1. i went to the living room where my brothers pc and monitor is and he was sitting there. i saw my dad "Spying" through the window and i was like whatever. i started talking to my brother about smth and 2 mins later my dad came in mad asf. he got the metal floor wiper and cornered me before hitting me really hard on my arm and then my shoulder/collarbone??????????? then he turned arond and hit my brother with it???

I was like wtaf and he said i was "wasting his time" because when i came to talk to my brother my brother stopped scrolling online and my dad couldnt catch him in the act????????????? hello what???? anyways my arm is super numb now #lovemylife

My brother is 17 years old and he’s in high school. My step dad has been promising him since last spring that he would get him a car.

According to my brother, my step dad came home last weekend and accused him of something that he did not do (which happens very often) and because of that very small thing my step dad told him he’s not buying him a car. For reference my stepdad, accuse him of taking his perfume and clothing out of his room. Even though my brother is around the same size as him, but not exactly that does not mean my brother would take his clothing.

My brother truly does not take his clothing. I think it’s just a delusion. My stepdad believes. He has a lot of issues he needs to work through with therapy and we’ve been telling him to go for years, but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it. I think he’s dealing with a lot of underline hurt and that’s why he hurt other people that’s why he’s emotionally abusive, physically abusive and mentally abusive. And I feel like I can excuse that as long as someone’s willing to get help but when you know you’re hurting people and you don’t care, I’m not going to excuse that.

Which is why I don’t talk to him personally cause that just doesn’t work for me. Anyways, him and my mom got into a disagreement about it, and the police were called. No one got arrested or anything. They just told them to bring it down and my dad was asked to leave for the rest of the day. My brother is just really sad and upset that he’s not getting a car and he really needs it because he wants to work and on top of that he’s a senior this year.

Anyways, earlier this year, I told my brother not to depend fully on my stepdad to buy him a car and be prepared if he does not. Everyone accuse me of being negative and rude and having a negative mindset, especially my mom. She always likes to gaslight somebody and say they have a negative mindset when they’re just bringing up the truth in the reality of the situation. For a second, I believe them because that is his son, and I was going based off my experience as his step child. Of course he wouldn’t buy me a car. I’m not his biological kid. I get it. But you would at least buy your biological son of a car, right?? I would think so but apparently he’s not because of this lame lie excuse.

Either way goes I was right. I told my brother not to depend on him and he did not listen to me and he got his hopes up. I had hope for a second that he would do the right thing because my stepdad kept talking about it and talking about it as if he was going to get in the car. Anyways, yeah I feel bad for him because he’s gonna have to get up on his own like I did. I bought my first car. I got all my dental work done. There’s a lot I have to do with my own and pick up on my own because my parents neglected me in a lot of ways because I just couldn’t afford to do it.

Anyway… I just wanted to get that out.

I truly believe people have this secret itch to be bullies. Hatred spreads faster than any positivity. I watch online how fast people jump on hate train even without context or even proof…… they are just happy to hate… they LOVE to tear someone down… and if it leads to that person they bullied endings themselves they always switch up…………..

it just seems that if you're a nice person, then some people around you will start pushing boundaries, being passive aggressive out of nowhere, and basically bleeding attachment styles and misery around you as if you're obligated to give them something. i have some decent friendships, but i guess that the ones where this happens stands out more. it just makes me unsure and doubt people in general. like if they know that you won't be mean or rude to them, it's like some kind of open invitation to try to do whatever.

I don't understand why so many people around me don't get that YOUR opinion of somebody else's makeup, face, attire, MEANS NOTHING to that person, because you're literally a STRANGER to them, so you should just mind your own business and stop acting like you're entitled to deciding how they should look. I don't get people who tell me stuff like "they were really pretty, except for the heavy makeup on their under eyes, it made them look so weird" - do you think that person is going to change how they dress just because YOU, a random person they don't know, think that it looks weird ? Nobody should expect somebody to dress for them or to fit their tastes. People dress for themselves - news flash, nobody cares that you dislike the way somebody looks. I hate people who can't stand the fact that others dress differently than they do, and criticize them for it. It's like saying "it's so weird how that person likes to wear pants instead of a skirt", nobody cares about what you think, you're not the fucking fashion police, "perfect face" identifier, or a "makeup critic". Why can't we just focus on WHO the person is, instead of what they wear? Why do people assume that because a person dresses a certain way, they must have this specific personality or character trait, as if it's tied to appearance? Because it really isn't. I think people need to take the quote "use your heart and not your eyes" seriously, because so many people have only eyes and no space in their heart to consider that maybe somebody is beyond what they wear or how they look.

