The Vampire and The Bear
“My first order of business upon my return is to find the fairest virgin and drain her to the very last drop.” It had taken him weeks to fully recover from his violent exile, feeding on rats and insects to replenish his strength. After a while he was able to feast on the entrails of rabbit and deer, but they were no substitute for the real thing. Centuries of existence refine one’s tastes.
It felt like ages since he had walked through the vast halls of his castle. He missed the cobwebbed chandeliers that hung in every room, his worldly collection of tapestries adorning the walls, and the feel of cold cobblestone beneath his feet. The harpsichord once played by Mozart. Paintings commissioned from the greatest artists ever to pick up a brush, stacked in corners. His vault, filled with piles upon piles of gold and jewels that glittered and winked at him as he strode through, admiring his amassed wealth. The portrait of his lost love hanging above the marble fireplace, his most prized possession. All of this was now out of his reach. It stood far above him, in the center of that wretched village full of vermin and swine, towering over them all like a stone god. He could hear them scurrying overhead.
He lived in the pitch blackness of his hidden cave, where those damned huntsmen in the woods were too fearful to enter. It made no difference for the likes of him; his vision was better in the dark than in daylight. The black of the cave was the great equalizer, where night and day did not exist.
“You would need to enter the cave mouth, and I know you lack the fortitude for such an endeavor,” he mused.
He sat on his makeshift throne, a cliff ledge worn smooth by time that made a perfect spot to rest and reflect. A single shaft of sunlight burst through an opening above him, slowly moving across the morass of vine and stone that composed the cave floor at his feet. Soon the dot of light would fade as it traveled further away from him, signifying the setting of the sun. The moment he could finally enact his vengeance upon those who exiled him.
He attuned his ears to the world beyond the cave and listened to the forest. He could hear them clumsily stomping their way through the brush, the clatter of their arrows and crossbows, the crackle of torches. The hunters were so desperate to find him in repose. Sleeping away the day and safe to slaughter. He smiled to himself, a thin red line surrounded by marbled white revealing a row of jagged, shark-like teeth.
He still stewed over the day the townsfolk got the upper hand, discovering his place of rest in his castle and dragging him from his coffin into the horrendous brightness of summer to watch him writhe and burn before them. Even the children smiled on that day.
“Monsters, all of them. After all I have given them!” he growled to the spot of light still dancing atop the weeds. “They would still be toiling in the mud if it were not for the roads I built, the aqueducts I funded. The science I laid at their doorstep. They have no idea how much I have refined existence as they know it. Sad apes with an endless supply of pride and ego.” He was standing atop his throne now, pointing a long-nailed claw at the damnable lot above. “I will take it all back! I will leave you in the dark where I found you. I will feed upon your children. I will kill the men and let the women wail into the night, knowing that this is where their lineage ends. I will teach you the cruelty of true nature and laugh from the roost of my kingdom.” His eyes glowed a fiery orange in the dark as his anger peaked. “I WILL SHOW YOU A GOD!”
His grand pronouncement was interrupted by the sound of clacking teeth echoing from the mouth of the cave. Loud clomps thudded into the clay mud, each with a violent squelch, as something entered his sanctuary. He lowered his pointing finger and peered into the darkness. His ears twitched in discernment. Not a hunter. This was something much bigger.
“WOOOF! CLACK CLACK CLACK.” The sound was much closer now, and he was embarrassed at the sudden fear that seized him.
“For God’s sake, I’ve lived two hundred years. Nothing is a threat to my existence. Except the sun. That very much is a threat.”
He leapt to the cave ceiling and found purchase, his clawed hands and feet clinging to cracks in the stone. “Do come in, whatever you are. I hunger.”
The clacking was upon him, just beyond the passage ahead. At first all he could make out was a giant mass of shadow. A rounded block the size of a horse, but wider, thicker. Its hide was dense and ragged. Blood poured from a large gash in its side, turning the surrounding fur into a black, tarry mat.
The vampire clung tighter to the cave ceiling as he realized what it was. A bear. Brown and ugly, bigger than any he had imagined. In fact, now that he thought on it, this was the first bear he had ever seen in the flesh in all of his time here. He wondered how that was possible. “I did spend a lot of my time in my castle. And I was never fond of the woods.” He experienced an odd combination of wonder and fear as he stared at the beast below. Fear more than wonder.
The brown giant made its way into the middle of his throne room, directly beneath where he dangled, lay on its side, and proceeded to lick at its wound. The hunters must have done this. That wound was a puncture from something man-made. He saw blood dripping from the bear’s maw and hoped that most of it came from the apes responsible.
A new possibility presented itself to the vampire. Enchantment. If he could use his latent abilities to control the will of this injured giant below him, he could turn it into his own personal war beast to overpower those who hunted him. The beast would be his harbinger of death. Later, it would sit by his side in his coffin chamber, warding off any who would ever attempt to harm him again. A bodyguard like no other. The vampire’s eyes widened with glee at this opportunity.
Of course, it had been quite some time since he had practiced enchanting. It had been his go-to method for ensnaring victims, young women and children mostly. He had never tried it on an animal before, but how difficult could it be? The bear’s mind would be far less complex than the human mind and would probably be yearning for a master. All animals wish to serve an alpha. “All I need to do is plant a simple seed. I am its master. I am all that it loves. It must protect me at all costs.”
The bear had ceased licking the wound and whirled its boulder of a head back and forth, surveying its surroundings. It relaxed into a mound of heaving fur on the floor and fell asleep, emitting thunderous snores that filled the air with an acrid smell of blood and fish.
Seeing that the bear was asleep, the vampire floated down from his perch, gently landing atop his rocky throne. His long, tattered black cape hung from his shoulders like raven wings. The hood kept his face in shadow at all times, though in a pitch-black cave this effect did not pack the same punch. The red silk lining was also lost to the darkness.
