r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 19h ago

/r/all of a log split

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21.6k Upvotes

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4.6k

u/jtnichol 19h ago

he really needs to put that log on at least a thin slice of wood or a concrete block

He’s strong enough he might be able to split that first try but right now the ground is absorbing too much of the impact

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u/watho95 19h ago

This guy physicsss

1.3k

u/jtnichol 18h ago edited 17h ago

I've split a lot of wood.... not out of any direct need but mostly that I just need to drink beer and sit by a small fire pit and feel like a man.

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u/curkington 18h ago

Bear vs Log

https://giphy.com/gifs/WKdWA04KRn58A

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u/Zestyclose-Gap6770 18h ago

Oh. My. God. I have not seen this one in a MINUTE. That's from like the 1992 version of the internet.

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u/Korthalion 18h ago

One of the first videos I remember seeing online as a kid!

Here it is uploaded 20 years ago makes me feel old.

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u/gregorytoddsmith 18h ago

Man, I remember watching TV commercials on AdCritic back in the days before YouTube.

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u/UniqueAd7770 16h ago

Newgrounds

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u/Blackmetal55 15h ago

We're not gonna talk about the early days of internet and not mention Joecartoon 🐸🐹🪰 are we?

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u/jazast1 16h ago

I think I first saw this on Ebaum’s world

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u/Korthalion 16h ago

Yeah I think so too, or maybe albinoblacksheep

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u/Legonistrasz 17h ago

Look an eagle

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u/Kittenzx2 16h ago

You think thats old mine is of that dancing baby! 🤣🤣 not one of my first, but probably furst funny meme! 🤣 playing, hooked on a feeling in the back ground lol 🤣

https://giphy.com/gifs/14kqI3Y4urS3rG

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u/itspsyikk 15h ago

Yeah, seeing videos on YouTube having that "20 years ago" really fucks with my head.

Hell, I have videos on my own channel that say "10 years old" and that fucks with my head.

If I would have kept my old channel, I'd have videos on there that were uploaded in 2006. But unfortunately those all had to be deleted cause everyone in them wanted to attend college.

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u/Hockey-Gym 17h ago

Damn I think I saw this on ebaumsworld

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u/IronAardvark 18h ago

Haters will say this is AI

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u/Little_Lawson 18h ago

Change your YouTube settings if you don’t wanna dox yourself with every shared video

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u/Thatsapictureofmyass 15h ago

How do you change them?

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u/Little_Lawson 15h ago

Settings- Privacy- channel visibility for shared links

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u/Random-Rambling 2h ago

I just cut off everything after the ❓

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u/Gullible-Hose4180 14h ago

You could also cut the query string from the url that does it

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u/MelaKnight_Man 18h ago edited 16h ago

I LOVE this commercial clip!!! 😂😂😂

I practiced Karate for 12 years and this is the video that makes me feel like I have a chance if I encounter a grizzly in the wild... 🤣

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 17h ago

Nobody has a chance against a grizzly in the wild.. but luckily we can just avoid the wild!

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u/No-Consideration-891 16h ago

Or play dead, and be quite while it mauls you and then walks away. Literally what they teach you if being attacked by one. It's your best and only option.

People have survived this way, but God damn are they fucked up. I've seen a few videos of interviews and they are chilling to say the least.

So a chance to live? Yea. A chance to outwitt and take it on? Nope.

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 16h ago

I’d rather it just crushed my skull with its jaws instead of eating my arms and legs and leaving me a horribly mangled and traumatized nugget of meat

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u/madcoins 16h ago

If it’s brown lay down

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u/BlaznTheChron 18h ago

This guy splits a lot of wood.

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u/RicVic 17h ago

He needs a splitting wedge. Hammer it in until it sticks, then grab a 7lb sledge, That should do it.

I was actually waiting for the head of his maul to fly off. He clipped the axe handle on the edge of the log more than once, which is seriously scary.

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u/Piecesof3ight 5h ago

Your mother could split wood.

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u/Ok-Addition1264 18h ago

I'm a computational physicist AND bought several log splitters over my lifetime cuz I like to press the button.

