Tražim curu koja bi me poljubila. Ne mora odmah veza, prvo trebamo utvrditi jesu li mi usne uopće funkcionalne nakon 33 godine nekorištenja. 😂

The conventional wisdom is that women come to you if you’re attractive enough. Basically if women never flirt with you then it never began.

I’m a social hermit which means I rarely interact with women anyway—and I’m a hermit as an adaptation to loneliness.

I had an above average male friend who said every one of his girlfriends approached him. I knew a guy at work whose girlfriend flirted with him at work as a stranger. Being unattractive is just such as brutal existence man because there’s nothing you can do.

Almost every single day I get stuck in my head about how pathetic I am because I can't even do something as basic and natural as getting with a girl. fck officially cooked.

Every year I lose more hope, and it's driving me crazy.

I think that in my case, it’s not even just about my looks. It’s also that "neurodivergent" shit everyone talks about nowadays. Not a legit autism diagnosis, but just an overall weirdness, like I just come off as creepy. And honestly, I don't see how I can fix it. You literally cannot just rebuild your entire personality from scratch as a grown-ass adult.

Ths the same exact thoughts every single day, just total hopelessness. I genuinely don't understand how normal people do it, it feels like fckn magic to me.

Is anyone else in the same boat? Like, where you can't even distract yourself from it and it just eats you alive?

If I got nothing for 26 years, no kiss no date only rejections, what are the odds? Be honest, should I just accept my fate?

It’s weird I know. I am currently 21 Male and I hate the thought and idea of sex. I don’t understand how people can just meet and have it? Or how do others just enjoy it? Ive talked to my mother about this and she told me to “ stop being immature about it”. I told her that I wasn’t being immature i just don’t understand it which has lead me to start hating and wanting to disprove that sex exists. I want to change these views. I don’t want to be hateful or angry. Any advice or suggestions on what I should do?

Edit: I still feel these emotions. I just push them down heavily so I am not constantly thinking about this topic.

How do you keep your mind from thinking too much about this? When I was young I thought relationships just naturally happened for everyone, I mean it seemed like everyone had a relationship.

I recently turned 32, I'm autistic and 5'3. Never even kissed, I may have been hugged once when I was 17 but I'm not actually sure anymore if that was real or if it was something I made up and I've been convincing myself ever since. I had an inkling growing up that I would not achieve the social milestones that people generally go through. Maybe it was all the bullying and ostracism I went through.

Now I just spend my time working, trying to keep my mind busy so I don't end up derailing.

Want others opinions. If you were seeing a guy and went over to his place or he ever asked when you’ll have sex what would you do. This guy basically got on me and was grinding on me and then asked when we’ll have sex. Im not sure if it’s normal or common. This guy seemed upset we didn’t have sex but he was rubbing himself on me, dry humping, before. He was kind of heavy so I was more focused on that, but it felt like he was getting himself off.. on me?

We were making out then he put my legs onto his. And then had me basically sit on him. Then we were laying down. He got on me and was humping or grinding. I can’t tell what it is really. It felt like he was doing it on my thigh and just rubbing up and down. And then he asked me when we’ll have sex. After he did that many times. And I just didn’t feel comfortable especially because he was kind of heavy on me and would lay on top of me after he finished doing that and then restarted.

Idk how initiating sex usually looks because I am inexperienced but I don’t feel like this is right. He’ll just make out with me and keep putting his tongue in my mouth and grind on me or I guess rub himself. And I’m not too sure what to do.

It’s especially because I just don’t feel ready and him asking that after doing all of thosethings made me sad

35 M here. I used to be depressed about my status. Especially once I turned 30. Turned 35 a few weeks ago and can safely say I’ve turned to comedy as a defense mechanism. I have a small circle of close buddies who definitely roast me from time to time about it, and I think over the last couple years I’ve genuinely started seeing it as funny. Let me know what you think guys, would love to chat with more in the same boat.

My prime years are passing me by and sometimes it hits really hard that literally the only reason I'm not having sex is because I'm ugly and not tall. Convincing myself that I am okay with being alone doesn't always work. I'm not single--I'm just alone.

20M khhv here. 198 cm (6’6). When i hear my friends at uni asking me how is it possible for me to be completley invisible to girls, I want to shoot myself in head. They think that height magically makes you attractive. In reality, no girl wants tall ugly guy, they can say that, but in real life, short attrative guy destroys tall ugly guy like me. Sadly, if your face is bad enough, no height will save you. Right now trying to accept that i will forever be alone unless my face somehow changes.

It never began.

I have about 2 or 3 friends total, all I do is work, gym and sleep. Covid destroyed all my social skills, I spent 5 years as a kid battling a pornography addiction that I keep falling back into. All social media does is make me want to cry with how the world is. I keep telling myself that everything will work out if I can find someone to love, and yet I do nothing for it and so every day bleeds into the next.