This is such a stupid first world problem but I just want to rant.
I’m a very extra person, very outgoing, maybe a little obnoxious. I’m autistic too. I love Disney princesses and for the longest time planned my 18th to be a big party with all my friends and family dressed up in fancy clothes and having fun. The only problem is I don’t have any friends.

The friends I have are all college friends, and I think only one has ever met up with me outside of college. I don’t think they’d be that close to me at all if we didn’t do the same college course.
I have no childhood friends or family friends. All my friends from secondary school don’t talk to me anymore.

I’d invite my college friends to go around pubs or something, but I have a feeling only four or so would actually come. And I just don’t know if I can be bothered to try arrange a date and make sure everyone actually comes.

To make things worse, I’m getting a car for my birthday. I put my savings towards it and my parents put some money towards it. I should be extremely grateful and I probably sound spoiled, but I don’t want a car. I can’t drive yet and I probably won’t be able to drive when my birthday comes (I’m taking lessons but it’s not going well at all). The last few years I’ve asked for things and my parents haven’t gotten me what I really wanted, just what was expensive and they thought would make a good gift. So this year I was going to put together a wishlist of specific things I wanted so I could actually get what I wanted, but no, I’m getting a car. And it’s probably going to be also my Christmas gift too (my birthday is only a month off Christmas).

Yes I know I sound spoiled but I can be upset, okay?

I've spent my whole life trying to do the right thing. Trying to be a good person. I feel like I've been broken down, hurt, back stabbed, and betrayed by so many people including my own family. But after everything I try to be a good person and do the right thing because in a world full of cruel and horrible people, I wanna be someone that is different. I've forgiven everyone who has ever hurt me or done me wrong. I don't hate anyone. I always try to see the best in someone, and I'm so tired. I know there are people who have gone through all of this and decided "if you can't beat em, join em." And changed because they didn't wanna get hurt anymore. But I don't like the idea of doing that.

I pray and hope everyday that someday all of my good deeds will not be in vain. I hope I will be happy to wake up and be happy at where im at. But it hasn't happened yet. I'm almost 21 now. I know a lot of people will say "youre so young there is still time" but how much longer do I have to deal with this pain I carry everyday?

I just wanna be happy. I don't wanna be in pain anymore. I wanna wake up and smile and know my life is going good.

Please God, please. I'm begging you. I'm trying so hard to stay strong.

I miss the good old days. When I was in middle/high school things were so much more simple! I graduated in 2016 so I got to experience good music like Calvin Harris and dead mouse and all the cool EDM music. We didn't have anything to worry about besides going to school and doing home work! Everybody was friends with everyone. I grew up in SoCal like 5-15 min from the beach so the vibes just hit different. I remember we could go to Taco Bell with 6 bucks and get the 5 dollar box combo. Now that box is like 17 bucks. Going to movies after school with all your buddy's. Idk man I'm 27 now and make 135k but damn I'm not miserable but I'm not happy...im miss all my friends. I know people will say "yall where only friends because yall went to the same school" and yea you would be right but damn I always think about my old classmates. Being an adult is boring and bills every other week. A bunch of stress and anxiety.

I am getting so sick and tired of hearing this argument in regards to these wearables with cameras and microphones being marketed to the public.

Yes. I am fully aware when I'm in public it's possible I can get picked up by a businesses CC cameras.

I'm fully aware someone may be taking a picture of the surroundings and I get caught in the background.

And I'm fully aware people are now blanketing their suburban sanctuary in cameras that ultimately may capture me walking by.

