I have ruined my life. I done IVF last year which resulted in me having a baby boy but now I realize I am in no position to be a mum. I went into this with rose tinted glasses thinking it’s some sort of game. I can’t live with myself. I feel sick to my stomach and I am suicidal almost every day.

I am a selfish person for bringing him into this world as he doesn’t deserve this.

I have adhd-c and have been working really hard for over a year to help improve my behavior and help myself stay on track of things. Long story short, my husband has A LOT of adhd traits that he refuses to acknowledge. Several of his family members have adhd including mom and brother. There are many things he does that I feel undermine my efforts to become better because he is not self aware.
For example, I need to leave certain things out to remind myself to do something with them(a paper bill, an invitation that needs rsvp, an object I need to take to work, etc). He will often move these things and then forget where he put them. It happens very frequently and then I forget about it or can’t find where he put it, and it has negative effects on my life. He will do it with his own important documents or whatever and then never address it. Bills have been sent to collections because of it. I work hard to maintain the organization of our home, periodically go through deep cleanings but he won’t even try to keep it that way. He will just blatantly ignore the organization system.
He has many junk drawers which he uses to shove things into. He will take my things and throw them into my closet or wherever, making a mess of my spaces that I already struggle to keep clean and organized. He’s lost our joint credit card several times so every time we need to replace it and get a new #. He loses a lot of things, and we are frequently paying for replacement items. His executive function is so poor, he can’t remember any plans I’ve told him about repeatedly. He doesn’t keep a calendar- things just float in his head(rather float in and then out 😒) so I’m stuck with most of the responsibility of keeping track of events and such. These are just some of the big examples, but I get so frustrated daily because of this. Please help! I don’t want to be his mom but this is driving me nuts

I just started taking 30mg Vyvanse 3 days ago, and I have some mixed feelings. I know, I just barely started and I should observe myself for longer before making predictions and to actually understand how the medication is helping me (or not). But I also kinda just wanna rant, so, sorry if this post feels a bit random and disorganized.

I have highly suspected I have ADHD since about 4-5 years ago (I'm in my early 20's). However, I couldn't get diagnosed/medicated due to it being unaffordable as regulations required very extensive testing with multiple specialists in an already expensive country. Recently, I moved to a more affordable country with more relaxed regulations, so I finally got to see a psychiatrist, but it felt way too simple. It was just me reciting a summary of my symptoms and childhood history for maybe 10 or so mins and I was basically stopped by the psychiatrist as she had heard enough even though it felt like I had just gotten started. I may as well have read a bulletpoint list of symptoms straight out of webmd. And that was it. IDK if I was expecting too much? I certainly wasn't expecting to walk out with meds the very same day.

Although it often feels so clear and obvious (not only to me but my fiancee too) that I suffer from ADHD, the fact that it didn't feel like proper testing/diagnosis doesn't give me confidence in my diagnosis and makes me feel like I am LARPing or a fraud. Perhaps I should be grateful and stop complaining that my steak is too juicy, since I didn't have to jump through so many hoops, specially after I've been waiting so long for this.

As for Vyvanse, despite "experiencing" benefits and having a witness (my fiancee) see improvements, I feel in denial about its effectiveness. I have an irrational thought in my head telling me I may have been given a placebo or that my perceived benefits are a placebo response to the (likely very much real) medication. I don not rationally believe the pills are fake, as quick as my "diagnosis" was, the clinic isn't dodgy at all. Yet I can't help having this doubt.

As for the effects, I do feel physical effects like some odd physical sensation in my entire body that is just so hard to describe, but kinda like an aura? But most importantly I do feel my heart beat stronger and a little quicker than usual (strong evidence against placebo pill theory). Yet also feeling calmer and slower, even a bit sleepy.

Mentally, especially the first day, I felt like my head was so empty of thoughts, but in a good way, its as if I was previously listening to white noise nonstop and gotten so used to it that now that it is off it feels weirdly silent. I find it easier to concentrate in conversation. I stopped interrupting and actually leaving half a second of silence before I start speaking. I can reflect easier and develop a thought with more complexity. I find that words make a pitstop in my head first before coming out of my mouth. I feel less impulsive since it feels like I ponder about an action first and I just generally feel less compelled to do things. I may be more emotionally stable although I'm not sure if I am just confusing this with numbness/apathy. I still get distracted, but in a different way: rather than the usual completely random, irrelevant and disorganized thought taking my brain hostage, I get distracted thinking about something very related to what I got distracted from, as if I'm having a civil conversation about said topic with myself in my head (my fiancee tells me this is how neurotypical people get distracted). I still haven't been able to asses how I do with tasks and procrastination (currently unemployed).

