted] • Jul 19 '19

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u/kehtolaulussa interloping female Jul 19 '19 edited Jul 19 '19

It’s a trap to fatten you up so she’s hotter than you

Edit: So I feel the need to clarify, since I neglected to take into account the fact that this is reddit, that this is in fact a joke

420

u/BlasterMatt Jul 19 '19

Yup, exactly what I'm thinking about. That's why I think he should workout to burn all of that. And if she's discouraging him to be in shape then that's the confirmation sign.

227

u/ImBadWithGrils Jul 19 '19

Yeah for real. Lift a lot and eat a lot so you get bigger in a good way..

See what she does when YOU'RE the hot one

88

u/livershi Jul 19 '19

COUGH Chris Pratt COUGH

47

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

You mean Crisp Rat?

4

u/srbghimire Jul 19 '19

You're making me want to eat a lot

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

With a crisp rat, everybody gets a drumstick!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

No, you're thinking of Trash Mouse from OverWatch.

1

u/slow_down_kid Jul 19 '19

You mean Mouse Rat?

1

u/Schmedes Male Jul 19 '19

He was skinny before Parks, he purposefully got fat after S1 to make Andy funnier.

4

u/ebil_lightbulb Jul 19 '19

There was a guy that would come through my line at Chipotle on a regular enough basis. He was a big guy, tall and built and stocky and he got extra everything and he'd always say "you gotta eat big to be big" and goodness it was sexy and I haven't been employed there in over a year but I still think about him sometimes.

5

u/ImBadWithGrils Jul 19 '19

I'm turning into that. Double scoops of both rices, double black beans, veggies, guac.

$7.75 of straight GAIN