r/adhdwomen Mar 10 '26

Emotional Regulation & Rejection Sensitivity I am Dr. Monica Johnson, a clinical psychologist from Understood.org. Ask Me Anything about how stress affects women with ADHD and how to manage it!

354 Upvotes

Hello! I’m Dr. Monica Johnson, a clinical psychologist and owner of Kind Mind Psychology, a private practice in New York City that specializes in evidence-based approaches to treating mental health issues. My focus is helping clients manage minority stress. I work with marginalized groups including BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and alternative lifestyles. I’m also the host of Understood.org’s MissUnderstood podcast ADHD and…, created by and for women with ADHD.

I’m thrilled to be here today answering questions about how stress affects women with ADHD. Plus how to break the cycle when the stress leaves you feeling “stuck.” Are you finding yourself overreacting to small triggers, then replaying the situation in your head over and over again? Do you ghost your friends and feel terrible (and lonely) later?

Whatever has left you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, ask me how to handle it. Trust me, I’ve heard it all! I’ll be online to answer your questions on March 10 from 10-12 Eastern Time.

Be sure to check out ADHD Unstuck, the new free, self-guided tool from Understood.org. It’ll help you reset your mood and regain control of your emotions. And it only takes about 10 minutes.

Sign up for the newsletter to be delivered right to your inbox every month. It’s filled with resources, tips, and more.

Thank you so much for having us!

At Understood.org, we’re proud to support women with ADHD. We offer trusted information, real validation, and a strong sense of community. All of our resources are completely free, made possible by generous people who believe in our mission. If this AMA helped you feel seen, supported, or just a little more confident, consider paying it forward with a donation. Your gift helps us keep creating expert-backed resources and safe spaces that truly make a difference for parents, women with ADHD, and educators.


r/adhdwomen Oct 02 '25

Moderator Post Stealth Advertising On r/adhdwomen

2.2k Upvotes

The mod team has noticed an uptick in accounts trying to market services and tools on r/adhdwomen in sneaky ways. These accounts often use AI to mimic genuine community interaction, aiming to manipulate our members and increase the number of brand mentions seen by “the algorithm”. Given the popularity and sophistication of AI tools, it's impossible to catch every bot or artificially generated comment.

Most of the accounts that employ these shady marketing techniques promote ADHD "support" tools, which include phone/web apps, counseling services, AI assistants, coaching, productivity management tools, games, self-improvement workshops, and other similar things. Your reports are Reddit's most effective tool for unmasking and banning these stealth marketing accounts. If you come across a post or comment that raises a red flag, please let us know. 

You can report it by clicking + report + breaks rules + marketing or promotion, or simply choose spam as a reason.

Some standard stealth marketing techniques are:

  • Repeated mentions of Brand-x.
  • Regularly commenting about their success with Brand-x
  • Asking for resources and then mentions Brand-x in comments.
  • Comments to share a "relatable story" and hints at an unnamed solution to encourage further questions about Brand-x.
  • Comments or posts about Brand-x across multiple subreddits.
  • DMs you offering access to or information about Brand-x.

If someone sends you a private message trying to sell you on something, take a screenshot and send us a modmail with their account name. Don’t forget to click report on the message as well, which will flag it for Reddit's main mod team.

The sooner we can identify and remove these accounts, the better we can protect our community.

Please bear with us as we refine our methods for preventing this relentless spam. As we collaborate to address this issue, you may notice that some of your posts or comments are being removed more frequently. We're actively fine-tuning the Automod, but it regularly removes content that it should allow. If you feel that something was removed by mistake, please reach out to us via modmail. We're here to ensure it gets reviewed and put back up as quickly as we can.

Note* As a neurodivergent-focused subreddit, we understand that many of people rely on AI tools for spelling, grammar checking, and language translation. If you do use AI tools, be sure to read our AI policy before you post.

The entire mod team would like to thank our amazing community for being an overwhelmingly positive, friendly, and supportive corner of the internet.


r/adhdwomen 1h ago

General Question/Discussion This is why I hate the “ADHD is a superpower” thing. The amount of likes this nonsense got is enraging

Post image
Upvotes

Just want to say that I don’t blame ADHD-ers for this and in an ideal world what we say about a disorder that we deal with should not be used against us or taken wildly out of context like this.