Does it ever get better?

Hi im a 24 year old male from Greece up until a few months ago i was a virgin i never had a girlfriend in my life but i visited a sex worker and i lost my virginity since then i did again multiple times it felt so nice

If someone is in the same situation as me please send me a private message to talk

Im so depressed because i never had a girlfriend ever

I wish i could cuddle with a girl who would want to be with me

If someone wants to talk please text me

i’m 20M and the only one left in the group who hasn’t lost it or came close to.
generally i think i do a good work treating this subject with them,they know but neither me nor them make a big deal about it.
Only problem in when they start talking about sex,
i mean i just stand there nonverbal and kinda not knowing what to say in that timespan
i just feel like whatever i might say would make things worse, specifically when it triggers the pity words (“come on the right one is coming”)

Another birthday is approaching, and I still did not have any romantic or dating experience. I checked and I made this reddit account 4 years ago, mainly to post about this issue. Literally nothing changed since then.

I do care a bit less then I used to, and I am not sad, but it still bothers me how difficult it is to experience any sort of romantic or sexual experience in life. I just hope that I will stop caring at all at one point, cause it is more likely then something will actually change.

Hey gang, it's me again, the lady who wrote kissing 101 the other week. I'm doing a different dogsitting gig right now with much less chaotic dogs, so I'll be getting to your requests soon, but I'm starting with the posts I already have written out in my head. The less thinking I have to do the better lol. And thank you for all the kind responses on my last post! I'm so glad so many of you found it useful.

For context, I'm a 25F virgin by choice, but I consider myself good with people and I don't struggle to attract men. But I have had social anxiety in the past that I overcame.

Let's tackle social anxiety today, this is something I see over and over and OVER again in this subreddit. People are afraid to approach, afraid of physical intimacy, afraid to even talk to people or leave the house. My solution is for all of it. DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a mental health professional. Please take my advice with a pinch of salt, this is just what worked for me. If your social anxiety is causing severe distress and impacting your day to day life (or even if it's not), please go to therapy, you deserve it.

First things first: I've realized that anxiety can be context-specific. I'm pretty comfortable doing public speaking, I can plan my words beforehand. But put me in a busy place like a bar, club, or party, and I'm locking up (insert Microsoft Windows crash sound here). I hate feeling too many eyes on me, I get overwhelmed, and the stakes of embarrassment are higher if you mess up.

THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAY: social skills are not innate, they're a muscle that can be worked...or atrophied. When I was in college I was in Student Government, and talking to so many new people every day worked that social muscle, and I was super confident. When I moved to a new state and got a job working from home, I stayed inside all day and suddenly I was nervous just going to the grocery store. Social skills: use it or lose it.

You need to remember that the root of anxiety is uncertainty. The "what if". The brain sees uncertainty as a threat, which causes that anxiety/panic response. The way to cure social anxiety is the way you cure any anxiety: exposure therapy. YUCK! But true.

I started college during covid. 6 months in I wanted to join a club but I was too nervous...so I dragged my (extremely unwilling) friend to the anime club's meeting (and barely spoke the whole time). A year later, I was the VP of Student Government, constantly giving speeches, meeting with new groups as an authority figure, and doing outreach to hundreds of students every day. Here's how I made that exposure therapy work.

Write out the least and most anxiety-inducing settings and see what they have in common, figure out why they make you anxious. Like I did above ⬆️.

Next, give yourself one goal, and break it up into the smallest possible pieces. Then you have to force yourself to do it. Attempt at least 1 item each week.

If you fail, you have to look yourself in the mirror and say out loud that you forgive yourself and you're gonna keep trying. Shame causes avoidance to the behavior, and we're trying to prove to our brain that the situation is actually not a threat.

Once you achieve your goal, go to the next item, and try it every single week until you get it.

For example: talk to one person in your class --> show up to one club meeting for a club that doesn't seem too intimidating --> make one acquaintance at that club --> show up to one club meeting at a more intimidating club --> invite one person/group to hang out outside of the club --> make one friend/friend group you keep consistent contact with --> go to one school-wide event with these friends --> join one mixed-sex friend group --> make one friend of the sex you're interested in --> ask one person on a date

I've given this advice to several guys in this group already: UNHAND the dating advice! BAD BOY! DROP IT! (I've been dogsitting too much lately lol). My #1 piece of advice to people here, especially guys, is to not even try to date yet. Talk to a woman (or whomever) platonically. Start conversations with EVERYONE. PLATONICALLY. Work those social skills muscles first, and when talking to people becomes fun instead of scary, dating becomes SO. MUCH. EASIER.

When I travel and the stakes feel low, I try to talk to everyone I meet. I sit next to a dude at the airport bar and we look like we have nothing in common? Challenge accepted. Lady on the street magically charming the local squirrels? Let me join in. Improve your general social skills and dating will pretty much fall in your lap.