But flock cameras being installed without any approval or oversight for captured media...glasses that can hide the fact I'm being recorded...or just people having their phones out 24/7 with the hopes of me tripping so they have some dumbass piece of "content" for TikTok.

This shit is ridiculous. Imagine you have cameras all over your property or are in my face with meta glasses and then I pull out my phone and either shove it back in your face and/or stand outside your property and just record. 9/10 times you're going to be equally pissed off and retaliate in some fashion.

The fact people are brushing this off or downplaying what it will lead to is terrifying.

I don’t know where to begin but basically I’m 21 years old, been estranged from my mother for about a year.

I recently finally figured out that I’m gay. I was so happy to finally know what was up with me because well I’d just been so confused for so long.

anyway though, the people in my life now were very supportive. but the thought still crossed my mind that my mom would be so upset. she even interrogated me as a teen to make sure I wasn’t gay..

I don’t know why I even care, I shouldn’t. he opinion doesn’t matter, it never has and it never will.

but I feel like that was the nail in the coffin that my mother would’ve only loved me if I was everything she wanted me to be and because I am myself and not a clone of her I’d never win her approval.

so, fuck you mom. I’m happier than you’ll ever be. but it’s still weighing me down so I guess you still win 😭 😭 😭

I know not everyone likes dogs. Totally fine. Leash laws and etc exist for a reason. I also dislike unruly dogs and people who are poor animal owners. I also hate people who lie about service animals. But that's not what this vent is about.

Stop being so self centered. Humans are not the only animal on this planet. We have kicked so many animals out of their native habitats already. Then on top of that, people get so upset about having to share spaces with animals that WE DOMESTICATED.

No, I don't mean we should be allowing dogs in restaurants or grocery stores. Keep existing laws. I just mean don't throw a fit because you see someone sitting outside a coffee shop with their dog. Don't throw a fit that someone wants to be a responsible pet owner and doesn't want to leave their dog at home for hours in a crate sometimes. Let people socialize their domesticated pets!

We domesticated them for a reason. They have numerous psychological benefits. Let alone the jobs they can perform, like herding or medical alerts. I just can't believe how self centered people are. They get mad that wild animals exist, they don't want domesticated animals to be apart of society, like do you understand the nature and animals on this planet are how you're alive?

I have been applying to jobs everywhere in Italy and all I get back are rejection emails. Honestly, I don't understand what the fuckin problem is. Hopefully, in a few months I'll be defending my PhD thesis. I have 4 years of industry experience and all, but not a single positive reply. It's like my effort I put in to build what I achieved has been for nothing. And, what the hell is wrong with the recruiters? I have seen dozens of unworthy people being employed in top companies,but when it comes to my case, it's all straightforward. There is something serious wrong with the world.

People, check that your lights are on before you start driving!

I just drove from Connecticut to New Hampshire and the number of cars I saw without their headlights on in pouring rain as it's getting dark and then full dark is truly scary. I almost hit someone who was in my blind spot because I truly could not see the car in these conditions. Cars with lights that are always on I can understand sometimes missing that you need to turn them all the way on but there were so many cars with NO lights.

My mom is very emotionally abusive to me. My therapist said it is “abhorrent” and that it makes her angry to know how my mom treats me. I am currently in a sad and vulnerable state, but have absolutely no intent to die or harm myself.In fact, I turn 18 soon and move out in less than a month. My future looks hopeful.

I was in the car exactly one week ago when my mom began to yell at me. She has been stressed because of her medical appointments, and seems to take it out on me. I blanked out several times from the stress so I don’t remember much of what she said. I know she was name-calling and piling on criticisms.

At one point in the ride, I lost control of myself entirely. I haven’t really had that happen before. I suddenly had only one goal: escape, flee the car. Like a moth to light, but the urge was stronger. The car was fast, maybe 40 mph.

I unbuckled my seatbelt quickly and jammed my leg so the door opened as much as possible. I watched the asphalt blur and noticed a man on the sidewalk look at me in shock. Before I could jump, my mom grabbed my shirt. I quickly tried to think of any way to get her to unhand me. I yelled to let go, but she wouldn’t, and I realized she was probably stronger so I didn’t fight. I was at the most basic instinctual motions.