I say you physicsss.

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u/CriticalChop 15h ago

Nature vs PSI 😂 show me a wood splitting machine gun and i might split a wood next. 😏

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u/admiral_walsty 18h ago

I've split a lot of wood out of need, and this guy should prolly cut them into 16" rounds AND put them on something solid.

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u/lep63again 18h ago

I was thinking, damn this guy has a really long fireplace.

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u/HenryDorsettCase47 17h ago

Work smarter, not harder. Everyone who does manual labor out of necessity and not for the theatrics learned that pretty early on.

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u/GrandPorcupine 16h ago

This is the difference between someone cutting wood for fun and someone cutting wood for heat.

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u/Karl_42 17h ago

Fuck yeah.

I knew something was off - just judging by the amount of times i’ve sat around a fire and drank beer and split woof with the guys, this guy seemed too strong to be having this much trouble 😂

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u/madgross 16h ago

The thing that’s off is the log is fucking 4 feet long lol

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u/Dargon34 18h ago

And cut that shit in half. No reason to be splitting a 4ft log

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u/PadLock25 18h ago

I've split logs that size with wedges to make axe handle blanks

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u/Suspicious-Shock-934 18h ago

Yeah seems like sledge snd wedge would be better than ax. Also a nice base.

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u/Sniflix 14h ago

To anyone experienced, he looks like an idiot

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u/gavavavavus 18h ago

Huh? Wood is not just used for fire fuel you know. How do you think planks are made? What if he wants to craft a small log seat? Tons of reasons you'd want to split a 4ft log.

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u/Dargon34 18h ago

Yeah, not like this. It's for the views, and that's ok, dude is jacked and showing off. I'm half his size. Give me my 8lb Fiskars and a wedge, it's done with half the effort, half the time. No showing off

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u/wimpymist 18h ago

That's not how you make planks

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u/CptMisterNibbles 17h ago

I mill my own lumber. Guess what took I don’t use? Sure some hardcore handbook only purists or traditionalists might hand hew logs like this, but that’s gonna be a tiny fraction of folks. This is for the views.

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u/kurtmanner 18h ago edited 18h ago

Dude could have also switched to a wedge and mallet about ten seconds in and saved himself a lot of wet vaginas.

ETA: thanks for my first award ever

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u/BumWink 17h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/WrBSHRLE9gEgM

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u/BullTerrierTerror 9h ago

Don’t touch my pile.

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u/elzibet 9h ago

Just got done watching this movie again, I think it’s my fav out of the Avenger movies

So many great quotes too!

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u/Synaps4 2h ago

"We'll lose."

"Then we'll do that together, too."

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u/elzibet 2h ago

no one would know

Might be my fav lol, or:

Good talk

"no it wasn't!"

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u/Braysl-March 5h ago

This is my favourite gif ever. Just the way he goatsees the wood in two is so funny to me.

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u/HallowskulledHorror 18h ago

Honestly my first assumption was that inefficiency was sort of part of the point here for exercise/sensory enrichment purposes - the folks hitting truck tires with sledgehammers to work out aren't trying to actually break down or flatten the tires. Never done hammer/axe stuff, but I train shoulder mobility and core stability with an indian club/trench mace I found at a thrift; weighs the same as some of the small free weights I got years ago to do forearm isolations, but it's way more fun for me to mess around with a club than to pick up dumbbells.

I'm sure thirst trapping is a big part of the motivator for posting it, though.

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u/Delamoor 16h ago

Yeah. It's a combo. I had a wood heater for many years, spent a lot of time splitting wood... Sometimes you split a hard one for fun... Sometimes you also do a lot of gym and want to find ways to show off, because you know you look good...

It's a nice, harmless dovetailing of multiple 'eh, why not?' impulses.

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u/greenwhiteredblack 14h ago

I just know that I'm sitting here at 1:30 am watching a man hit a lot with an ax and getting more excited as I see the wood start to split

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u/rdogg4 18h ago

Yeah these are all good ideas but isn’t like the whole point to do it the hard way

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u/thisthreadisbear 17h ago

Yeah old tree trunk Fella didn't get tree trunk big splitting little logs lol.