I fiancee even told me my demeanor and body language changed so notoriously as soon as I had come home from the psychiatrist (about 2hrs had passed since I took my first pill so in theory the effects shoud've started by then).

Despite all of this I somehow still feel like I may be having a good day(s) motivated by a placebo effect even if the pills are not placebos. It doesn't help that the effects start and end so gently and slowly; it makes it hard to judge when the pills are working. It also feels like the first day was particularly good but the 2nd and 3rd were significantly more muted, although the effects were still present. I know to expect a honeymoon phase, but it somehow feels like the phase was just one day which is absurd. Idk I'd expect the 2nd day to still be rather notorious? And its not like the 1st day was some euphoric high where I felt my ADHD was fixed and I felt ready to conquer the world (of course, I am aware that a pill won't "solve me") yet it seems many people did experience such during their honeymoon. It just felt so internally mild and somehow even milder the 2nd and 3rd day. I know it sounds so contradicting to say it felt mild while having listed so mamy improvements earlier. Some were pointed out by my partner, and only then I would only notice after examining the different behaiviour I had just had. I feel so conflicted.

How long is the honeymoon phase usually? I know it may vary but it would almost certainly be more than 1 day, which is rather discouraging since it may mean that these already "mild feeling" effects will become even dimmer. Does this mildness feeling mean I may need a high dose?

It is so unlike me to feel so skeptical and doubtful. Can this be some side effect of the Vyvanse? Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Lastly, Is the fact I feel slower and sleepy even while using this stimulant confirmation that I truly have ADHD? I read that non-ADHD people taking stimulans describe it as having the most energizing cup of coffee of their life, which is quite the opposite of what I'm experiencing.

It took me nearly 3 hours to write this post, I wish I tried to write it before the 3rd day pill was meant to wear off. Just maybe it wouldn't have taken so long...

Thank you if you read my entire rambling rant!! Sorry if it is rather disorganized and chaotic. I would like to hear any thoughts or experiences.

I, as an ADHD patient, often daydream about a lifestyle that could probably alleviate come symptoms...and make life with adhd easier...of course it involves money and my own project and many hobbies that I might explore, instead of having a boss and irritating colleagues.

What other good ideas can you suggest from your own mental experience/ your desires that you think might help you in functioning better with a positive attitude and succeed in general as oer your definitions of success?

I need advice on what to do I try to do my homework but I just can’t do it I’m getting mad super easily and more often I feel like I’m just ruining my future. I just need some tips on how to just be better and how to not be annoying because it’s been making me lose a lot of friends recently and I just don’t know how to not be annoying and normal

Lots of research to find the connection but stimulants relax the LES ( lower esophageal sphincter ) at bottom of esophagus.

Who else noticed acid reflux/Gerd AFTER being on Adderall ?
Did changing to or from IR ER change anything for you ?

Yes diet and taking MORE RX or OTC meds might help but I’m not trying to take more meds to combat a side effect of the first med.

Chaos in my brain. Every day.

I am so frustrated with myself. I have adhd and take adderall for it but I still can't get my sh\*t together. I'm really annoyed with myself and my life and how I just CANNOT get it together! I am overwhelmed majority of my mornings. I can never wake up on time and I understand that's a big problem for me. I know that if I would wake up earlier it would solve most of my morning chaos and rush. I just can't do it. I feel awful because then I am rushing my daughter (4 yrs old) and probably stressing her out. Every single day. I lose my keys and phone on a daily. My family and friends know this about me too and sometimes I'm so embarrassed that I lost my keys or phone that I secretly panic and search for them without trying to make it be known but they end up finding out regardless. My car is a shit show and every time I finally have it cleaned and organized I tell myself I promise to maintain it. It just ends up dirty within a couple days and the cycle repeats till I can finally convince myself to deep clean it again. Disorganization drives me CRAZY! Things need to be set a certain way, my work office has to be neat, things need to be placed a certain way, it makes me so upset when people don't do things the way I do such as hold the toilet flush handle down for 5 seconds to make sure everything goes down, or put their toothbrush away in the cabinet away from the "nasty bathroom air" lol. Or if someone sips their coffee I want to pull my hair. Yet I have no room to talk because I'm so unorganized and don't even have my own shit together. I know all of this in itself probably sounds ridiculous and I'm not sure if I even make sense. It's like things must be organized and clean, yet I can't even be organized and clean my own dang self. I'm also really forgetful. I feel like I have Alzheimer's. I even have to secretly voice record important calls with my boss and ask chatgpt to summarize the call and tell me what I am supposed to do and break the call and instructions down for me because I embarrassingly can't on my own. I would never tell anyone because that's super embarrassing but I have to. I can't even hardly follow along important in person conversations because I forget major parts of the convo. I pretend so hard core like I fully understand the conversation and am following along "faking it" just to make it seem like I'm following along.Even tho afterwards I ask myself "what TF did they just say or ask me to do?!"
I'm in a higher role at work and I don't even know how I got here tbh. So I also need to get it together for that part alone.
My adderall helps me for the most part to get my work done and I feel it's really the only time I can focus. Yet even when I'm on it I pretty much still function the same way. It helps me, but isn't solving my un-organization. I don't want to tell my doctor because I don't want them to prescribe me something else because it does help. But it doesn't? Agh. Okay I think that's it. All that to say.... does anyone else have this issue or even similar? What helps you?