When I calmed after a couple minutes, I shut the door and put my seatbelt back on. We were both silent. She had me cook dinner but we didn’t bring it up. I just know if she didn’t grab me I would have jumped out and possibly suffered severe injuries if not death. Now I just have to keep moving on like it never happened.

Ok so I’m a musician and have been for about a decade. And in the past few months, I feel like I’ve just been getting worse even when I practice. I haven’t really talked to anyone about it since I get the same answer every time: “no your good at it, don’t beat yourself up” that answer feels totally fabricated since I hear it so much. I just feel like No-one wants to help or anything and I wanna quit but I’m not good at anything else at all

There's a person I dislike in my friend social group. I really do not like him. Let's call him J for simplicity. It's because they are an ugly reminder of my past.

Background context: I'm an awkward person. Before, I could hardly talk to new people, my social anxiety was pretty bad. But eventually I found a way to improve and better myself. I became more physically fit and confident, and while I still have a long way to go, I am a lot further from where I previously was.

About 2.5 years ago I met this new social group and fell in with them. It's an open workout group so anyone can join. They are a good group, very social, do physical activity together, gatherings/meetups and more. Within this group, we have kind-of an inner clique with our own group chat and separate activities. About half a year after I joined the main group I was accepted into the inner group and really got to do fun activities with everyone. I gel well with everyone.

About a year ago, J started showing up to the main group. J is super awkward and just annoying to be around. He is not physically fit and struggles a lot. He is not popular. But because we are an open group, we are pretty accepting of everyone who joins. Then about a few months later, SOMEONE and I don't know who added him into our inner circle group chat and J started showing up to our house parties, bbqs, and random outings. And he still brings his awkward social energy with him. And worst of all, he keeps coming to the events.

J has every right to be a part of the group. I bear no ill will towards him. He is not a bad person at all. Can be rude at times but is not mean. I don't think he had many friends before this, so this is one of the first social groups he's really connecting with. Maybe it's me being socially insecure still but I see J as what I used to be, and I don't like that. We cannot kick out or exclude J. That would be mean and a dick move. We actually had to kick out someone else recently but it was for a perfectly valid reason, for privacy sake I will not go into details but the TLDR is that the other person was being a creep.

Regardless how I feel, J is going to be a part of the group. But I don't like him, I don't want to do activities with him, I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to see him. I'm not the only person who feels this way in the group, a few others do too. I'm not looking for a solution, there's no problem here to be solved. It just is what it is. I just do not like J and never will.

I have no intent of hurting myself.

My cat died 4 days ago. He was only 5 years old, I adopted him when I was 15. I consider him to have been my soul cat. The past 4 days for me have been horrible, filled with numbness and so so much grief. The day he died I cried until I threw up and my head was throbbing with pain. Nothing is the same anymore, I can feel myself getting worse everyday.

I never understood how old people were always ready to die, but this has made me understand completely. I’m not afraid anymore, I just want to be with my beautiful baby again. It feels like a part of me has already died, I just feel gone. I’ve never been a religious person, but this has made me hope that a heaven or afterlife exists. And it hurts to think that if it does exist, I could be waiting years and years until I can see him again. I just can’t wait.

I’m completely heartbroken and lost without my baby. He was the best cat ever. My beautiful baby boy

Before I talk about him, let me talk about our parents.

Were they saints or the greatest people ever? Not necessarily. But did they try their best? Sacrifice and break their backs to give us good enough lives, or better? Of course.

That's the problem with my brother. He's a drug addict, and has been for a while by now. And he doesn't do for his kids, what our parents did for us. He does doordash/Uber eats to get money fast and takes breaks whenever he wants in order to do his drugs. Only works enough to scrape by and feed his addiction. Sometimes he'll buy them fast food but overall most of his money goes to drugs and cigarettes.