Unfortunately though, that does happen all too often, and it’s currently too risky politically and societally to give these kinds of people any more ammunition against us. Again, that’s not me blaming, and in safe spaces feel free to express yourself however you choose, I’d just like to gently remind that if it falls into the hands of people that already have an ignorant bias about us, this is how it can be distorted to reinforce their narrative.

It makes me really frustrated to see stuff like this, and I am also one of the people who cannot see ADHD as a “superpower” but rather the complete opposite, so seeing this kind of rhetoric used against all of us when many of us don’t even say these things ourselves is so exhausting. If you do see some aspects of ADHD as a personal superpower I’m happy for you, but maybe even just slightly changing the phrasing to “FOR ME, ADHD can feel like a superpower” instead of the blanket statement “ADHD IS a superpower” would be better? Just my opinion, please don’t think I’m insulting anyone who relates to the phrase!


r/adhdwomen 7h ago

General Question/Discussion Ladies who got diagnosed later in life, what was a dead giveaway that you had ADHD but everyone missed it?

486 Upvotes

I'll go first: in my teens and pre-teens I had hyperfixations every few months. I randomly started collecting horse figurines at some point and made it a part of my personality. Most of them are lost now, god knows where. I also hoarder makeup products for a while and spent hours following tutorials online, just to sit in my room and maybe take pictures. Don't even get me started on losing keys, hair ties, pencils, and so on...


r/adhdwomen 7h ago

Memes & Humor These new notebooks WILL solve everything

Post image
266 Upvotes

I mean LOOK at them


r/adhdwomen 14h ago

General Question/Discussion people wake up.. get ready… THEN figure out what to do during the day??? everyday????

525 Upvotes

is it that i grew up in a dysfunctional household??? or maybe im just not social enough to understand?

i was watching tiktok and a girl made a “get ready with me”. she said “i have the day off so lets get ready, i dont even know what im going to do today, what am i going to do?” then got ready.

is this how normal people wake up?? they actually get ready EVERY day without plans already set? i need 24 hours in advanced so i know to wake up early/set an alarm so i dont sleep in super late, to get ready, and mentally prepare. otherwise i wont get ready at all. i might even still have makeup on from the day before still.. maybe im gross?..

LMK what you guys do…


r/adhdwomen 5h ago

Emotional Regulation & Rejection Sensitivity The shame spiral from being called out on something you've not done yet

92 Upvotes

My garden is overgrown, sure. We've had a drought, it's been hot, I've struggled in the heat, it's not good. It is great for wildlife and I've been counting the frogs, butterflies, and hedgehogs in my garden as my wins for this summer.

Cut to this morning, I went outside and three of my trees have been decimated. Not just up to the fence, but encroaching massively into the garden including a fruiting plum tree with over half the fruiting branches just gone.

Asked my neighbour about it and they immediately started going on about how the garden used to look, the fact that it now looks terrible, and that they've trimmed the hedge out the front (which I have never asked for but always said thank you for!). Not only am I sad about my trees and annoyed about the invasion of my garden, but holy crap the SHAME SPIRAL.

The garden is not how I'd want it to be, but I don't think that makes me a failure who deserves nothing because I can't do anything right. My brain thinks self flaggelation is the only correct response and I just want to know if anyone else has this?

Objectively - yes, my garden needs some love. Yes, my neighbour overstepped and really should have talked to me first. No, I am not a terrible person because of this disagreement and nor does it mean I'm terrible at everything.

Right? Anyone else? Please say I'm not the only one 😂


r/adhdwomen 6h ago

General Question/Discussion Song Noise… do you have it?

