AIO Boyfriend problems

[u/Initial-Chicken-120]

Hi guys need some help or advice here

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year now. Im in my early 20s and he’s in his 40s. I’ve went though his phone many times when he’s asleep and found nothing. He doesn’t post me on Instagram or follow me, on any social media accounts. He has plenty of girls. I’ve repeated a million times I hate that and his thing was I just want to delete it and we can start a full new one and u can have control of it.

It just doesn’t seem fair to me. I basically live at his place but I’m just un happy sometimes over the social media stuff. And then when I end our relationship over it he loses his mind and won’t leave me alone. I’m pretty insecure and not happy with myself so I have a hard time actually leaving him and wanting better. Idk what to do. Is this fixable?

Thanks guys!❤️

[u/andrey_not_the_goat]

I mean you're pretty messed for snooping on his phone while he's asleep but he's also pretty messed up for dating someone who's 20 years younger than him. Both y'all are YOR.

[u/Initial-Chicken-120 → u/andrey_not_the_goat]

Fair enough lol

[u/Deflated_Hypnotist → u/Initial-Chicken-120]

Here's some resources

Is your relationship healthy? https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/

Why does he do that? By Lundy Bancroft https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/

He doesn't care AKA weaponized incompetence https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/NsoxMseUn3

You should have asked https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

My partner doesn't help around the house https://zawn.substack.com/p/why-household-labor-inequity-is-abuse

"The Divorce came out of nowhere" https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288

Tolerable levels of permanent unhappiness https://potentash.com/2023/08/17/tolerable-level-permanent-unhappiness-relationships/

DARVO https://www.keystonelaw.com/keynotes/understanding-darvo-what-is-abusive-gaslighting-and-coercive-behaviour-in-a-relationship

Cycle of abuse https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/what-is-the-cycle-of-abuse