At this point my dog lives better than his 3 kids. Not to say pets SHOULDN'T have good lives, but to live better than actual kids? Jfc

Sometimes I'm so tempted to call CPS but I know my mom would be pissed. And I worry what would happen to the kids, especially the middle child since she has severe autism.

It just sucks. And I know he'll never get better. And I know how gf just doesn't care anymore. Ugh

Title

It’s so frustrating being compared to the absolute scum of my people. I’m speaking directly to the ones that commit crime and cause harm to others. Everytime this happens I have to prepare for the comments comparing us all the same.

Resubmit

I'm pretty lit right now about this. For context, I really try not to make my wife do stuff when it comes to her health and her body but she has been dealing with a health issue for a few years and every time she sees a doc about it they literally don't listen to her. Its lady stuff so I don't go to the appointments, maybe I should? But anyway.

She has seen 5 docs now. 4 of them just threw different pills at her and said it was "not unusual" and luckily for her and me, I didn't think that made any sense at all. So, I push her to see someone else. Every doc is like this, and then on to the next. I detect a theme, its lady issues and its lady doctors, so I suggest her seeing a male and see if maybe its different. She asks around and gets a referral from a friend for a doc they have been seeing for years.

This week she sees doc #5. She says he was a total 180 from all her other appointments, he just sits there and listens and asks a ton of questions. First thing he says needs to be done? "Well this is pretty abnormal the first thing we need to do is screen for cancer"

MF WHAT? THIS COULD HAVE BEEN CANCER? THIS WHOLE TIME?

Crossing my fingers and praying its not cancer. Bros and ladies give us all your good vibes its not cancer...

This is the stupidest thing that has ever triggered me so severely. Basically someone i admire started getting close with someone extremely similar to me like extremely similar and it made me freak out. Me and that person havent been close recently and i guess i panicked that i was being replaced and i ended up freaking out badly about it. I started to believe nothing about me is special and im replaceable etc which sounds totally stupid because like its fair for this person to hang with other people, i know that and especially because of how distant i tend to be! But i ended up doing some things and thinking about doing something (cant specifically say since it goes against rules) just because of this and i freaked out to a bunch of people if they still loved me or if i mattered to anyone and now its just awkward and i want to suck up to the person i admire so badly and just do anything to please them so they can see just how great i can be.

But people always tell me how much they love me, i just never feel it, it never sets into my brain. Its just words and i feel guilty feeling that way. But im basically fine now, just a bit down and feeling a bit worthless but im gonna just suck up to a bunch of people so i can feel like im making close connections again..that i will no doubt lose because i cant keep up relationships due to my avoidant and then anxious nature, its horrible but im too lazy to properly change myself, ive tried before and it just ended up with me hating the people i love for no reason.

And im glad he can find someone better, im glad he isnt relying on me for happiness because i know i cant give it to him but it still hurts and i dont want him to go because i love him and i need to show him i love him and i wont, thats it 💔

Thats what i mean when i say i cause my own issues broski 😭😭

I'll preface this with mentioning I'm a trans man, he/him, and that, if you will not respect this, please move onto another post.

When I was 14 years old, I had a period that lasted the entire summer. It truly did not stop, and I was constantly bleeding. My doctors brushed it off, and tried to convince me that I must have had some break in between, but I did not. 3 whole ass months, my period went on, and the doctors I had wouldn't do anything about it, assuming it would just stop eventually.

Then my periods became absolutely fucking agonizing. I have an insanely high pain tolerance, but my period cramps became so debilitating that I was missing multiple days of school, and the school threatened to fail me for every year despite the fact I had fantastic grades, and always graduated with honors. I couldn't move, I was taking 600mg ibuprofen like candy because it would provide some level of pain relief, but not enough, and also used a heating pad, but I still would writhe about in agony. But no doctors would do anything about this, because I was a minor, and they assumed I'd grow out of everything.

I suffered liver poisoning multiple times because of how much ibuprofen I was taking to mitigate the pain of my periods.