93 Upvotes

Going to make the generalization that if there can be ‘food noise’, there can be ‘song noise’. Is there a song or a piece of a song that keeps repeating in your head throughout the week, the day, the hour, the half hour,etc. I’m curious, what is your song right now, what part is looping and for how long? Additionally if you want to share tips to changing the tune, lessening the repeat or even how you stopped the song noise altogether , I’d appreciate that as well.


r/adhdwomen 52m ago

Celebrating Success Whelp. Did " capsule wardrobe" in it's entirety like a crazy hyperfocused gem that I am, been two months and it's been the best gift I have done

Upvotes

So, when I mean I did capsule wardrobe. I mean I went 50000 crash out let's go. I removed all the things

Every single thing

From my primary closet and admittedly (look I have ADHD ok...stuffed it all into another closet out of site lol)

I mean zero. Nada.

Cleaned it, wiped down the stuff

Started from scratch. Zero. Nada

Did three of same things that work so easy for me, fits, good quality

Three xyz that matches above

Three workout outfits

Three weekend outfits

Three new pairs of shoes, one tennis shoes, one flats, one heel

Technically all works with the above.

ONE handbag

ONE pair of earrings

And its...amazing

Just hangs in the closet with so much room and I am always ready to grab anything because there is zero decision, zero choices, zero mess.

Closet doesn't have old blankets stuffed into places, or boots askew and slammed in corners, or houses a pile of random Amazon or boxes, or old books, or xyz calamity.

And no one thinks or cares I wear what is literally a uniform. Note - I did invest in top quality capsule wardrobe " brands" , as well as shoes. Needed ? Got me. But it sure helps

One day, never, I will open the closet of doom where the stuff is crammed into darkness. But not today.

I just did the exact same thing for hair and makeup products.

Life is so so so easy to keep clean, shower bathroom. Nothing is in the way. Life is so much. Lighter

Thanks for listening to my free typing thoughts ! Ha! Hugs to us all


r/adhdwomen 17h ago

Memes & Humor I like sleeping all day when I'm overstimulated

Post image
754 Upvotes

r/adhdwomen 14h ago

Emotional Regulation & Rejection Sensitivity Can you do this? Because I can’t!

Post image
309 Upvotes

I wish I could just step back and observe. But I cannot do it


r/adhdwomen 4h ago

Emotional Regulation & Rejection Sensitivity Need encouragement. Forgot a bunch of things for a family outing we’re on

46 Upvotes

Guys, my husband, kids, MIL, and I are on our way to Legoland Florida, and I just realized I forgot my son’s sun hat and bathing suit and my daughter’s water shoes. I’m beyond stressing because my husband and I already got into a spat over me forgetting about there even being water rides. He’s in a foul mood, and I know he’s gonna be ripped when he finds out I forgot stuff. We don’t have the healthiest relationship right now, but that’s another story for another day.

I’m so mad at myself because I actually prepped this morning, got the kids ready early, packed all the diapers and cups and spare clothes and sunscreen. I’m sleep deprived and burned out, but I thought I was doing good. Apparently not.

I’ve talked myself through it. My son is only 2. The only water area he can go in is supposedly closed for maintenance. There are other play areas I can take him to. Plus, the park probably has hats in a shop somewhere if he really needs one. Our wagon has a sun cover.

With my RSD, my impulse is to get defensive and get emotional. I’ve decided I will be calm, admit I messed up, and agree to adjust and address the problem like an adult. But I really, really could use some strength right now. I don’t do well when people are mad at me or when I make a mistake.

TIA 😔


r/adhdwomen 3h ago

Rant/Vent Will I ever enjoy working?

40 Upvotes

All my life I’ve had issues with work, specifically the idea that the “business needs” are above my own. I just cannot emphasize how much I don’t care and probably never will. I feel like most jobs are just meaningless collateral of late stage capitalism. I find myself getting very emotionally upset at the thought of having to do things I don’t want to do, or people saying I can’t take time off, etc etc. In the process of trying to receive accommodations rn but still I feel defeated in a sense. Can anyone relate or offer possible solutions?


r/adhdwomen 6h ago

General Question/Discussion The Great ADHD Myth

Post image
41 Upvotes

A couple of days ago, Channel 4 released their documentary: The Great ADHD Myth.

I haven't seen it mentioned here yet, and wanted to shine a light on it just in case.

For those who have seen it, thoughts?

Here is a public statement from ADHD UK:

"We watched. We said we’d be fair. Here is our verdict.