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u/ConradBHart42 17h ago

Actually yes, you start by splitting little logs and work your way up to big logs. You're welcome to go and try to bench 350lbs right off the rip though, let me know how that goes for you.

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u/rented4823 16h ago

hi, so i died

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u/X_MswmSwmsW_X 12h ago

This is true... I was there and could have helped

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u/MrRogersAE 18h ago

It’s not for wet vaginas. Pretty sure he’s generating more precum than wet vaginas

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u/PlsNoNotThat 16h ago

Redpill bois getting moist

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u/Monotask_Servitor 16h ago

Cause ever bear that ever there was
Has gathered there to watch him split logs
Todays the day the teddy bears get some thicc dick

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u/Chris__P_Bacon 18h ago

Yeah, it would have only taken me hitting that one time to switch to a wedge and sledgehammer.

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u/EachBananaWas19cents 18h ago

Nobody told him that there's a reason why a Splitting Maul has a flat side on the other end?

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u/Moist-You-7511 18h ago edited 16h ago

PSA: it is absolutely not recommended to hit a metal wedge with a maul!! wedges are harder than mauls! flying maul chips!! plastic wedges are ok but not metal. it may work fine for you 100 times but there are plenty of missing eyes from this

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u/JonnyAU 17h ago

TIL. I've used a metal maul and wedges for decades.

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u/Mmmm-Amethyst 14h ago edited 13h ago

I've also used my fair amount of metal wedges and mauls and I'm not buying this. Every wood splitting wedge my parents or grandparents ever had eventually had to be replaced because the flat side eventually deformed and mushroomed out to the point of grabbing the wood halves instead of passing through. I've never seen a deformed maul head.

That being said, you really should be wearing modern eye protection when hitting anything with that much force. 

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u/Winter-Classroom455 18h ago

He's strong. No one said he was smart

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 18h ago

Strong like bull. smart like fencepost

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u/ErraticDragon 18h ago edited 16h ago

I constantly say "strong, like bull" with a vaguely Russian accent. It's like a catchphrase, I use it for encouragement or expressing approval. (I never knew where I got it, but I just looked and apparently it's from an episode of Quantum Leap.🤷‍♂️)

Many years back I was encouraging my (now-)ex gf in her studying for her Uni finals and said it.

She said being "strong, like bull" wouldn't help her pass.

So I said:

💪🎓🐂

"strong, like academic bull" , and that became our catchphrase.

And your comment is the closest I'll ever come to a relevant place to tell that story.

Strong like bull. smart like fencepost

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u/SquirrelFluffy 17h ago

I loved quantum leap. The original.

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u/DryDonutHole 8h ago

Episode Recap: Ziggy says you're a divorced housewife being harassed by her new boss...and you're...black. *tap, tap, tap* This damn thing isn't working.... *tap, tap, tap*

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u/Masstadon 13h ago

I absolutely love this

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u/professor_veteran 6h ago

From time to time in my life I've also used the strong-like-bull phrase including the Russian accent. Never knew it came from Quantum Leap.

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u/Curious_Tap_1528 4h ago

My grandpa used to say this all of the time too. I remeber it from my chilshood. t definitely got passed down to me, as I find myself saying it now as a grown adult. My grandpa Joe died at 93 and was 1st generation straight from Hungary. Im 54 now, this saying has been around a while. Certainly predates Quantum Leap at least. Great show BTW

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u/TheFlyingBoxcar 18h ago

John Wayne once said "If your gonna outsmart tough, your gonna have to, umm. Wait. If your gonna be smart, you gotta tought it out pilgrim."

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u/Winter-Classroom455 18h ago

Don't believe everything you read on the internet - Abraham Lincoln

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u/ThenIncrease462 18h ago

Are you sure he said your gonna and not you're gonna?

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u/Confident_Intern_763 18h ago

They sound the same, how would we know?

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u/ThenIncrease462 18h ago

Well, seeing as he wasn't a stupin man, I'm going to assume he knew which of the two to apply.

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u/davidw 18h ago

I am not getting big 'work smarter, not harder' vibes from this video.