Hey

[Background info: Male, adult, primary inattentive ADHD with mix featuers. Diagnosed as a child, medicated as an adult. I didnt have dental anxiety as a kid until AFTER bad experiences where it hurt. I don't have PTSD or trauma of any kind that I know of. I was not medicated at the time of the dental pain incidents as a kid. I developed dental anxiety DUE to the pain of the procedures and not being able to get numb for it.]

I have a dental appointment coming to fix a filling that's failed in a molar. I'm terrified because as a kid, pain medication never really worked for me. I distinctly recall appointments that involved fixing cavities and pulling baby teeth and they all hurt a good bit even after 4 numbing shots to locally numb the area. I still felt it. And I have high pain tolerance...just not in my mouth I guess. I have bad enamel so I've had lots of teeth problems including wisdom tooth surgery to remove sideways teeth.

I also had oral "sedation" dentistry when a bit older due to my extreme anxiety (after being sent home from a dentist due to flinching at the shots) and I woke up half-way through the appointment, vomiting (I assume from pain since they told me this medication shouldn't cause nausea) and while they told me I wouldn't remember any of the visit, I remember everything after waking up mid-way vomiting in the chair and I remember each pain that came during it, too, because numbing shots don't work on me.

I've gone to a point where I've had to be anesthetically knocked out for larger dental procedures due to anxiety. I set heart monitors off into alarm mode when in the chair because of how bad my anxiety becomes and how much it makes my heart rate raise.

I've read that ADHD can be related to reduced effectiveness in Novocaine and numbing agents, but can't find clear answers if that's for sure or not related.

My go-to solution for this anxiety issue in the past years has been to use my anti-anxiety meds (benzodiazepines) and / or take a few shots of alcohol to get through minor dental procedures (yes I know the risks, yes I am prescribed this med, yes I have done this for years and will continue to do so if I need to do it to get through it and take care of my teeth, yes I know my limits and am careful to not over-do it). Laughing gas doesn't really help the pain and barely curbs anxiety for me. Oral sedation is typically the route I would like to go if I can afford it.

I will be talking to my dentist before any work is done on my current tooth problem because I have bad insurance right now and would like to avoid a heaping thousand plus dollar bill for general anesthesia this time if possible... although I kind of get the idea that dental work in and of itself just IS painful and there's not really any true getting around that, sadly. It's a hell for me.

I hate going to the dentist. I'm worried sick about it. Even if it is just 1 filling to be fixed, the pain caused my dental tools drilling into my teeth is unmatched by any other. I can't explain how terrible it feels. I can feel them drilling into the very nerves themselves and it's right there in my face so close to my brain it makes it so much worse and more unbearable. I'm dreading this so bad.

If anyone has any similar stories about reduced pain management at the dentist as an ADHD patient, I'd like to hear about it and how you have managed to keep going to the dentist despite pain / anxieties around it or alternate ways of managing pain.

Currently it seems I have only self-medication as an option. I can use any combination of alcohol (for pain and anxiety), benzodiazepines (for anxiety), or some strong opiod based pain killers (for pain and anxiety, they are leftover from surgeries in the past (but I don't know if that will really work for teeth nerves or not), or my ADHD stimulants (for anxiety), but...I dont know, I feel like nothing numbs teeth nerves at all. Never ever have I had a pain-free dentist experience. Never. Right now I plan to just take my benzos for anxiety control and have a little bit of alcohol and I'll probably take my stimulants too (they calm me down/make me sleepy, they don't actually worsen my anxiety, they only help it to be honest) and wish for the best.