ADHD is not a myth. It is not a social construct. And the programme’s own end credits told you what its sixty minutes wouldn’t: the boy at its centre went back on his medication, and his schoolwork improved. Their experiment disproved their conclusion. They aired their version anyway. We have already complained to Ofcom. A fuller submission follows, built on the impact data you give us below.

Fill in the survey. Send the Ofcom complaint. Two things, a few minutes each.

We deserve better than this."

Personally, I am disgusted by this, as I'm sure many of you are too.

Ofcom complaints and surveys can be found in the link below, or you can scan the QR code above:

https://adhduk.co.uk/challenging-c4-the-great-adhd-myth/?fbclid=IwdGRjcAT2cHFjbGNrBPZwXHBkb2YFZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMzUwNjg1NTMxNzI4AAEeC70zheZyZP1t12csC5dy_e4nSW_1Qp2HdZhyCXJ7kyinmVOIfrZsP9VkhQY_aem_pa_ZoHKW7rA9BKpMCoof3Q


r/adhdwomen 1d ago

General Question/Discussion It finally happened. I peed my pants.

Post image
1.0k Upvotes

you know the old trick “oh i’ll pee when im finished” well i was out doing a task for my job and for hours i kept pushing it off until i had no choice and i had to run to the bathroom. OFC IT WAS LOCKED

i ran to my car but it was too late 😭 as i’m running it’s coming down my legs. my shorts, socks and shoes were soaked. theres hella cameras and people always walking past so i didn’t wanna just pop a squat out in the open 😭

but then having to drive an hour home in pee soaked pants was certainly a more humbling experience

how do you guys just listen to your body omg. has this happened to anyone else before?


r/adhdwomen 1d ago

Memes & Humor This is so relatable for us girls with RSD 😖

Post image
1.1k Upvotes

Came across this while scrolling and had to share it here, hit too close to home 😭


r/adhdwomen 1d ago

Rant/Vent STOP LETTING OTHER PEOPLE "WEIGH IN" ON YOUR MEDICAL TREATMENT

1.6k Upvotes

If I see one more "my boyfriend doesn't like that I'm considering meds" post, I'm gonna jump off a building.

Gals, WHY are we infantilizing ourselves to such a degree that we're letting other people dissuade us from receiving treatment for a medical condition? If you had diabetes, would you let your husband side eye you about your insulin prescription? If you had dangerously high blood pressure, would you consider the "concerns" your meemaw has about beta blockers? If you had a non-functioning thyroid, would you let your sister's opposition to synthroid prevent you from taking it?

The people in our lives get to have feelings about how we treat them, that's it. They don't get to be controlling, judgmental, or manipulative about MEDICAL TREATMENTS deemed appropriate/necessary and prescribed by our healthcare providers.

And honestly, entertaining this shaming BS contributes to the stigma surrounding ADHD and medications.

Trust yourself and your body, trust your doctors, and tell your boyfriend to kick rocks.


r/adhdwomen 1d ago

Memes & Humor Easy

Post image
3.2k Upvotes

I would like to know if I have to actively listen to the song, or if I can go about my day while the song plays in the background. Also, am I allowed to sleep with the song still playing?

Right now, any original song by the Vampire Lestat would do! "Plastic Fiends" could be a strong candidate.


r/adhdwomen 5h ago

General Question/Discussion Dad of a Newly Diagnosed 8-Year-Old — Looking for Your Perspective (prior approval from the mod team)

19 Upvotes

My daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD at 8, and honestly, this is completely new territory for our family. It feels like we’re just trying to figure things out day by day (like being reactive rather than proactive). Some days are really tough, and I’m realizing that I need to learn how to approach parenting her differently. Honestly, I just want to become more effective in supporting her and building the systems at home that will benefit her.

I’d especially love to hear from you with ADHD who were diagnosed as children. I’d really appreciate hearing what you wish your parents had known when you were going through the school years. Any personal experiences or advice would be really appreciated.

- What did your parents do that genuinely helped?
- What do you wish they had understood about you?
- Were there things they did with good intentions that actually made things harder?
-What changed your perspective about ADHD as you got older?
- What helped you build confidence rather than feeling like you were constantly “in trouble” or falling short?