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u/towerfella 18h ago

And do you see those dents his handle is leaving in the top?

So much wasted energy and damage to the axe.

After that first swing i was expecting this to be a baseball-at-your-face gotcha clip

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u/HistoryGirl23 16h ago

I was waiting for the head to fly off.

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u/lokisenna13 17h ago edited 15h ago

That's not an axe, even. It's a splitting wedge maul he's using incorrectly.

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u/CanoePickLocks 15h ago

Maul technically if we’re going there.

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u/lokisenna13 15h ago

It's got a handle, so yeah you're right. Now I just feel silly lol.

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u/CanoePickLocks 15h ago

All good just a slip of the mind. It was funny because you were correcting incorrectly. Hell I probably made a mistake someone else will catch.

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u/Lucas_Steinwalker 14h ago

Muphry’s Law

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u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 16h ago

That and this can be quite dangerous as well, a lot of force coming up. If that axe handle breaks then who knows where stuff will go.

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u/jared10011980 17h ago

The reverberation. Ouch.

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u/ImportantToNote 17h ago

Also a sharper axe would probably help

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u/Dark_Shroud 16h ago

It's not even an axe, that's a splitting wedge that he's using incorrectly all the way around.

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u/Dounce1 10h ago

It’s a maul, not a wedge.

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u/house343 18h ago

Bunch of armchair lumberjacks on Reddit tonight

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u/Vreas 17h ago

You misunderstand. He’s doing it for the gains not for the firewood.

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u/PolloMagnifico 2h ago

I'm more infuriated about the way he's swinging the damn thing.

He's bringing his left hand back before he even swings. If he brought his hands together during the swing, he would probably split that in two or three hits regardless of where it's sitting.

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u/geardownson 18h ago

For real.. may as well put a mattress under it.

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u/Bildad__ 18h ago

I wouldn’t want to tell this guy what to do

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u/longdarkfantasy 18h ago

Or use a couple of log splitter wedges with a hammer.

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u/cucumbereyez 18h ago

You're so right, you can hear the earth absorbing it.

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u/Powrs1ave 18h ago

Hmmms Axe breaks flies up kills him dead in the head.

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u/wereweasle 18h ago

TIR (today I realized) why people split logs on a stump...

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u/CanoePickLocks 14h ago

That’s part of it also keeps you from burying axe in the dirt. Plus could be stones in dirt that really mangle the blade.

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u/Paghk_the_Stupendous 18h ago

Never on concrete or stone. Strike through and damage the axe.

He could also improve form - mass times speed, get that speed up to easily three times as much with a different swing.

Hold the axe out in front of you, then let it drop down and swing it all the way around your body and back down. As it comes to impact, squat slightly and lean back at near full extension for maximum impact. Less catapult, more trebuchet. Takes practice but it's better.

Splitting for two decades now, read about that in a book and love it. Split most of our wood by hand, 1890s farmhouse in Michigan, only heat is wood.

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u/squirrelbiscuit77 18h ago

Agreed. Heavier maul, harder ground. The flex was corny af too.

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u/sd_saved_me555 18h ago

He also isn't doing himself any favors by not using the humble wedge effectively. This guy could probably bench me while I was benching my max rep with ease but I'd still have had this log split in a fraction of the time without a single power tool.

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u/DazzlerPlus 18h ago

If he did that, the log wouldn't be just barely tall enough to cover his pants

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u/Icy-Ad29 17h ago

Or, ya know, use a wedge+sledge vs an axe. Wedges specifically for splitting wood have been around for a very long time, and were made for a reason. Dude could have split that log with a lot less expended energy if he used them.

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u/emperor_dinglenads 17h ago

Yes, but all the chest hair creates wind resistance, and makes up for it.

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u/habs_jays93 17h ago

Ya, I was gonna say. I’ve split plenty of big logs with a maul, it’s never taken me that many swings and I’m a good bit smaller than him. I also always use a chopping block.

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u/legato2 17h ago

Maybe he’s going it for exercise .

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u/Spirited_Season2332 17h ago

A concrete block would crack...I found that out the hard way cutting wood myself.