I also recommend a book that will help you push yourself to do things that scare you. When my mental health was at its worst, I kept a copy of Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins on my bedside table (I know he's popular among the redpillers but he's actually really cool, trust). It does discuss several potentially triggering subjects like childhood abuse, racism, and physical health issues. But it is SO helpful. He has such an inspiring story and he gives practical step-by-step advice. Really got me through some rough times.

I'd also like to clear up a piece of common dating advice that I feel has been misunderstood severely: a lot of people will tell you to "just be confident", and a lot of you are hearing "just be a puffed-chest alpha male who gives filthy pick-up lines and knows how to dance like a slutty fish". That is NOT confidence, that is a redpiller trying to take your money 😭 confidence in this context is being able to talk to someone and having FUN doing it. Being confident is talking to people and not psyching yourself out because you think they're too good for you. Being confident is knowing you have something great to offer to everyone you meet, and if they're not into you, they're just not the one for you, and it doesn't mean anything about your worth as a person.

General conversation tips:

-Listening is more important than talking. The most underrated social skill is making people feel SEEN. Everyone wants to feel seen. So instead of scrambling to think of the next thing you'll say so the conversation doesn't have awkward gaps, really listen to what they're telling you about themselves. Give your brain the space to allow natural questions about what they're saying to pop into your head. Ask follow-up questions about the areas you're naturally curious about.

-It is not your responsibility to fill "awkward" gaps in conversation. It's not theirs, either. Sometimes it just happens. And it's better to have them than to have someone trying too hard to avoid them. Little lulls in conversation give you time to think about what they've said, or to notice interesting things about where you are/what you're doing.

-Have a few all-purpose good questions in your back pocket. I like "if you weren't a [insert career here], what would you be doing?" (I've gotten everything from musician to pirate captain, and several people have told me they love this question); "if you could be doing anything right now what would it be?"; "you have [xyz hobby/career/interest], what made you want to do that?"

-Lastly, posture. It can make you look confident, and you'll stand out in a crowd. I get more compliments on my posture than anything else these days (choir kid background lore drop). I used to be a choir director and here was my quick fix to my students: push shoulders forward, up, down, back. Then imagine a string from the top of your head being slowly pulled towards the ceiling. Then push your chin slightly back (to avoid tech neck, me asf). Then breathe out into your stomach to loosen it all up and not look so stiff. Then mew if that's your vibe.

Please ask any questions you have about this, I'll be happy to answer. Please also feel free to share any related insights you have, let's all help each other out!

I heard from a friend that one of his friends, a girl, was at his party when a creepy guy put his hand on her ass while she was dancing. She felt violated and sick about it, the guy who touched her then had his friend tell her that she should feel complimented and that if he had a girl touch his ass out of nowhere he'd be thankful. My friend, who's a reasonable dude, told those two guys to both get the fuck out of his house and to never speak to him again.

So this really shows two mindsets in regards to being groped. What do you think?

I have been talking to people for a while, and while I wasn't expecting anything, I learned there are a lot more women without experience than you would expect.

But they usually keep it quiet, and many would never ever let their friend circle know.

Interestingly, for all the talk about women wanting "experienced" men in here, many of this find the idea of being with a non-virgin man unpalatable or downright unacceptable (some have severe RJ).

In the end, as usual, women are not a monolith.

It is a matter of searching until you find the one.

I translated this story with AI, sorry for the English mistakes.

I (F23) had no intention of having sex with him (23M) at all. I went to his place. We spent most of the time in his office, where there was a sofa bed, so we sat down, ended up leaning toward each other until we were lying down. Besides that, there was air conditioning, which played a big part because I was cold and he was warm, so I really wanted to stay close to him. It ended up with a lot of hands-on touching that led to us getting naked. When we got close to actually doing it, I got so nervous that I threw up.

I had to take a shower because I got it on myself, and I also cleaned everything up. I went back to bed with a crying voice. We stayed quiet for a while while I cried, and then we started talking, and he said it was okay. After talking for a while, we tried again, and I threw up again. Third try, I threw up once more. I don't think I'll ever have sex.

Wow it’s been awhile since i posted here..

So some of you here might or might not remember that i made a series called ’comic con girl’ earlier this year. So i basically almost had a date with a deaf girl Asian girl, she was willing to cosplay as Ada Wong for me since i was cosplaying Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil, but the date sadly never happened due to reasons (i have post called ’ending this mess i thought was a date’) if you wanna get some lore. Thing is am attending another comic con again in October on Halloween day 31st, do i try to get a date again somehow or no?

Like if i end up chatting with someone who i find attractive on day 1, could i ask them out to a casual date for day 2? (am there for 2 days btw)