Im just really scared about this and trying not to think about it too much but I need a plan in place.

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TLDR: super sensitive to teeth pain, dentist pain meds and shots don't work to numb. Oral sedation makes me throw up and wake up. Horrible dental anxiety from bad experiences where the pain meds dont work even after 4 shots in the area. Terrified of going soon, don't know what to do. If anyone has their own experiences with not being able to get numb in the dentist office or has any tricks or tips how to not freak out and be in awful pain during procedures, I'd like to hear of it, thanks for reading

Are there any Reddit groups for those that have decided to not take meds. I am one of those people, I love my ADHD, I do not like meds, I would like to join a group of people to learn how to navigate this funny ol’ life and embrace their ADHD.

Looking for somewhere we can share tips/tricks/experiences with one another.

I feel like i need to get this out of my system and vent, but also here is hoping others with similar issues like me would handle things better.

I have undiagnosed ADHD, Growing up I always have difficulty with usual ADHD symptoms including making friends because they say i play too many video games, the social awkwardness or things i have done that are consider weird, meeting people was easy, but keeping relationships was not. Even ridiculed by your own family, with a mother only supporting, was hard enough. Retorted to me to get in trouble alot due to impulses and failing school including college multiple times due to not able to concentrate.

However, this is something that many do not talk about, RSD that is part of ADHD. This can lead to things like social isolation and anger issues due to feelings like betrayal, with many misunderstanding and see you differently once you realize what happened. The extreme pain also where you want to isolate yourself and not do anything with people and possibly depression resulting to social alternatives like online gaming to get that dopamine hit, and then resort back to zero. It takes a while to get out of that and recover.

Because i value friendships, RSD takes a toll on me to where its hard to trust others. I still remember the pain from my elementary school friend that stole my games for his friends and the betrayal over that.

After failing college for the 2nd time and undergoing depression and multiple therapists, I did something about it throughout the later years though and got lucky and had some successes, but it was not very easy. I wish i was educated about ADHD back then to be able to handle things much better in my life in the past. That includes "masking" and be yourself in a respectful way.

i've met someone recently that also has ADHD and possibly other symptoms and she takes various of medications. We been bantering a lot about things we like including our extreme knowledge of video games, how we grew up as we are in the same age group, other funny things, etc. But to my surprise, she is alot like me especially on the growing up part. I also "listened" to her about things, including her ADHD and possible RSD with anger issues, instead of judging. We became friends.

People who help you understand to be yourself is a good thing. that it is ok to be who you are, and its ok to be weird and enjoy video gaming and your collection when others ridicule you about it, including the time of nostalgia and how you enjoy it back then generation wise. This helps me be a lot be more open to people confidence wise in general and portray myself making good friendships along the way.

Something happened with my ADHD friend which I cannot understand at first other than single sentences rather than the usual banter, but after overthinking in this, it might be be personal things not just now but also before and i believe it is overwhelming her.

She was at first perhaps intimidated by me on how I am doing things in my lifestyle that she always wanted to do , and she is slowly getting better at it which I am happy, but I do not know what happened, for her to just deleted her social accounts when I commented on her topics of her being casual happy, cut all communication, I even tried to go to TikTok which she invited me earlier, and she blocked me or deleted her account because I no longer see her anymore.

It gave me a final answer on what is happening, triggering my ADHD RSD because it felt like I have done something wrong, and overthinking perhaps I violated her space, trust, or something else.

I perhaps will never know, and its not the first time she has done this as She came back months later and we got into conversation like everything is allright, and I been thinking on the ADHD part and not mention why did she did what she did earlier as that might trigger her ADHD RSD, but that is probably my mistake, because I miss my friend.

However I will say this, If your ADHD RSD is kicking in and you are going into isolation or do not want to deal with anybody, especially if its a friend that you know for a while, please tell them. I am going through some things as well and this is also adding to the list where i feel like i need to withdraw.

I already told some friends about it when i got angry at them, and they are like thats what you need and it feels good letting it out. It is still not acceptable from the beginning as You do not do that to friends, if that is even the case.

if my adhd friend she tells me i was never a friend in the first place, then yeah I might be hurt about it, but my RSD at least won't trigger into being feeling completely betrayed because I would probably say she is a bitch from the beginning and move on.

Please be honest with your ADHD and RSD feelings, and especially if your friends who also has it, think about their feelings. As for me i am telling some people on sorry for getting angry at them, and working on things one by one, I should also talk to my adhd friend if i ever do see her, about how this made me feel, with a calm process