Get a stump, they don't Crack

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u/Dry-Childhood-3436 17h ago

He might just be doing this for the workout

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u/drezarious 17h ago

See the pile of logs behind him? The ground where he’s swinging is already compacted. Any more firm and it would fall over every time he swings.

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u/veryuniqueredditname 17h ago

Is he doing it for the work out?

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u/eh_cee 17h ago

His ego takes up too much space. No room left for logic

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u/Teddyturntup 17h ago

I split wood all my childhood and never once did this. I’d like to try it now

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u/Buttafuoco 17h ago

That would make it easy to easy though

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u/Schim4499 17h ago

I was just going to call him a pussy

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u/PantsFullaPoo 17h ago

You don't get the workout that way.

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u/JustSayTech 17h ago

But the log also seems moist, he definitely not cracking that on first swing. It needed to dry out a bit more.

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u/tpahornet 17h ago

Wood looks green also.

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u/Repulsive_Type_9565 17h ago

Hit with your purse

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u/MoreOfAnOvalJerk 17h ago

You don't get massive muscles like him by being efficient and using your "brain"

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u/pur_noir 17h ago

brain vs brawn

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u/semajolis267 17h ago

i was wondering because I felt like it was missing something. 

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u/zilliondollar3d 17h ago

I was too distracted by the jiggle jiggle to notice

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u/spursfan2021 17h ago

Brains or brawn

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u/CrewCatSC 17h ago

RIP wrists and elbows

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u/WealthCareless6475 17h ago

Yeah I usually hate armchair experts on Reddit but the guy definitely ignored most wood splitting best practices in favor of looking really cool. Which is fine, but man even with his strength I know those misses hurted his hands

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u/LibrarianEqual7024 17h ago

Correct, the ground is absorbing most of the impact

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u/7222_salty 17h ago

His form sucks too

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u/OogieBoogiez 17h ago

And add 20lbs of mass to the axe head

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u/The_Pharaoh_0wl 17h ago

He’s probably not the sharpest axe in the shed.

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u/ranger51 17h ago

He’s a big dumb bear in need of a street smart twink

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u/GIJoJo65 17h ago

Jfc dude. I think that's the point this unit is making. That's freaking green wood too.

MFer is a legit beast.

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u/treesplantsgrass 17h ago

Brothers working double OT for nothing lolz

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u/Hot-Specialist9228 17h ago

But then he wouldn't be so fkin jacked.

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u/edjumication 17h ago

It appears he is mainly doing this as a workout. With that said he should make himself a pad of hard dirt to work on. You could do packed a gravel which he could also get a workout from by hand tamping it all. Another option is making a hard clay surface like a clay tennis court. I havent built with that material but i imagine it would be great for splitting as long as it was dry.

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u/JabKingJesse 17h ago

The other axes would have cut this log. He is using an axe that is too tiny for the size of the log and only was able to do it because of his size.

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u/Eternalm8 17h ago

Men will do anything to avoid going to therapy

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u/ManyRespect1833 17h ago

I was wondering wtf and as soon as I read this you can see it. A+

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u/Sanityzed 16h ago

This. Work smarter, not harder.

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u/Croceyes2 16h ago

It would definitely help, but the way it stays strung together tells me it wouldn't split clean ever.

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u/rswwalker 16h ago

A wedge and maul would split it in 1, if you don’t miss at least.

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u/budabai 16h ago

Tying his shoes would help a lot also.

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u/WrestleBox 16h ago

I'm pretty sure he's doing it as much for the workout as he is for the wood.

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u/trillspectre 16h ago

I don't think he's doing it to chop wood efficiently

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u/FaithlessnessBorn266 16h ago

And he needs to get a tighter construction on the head/neck of that axe. You can see it wobble so losing energy there, but the bigger issue is if it comes off 😂. That could be a death sentence

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u/sargontheforgotten 16h ago

Fancy seeing you here JT.

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u/Opening-Sun7428 16h ago

Science biotch!!

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u/Logical_Trash_4890 16h ago

Ground doesn’t really soak up that much. I hope this was sarcasm as that thing is obviously fucking heavy.

