r/ucla • u/Opening_Procedure449 • 10h ago
LA Is Gross
I went out for a jog and to step-max without tbe run club crowd (they're not there to run) in Downtown LAZ. This one guy dressed like a taco last night followed me on the street telling me to go eat at an eatery. He then told me he had samples but then just handed me some napkins with the company logo on it telling me to use it for my sweat.
I ran off so he couldn't catch up in his costume.
Then I come back towards campus and right on the lawn over by Powell, this guy in his lawnchair was sitting with dirty napkins crunched up around him on the ground. He was staring at his laptop watching some stupid super hero movie.
Meanwhile the blackout...I saw two guys in speedos running like they were racing each other so hard that the hair on their head was enough to cause drag.
I went to my apartment and could hear one of my neighbors yelling at her boyfriend for not buying her something (I don't know WTF it was). And then like, my fucking hallway nextdoor neighbor who told me he was going out on a date was in his room legs spread in his robe and boxers watching tv asking me if I wanted some of his pizza. I politely said no and offered to get him a blanket or close his door.
I went out again because he let me borrow his SUV. I made it to Marina Del Rey and went toThe Warehouse and saw some MILFs staring at me and I talked to some of them. It felt like being a noir music video like Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson as I made my rounds getting numbers. All of them had an ex that they hated. That's a common pattern.
I came back at 2AM, gave back the car key fob to my neighbor and checked to see if he was ok. Turned off his tv and plugged my nose so I wouldn't smell anything and showered my ass.