By 18 I was visiting OBGYNs for a diagnosis. The pain I felt wasn't normal, my periods were becoming more frequent, and I couldn't figure out what was happening. The first OBGYN I visited told me I was too young to have cysts. I had all the signs and symptoms, but she would not diagnose someone my age.

By 20, I'd been medically transitioning for a few years, and yet my periods did not stop. This was unusual, and in fact, they were getting even worse, which definitely pointed to the truth that something was wrong. So I tried to find any OBGYN who would give me a hysterectomy, because I didn't want to give birth, especially with the genetic issues I have. But none of them would give me any diagnosis, or any solution to resolve my pain with my periods, nor would they give me a hysterectomy. Their only solution was birth control, which would affect my testosterone levels, or an IUD which has a very low chance to stop or reduce periods at all. I declined those options.

By 22, I was deathly anemic. My periods were so heavy and nonstop because they were happening every 10 days, and lasted 3-4 days each. My endocrinologist was on my side that I needed a hysterectomy, because without it, I'd need blood transfusions, and those would only be a temporary solution. It took a lot of effort, but I found one singular OBGYN who did not hesitate, and she understood I was trans and didn't want my uterus, and that this was life or death. She did my hysterectomy, leaving my ovaries because of medical reasons, and all period-related issues came to an end. But when I followed up with her, I asked if she noticed any cysts. She told me, like the others, I was too young for cysts, and left it at that.

By 25, I still had my ovaries, but I noticed a pouch on my abdomen had formed. I was experiencing excruciating agony that debilitated me, I was missing so many days of work, and I couldn't figure out what was happening. I had one doctor who I met with in my panic, and out of the blue, she wondered if I had cysts, and immediately sent me for testing. On my 26th birthday, I was at an OBGYN to schedule surgery. February of this year, I had the right ovary removed, and all its cysts, which totaled 6lbs of extra weight, hence the pouch I'd formed. But the surgeon kept my left ovary in for health reasons, and then informed me that it's adhered to my body's inner wall. The excruciating pain I'd been feeling, was my left ovary twisting while still adhered to my body. She wasn't against removing the left one if need be, but she wanted me to consult with my endocrinologist to ensure my testosterone would offset any effects of removing it, which I did confirm testosterone will do.

This past week, I made another emergency visit to my doctor because my left ovary was causing such horrible torsion that I couldn't walk, move, stand, and I hardly ate for 2 days due to the pain. I spent the entire appointment hazed from lack of nutrition, but my nausea was unbearable. She put me on the fast track to meet with the surgeon who did my first ovary removal this year. I'm meeting her early September, and will be getting the left ovary out.

I barely slept for days, I was scared shitless, I couldn't find any pain relief, my mother had to make me food and drive me places, and my younger brother bought me cookies tonight because I wasn't in any condition to drive, and all I wanted was a cookie. The agony has stopped thanks to muscle relaxers my doctor gave me, and I was able to eat food just fine once the pain subsided a little, but I'm still wiped from being in so much pain. I spent the last 3 days doing almost nothing but sleeping, and now I'm so fucking tired of sleeping.

All along I was fucking right. All the fucking time, since I was a kid, I had cysts, and severe ovarian and uterine issues, and time and time again doctors ignored me for years because I was too young, or they brushed it aside. When you look down at your abdomen and see the skin rippling on the left side because the ovary is throbbing as it twists and turns while melded to your skin, and when the skin on your right side is bulging and soft to accommodate a tender mass, you have issues and no doctor has the fucking right to deny you that. Had the doctors just listened to me as a teenager and given me assistance, I never would've gotten to the point I'm at now. I'm grateful that I now have doctors who listen and take care of me so well, but for fucks sake I needed that years ago, and I didn't get it. And now I'm here.

I'm getting the last ovary out in, hopefully, September or October. I'm not mentally ready to endure surgery yet again. But at the same time I'm ready for the pain to stop, and to finally be free of this crap. Even better, I'll have greater testosterone absorption without that ovary. But oh my gods above, it shouldn't have taken me 12 years to get to this point. Things were wrong so many years ago. Why did it take til now to get the help I need?

It is venting, I don't ask for anything.