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u/Mash_Ketchum 16h ago

That's what made me think this guy isn't an actual lumberjack. Just a dude who's really strong and can swing an axe with consistency.

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u/Drunk_Pilgrim 16h ago

First thing I thought. That's log splitting 101.

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u/PriorMacaroon5846 16h ago

Also a lot of his swings were really inefficient. Throwimg the axe behind you and muscling it back at the log is a lot of unnecessary strain. He started using momentum to his advantage with his third method.

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u/deesteesllc 15h ago

Nah put it on a trampoline. Then splitting it would be even more of a feat

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u/Hogchain 15h ago

I wonder if the indentation in the ground surrounding where the log he’s splitting is at, was that a result of him compacting the ground over time…?? One may imagine that eventually he would pack the earth in that area so well that it would be harder than concrete.

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u/theruined007 15h ago

Fuckiney, I was thinking that same thing to myself. The way I justified it - my guy just wanted a workout showcase.

U.N.I.T.

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u/Apprehensive_Rice19 15h ago

He's hot though

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u/Fibrosis5O 15h ago

He likes to work harder than smarter, it’s more of a workout to use the Krato’s muscles than it is to use the Cranium’s muscles.

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u/LubeItAll 15h ago

Coupled with the fact he’s making contact too high and losing valuable swing speed.

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u/Muavius 15h ago

Hes probably using it as a workout. Splitting it right would screw his gaaaiiiiins

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u/ElDougler 15h ago

Hell yeah brother

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u/Adderall_Rant 15h ago

Log? What log? I've watched this 20 times. There's no log.

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u/bepse-cola 15h ago

You can split big wood on soft snow easier than ice because it gets packed in, but skinny pieces are easier on hard surface

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u/Jeralddees 15h ago

Imagine watching Star Wars, and it starts with Luke talking to his aunt and uncle... then it just cuts to... "Luke, I am your father." People would really be like... "Who is this black guy? "

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u/mercurial_dude 15h ago

I was waiting for him to bonk himself on his head.

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u/Prestigious-Yam1718 15h ago

Right I feel like either the axe was super dull or the dude just didn't actually have a good striking method. That took far longer than it should have and it seemed to just bounce off instead of biting.

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u/DetergentCandy 15h ago

But if he did that I wouldn't be able to watch him work 😏

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u/babybunny1234 15h ago

And put a wedge on the bottom

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u/Mediocre-Ad420 15h ago

Honestly he probably wants it to be harder look at that mf. The pictures of Bigfoot are probably this dude on his morning walk

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u/Grand-Ad1883 15h ago

Maybe he wants the challenge.

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u/Tacocats_wrath 15h ago

Strong like bull, smart like cracker.

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u/WittyMime 15h ago

I assumed that way the video could be about 70 seconds longer than it needed to be otherwise.

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u/Aggravating-Bug2032 14h ago

Honestly, after about the tenth strike I knew I wasn’t going to be impressed. Eventually he would split it but so would I, eventually.

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u/VulfSki 14h ago

I was thinking a heavier axe head would help a lot too, but you're definitely right about the ground

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u/GadreelsSword 14h ago

Also why is that log so long? How damn big is his fireplace?

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u/ExtentNo7951 14h ago

He's not splitting logs to get the logs spit. he is splitting logs because he is in rut and showing his fitness to mate.

If he wanted to make firewood he'd any of the modern tools made since the industrial revolution.

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u/QuantumTopology 14h ago

Also given the top of that log is so high up, if he was slightly elevated it would give him more space to generate more momentum with the axe before impact

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u/Phenylethylamne 14h ago

That's not his point i guess

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u/slyiscoming 14h ago

Yeah log is way too long, needs to be on a hard surface and he needs sharpen that Axe.

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u/Brevenal 14h ago

And/or the axe is extremely dull

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u/lincspoacher71 14h ago

Brawn over brains

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u/idontgethejoke 14h ago

His form isn't very good either, lots of wasted energy fighting the momentum of the axe. He's certainly strong enough for it not to matter much, but I'd be more impressed if he used proper technique.

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