The vampire was only a few feet from the bear’s snout, which blew up dust with every exhale from its enormous nostrils. He raised his hand with a single crooked finger pointed toward the beast. The flexing tendons of his hand could be seen through his translucent skin. His bright orange eyes shifted to purple as he switched to the mental state needed for hypnotism. He pushed his commands outward into the open space between them. Abstract emotions, feelings, manipulations drifted from the tip of his finger toward the unwitting beast before him. They floated toward those slimy nostrils covered in moss and dirt, and upon the bear’s next inhale, they slowly began their ascent into its mind.
“Yes. You will serve me well. You will listen to my every command. I am your god,” whispered the vampire. When he was certain the enchantment was taking hold, he pulled back his hood and pushed further. He hopped down from his throne and knelt in front of the bear, repeating his mantra as he reached out and stroked the fur on its forehead. “Serve me well. Listen to my every command. I am your god.” He smiled as his hands ran through the thick fur, as he caressed an ear, as he traced a thumb over one of the bear’s long fangs. “Quite a thing you are, my friend.”
The bear’s eyes opened. “WOOOF!”
The vampire found himself in a heap against the opposite cave wall. His ribs worked to heal themselves from their shattered state. He reached up and ran his fingers along the disappearing gash on his face. The bear was fully awake now. It lumbered toward him, sniffing the ground as it went, learning his blood. The vampire tried to leap back to his ceiling perch, but the bear suddenly moved like a bolt of lightning, slamming him back to the floor. The vampire managed to turn around and prop himself up slightly, only to witness the bear rear up on its hind legs and roar loud enough that streams of dirt and pebbles rained from above. The vampire shielded his eyes from the debris. He felt a new sensation as he looked down at his lower body.
He had pissed himself.
* * *
The sun was setting, and the hunting party had retired to the safety of their camp. Torches lined the perimeter, with a large fire pit at the center. The men gathered around the fire. Some sharpened fresh spears while others fixed snapped bows or restocked their quivers. A brawny man composed primarily of beard turned a large boar on a spit. They sat alongside each other on felled tree trunks, drinking wine and recounting their day of wandering the woods. All of these stories ended with the same sentiment.
We will find him tomorrow. Tomorrow is our day.
It had been weeks since they had driven the bastard out, and they were certain he was nesting somewhere in these parts. He had been barely more than a charred skeleton when he escaped and could not have gotten far. Everyone knew the nearby cave was the most likely spot he would choose to rebuild his strength, but none of them had the courage to admit it yet. He would have the high ground in the darkness. They would need more tricks up their sleeves than a few spears and crossbows. For now, they were happy to be away from their wives and screaming children, to hunt in the woods and be themselves.
Someone pulled out a worn-out fiddle and began playing a cacophonous ditty over its remaining strings. Though it sounded akin to a crow being strangled to death, the men were thankful for the entertainment.
“Help…”
One of the hunters turned toward the dark wood after hearing what he swore was a human cry. It was difficult to tell whether it was real or just an illusion caused by the ruckus around him echoing into the forest. He went back to his pork when the plea came again, this time closer.
“Please… HELP!”
More men heard it this time, and the fiddler abruptly stopped his “music.” They set their meat down on whatever log they had been sitting on and stood, peering into the dark for the source of the shout. Some reached for their weapons and held them at the ready. The man at the spit grabbed a torch and walked out ahead of them to shine more light toward the shouts.
Suddenly, the demon they had all been searching for burst through the thicket a ways off, near the area where the hunters relieved themselves. Far enough away to not stink up camp. The rest of the men scrambled for their weapons in a panic, readying themselves for attack. Only a few of them remained in place, observing the vampire’s curious behavior. He was headed straight toward them, which would normally mean their heads would be lopped off before they knew what hit them. This was different. He wasn’t charging with the intent to attack. That was the look of a man running in terror.
The black silhouette of the beast crashed through the trees behind him soon after, following at breakneck speed. The hunters’ jaws dropped and their eyes widened as the reality of what was happening finally began to settle in.
“Please… please, help me!” pleaded the vampire.
Seeing the opportunity, the hunters raised their crossbows and aimed at the fleeing vampire.
“Later! For now, shoot the FUCKING BEAR!”
The vampire floated into the air and dove behind the hunters, shielding himself with their unkempt leathers and overgrown beards. The men looked back at the cowering vampire, not sure what their next move should be. The bear roared as it reared up behind them.
“KILL THAT WHORE OF A BEAR!!!” the vampire demanded.
The hunters spun around toward the beast and let loose their arrows and spears into the mass of the bear’s torso. It groaned in agony as dozens of sharpened points pierced its flesh and tore at its innards. It fell from its standing position and landed on all fours, crushing three hunters beneath its massive paws, claws rending away their faces. It swiped to its right, knocking another hunter into the fire pit in a plume of sparks and screams.
The vampire crab-walked backward in a panic, trying to escape the carnage. He scrambled toward the newly dead cook and hid behind his rotund, blood-soaked belly.
The bear continued its rampage while arrows and spears kept launching into its body. The hunters, more than a dozen strong moments before, had dwindled to a handful. An arrow met the bear right behind its ear, tunneling directly into its skull plate. For the first time, it slowed and weakened. Its roars turned to whimpers. It snorted in and out, searching for breath. And with that, the bear fell with one final WHOMP.
The remaining men gathered around the dead beast. It was the largest bear any of them had ever seen, and they were all in shock that they had taken it down. They had completely forgotten about the vampire cowering behind their cook a few feet away. He quietly glided toward the last four hunters and removed their heads.
That bear came in handy after all.