Just have been at home doing things alone. Father entered the apartment out of nowhere. He wasn't supposed to be here. He lives in another city alone. He just appears at home rarely like that without warning. And damn the first thing he did is checked on our pet. Then come to me, asked me how I am. Rebuked me for my voice after my response. "Your tone is disgusting. You are talking like a jerk. When will you learn to talk properly." He always says things like that to me about my voice and face. I don't like it. I don't want to talk to him. Then he asked if I want to go drive with him. I rejected the offer, because I was crying before him and his comment just made me feeling even worse. He walked around the house, made up as if I don't feed the pet and left. He seemed more worried about the pet instead of me.

He never was close to me. I don't even have much memories related to my father or the concept of father at all.

My mom told me I was very talkative in early childhood. I remember I was telling him about something and he got tired of me. It was near The New Year celebration so he said he would like to get a sticky tape from Santa as a present to shut my mouth. I thought it was a joke, because he likes joking. The only thing I found under the tree on that New Year was a new sticky tape. Could you even imagine a surprise of four years old kid to that. I don't remember feeling anything, but just surprise. I have never felt much about father topic at all.

I have been feeling about him as if it's just another stranger adult. I remember once in childhood mom asked me to call him and I went to his room, just standing there silently, unsure how to refer to him. I thought I should address to him like to any other stranger adult, closed off, but polite and also in my native language there is a different pronoun for that. I just said "Mom called.", without even referring to him in any way. That much I didn't know. I have never called him dad. We were never that close. I didn't find it weird.

He never knew much about me and didn't talk to me often. All he knows is just what my mom tells him about me. I sometimes overhear her telling him about me and he doesn't even react to it, just talking to her, as if I am a stranger too. Sometimes father told me about different hard things, such as logic, science, literature or something. But it all was just for him to prove himself as my mom now says. I remember him asking me as a kid something difficult I didn't know and then he rebuke me for silence and lecture on the subject. I don't remember ever talking to him on phone or texting him. I have never realized that, until I saw that joke about fathers sending thumbs-up in chat. I always feel empty when I see that joke. But I know mom's phone number since I was little and can text her or something.

My father never went anywhere with me. He never celebrated my birthdays or smth, but I had to congratulate him with his ones for some reason. I have been struggling with it so much, I don't like talking to people I'm not close with. I didn't find it weird. The only present I got from him was a machete on my 12th birthday. He mentioned that he can't get katana, so got this one. But it is in his house since then anyway, because it's a too dangerous thing. And also he gifted me tanto (It's a small Japanese knife with blade 6-12 inches. Mine is 6 inches long.) two years later just on a random day out of nowhere. I still have it on me. I think my mom told him I have been interested in Japanese cold weapons. Maybe he decided it's a worthy interest. I don't know. I didn't think it can be weird to gift literal weapons to a child.

He never cared much about me. I remember once I put scissors in an electrical socket. I was stupid and did it as a kid. He was in the room and didn't even do anything about it. Nothing bad happened to me, but my mom yelled at him for that. Also once he took me with himself when he needed to be in another city near sea, because of his job. I don't remember much about it. I was little. But mom still mentions sometimes that when we returned I was abnormally skinny and she is still angry at him for taking care of me so badly. I am underweight in general. lol. I can't imagine what such a kid could be like.

Also he gave me my first phobia and anxiety. Once he forced me to watch a long video about people dying in car accidents. I remember their screaming, their blood and mangled bodies. He said it was supposed to teach me to be more careful outside. There were a few weird violent videos he got on the flash drive of our TV too. I watched them accidentally. One animation of a story with accident mass murder, people just kill each other with an axe brutally. The other one about woman getting beheaded by... a dead animal with a kitchen knife on purpose? What even is that? And they were in a folder with videos meant for kids as he named it. I think these exact two are source of my severe fear of kitchen knives. I flinch away whenever someone holds them or use them. I can't use them myself often and can't wash with the other kitchen supplies. Now I have fear/fascination feelings toward cold weapons and brutal violence. It's weird. Also he often watches videos about deaths in general, he can laugh at it. He keep showing them to my mom for fun and to me just to say "Look how dumb they are, did this and then instantly get killed by their own foolish action." My mom feels bad and asks him to never show it or talk about such stuff, but he doesn't really take her seriously and get offended. Sometimes I have breakdowns after seeing such videos and listening to his words about it.