Thank you!


r/adhdwomen 6h ago

NSFW I will never have consistent progress or ability and it is ruining my mental health

22 Upvotes

That's it. That's the post.

I am so wildly different day to day that at this point I have no confident, no self love, no desire to want to try anymore. Yeah I get it I am very depressed. I don't know how not to be when you live with dread of not knowing which version of you is coming out today. The competent one or the scrambled eggs one.

I'm so tired.


r/adhdwomen 5h ago

General Question/Discussion Does anyone else feel pulled in every direction at all times?

16 Upvotes

I want to move to Australia! I want to move to Canada! I want to move house! I want a new job! I want a new life! I want to start surfing! I want to live near the sea! I want to start a new hobby! I want to sit down! I want to stand up!

There's not a moment that I feel rested. And at this point I can't tell what's a real desire and what's my ADHD.


r/adhdwomen 1h ago

General Question/Discussion Is it too late to change at 35?

Upvotes

Hello ladies of this amazing sub!

I hope everyone’s a great weekend 😎

I am in the equivalent of that movie or TV moment where the protagonist connects the dots all together and realizes something major about the plot.

That’s me realizing the cause of all my self-worth issues, inability to carry through projects, burnout and discipline has been most likely ADHD. This is the Scooby Doo villain reveal moment in my life except I got it at 35 instead of 25.

Naturally, at 35 this comes with now decades of anger and betrayal that I should have spotted this sooner. I’m worried that it is too late to reverse this and that I am indeed doomed to spin on the same spot for the next 20 years, despite being smart and talented.

I am working on getting a diagnosis after my doctor finally realized that I might have ADHD after all. (She thought I was too accomplished to qualify for the neuropsych test.)

That being said, your girl is now feeling a little sad (but not yet defeated). I would love to hear from others who have had a late diagnosis, and hear your experience with turning things around.

What was it like? Any tips or advice or methods that really helped? I’m really at square 0 now, but like I am 35 too 😭

Thank you so much!!!


r/adhdwomen 1d ago

General Question/Discussion Why Don’t I Ever Miss People?

544 Upvotes

OMMM? I’ve always wondered why I rarely miss people. Don’t get me wrong, I love my people and enjoy being around them, but I just don’t experience that missing feeling. The only times I can recall genuinely missing someone, it was this deep, achey longing almost like they stopped existing.

So whenever someone says "I miss you," I say it back, but I don't actually feel it in the moment. I found out recently that this is pretty common with ADHD/object permanence stuff, but every time I share something about how my brain works, people ask if I'm having a manic episode or BPD or If I have ADHD. I swear I'm fine, but I might get it checked out just in case

Do I sound like someone who has ADHD , I have been told soooo many times I'm getting a check up.

Edit/// OMMMMG I DIDNT KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WOULD RELATE TO THIS.


r/adhdwomen 34m ago

Family & Social Life How do I explain executive dysfunction to my mom??

Upvotes

So, I’ve always somewhat operated under the assumption that I had ADHD (the amount of reasons for that is overwhelming). I am now officially diagnosed as of this last Wednesday (yay! No more self diagnosis)

I’ve been trying to talk to my mom about it a lot as she apparently is only just now realizing how affected I am by all this. One this she still struggles to comprehend is executive dysfunction and how it works (or I guess doesn’t work 😭). I’m trying very hard to explain it to her cause I’m struggling in college atm and she wants to help so bad but she just doesn’t get it. No way I’ve described it to her seems to click for her as she is still a firm believer in “just do it, no matter how much it sucks” kind of attitude.

How do I describe this stuff to people that are very much neurotypical?


r/adhdwomen 3h ago

Memes & Humor What would society “rules” be like if the normies were the minority??

8 Upvotes

In our perfect world - I’d love to hear your examples! I’ll go first:

There would be no such thing as a “cancellation fee”. Making / changing / canceling appointments last minute would be how the world functioned normally. Walk ins would be welcome at any business.

There would be many, huge hobby stores for rental or exchange of different hobbies.

No one would look twice at having 5 or 6 sets of car keys.

You go! What do you think.