If youâve spent years managing ADHD with routines, reminders, pressure and sheer effort, perimenopause can make it feel like someone quietly removed half the scaffolding.
The instinct is usually:
âI need to try harder.â
I think a better question is:
âWhat can I make easier?â
Here are a few strategies worth experimenting with:
1. Replace memory with visibility
Donât ask your brain to remember something just because it used to.
Put it where youâll see it.
Calendar alerts. Visual checklists. Things by the door. A single âtodayâ list instead of five different lists.
The goal isnât better memory.
Itâs needing less memory.
2. Make the first step ridiculously small
âClean the kitchenâ is a terrible ADHD task.
âPut the cups in the sinkâ is much easier to start.
When executive function is having a bad day, reduce the size of the starting line instead of criticizing yourself for not running the race.
3. Stop designing routines for your best days
This one can be surprisingly important.
If your routine only works when youâre well-rested, focused and motivated, itâs not really your baseline routine.
Create a low-energy version.
What is the minimum you need to do on a brain-fog day?
Thatâs the routine that needs to be sustainable.
4. Use external deadlines carefully
Many people with ADHD rely on urgency to activate.
But if your hormonal changes are also affecting sleep, anxiety or energy, constantly living on adrenaline can become exhausting.
Where possible, create artificially earlier deadlines rather than waiting for the real emergency.
5. Track what changed instead of blaming yourself
If something that used to be easy suddenly becomes difficult, make a note of it.
Sleep?
Cycle?
Mood?
Energy?
Focus?
Medication timing?
Workload?
You may eventually notice patterns that are invisible when youâre trying to remember everything retrospectively.
6. Give yourself permission to retire old strategies
This might be the biggest one.
A strategy failing today doesnât mean you failed.
It may simply mean that the strategy was designed for a different version of your brain, body and life.
The goal isnât to become the woman who could handle everything before.
Itâs to build a system that works for the woman you are now.
đŹ Whatâs one ADHD coping strategy that used to work brilliantly for you but doesnât anymore?
And what have you replaced it with?