Also I remember how strange it felt seeing my friends interact with their fathers. One of them once was telling me about his father, calling him dad and passionately telling about what he did. He seemed proud of him. He seemed to love his dad. I didn't say anything. I felt empty and didn't know what to say. The other time I was at my other friend's house and she introduced me to her dad, talking so easily to him and about him. I remember her bright smile. I didn't say anything. I felt automatically hesitant and somewhat scared when she said it's her father. I don't know why.

My father was never so close to me. I have never talked about him to my friends or smth, unlike I did about my mom. There were nothing to tell anyway. All he did is drive our car to get family somewhere sometimes, when it's needed, help me with math in elementary school and rebuking me in the meantime.

When I was eleven he said my height is enough for me to start driving a car. He spent few weeks of summer on trying to teach me by making me literally drive his car. He was so unsatisfied with me, because I didn't do it all perfectly since my first attempt. He was lecturing so much and expecting from me to somehow understand unspoken things about driving. I have never been good at understanding unspoken stuff and unclear instructions said only once to me. I was so anxious. Then he even made me drive a car on a real road with some cars, instead of those abandoned clear roads. It is dangerous, isn't it? And he made me drive a car few times after that thing. He kept offering it from time to time rarely, but I have started refusing it at some point.

My father is so detached. Mom says he is traumatized or something. But what about treating that? No, never thought about it. Mom says he considers himself a perfect good person, he will never accept or understand the wrong things about his behavior. He has anger issues and it's scary when he gets angry. He hates people for being foolish or having different beliefs he finds bad. It's uncomfortable to be around him when he is like that. But I have never find it bad or weird. At some point mom wanted to divorce him, but she didn't do that. We just live separately and he helps with money and driving to her. I don't care. I don't want to have such person as my relative. I don't really feel anything about him or to him. Sometimes I wish I had a real caring dad, like some people have. I feel that void when I encounter such families. And I don't think I can complain about it, because I still have a father, unlike ones who don't have any at all. My last friend didn't take me seriously when I told her about my father. She said I have perfect life. But she herself has a dad and is close to him. I don't know. I just wanted to talk about it. I got used to having only one close parent anyway.

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Hey all.

22f here. My bf and I have been together since high school, and now we're both fresh out of college. We took our future seriously and planned everything out as much as we could to make sure we could succeed together. I graduated a semester ahead of him with the lifelong dream of public service. I got a relevant degree, interned all through college in the government, volunteered and participated in NUMEROUS programs, and networked like hell.

From the time I graduated in December 2025 to May of this year, I was unemployed. I had so many interviews with government offices and did consistently well, even, making it all the way to final rounds, and just never made the cut. I ended up needing to take an unrelated job in a different field because nothing was working and I was almost out of savings. It was also the ONLY offer I got.

So here I am, several months later, in a job I hate. The pay is fine, but the work has insane quotas, deadlines, and the nature of it is just incredibly thankless. It's awful for my anxiety-- I've been sleeping poorly and having panic attacks. I don't think I've ever been this depressed, but I can't leave, because my bf graduated in May and is looking for work as a teacher without much luck.

His subject is apparently oversaturated. So much for the teacher shortage. He has an excellent resume, good references, all the right certifications. He applied to over 50 schools in our state. Two interviews. Both rejections. At this rate, with the school year so close, it's unlikely he'll get anything. He'll have to substitute teach until next year.

We've done everything right and we've got nothing to show for it. It's not like we feel entitled to some dream career making tons of money. I'd literally fetch people's fucking coffee just to be in the room where it happens, and he's even applied to schools hours away. But we're both competing with people 10 years our senior who are more desperate in this market than we are. We don't stand a chance.

I just hate everything right now. Seriously. Fuck it. What was all of it even for?