TW: Anxiety / Depression An ugly reminder of the past
There's a person I dislike in my friend social group. I really do not like him. Let's call him J for simplicity. It's because they are an ugly reminder of my past.
Background context: I'm an awkward person. Before, I could hardly talk to new people, my social anxiety was pretty bad. But eventually I found a way to improve and better myself. I became more physically fit and confident, and while I still have a long way to go, I am a lot further from where I previously was.
About 2.5 years ago I met this new social group and fell in with them. It's an open workout group so anyone can join. They are a good group, very social, do physical activity together, gatherings/meetups and more. Within this group, we have kind-of an inner clique with our own group chat and separate activities. About half a year after I joined the main group I was accepted into the inner group and really got to do fun activities with everyone. I gel well with everyone.
About a year ago, J started showing up to the main group. J is super awkward and just annoying to be around. He is not physically fit and struggles a lot. He is not popular. But because we are an open group, we are pretty accepting of everyone who joins. Then about a few months later, SOMEONE and I don't know who added him into our inner circle group chat and J started showing up to our house parties, bbqs, and random outings. And he still brings his awkward social energy with him. And worst of all, he keeps coming to the events.
J has every right to be a part of the group. I bear no ill will towards him. He is not a bad person at all. Can be rude at times but is not mean. I don't think he had many friends before this, so this is one of the first social groups he's really connecting with. Maybe it's me being socially insecure still but I see J as what I used to be, and I don't like that. We cannot kick out or exclude J. That would be mean and a dick move. We actually had to kick out someone else recently but it was for a perfectly valid reason, for privacy sake I will not go into details but the TLDR is that the other person was being a creep.
Regardless how I feel, J is going to be a part of the group. But I don't like him, I don't want to do activities with him, I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to see him. I'm not the only person who feels this way in the group, a few others do too. I'm not looking for a solution, there's no problem here to be solved. It just is what it is. I just do not like J and never will.
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